Like they said - it is ALL in the habits. Start small - pick something that really bugs you and focus on changing that over a month's time. I like Flylady as well but don't stick to her methods (and I hate all those emails), but I took what I could use from her method.
I have checklists - one for morning and one for evening. I don't do things in the same order every day but everything must be completed before any "fun" stuff (like coming on here!). My morning checklist - make bed, shower and dress, swipe bathroom, do a load of laundry, feed family, unload dishwasher, 5 minutes cleaning a "hot spot" (pile of papers on my desk or table, etc). That's it. Nothing that will kill me - but by doing these things (especially the bathroom, laundry, dishwasher, and hot spot) my house is not as cluttered. Evening checklist -lay out clothes for tomorrow for me and dd, make sure kitchen is clean (I hate going into a messy kitchen in the morning), pick up any toys laying around (dd's job), and if floor is messy - quick swiffer. Once a week we take one hour to change bedding (gets washed and put back on the bed that day), dust, wipe down mirrors, vacuum, change all the trash. Sure, vacuuming could be done more often, but once a week keeps it manageable.
Sorry this got so long - but it CAN be done. Start small and change one thing at a time.