My kids love to call me "Mother" and I love it (they do realise its not normal and do it for fun). I think its all the old fashioned books we have read.

I will never admit any words that bother me because my dh would be sure to use them as frequently as possible. Around here, toilet humour is considered the highest form of humour. Farting is comedy. My dh is dyslexic and often messes up the beautiful English language by saying words back to front. But if I correct him- and I just can't help it sometimes- he will be sure to do it on purpose next time :) I think he was put on the earth to humble me :)

Most homeschoolers where I live are Christian, and many are fundamentalist. We are not either. When a co-op situation we joined and were enjoying for a couple of years allowed a group of several women in who would pray in the kitchen and continually talk about their religion in regards to everything....I left the group with my kids, because it had become too extreme for us. We stopped socialising with a lot of homeschoolers- even though we are still friends with many, including many Christians, and the kids organise specific play dates and go to each others' birthday parties. And we do go to a homeschool science class run by a Christian man, but he tries- sometimes not very successfully- to keep religion out of it. Scouts has been our saviour in terms of socialising- as well as a group of boys in our street for ds. Dd15 is very involved and socialises with a small group of homeschooling girls she has been friends with for years- 2 of whom are also in her Scout group- as well as Scouts from all over our city that she has met at various camps and activities. Scouts here is for both boys and girls together, and she is in the 14-17 year old section called Venturers. She sails a lot because they are a water group- we live near a large river. I woulndt like to let go of our homeschooling connections altogether- we have some good ones and the girls are all really lovely- but it has been a relief to let go of dependency on organised homeschooling groups that are dominated by people we would not associate with normally.

There are starches and there are starches. Wholegrains are starches but contain plenty of nutrition- brown rice and wholemeal bread are filling and nutritious. Potatoes with their skins on are also filling and nutritious. White flour and white sugar are also starches (well, starch breaks down to sugar quickly the more it is processed and stripped of its fibre) but they will seriously compromise your health. Filling teens with cheap white flour products can set them up for a wheat sensitivity, also. It's good to rotate your starches so as not to rely too much on any one type. In fact, its always good to eat a wide range of foods. I think many cultures have a foundation of starch based food for most meals- it is the extra things that are added, however, that make the difference. Many Asian countries, if not most, eat rice at virtually every meal as the main part of the meal. Perhaps in the U.S. people are used to basing a meal around the meat. In many countries, meat is used much more sparingly, and the meal is based more around the starch. I don't think it's a bad idea completely- but educating yourself about nutrition is important too. It's true that cheap food is often unhealthy nad highly processed food, and the cost in the long run is not worth it- but there are ways to eat healthily and cheaply. Eating unprocessed, real foods is important.

Kind of easter egg thick and no, the pod inside rattles inside the chocolate shell. It is not embedded.

Well it took reading a few pages of this thread for me to be convinced it was a safety issue rather than a possible drug issue. I figured the kinder surprises would make perfect vehicles for drugs. I have wonderful memories of bribing my brand new to homeschooling 7 year old with a kinder surprise, if he just did a few pages of maths and English for me. He was soooo disturbed and upset by his years in school, and I was so new to homeschooling, that it was not easy to get him to do anything at all. A walk to the local corner store for a kinder surprise did wonders for his morale though.

I think the way to give yourself permission to set healthy boundaries is to realise you are worth just as much as everyone else you care about. Caring about others can come from a sense of self worth or self worthlessness- that we are somehow less than everyone else and we need their approval to get our self worth. I learned to set healthy boundaries and stop being a dorrmat when I healed my own sense of worth. And if you look at it, caring for yourself properly and with as much love as you have for others, is of far more benefit to the people you care about, than being a doormat. For me, it also helped me to get in touch with my anger and rage at being treated poorly- it helped me to find my power to stay no, or to draw a line, or to speak bluntly. I think we were created with a wide range of possible emotional responses for a good reason, and being stuck in "nice" limits us a lot. I always appreciated people who were real rather than always nice, and aspire to that myself. Sometimes it can be the kindest thing to speak your truth, to speak up, to create a boundary- not only kind to yourself but also kind to a person who needs to have a boundary set for them. I am just thinking you might need to change your thinking around it all, and recognise that kindness can have many faces.

Mine is- please don't create unecessary work for others and Treat others how you would like to be treated. The first covers a whole range of behaviours around making a mess, leaving dirty dishes etc. The 2nd covers pretty much everything else :)

Oh man, I always get so jealous when people say stuff like that! My kids never do those sorts of things! However I will overcome my child- envy to congratulate you on having a wonderful young learner there. :001_smile:

Mine is strong but 13 years older than me and has different interests- not interested in exercise or eating well much at all. We both have health issues at times though. Dh and I are very different people. I have learned to stop trying to change him or wish he were different, make the best of the things we do have in common, which is enough, and make a life for myself that isn't dependent on him for all my happiness. I have other friends, I exercise alone with my ipod, I eat healthy no matter he doesn't like it. Ultimately we are all responsible for ourselves- no point being a victim to a dh with different ideas or a different body type...just get on with your own life, shine and let him notice that you take care of yourself and it makes you happy. Its a very attractive quality :)

That's what I was going to say- I come here !! My computer is in the same room as the kids' computers and the TV, so I can blob out while in the same room as them whiel they watch TV or play ion their computers. It sorta counts as family bonding.:) We still communicate a bit. :) Other than that I curl up in bed with a good book.

Sometimes people here go to Bali or Thailand for major dental work. I have been told I need some crowns at considerable cost, and the truth is I am just not willing to pay that sort of money for teeth that aren't bothering me. The cost of dentistry is just ridiculous. I suspect you won't be the only one with missing teeth. And, it is possible to heal cavities often without fillings by just using really good dental hygeine and diet. Look into some alternative dental websites on the internet. I have also heard many cases of people going to one dentist, receiving one prognosis, then going to another and receiving another.

I tend to agree. I can see that sort of behaviour just being a showoffy type thing they pick up from an older sibling or other kids at school....it doesnt necessarily mean the kid is perverted or in other ways innapropriate "to the core" so to speak. And the mum may not know. Not to excuse the behaviour- I would be shocked too - and nowadays i tend to treat any child under my care with a stern sort of love in necessary, and I would walk over and talk to the kid in that situation. I guess I have had to compromise a lot as my kids got older. Even homeschooled kids can have behaviours I would rather they wouldn't share with my kids, particularly as they go through puberty and develop "attitudes" and have learned to behave differently around their parents to with their peers. And my dd15 is friends with many kids who drink nowadays, even though she doesn't. Not my ideal, but this is part of the whole "socialisation" journey- at least they are not immersed in it 6-8 hours a day, and there is plenty of time for discussion of values and just plain common sense at home. I have noticed some homeschooled kids stay quite sweet and innocent all through their teens- at least they appear that way to me. But I do wonder if they will rebel or react just a little later, or if they have the ability to mix widely and stay true to themselves, or if they are just protected from all negative influences and end up afraid of "the world" (I have some people in mind). My kids mix widely and do pick up attitudes and behaviours that are not always wonderful- and I have protected them and limited contacts at times- one in particular for my son. But overall, in order to have friends, we have compromised.

I think its worth considering allergies even if you dont have any....because so many kids have allergies nowadays- it is an epidemic. I kept cows' dairy, wheat and sugar from my kids for quite a while. I think if a baby can handle it, waiting till 6 months is also good- again, because of allergies. An immature digestive system is more likely to react. A friend of mine with a baby has fed him organic avocado as his first food, and then various fruits. Not "baby foods" as such, but he sucks on fresh nectarines and pineapple and its sooooo cute to watch his face as he responds to different foods.

Plan your meals or at least make sure you have plenty of appropriate foods in the house that you can reach for at a moment's notice when you are craving. Thats the key for me with any diet approach- to be prepared for the times I feel desperate! Making sure I have several breakfast alternatives planned, and then lunches and dinners- making sure I go shopping enough to have fresh foods in the house- are key for me. Fresh raw nuts are important for me. Also, when you slip- don't give yourself a hard time- just go back to it as soon as you can. Dont try and make up for it by eating just lettuce. Just eat healthily. I have been pretty much sugar free since two Septembers ago. It hasnt seemed hard. Nowadays I have no attraction at all to cakes, biscuits, candy bars etc. I eat very little processed foods at all. I will make my own sweet treats at times, usually what I call "bliss balls" which are a mixture of dried fruits and nuts- with perhaps some honey or agave syrup in them- but often as not they sit there any no one eats them, even me! Too sweet! And I have been making my own raw chocolate lately with agave syrup- for the kids of course :)- and it is actually healthy and fairly unporocessed, with raw ingredients- so I am not strictly sweet free. But I do feel great not to be binging on all the processed sugary foods out there.

Lol, I think it's just personality. Both my kids are "out there" socially and dd15 is on 3 Scout committees (she is in Venturers now) and has been chairman of her group the last 6 months....no one would call her quiet and she is often asked to do things. It's just her personality, and she also volunteers for a lot- the adults can rely on her, she is well organised and responsible and relates well to adults. When she first joined Scouts, at age 10.5, she was the only girl and she didn't care at all! (Scouts is for both sexes here) Ds14 is much less a leader type personality than his sister, and his adult leaders want him to be a Patrol Leader and he actually doesnt want the responsibility and is happy to stay an assistant! But he is certainly not quiet- he has been in plenty of trouble and been a rather mischevious influence on other Scouts- he is out there in a different way to his sister (be careful what you wish for- extroverted kids who get chosen for things can definitely be intense to live with!). I am fairly introverted but their dad is a way out there extrovert so while both can handle their own company, both have strong social tendencies- but I do feel it is their personalities.

Um, we play on our individual computers. But, when we dont, we go for an evening walk, sometimes go for a drive along the beaches just for the sake of it, read, ocasionally play games but not often (although dd15 would love to), clean up, and generally do our own things. I guess we dont do a lot of things together in the evenings apart from watching a TV series together. And once a week or so go out as a family somewhere. Mostly, we just enjoy our time alone- all of us. During the day, we see plenty of each other, but then, dh works most evenings and is home a lot during the day.

I think it is a valid concern, but not for young boys- more when they get older. My 14yo boy is definitely ready to be out from under my wing all day. I just organised some physical work for him so that he can go and be a "man" in a friend's business some hours each week. He is not an academic kid and is itching to do something more relevent to him than sitting following my instructions. I don't think its a concern for younger kids, though. I am so glad I have had my son close to me all these years- not just because I love him, but because I feel it has been good for him to be close to me. His dad thinks so too. Someone once told me that in our culture men feel they need to get tough, but in Europe, its ok for men to be soft and emotional. Its more a cultural thing- in other words, its not inherently a bad influence for a son to be close to his mother.

Oh my goodness- your oldest is 7? You will get the strength you need by living one day at a time! I cant help- I have 2. But I am often envious of big families!

Jealousy is not always rational and can't always be overrode with common sense. However, I do feel its worth allowing a partner freedom rather than over controlling them ....but at the same time, it's worth discussing it and expressing how you feel and keeping the issue somewhat in the open- even with a sense of humour at your own irrational feelings. DH has women friends and I have male friends- I still get jealous of his female friends at times, but I don't try and stop him having them because I don't want to give up my male friends! I dont think there are any rules about these things and we all have to find our own way.

You could use rice, organic soy or oat milk instead of cows milk. You can use various juices (apple, pear, grape, mango) blended with various fruits (bananas, any berries, mangoes, apples, pears etc) as you have been doing- just not citrus. You can soak dried fruits and nuts overnight and add them. You can use protein powders that are not whey based. You can freeze fruits when they are in season and cheap, and use them. I make my own almond milk and add raw chocolate powder (which is very healthy and high in nutrients) and a touch of agave syrup, and a banana, for a very filling and healthy kind of decadent smoothie when I want a treat.

No, not a reaction to Vitamin C- but oranges and citrus are a common allergen, particularly with the itchy red rash around the mouth that you mention. For my dd it is that, and exzema around her eyes with oranges. Not unusual at all. If she stays away from oranges generally speaking, she can handle a bit of lemon or mandarin or orange ocasionally without a reaction, but a few days in a row would get her skin reactions again. I would keep up the healthy smoothies, but stay away from citrus for the one with the sensitivity. Many are also sensitive to strawberries but if you just cut out the citrus and keep in the berries, you will soon see. Stay away from dairy too- all of it- if they have ear infections.

I would say it has been hard on our marriage at times. When the kids were at school we would often go out to movies and lunch together- when I wasnt at my part time job. Dh's job gives him a lot of spare hours during the daytime and I have felt the need to "train" dh so to speak, that homeschooling is my full time job and I can't just go out during the day at his whim. It's been a bit hard on him at times- for me, the sacrifice is worth it. And, ultimately, for him too- he wants me to homechool. Two weeks ago we went on a sort of 2nd honeymoon to Bali for 4 days without our kids. It was the first time we had had a holiday without the kids since they were born. We had such a beautiful time and as our kids are now teens we are really feeling the joy of being able to spend more time together since the kids are so often out with friends or doing their own thing. Perhaps for families where the husband works long hours, it doesnt make a lot of difference. For ours, where we both have enjoyed a good lifestyle and plenty of free time, it has made an impact that could be called negative- but its been worth it and neither of us would want it any other way. And, it will pass. The other thing is- we were actually living separately when I started homeschooling. It actually did bring us back together, because he wanted to support me with it. So in that way, it was goodfor our marriage. One of my vows about parenting is that I have always wanted to have no regrets. I had heard so many mothers say they had regrets about parenting. I feel I have parented the best way I know how, starting with long term breastfeeding and attachment parenting and ending up homeschooling. I actually have no regrets- at this stage, anyway- but it has involved a certain totality that has pushed dh aside many times. Fortunately, overall, he has handled it with a lot of patience and understanding - he is really a high maintenance kind of dh, loves lots of attention from me- but he is also a generous spirit and has managed well.

I think its very difficult to compare because our culture has changed so much, so rapidly, in such a short time, that we are really bringing up kids in a very different world to what our parents and grandparents did. They coudl rely on the values they were brought up with to parent to some extent- they could roll on fairly unconsciously....we have to start from scratch in many ways and be much more conscious. The old paradigms don't work so well any more. Many of us think very deeply about how we parent and are really trying to give our utmost best to the job. I don't think past generations did that so much- they may have parented well or not so well, but it wasn't so conscious. There are a lot of unconscious masses who dont parent well...but I think there is also a huge wave of people who parent in many varying ways, with different approaches- but who are really doing their best to parent with a fresh vision and with the most love and intelligence they can muster. I am not sure any of us can really say for sure what is the ultimate best parenting method or approach but we are really trying hard and are willing to go against the status quo, to stand out and be different, to stand by what we feel is the best thing for our kids even if our neighbours and parents and others judge us negatively for doing so. Times have changed. I think they are getting better, personally.

I was parented fairly well up to my teens, but then it all fell apart. And, my English father was not affectionate at all during my childhood so when I say I was fairly well parented- I wasn't abused, there were lots of good things- but I dont think I was touched affectionately or hugged from when I was quite small, and that did have a large impact on me. I had a classically absent, emotionally cold and workaholic father. The way I changed was by spending years away form my parents' influence from age 16 onwards, and by doing a fair amount of soul searching and therapy. I consciously learned to hug people and taught myself to dance- these didn't come naturally to me at all and I'm still self conscious about them. I read a great book years ago by Thomas More once called Care of the Soul and in there it talked about our childhood being the "manure" from which we grow. I like that idea. My dad is visiting me at the moment for a week- we haven't spent much time together since I was a kid, and then not much either, so a week is a lot!- and a couple of times it has come up that I left home rather early and a lot of trauma happened in my teens. My response to him now is....it has made me who I am now. It made me strong. It made me go places and do things I might not otherwise have done. My life has been rich and interesting. I wouldn't change a thing. If my parents had stayed together, if I had been emotionally supported- I may have ended up with a teaching career and a "normal" life- and I am so glad it didnt turn out that way. But..I have been willing to look at myself, do the inner work and grow a lot. I have a tendency to be a bit like my dad, but not really with my kids- more with dh. My kids healed me with their love and affection, and they were and are a huge motivation to keep being willing to feel and heal and grow, rather than defend and shut down.