Saw a documentary about a custom guitar made for one of these guys. They seem so genuine and all about family. Is that true? They really impressed me. Barb

Um, hello? Do we have a story to go along with that little tidbit? Barb

Went to High School with Steve Conrad (wrote The Pursuit of Happyness, the Weatherman, and Wrestling Ernest Hemingway) and dated his older brother for a year or so. I secretly had a huge crush on Steve, however, and so did my best friend. He was into sports and was actually pretty quiet. He and his friends used to annoy old people in the mall (there were plenty of them in S. Fl.) Not known for being fabulous in Writing or English at the time. It's so funny to sit there and watch him talk on the special features section of the DVD and think, "hey, I remember that happening!" I don't know Bruce Springsteen, but a family we were really close to back in FL are cousins. They get to go back stage and stuff. Bruce looks like a Frevola, especially when he was younger. You know you're getting old when you've lived long enough to see someone random on TV and say, "hey, I went to school with him/her!" Really impresses the kids :D Barb

When they read aloud, are they fluent? Do they skip or substitute words or pause in the wrong places? Their eyes may not be strong enough for the smaller print. At that age, I like to find picture books written at a high level. Since these are meant to be read by the parents, the text is often more challenging than chapter books are. But a picture book can be read in a sitting, which gives the child a sense of accomplishment. Also, check for eye issues. One of my kids was a good reader at that age, but hated to read chapter books. Turned out she needed glasses, but we didn't catch it until she was ten. Barb

For this reason: dorms don't seem to be the issue. Violence, when it happens, seems to take place in the most public places. Sadly, those instances really aren't preventable and are a case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. As far as more personal, one-on-one violence, the colleges seem to go out of their way to prevent that at all the schools we've visited. At any rate, dorms are a lot safer than an apartment building. I can understand why you'd be really jumpy given your experience. I think I would be too in the same situation. Barb

Thanks for the rec. I was just telling my husband we needed to branch out from bowling and tennis. Sounds like this will fill the bill. Barb

I agree, Doran. I think you're on the right track. My accountant husband would say you've done an accurate cost-benefit analysis. Or something. Hope everyone is feeling better soon. Barb

Wonderful news! Please post updates when you hear. Barb

Yeah, I have to agree here. People who are very linear (as soon as we do this, then we'll do the next thing) sometimes find it hard to understand those who are more uneven. When my oldest was 13, she did nothing. Well, she played with sculpey for 3-4 hours a day and read a lot, but that was about it. I nagged and cajoled and then I gave up for about six months. She never really did what amounted to 8th grade or an official Freshman year of high school but jumped into upper level material. She never did American History or Science of any sort at home. But when she was 14, she took a 300 level course in German Civilization at the local university and scored an A-. She once went 18 months with no math at all, but is now taking Calc III as a senior in high school. I don't know what she was doing in those months of sculpting, but it seems to be something akin to cocooning. It may have looked like educational neglect (and if you had read any of her essays, you would have worried about her academic future), but it all came together in the end. I'm proud to say she just got word she's a National Merit Scholar, so we did what was right for her. My neighbor's 8th grade daughter insists there are only 49 states because Canada used to be a state, but is its own country now. My daughter's best friend was doing Algebra 2 in 11th grade, except that it wasn't Algebra II as in College Algebra, but Algebra 2 as in the 2nd half of Algebra I. It is possible to get a fantastic education or a horrid one in any setting. I think it's wrong to assume homeschoolers are receiving a better education across the board, but I think it's also a mistake to assume they are doing poorly simply because their learning isn't necessarily linear and incremental. Barb

Abbey, that's so strange because my 6yo has the same rash that I was attributing to exzema. She has the same icky virus symptoms you do, so it's either coincidence or possibly a symptom of whatever this is. I feel your pain. We have been sick with one thing or another since Christmas. Isn't this a particularly bad year for this sort of thing? Barb

That's wonderful news Jeanne! Please keep us posted as things develop. Barb

Those are excellent scores, even for a Junior/Senior, and I would caution you to avoid trying to better them this year. Let him rest on his laurels for the time being and look at them as baseline scores. There is a possibility they could go down....let's face it, it's a really long test and many factors can go into how well a student does. He may have an off day and then wonder if the first scores are a fluke. If he takes them too many times before they "count" he will be so sick of them that he will live in dread of them by senior year. Let him be and enjoy the achievement (yours and his). Barb

I agree. I often remind people that these children are back in school because for whatever reason, homeschooling wasn't working. You don't see the overwhelming majority of homeschoolers who are making a successful go. Many homeschooled children were elementary school dropouts 1-2 years behind grade level who have gone on to blossom when freed from the system. It goes both ways. Barb

HA! My, how times change. Barb

Hi Everyone! We moved to Buckeye (far West Valley) last May. How 'bout those green mountains? It looks like they're growing moss. Barb

Wow. Thanks for that thought. It will really help as I'm having a tough time with the sheer-force-of-will thing. Barb

Thank you for saying so, Heather. Too bad the philosophy formed too late to stave off a really bad situation with my oldest dd about 2 years ago, but live and learn. She was always such a 'good girl' so I was so shocked to learn she was sneaking around to see this kid I'd grounded her from. He was a doofus and I don't know what she saw in him, but we all have one of those in our past, LOL. Thank goodness she came out of it relatively unharmed and we both learned a lot in the process. I'm happy to hear the guy in question in Doran's situation seems respectful. Our guy was manipulative and unwilling to respect our (or even her) boundaries, and I was shocked to see how our strong daughter was easily led when faced with this kind of person. Made me realize even the strong ones need more support than we may realize. Barb

Doran, I've been interested in all the comments, but especially the cultural points made above. My own 13yo dd had a similar situation here and the cultural difference never crossed my mind. My oldest daughter is a knockout-gorgeous 17yo who has been forced to deal with (often unwanted) male attention since she was 12. Conversely, her next youngest sister has grown up sort of in her shadow, not realizing how lovely she is herself. She is also quite tiny and until recently looked a year or two younger than she actually is. So when the 17yo (very good-looking) Mexican boy across the street started coming over to chat whenever he saw Jenna reading on the porch, we were all blindsided by the attention he was showing her. We weren't really sure how to handle it. My first reaction was, "keep that child indoors!" and her older sister was ready to threaten the young man with bodily harm. Jenna insisted he was just friendly :p She is still pretty naive. I never considered the cultural angle. Maybe I should have since my husband's family is from South America, but he was born in the states and is very American in his outlook. Luckily the young man in question moved away before things got out of hand, but I wasn't prepared at all so I understand how easy it can be to find yourself unexpectedly mired in a situation. That said, you asked for advice. Doran, do you realize that if you don't discourage the relationship, a relationship is what you're going to have to deal with? I don't mean that in a judgemental way, but as a way to look at this thing with a realistic eye. Take this to its logical conclusion. They obviously have feelings for one another, so it's no longer a question of whether they will date or develop a romance because it has already happened. I think the next step is to move out of the "how do I keep them friends" phase and move into the "how do I manage this romance so no one is too hurt" phase. I like the idea of pulling him into the family, allowing them to see one another but only in the context of the family. Also, I'd cut out the email...it's easier to say things in writing you'd never say in person. House phone only...no cell phone. Explain to your daughter it's not a matter of trusting her, but of protecting her. Feelings this large are difficult to manage even as an adult, so you will provide scaffolding to support her while she's learning to handle them. Barb

Yes, but that is an overall statistic, factoring in the most dangerous schools in the most dangerous neighborhoods. The statistic wouldn't bear out if they looked at an individual school. Barb

Oh Pam, how about Chocolate Chip Cookies?? Sending virtual hugs. Barb

Although tragic for the individual families involved, the chances of any individual being involved in a school shooting is almost non-existent. Think of it like herd immunity. You have to do what feels right for you, but I don't think it's worth changing plans over. Barb

I agree with the others on the SID. My oldest daughter suffers from the same sensitivities, so we've always encouraged her to take breaks when things are too overwhelming. We would cover for her at parties by saying she had a headache and needed time for the pain killer to kick in. People who don't have experience with this sort of thing can't really understand how it affects the child. It's a physical pain coupled with mental anguish. The good news is, we've never had her formally evaluated....just didn't want to go through all that... and she has largely outgrown the worst of it. Homeschooling is the best possible intervention because it gives them time to mature without always being at the mercy of their sensitivities. Meghan has inched out into the world a little at a time, taking classes at the college, working at a busy restaurant, going to concerts...that sort of thing. She is still sensitive, but it's manageable now. Acknowledging it and working with it was the best course of action for us. Barb

Probably not a boy vs girl thing...more like a temperament thing. 5 girls here and only one meticulous colorer (is that a word?). Until Mia came along, I never understood all those coloring assignments in TWTM. I thought all kids loathed coloring :) Have you ever done any dabbling with Myers/Briggs personality typing? Here's a really cool questionnaire geared toward kids. It's a lot of fun to gain insight on what makes them tick: http://www.personalitypage.com/cgi-local/build_pqk.cgi Barb

Interesting stats, Doran. I'd also like to add that although in sheer numbers, crimes seemed to have increased, the population has increased at a faster rate. So although there may seem to be an increase in crime over a certain period, the chance of being victimized by crime is lower because a smaller percentage of the population is affected. Another thing that contributes to our perception of crime stats is our need to control everything nowdays. 40 or 50 years ago I think parents accepted a certain amount of risk that goes along with raising children. For better or worse, they didn't worry about abductions, car accidents, broken arms, etc because these things were just not on the radar. Now we are quicker to blame or to take the blame when things like bumps and bruises, birth accidents, fires, etc happen. Rather than seeing things as bad luck, we feel the need to control everything and want to have someone to blame (even ourselves) when things go wrong. No amount of risk is seen as acceptable any longer. So when someone allows their child to climb a tree or ride around the neighborhood alone, they can be charged with neglect when an accident happens. I think there are a lot of crimes that are reported on today that weren't even convicted years ago. Spousal or child abuse was considered a family issue. Sexual abuse of children was very often not caught because no one believed the children. Nowdays the pendulum has swung far (sometimes too far) in teh other direction where a whiff friendliness can be misconstrued. Lastly, if you look at old newspapers, there were some pretty horrific crimes commited on a regular basis. But the horrific crime that was commited in Kansas generally wasn't reported on in Tennessee. Now we hear about everything that happens everywhere...usually in a breathless report filled with sensationalistic adjectives. That coupled with the fact that younger and younger children seem to be involved in the crimes committed (which is worth its own discussion) contributes to the perception that our world is becoming coarser. Barb

Head to the library or borrow someone's computer? As a last resort, purchase Microsoft Office and install in on your computer. Your instincts are correct; a handwritten transcript isn't professional and wouldn't be well received. I think a printed transcript is a non-negotiable. Barb