Birthmom had custody until DH finally was able to convince the court, she was 11 months then. DSS15 was horribly abused but of course no one knows much about DSD12 because she was so little. She has never seem to care about anyone in her life who leaves or moves besides DH. She finally is getting somewhat attached to me. She cried when I left for a few day trip, not sure if it was because I was leaving or she wasn't going lol but I choose to think because I was leaving. We have figured out some triggers. For instance DS11 has an autoimmune disease and horrible asthma. He has been hospitalized multiple times since birth and gets a lot of attention regarding meds, dr apts, lab work, etc (none of it good attention mind you, who really wants 9 vials of blood taken when you have a phobia of needles lol but she doesn't see that.) For a long time she tried to hurt him and said she hated him because he was ugly. We seem to have worked mostly through that one. We didn't allow her to be anywhere near him for two years and she finally just decided to be nice to him randomly one day. Another big trigger is schoolwork, she has a very low IQ, no abstract thinking or retention of information. I have come up with accommodations and it seems to slowly be helping. Most of the time I have no idea what is going on in her head. Any advice I would love! We have gone to multiple therapists who just keep throwing up their hands and saying we have tried everything they would recommend. I am finally to the point where we can't afford to do it anymore if we want to keep DS11 alive with all of his meds. I have basically just researched as much as I have time for and try what seems to work for us. I keep her with me most of the day and encourage her a lot. If I completely ignore any stealing, rudeness or aggressive behavior and don't call her out on anything then she and I can have a great day! Just not the other kids :lol:

Hits: Everything dinosaur for DS11 The $1 dice in different colors we got on our trip to Vegas. Everyone now has 6 of their own color so I can tell who left theirs out :tongue_smilie: I got tired of it being no one. They have been playing Greedy with the dice for hours. (And yes each of my kids has a "color" that I buy plates, etc in :tongue_smilie:) The Smithsonian Animal Encyclopedia they had at Costco! LOVE it! Thank you Uncle! Misses: Somehow when I ordered my DS11's jeans from Gap I didn't get a slim but a husky so now he can't wear them and I have to find time to take them back.

I totally understand! My son is allergic to milk and his sister to peanuts. People just do. not. get. it. Even when they should, like they have visited us in the hospital. It doesn't seem to click. "Oh you mean I shouldn't use the same knife for the jelly that I used for peanut butter a second ago?" *sigh* :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

That is so great! We are in the same boat with the sabotaging. Sometimes I feel like just pretending it isn't my birthday and hoping no one will look at the calendar so I can have a peaceful day LOL

I'm not sure. She has FAS too and really just does not seem to understand or even remember why she does things. It really seems like any special day is a day for her to make things all about her, usually by extreme misbehavior. It did seem to start just when we decorated though. I think I will see if I can bring this up gently and if she has any thoughts on this. Thank you for bringing this up! Any ideas I am willing to try lol.

:grouphug: That is so cool! :grouphug:

There was some stealing/sneaking that happened but only Christmas Eve! I always expect some when anyone has something not exactly like what she has. For the most part it went pretty well! She seemed to like her presents and participated nicely most of the time during opening presents. I really do think it helped that we moved 800 miles from everyone we know so we had no Christmas parties, no church programs/parties and don't have any crazy, excited, sugar-high daycare kids right now lol. (Another positive- I didn't have to deal with all the questions about why she couldn't go somewhere, participate in something, or had to be right with me to supervise.) It was just us and I was able to spend a lot more time baking and doing projects with the kids because of the move and downplayed schedule. Her behavior always escalates in December, and it did, but Christmas itself was a success in my opinion. Praying that the step down from excitement is handled just as well this week :001_smile:

Go do it :) And come back and tell us right away!

:iagree: This is what we were taught in our classes also.

:iagree::iagree: Yes we have one RAD and one mildly RAD plus FAS, ODD etc. That kind of thing freaks me out. Add to that different cultures. My husband's family is black and they routinely say things like, "I'm gonna whip you" or You better go to your room before I beat you" etc etc. None of the kids in their families even flinch, to them it just means I'm mad and you need to stop misbehaving. Honestly, some of the things my husband's family says makes me uncomfortable but I have to take their culture into account and it obviously means nothing to them. It isn't really a threat to violence because there is no intent. My family said things like "You're cruising for a bruising" or "Do you need me to smack your mouth?" I have never thought of any of it as abuse or anything close to it, or honestly even inappropriate. However we were spanked and I don't consider that abuse either so you have to take my opinion with a grain of salt if you do. I am a mandatory reporter and in all of the classes I have taken your DH's comment is no where close to the reportable list we were given. I would stay away from your sister. That is too crazy that she would be willing to even think of jeopardizing your family (in her opinion).

I posted a pic on the other thread but since I like the pic I will do it again. I can't post our actual card because it has our full names and other info :)

It annoys me too. It makes me feel like they think we are too stupid to dress our children. I understand why they do it though. We have had some pretty inappropriate costumes/outfits at church harvest parties and holiday parties but it is usually children who are visiting and nothing is said to them. Usually everyone is in their best Christmas outfits for a Christmas program/show however. Some people are just on power trips I think and can't come up with any better instructions. Before my mom's funeral we had a breakfast and my aunt took that time to lecture my brother and I (24 and 23 years old) on how we should wear modest clothing and not show any skin.

I'm 5'8" and was skinny as a child. Have you tried Gap or the Gap outlet? They make jeans and other clothes in a tall. I still buy most of my clothes there.

Thank you! I didn't do it lol the photographer was awesome! I loved every pose, I ended up just buying the cd with all of the negatives because I couldn't choose

They didn't all go on rather than just trying to see if they are too big and resizing I will just do another post :tongue_smilie: Okay we had more on the card but it is taking so long to upload I will just do this family one. :)

I hope I made it work, let's see

I read that yesterday! So cool.

I am on that same combo. I have been since 15 years old and I am 29 now. Obviously for me it works lol. It has been too long to tell you much about the adjustment period but I know there was one and I remember feeling "cracked out" for a short period of time.

:iagree: My kids & I go through 6 gallons of whole milk a week and that is when we don't have any daycare children. Add in my son's rice milk which is $6/gal for the only brand he will drink plus his special butter, bread, BBQ sauce etc. My husband is diabetic so he eats very few carbs and a lot of meat and fresh produce. (His sugar level does not do well with beans of course.) Compared to Oregon where we have always lived until this year, produce here in Utah is very expensive! That all being said I have a food budget of $400. If I had the money to feed my family how I would like to I think it would be closer to $700/month. I make a lot of muffins for snacks and make pizza dough for lunch once a week. We eat a lot of oatmeal and cracked wheat for breakfast, they are very cheap in bulk. I go shopping at the beginning of the month and after that I only buy milk. I freeze the bread after the one shopping trip and we eat fresh produce until it is gone, after that it is canned/frozen. We don't buy any snacks or convenience foods at all. I literally do not have money to go shopping again so whatever we run out of, we are out of. My kids know that and eat accordingly. If they eat all of something they don't get more until the next shopping trip. It is very difficult to feed my family healthfully with the amount I have though. I wish we could spend more, every now and then a box of crackers is nice! Let's just say our meat for dinner is normally chicken :tongue_smilie: ETA: Oh this is for 6 people :) and 2 daycare children during the day, of course they have to have all of the meal parts, well-balanced with no unhealthy food

My twins look like each other (they are fraternal so they don't have to lol) and my brother and I look just like each other. One of my twins looks so much like my brother that if I show people pictures of my brother at twins age they totally miss the 80s clothes and think it is my son! My whole extended family looks very similar. We always tease incoming family members by marriage that there is no chance their children will look like them!

:lol:

One of my twins is this way. Poor kid. He got it from me

Nordstrom is where we have gotten them in the past

According to this: http://www.weather.com/outlook/weather-news/news/articles/white-christmas-outlook_2011-11-17?cm_ven=PPCgoogle&cm_cat=winter&cm_pla=white_christmas&cm_ite=white_christmas It is likely we will have a white Christmas

It doesn't work on mine either :glare: I have Safari