A la carte classes are the route we decided to go as well. So much depends on the child... OP, you know your daughter best. Thinking of you as you consider the options... :grouphug:

It's from Ordinary Children, Extraordinary Teacher. :) I think young people have really gotten a rotten break. We talk about how terrible they are, but think of the diet of happy-ever-after stories in their schools. Well, you know what we tell our children, "Kids, the castle leaks, the castle roof leaks, it has to be painted, the lawn has to be mowed - it has to be maintained." It's interesting that I didn't even underline the passage when I first read it. The book has countless underlines and stars, but the phrase that stuck with me the longest went almost unnoticed at first pass...it never-the-less rooted in my psyche... It's underlined and starred now. ;)

:laugh: I haven't read the book, but hope someone chimes in! I'd love to read the discussion!

We're still reading aloud, with no plans to stop. Although, not nearly as much as we used to... I treasure those moments!

Thanks. As I'm going through the books that's the conclusion I'm coming to. I'm going to mark the boxes clearly in case I ever need to find a book quickly. That's come in handy more than once when I needed to unearth a book from her childhood for one reason or another. How poignant this is.... There are plenty of math books, biographies of women in mathematics, etc. I can let go of the guilt that she didn't develop a passion for math... I tried; I have my proof. So many books on various topics... I wonder why some didn't prompt her to pursue the subjects further. I find books she reread over and over and carried around for weeks and months and years. I find books that gave her little bits of information that always seemed to come from nowhere. Herein lies the source. I find books she never read. Would she be different if she had? Would a spark have turned to a flame? Then I run across a couple books I bought because a curriculum book list told me to... Those. Those books. Of all the books, it was those that drew her in, that captivated her, that beckoned her to follow... They changed everything - these books I would never have thought to buy... As I go through more books, the tapestry of who she is becoming begins to weave.... Yes. It is good and right to go through the books. It's time to discard the scraps, the scraps whose colors I lovingly chose, now past their usefulness... It's time to make room for more tapestry thread. Thread of her choosing...

Any advice on rearranging book shelves once the youngest child is past a certain stage? I want to clear out our study bookshelves to make room for high school level and beyond books, but am having trouble moving out all the middle school books we never got to... Should I leave them out elsewhere and take up precious space or pack them away? She never felt inclined to read them in middle school, will she be inclined to read them later? They are good books, but for whatever reason they didn't speak to her. Others she did read and/or are reference books, but for middle school. Surely I should just pack them away, right? Will she really use middle school books in high school? Do any of you pack away books or do you keep them all out? I'm considering packing away some of them. It feels like I'm holding her back and not letting her move on if I keep them out, but I also don't want to hurry her along... :crying: Any BTDT advice?

The castle leaks. That sums up so much of what Marva Collins taught me. No matter what you have, achieve, or know... Everything has to be maintained. Hard work must happen. Over and over and over. I gleaned much from her writing, but that one phrase comes to me most often.

Long and complex and audio probably shouldn't be used in the same sentence....at least not for me. ;) I flip back way too much... Should I wait for fall or winter? Is summer a bad time? What is the seasonal setting of the book?

DD and I moved first to make sure the move would be in the family's best interest. Dh stayed with his job until we all felt relatively certain. Not fun, but worth it...for us. Like everything else in the process, we had a plan in place. Skype and various other technological tools were gifts from the gods. Over the phone or via texts, dh intervened during arguments dd and I were having, just like always, even though he was miles and miles away. Skype allowed us to cook and eat dinner together. Where there's a will, there's an app... ;) As difficult as that time was, there are many happy memories as well. As in most difficult times, there was fertile soil for growth - for all of us. I'm not recommending it to OP. Just throwing it out there in case there are others in similar circumstances.

This may be way off base, so feel to ignore if it doesn't apply to your situation. :) Handing you the salt shaker, I'll proceed.... I would evaluate what situations you dd is in. She's not part of the high school teen scene in a brick-and-mortar school. What about elsewhere? What will change in the next couple years? Will she hear about the topics elsewhere? Where? From a friend's personal experience? On the news? From you? I wrestle with the concept of protection vs ending innocence. Sometimes ending innocence in the literature realm can help protect it in other realms.... As always, everything depends on the child and what situations the child is in. If she is spending time with older teens, there's a chance she may hear about these topics elsewhere. Literature can sometimes serve as inoculation... Just a thought...

Hmm....do you think it's a bad idea to get The Historian on Audible? When I'm listening to audiobooks I'm usually on the treadmill, doing dishes, driving, etc. so it's tricky to try to go back and reread to clear confusions. Would a print version be better? I was going to get the audio book, but now I'm second guessing the idea...

To clarify, my comment about law school being self-selecting was just pointing out that there was probably some common ground beyond intelligence. In the above quoted post you mention that there were really smart interesting people who didn't fit in during law school. So even common ground and intelligence aren't enough. I think we probably are in agreement there. I also agree that there are possibilities in later life for social opportunities that aren't available earlier. The odds probably increase as self-selecting opportunities do, which is my point. Just being with other HG kids might not be enough. Other things matter. Agreeing again that emotional and social challenges are relevant to giftedness (as they are in all situations) and should be considered. Absolutely! One differing opinion I have from some parents of gifted kids is that I don't believe being around lots more gifted kids is always the right answer. Sometimes it is, sometimes it isn't. Sometimes being around older, more mature people is a better answer than being around lots of other gifted kids the same age. I do think that increasing the number of children a child is exposed to increases the odds of a good fit, whatever that means for a given child. Looking back on our own move, it was the dramatic increase in the pool of potential friends that made the difference. The area has a greater than average number of identified HG children, but it has been interesting to watch the mix of friendships dd developed. For her, I'm not sure being in a situation where she was surrounded only by HG children would be the best scerenrio. For some kids, it absolutely would be. Sometimes it's hard to know beforehand... What has been important for dd is being around people with similar interests. Many, many people of differing ages and abilities with similar interests. To, in effect, be submerged in a subculture... I'm not sure of the details of OP's situation, but I do wonder if she would lose some of what she has now. There are definitely more risks in her situation than there were in ours. (ETA: In addition to more people and the science subculture, having more opportunities, in general, has also had a significant influence on quality of life after the move.) I think it's a good idea to be realistic and go in with eyes wide open. What is the potential for increase in happiness and life satisfaction? What is the potential for a decrease? What is being left behind and at what cost? This is something we grappled with recently when some gifted opportunities turned out not to be all that we had hoped. Thankfully the risk was minimal, and we learned a lot about our daughter in the process. It will help us make more informed decisions in the future.

Is it always a matter of just being around other HG kids, though? Are they all interchangeable as long as they're HG? Are friendships a given? Law school is somewhat self-selecting, isn't it? It's also a different level of maturity. I've seen some HG kids who are indistinguishable from other kids, unless in an academic environment. (Sometimes they are indistinguishable even then!) Socially they blend right in. I've also seen HG kids feeling left out in situations with other HG kids, they just didn't click. Middle school can be tough. I've not seen being around other HG kids automatically making the social scene a good one. I also know many non HG adults working though identity issues from their teenage/early twenty years. I don't think that's unique to giftedness.

Good point and something I forgot to mention. It took us two moves to eventually make it here. We also are very much in the mindset that it's only for a few years. Once dd moves on, there will be nothing to hold us here. Of course, life happens: economies crash, heath changes, etc., so there is no guarantee another move will be possible. We made sure we could be reasonably happy long term in the new location, but also sometimes discuss where the next phase in life will take us. :) The angst I mentioned in my previous post stemmed from the fact that we could not return to life as we knew it once we moved. So much of it had been a once-in-a-lifetime type of deal. The house, the job, etc. So while we could always move on, we could never move back. ;)

Our situation is similar to yours, ddmetler. We decided to cross the Rubicon. ;) Some of the differences, though, would give me pause. 1. The move was an improvement in climate for us. 2. Giving up amphibians would have been a big negative for my dd. But, she's more amphibian and less reptile, so there's that... She's glad to still have both. :) 3. What we were doing wasn't working. We didn't have the opportunities your dd has where she is now. 4. We weren't moving for one specific program. We were moving for many different opportunities. It turned out several weren't at all what we expected and were terrible fits. I shudder to think what it would have been like to move for one program that turned out not to be a good fit. For us, just having same level giftedness doesn't equate fitting in or finding peers. There's much more to it than that. YMMV. :) With that said, I think I may know which program you are referring to. It's certainly unique and not easily found elsewhere. One thing we did, which had countless lasting benefits, was visiting the area we eventually moved to many times for extended stays over a period of years. We spent our days like we lived there, not doing touristy activities. (Or at least not many.) It's a huge decision with many risks. Everyone needs to be on board. There were many times of stress and doubt during our transition. I'm so glad we all had the attitude that it was a unanimous decision. No one person to blame should it be a bad decision in the end. The move was a great decision for us, but I never underestimate how big of a disaster it could have been. Just try to do what you can to have Plans B and C. We had them, but thankfully didn't have to use them.

Different perspective... My first reaction to the bed check comment was to wonder about his life experiences. Perhaps his past involved a boarding school, military school, or some other situation where bed checks are routine. The question doesn't seem extreme to me... Interesting and curious perhaps, but it doesn't bring to mind the notion of overly intense parenting...

This was the case for someone I know. She never had children because she did so much of the raising of her siblings. She dotes on her nieces and nephews, though. I guess she just needed a break from full time responsibility. My experience has been 10+ down to one. We all made different decisions about how many children to have. 10+ to none. I agree that parenting is so much more than a numbers game.

Understood. I am always afraid to read a treasured book one too many times, thus ruining the magic... Reading at the wrong time is no good either...

Because you like it or don't? Last night I dreamt I went to Manderley again...

So true. We use commuting time for The Great Courses lectures on history, literature, critical thinking, etc, as well as for discussion. The lectures can be purchased for a fantastic price on Audible, especially if you have a membership. Once again, I think it comes back to reframing how we view things. My dd actually loves our time driving because she has my undivided attention. Um, she always has my undivided attention! :huh: :lol: For whatever reason, she loves our conversations on the road. I guess there is a different quality about them... Maybe instead of writing COMMUTE on the schedule I'll start writing History/Lit/Psych or Road Trip Heart-to-Heart. Somehow that makes those hours driving seem worthy of being in the schedule, as opposed to just being wasted. The time spent in the latter, especially, is priceless... Road Trip Heart to Heart... you, me, and the road...let's talk.

The situation I quoted comprised only one or two pages of the book. There are myriad situations mentioned, but that was the one that struck closest to home. Or at least the one that has stayed with me the longest... The book is heavy on developing the mother and not so much about any specific kind of child. I do think there is perhaps a stronger leaning toward mothers and daughters, but I don't remember for sure. Just wanted to give you a heads up, just in case.

Yes, I missed the edit! Thank you for pointing it out! Context is everything, isn't it? Thanks, again!

Or it could be I've misunderstood yours. I was getting the impression you spend most of your days and time at home, with little outside the home time at all. It's quite possible I was mistaken. I'd love to know rough ratios! Sometimes I think many of us talk past each other. I probably should have clarified before pondering it for days... ;)

You were still remarkably quick. I obviously gave too many hints! hmph ;)

THE Oak Parlor. Central to the whole book. It's the only one I know of so central... (Correct me if I'm mistaken!) (Hint: I'm pretty sure you've read the book, Rose...which rules out...)