Ack! I just realized I wrote the title incorrectly. It should read: Investigating Chemistry: A Forensics Science Perspective

:svengo: Decisions would be so much easier if that were the case in my situation!!

I just remembered something I posted a few weeks ago in an effort to view our commutes in a more positive light...how quickly I forget... The commute time is when we plan to listen to the Great Courses Literature lectures. I'm almost positive we wouldn't sit and listen to them at home. The drive times are also often like mini road trips with lots of talking. The drives home are often particularly meaningful - maybe it's the quiet dark falling... I'm feeling much better about the commutes since remembering that. Now just to sort out the rest of what I'm thinking...

So he gets lots of fresh air, time in nature, and exercise during his commutes. A win in so many ways!

Yes! Thanks for helping me find words for some of my thoughts!

We've been discussing this recently - the difference between free time and down time. She needs to understand if she spends her free time doing lots of activities, she can't skip home responsibilities to have down time. If she wants more down time, she needs to factor that in to how she spends her free time. I hope that makes sense.

What a difference that must make! I cannot even imagine! Thanks for including that oh so important detail. Our EC's involve an hour round trip drive or longer. It rarely makes sense for me to return home while she's there because I would then be driving during rush hour and would be in the car 2.5-3 hours total for the day. Obviously yours is a very different scenario... The devil is in the details...

Thanks, Arcadia!

I'm not sure what I'm asking! ;) I appreciate any and all thoughts. :) Feel free to put your post back! I really appreciated it!

I'm not sure why I felt the need to specify nonacademic extracurriculars. Did I think academic ones happen in a vacuum and don't take up time and energy? :confused1: I can't remember now... Hmmm.... What exactly is a nonacademic extracurricular anyway? Maybe that whole concept is irrelevant to the discussion... Thanks for the responses so far. I'm not quite sure what I'm thinking, but reading through the posts I feel better knowing I'm not the only one struggling... I'm not sure what the goal is. What is a non-hurried child? Where is the line? Is it if the child is stressed? Is that what makes the child hurried? Still thinking and processing the posts...

If this has been covered, feel free to direct me to links. :) We've discussed academic passions, but what about extracurricular ones with commitments? I'm particularity interested in ones that don't have a direct academic leaning (science or math clubs). How many does your child have? How many hours a week total are spent on them? I'm not thinking of passions that the students can just easily skip or walk away from on a given day- such as drawing or video games. I'm thinking more along the lines of someone expecting a student to show up - such as for a performance. In other words, it's my annual beginning of the school year thread of panic.... ;)

Thank you, once again, Lori. You saved me much angst this morning!

This may not be what the OP is looking for, but I thought someone might find it useful. Our main chemistry textbook this year was Investigating Chemistry: A Forensic Science Perspective. It was written by a community college professor, so high school is probably the earliest I would recommend it for most students. True crime investigations and the science used in them are the basis for introducing beginning chemistry. It was the perfect chemistry book for us. We didn't finish it because it covered more than a high school entry level chemistry class. My daughter read most, if not all of it, but she didn't actively study every single chapter. I contacted the publisher to access online student resources and teacher's manual. So grateful to have found it! Maybe someone else will find it a good fit as well.

My safety first, your feelings second. I have no idea of the details and nuances of the OP's situation. I don't know exactly what anyone's intentions or feelings were. I don't know what would have been precisely the right thing to do. This response is speaking more to generalities in the thread. People on both ends of the spectrum - advanced and delayed - have been victims of hurt feelings and both verbal and physical abuse. Obviously not all those things happened here, but they do happen. In real life situations young girls, and women in general, sometimes error too often on being nice. I'm not saying anything "not nice" needed to be said in this situation. Most likely not, but I can absolutely imagine a similar situation where rude would have been appropriate. The trick is doing so wisely. I think this is what we need to teach our children - especially our girls. Although they should usually start by playing nicely, they don't always need to continue to do so. We need to teach them how to be assertive, but not aggressive. Next we need to teach them how to be aggressive when needed. Then they need to know how to make the first strike because sometimes that's the leverage one needs to get a split-second chance to run away. I don't view having enemies as a bad thing. Not everyone needs to be my friend. I don't view being rude as necessarily a bad thing. My safety first, your feelings second. Internalizing the notion of being nice no matter what can be dangerous. Too many victims look back and say, "But I didn't want to be RUDE!" YMMV.

Only you can answer that. We decided to start the AP journey this year as a continuation and expansion of the pursuit of truth, beauty, and goodness in our homeschool.

I'm glad it worked for you. I know people who transferred out of Ivy League schools not for academic reasons, but because they didn't like the location or something else. Academics are a big part of the puzzle, but not the only piece. Experiences vary. I know some who regret the choice to go to school far away from home. Proximity matters immensely to some families - they enjoy sharing time together throughout various stages of their lives. Perhaps for your family it's different. I also know families who limit distance to school because of medical issues. There is no one right way to do this. There are many variables at play.

He should probably be prepared for either possibility. DD was immediately ushered away after signing in. I thought we would have time to chat a bit, but she was told to step across a line and go directly to her room. (They did permit a quick goodbye as long as she didn't step away. The next year we knew what to expect from this test site.)

No need for apologies! We all come to the conversations with different ways of communicating. The important thing is finding common ground eventually.

Maybe we mean different things by uprooting. No, I didn't think you were moving to Australia. He would be moving, though. Also, even though the family wouldn't actually be uprooting, the ANU option would be considerably more disruptive to your lives. (Which you obviously are already considering. ;) ) Part of my point was that she stayed and got her education, even though it was less than ideal. Maybe she had no option. She made the best of the option she had. 10 years from now will it make any difference for her either way? Does it matter now?

Being a returning student of 40 probably makes her perspective different all around, doesn't it? It is interesting that it wasn't worth uprooting the family. I think that speaks volumes. There would be uprooting in your situation, correct? (Obviously not to the same degree, but still worth considering...)

dp

Changing the verbiage from peers to level of classes makes a bit of a difference in my mind. Thanks for clarifying. Believe it or not, your situation doesn't sound all that different than the one we are facing. (Albeit the colleges are not in different countries - that is a huge difference!) (edited) Do we want to spend the $$$ for her to go to a college where challenge is guaranteed, or would she be better off where the situation is different. So much depends on the personality of the student. We have talked over and over about percentages of students at various levels at different universities. I do understand. It's on my mind almost daily. Our situation is a bit different in that her interests are somewhat unique and not universally offered. In some ways I'm grateful, it makes the decision easier! I think being 80% certain before a visit is a good benchmark.

Something just occurred to me...your sister must have been reasonably happy in the situation, correct? If not, what kept her there? Why didn't she transfer to a more elite school? Was it not an option?

I'm still not sure how you can make that decision without more information, which might come with a visit. Are you afraid to get his hopes up and then crushed if the visit isn't what you had hoped? Is it the hassle and expense? I would think a visit would be much cheaper in both time and money than finding out after the fact. We faced a similar scenario recently, so I know the trickiness of trying to decide how sure you need to be before taking a big step (which in your case is the visit.) Even with your clarification, I think a visit is the way to go. I guess what I still don't understand is why the visit is such a big deal. Is it the expense and/or the hassle of traveling to another country? Given what you are considering, a visit seems perfectly reasonable. Is the problem getting his hopes up? Call me cynical, but I imagine the kind of students your sister describes (there for the fun ride) can likely be found at every university, as can students who are diligent and driven. Yes, the percentages will most likely be different, which goes back to a previous question. How peer driven is your son? Does he need to be surrounded by a high percentage of the type of student you are hoping to find?

I agree if the student is paying all the bills. When the parent is paying and the price difference is significant, there is no choice but that the parent be involved. It seems part of OP's struggle is deciding if the extra money is worth it. ETA: This may come down to how a household functions as well. Some families discuss everything. Some don't. Discussing and making the final decision are two different things. The title of the thread and reality are also two different things. I wouldn't take the title literally.