When did you start doing what everyone else is doing or thinking like everyone else is thinking? ;) It seems making a visit to a university is a trivial matter when compared to your other recent undertakings. It didn't seem to matter much what everyone else was doing then... Why is this situation different? Reread your posts and ask yourself if these are the thoughts of someone unconcerned with fit. How do you predict how he will do? There are no guarantees. The best we can do is gather all the information available, which probably isn't going to happen if you follow the cultural norms you've mentioned. Your CA/KY comparison was a funny one to me because I have a friend who made a similar decision years ago. I would have no qualms saying he would likely be your son's peer if they were the same age. My friend left an Ivy League grad school where he was doing well academically because the fit wasn't good otherwise. Where did he go? Kentucky. He finished school there and is now among the top in his field. He wasn't from KY, it just happened to be (and still is) - dare I say it? A good fit. His work is recognized outside of KY and professionally he would be able to do well elsewhere as well, but he has no intentions of moving. Would anyone even need to know you are visiting? Just walking around a campus recently was enough for us to realize the location, size, and feel of the school weren't a good match for dd. No one had any idea why we were even there. Just visiting the town was a big clue. Probably enough in and of itself. I think it also matters how peer driven your son is. Attending gifted camps has helped us realize dd is not peer driven. Access to opportunities and professors are a much bigger factor for her. Thinking of situations your son has been in, do you have a feel for how peer driven he is? Remember you are considering a difference of 20 to 75 worldwide. Not 20 worldwide to unranked anywhere. The more data you have, the more informed your decision will be. Why make the choice to limit access to information that is pivotal in the decision?

Also check state requirements for yearly testing of homeschoolers. Sometimes the ACT counts, but the SAT doesn't. That may influence your decision.

Reported

I am on my phone, so this will be short, but ((hugs)) to you and your DD. I don't think you were wrong. The woman and her son were free to move elsewhere.

DD tested with the ACT through Duke then submitted scores for CTY. She wasn't eligible for SET because she didn't take the SAT. Testing through Duke then submitting scores to CTY didn't prevent her from winning awards. (Unless there are different awards than the ones I'm thinking of.)

Double the price to go to a school with a worldwide ranking of 20 as opposed to 75? Will he get double the return on the investment and double the happiness? Double the number of close friends and opportunities? At some point the returns start to level. Where that point is will vary from person to person. Sometimes it's not how many, but which ones. What if the one person or opportunity that could potentially change everything is at the school ranked 75th? So many unknowns... Just out of curiosity.... If you didn't use the extra money to pay for school, what could he do with it? Could he use it to travel, buy a car, make a down payment on a house, invest in a venture?

We use The Real ACT prep book. It's the big read book. She does a few questions from a couple sections a few times a week. It takes 5-10 min max. She reads the info about the testing procedures and recommendations each year before she takes the test to remind herself of the actual procedures and rules. She takes a full math section practice test once every couple months or so to practice timing and refresh her memory on math she hasn't done recently. The first year she took the ACT she did the ACT question of the day from a site online. That was good because she hadn't covered some material yet because we were going deeper with AoPS instead of faster. That put her at a disadvantage for not having covered topics she was completely capable of doing just because of the curriculum she was using. Doing the question of the day and studying anything she wasn't familiar with filled some gaps. Looking back, we should have used a different math program to begin with, but that's a different thread... I see ACT prep as a great way to review info and keep it fresh. It's useful for reasons beyond the actual test.

Please do keep us posted!

I presumed you meant the latter (references) and not the former (grade levels, etc.) :) None of the following may pertain to your situation at all, but I'll give you an idea of what I meant. A few years ago, we were in a similar place to where you are right now, dealing with people not understanding references, etc. For many reasons we eventually we decided to move, which I realize is not always an option or even a good idea. I'm just mentioning that to give context. Overall, the move improved the situation dramatically - life changing would not be an overstatement. Mentors, peers, opportunities.... On the other hand, some of the original issues remain. Being with peers doesn't always mean references will be understood. There is so much to know. People have different interests and pastimes. For history references, finding people who enjoy history would be the way to go. (Finding people with similar interests has been mentioned by many up thread, but it's worth repeating that having similar IQs doesn't always mean a connection and understanding will be automatic.) Another thought...Some of the most intriguing people I know aren't only brimming with knowledge and expertise, but they also possess the ability to relate that information to other people in a manner that allows everyone to feel at ease and respected. What does that have to do with an ten-year-old? It depends on the ten-year-old. For some it may be learning how to best deal with bullying that may ensue in some situations, for others it may mean learning to be comfortable being one's self and not hiding, for yet others it may mean learning to go beyond those issues into learning how to do what I mentioned above: passing on the knowledge to others in a way that enriches everyone involved. These mentors we all long for and adore were ten-year-olds once... I think sometimes it's easy to think that if we just find the right group, we will be understood and can relax. (I mean that as a generality, it may not apply to you.) For us that group is much smaller than we had hoped, and in most group settings there is still work to be done and lessons to be learned. As I said previously, none of this may pertain to your situation at all. I don't have an easy answer or a step-by-step solution. In many ways, we're still in the thick of it. With that said, I understand your frustration; I remember those days well. They were not easy. I hope you are able to find other children or adults with whom your daughter feels at ease and can more openly be herself. In the meantime, I wish you all the best navigating the waters and absorbing whatever lessons float by.

Wonderful! Glad to hear it's straightened out! Hope you both have a splendid time! Hope the cat continues to do well. :grouphug:

We wrestled with this during middle school, looking into Mary Baldwin and other options. In the end, we decided against it. APs and dual enrollment will allow DD to continue the unique opportunities she's a part of. Early college would not. If APs and a solid DE program at a respected four year university weren't available, we might make a different decision. Likewise, if she weren't involved in several academic projects and intensive personal growth activities, we might make a different decision. OP, from your description of the options in your area, I would probably seriously consider early college. Sometimes early college is an excellent choice. Good luck deciding!

I'm confused by the bolded. It is for college students, isn't it? Wouldn't it be reasonable for them to question a ten-year-old attending? I know you've said she is working at college level in some areas, but it seems fair for the issue to be raised. I'm not sure what the event is, but there may be good reason for them to try the " 'this is for college students' thing". As far as her attending alone after they've made it a sticking point... I would want to make sure it is something she can absolutely handle on her own. Social situations can be tricky. I would want to make sure her maturity level can handle the event before I went to extra lengths for her to gain admittance. Didn't she end up needing some downtime at the conference she went to last summer?

:iagree:

Consider it a small repayment for all your advice and encouragement regarding CTY language classes. My daughter had a wonderful semester of Spanish, thanks in part to you!

One problem I have with using the word so freely is that it weakens it, robbing it of its power. ETA: I'm a firm believer in censoring the use of the word censor. ;)

Sorry about the formatting.

Course name Start date Time Location Default sort AP Calculus AB MoWe 12:30-2:00pm Eastern Stublen, A online Wait space available Pricing options Geometry TuTh 9:30-11:00am Eastern Smith, L online Add to cart Pricing options Geometry MoWe 8:00-9:30am Eastern Smith, L online Add to cart Pricing options Geometry MoWe 2:00-3:30pm Eastern Smith, L online Add to cart Pricing options

Censorship is a strong word. Is it censorship to steer our children to different books or to even not allow a certain book at a certain time? Don't we all mull over curriculum choices, sometimes tossing books in the giveaway pile when we realize they're not a good fit? Is that censorship? Or is that discernment? Knowing the audience... Deciding not to encourage or permit a child to read Ramona at a certain point in time doesn't necessarily mean the child's life will only consist of butterflies and rainbows, Leave it to Beaver and Pollyanna. It could just mean that at that moment, it's not the best choice – or even a good choice. Fun, genuine, real, relateable...those are some traits of the Ramona books I'm seeing mentioned. Sometimes there is a false dichotomy presented between those characteristics and the classics. That's simply not the case. Nor is it the case that all classics, even those for children, are sparkly clean. The choice to read something instead of Ramona could come from myraid directions including vocabulary level and sentence structure. It could also be because different children struggle in different areas and would relate better to a different character. That doesn't mean the child is always well-behaved. Perhaps the mischief is just of another flavor. As far as finding alternative bad words. Well, the classics are an excellent place to look! Even some children's classics. In fact, that's something I love about the classics. I started to post a sentence or two here from a classic, but the ^$^#(*@ needed was beyond my comfort level for the board. Never-the-less, I was once again impressed by the creativity involved. It's good to be able to relate to a character in a book – not just with strengths, but with weaknesses as well. It doesn't necessarily need to happen in a modern setting, in a modern book, although it can. Preferences vary. For us, realizing someone who lived long ago and far away experienced the same struggles with being human is profound. That doesn't mean it can't be funny, too. In the introduction to one edition of Don Quixote, Carole Slade relates a story: King Philip III remarked of a student he spotted from his balcony bursting into fits of laughter while reading a book, “That student has either lost his wits or he is reading Don Quixote.†A courtier who went to investigate found that the young man was indeed reading Don Quixote. I say that not to suggest Don Quixote as a replacement for Ramona, but to suggest the traits mentioned in the thread as being found in Ramona can be found elsewhere. Sometimes other characteristics are what attracts or repels one to or from the book. There have been times when my daughter and I are reading Don Quixote and we are both breathless with laughter. Sometimes one of us will say, “But I do that!†The other responds, “Well, you shouldn't!†Laughter and learning are found in many, many books.

Thanks for your post; I enjoyed reading it. I was reminded of a passage from Don Quixote which discusses the topic briefly. I'm certain even that wasn't the first time the subject appeared. This conversation has been going on for centuries... thanks for your contribution.

Double post.

We like funny, too. We found plenty of humor in other books. We aren't against humor. At all. ;)

YAYOG DVDs are helpful too.

Sometimes it's more a matter of so many books, so little time. Prioritizing. Where does this rank, given all the options?

This is a case of knowing the child. Absolutely. I can think of situations I would be hesitant to bring it up as well. I don't believe this either. We agree. :) Learning and catching up are two different things.

Speaking from situations with friends, not siblings, so it may or may not be useful... ;) We have frequent discussions about bell curves, the curve within the curve and the curve within that curve. This is useful when she is the one ahead and when she is the one behind. Sometimes it is clear that yes, genetics are at play. When there are hours of work and buckets of tears over struggles while someone else is breezing through in minutes, it can be a game changer to bring up genetics. Note the can be. In some situations this can take the pressure off and actually remove mental blocks and help the child move on rather than remain stuck. It helps to remove the possibility of competition off the table. They are playing in different leagues. I always try to balance the conversations with her being on one end of the curve in one area and on the other end in a different area. I might even do the same about the friend, myself, or someone she admires to take the focus off her so she can get some perspective. We then talk about genetic ranges. Her goal is to push herself to the high end of her range. We won't know what that is unless she tries. These are long conversations and this is just a tiny snapshot. We've had them from a young age and they do seem to help her. ETA: The conversations don't always make it "all better" though. Sometimes there is just nothing that takes away the sting. Such is life. We try to find a way to deal the best we can.