It sounds like he is so smart he hasn't ever had to deal with natural consequences for his inflexibility. It is important that he have some idea of this before leaving home, however. Does he know what he might want to do for a career? Then you can show him how the math ties in to accomplishing that goal. Make a flowchart or something so that he has a visual backup. How is he with life skills, chores, money, cooking, etc.? In addition to tying present actions to future goals, you might consider hiring a behaviorist to develop a plan with you, with specific rewards and consequences for schoolwork and/or anything else he gives you significant trouble with. I agree that it sucks to have to punish him that way, but if he heads out into the real world with those attitudes he may not succeed no matter how intelligent he is. You only have a few more years left to work with him. Better he learns how to be flexible with you, now, than be forced into it later, when the consequences for failure are likely to be much more severe.

Whenever I think of the vision of school portrayed in Dav Pilkey's books, I feel for him vicariously. I suspect he has some awful, awful memories of ps. I agree that many books portray school idealistically, perhaps because it's intended mainly as a backdrop for the characters and also because kids don't want to read about other kids being bored every day, lol. My sons read Origami Yoda after Captain Underpants; I thought the portrayal of school in that series was fairly realistic.

I used to frequent Secular Homeschoolers, but eventually there was too much religion bashing for me to feel comfortable there, though I am agnostic. When I started homeschooling I was adamant that all my materials be secular, but over time I realized that certain religious materials worked much better for my kids, and that I didn't feel comfortable sharing that or recommending them on that forum. That's when I realized it was time to move on. I still occasionally check the homeschool reviews forum. It is mostly frequented by conservative Christian, but people are very friendly, the format is quick to navigate and their review section is extensive. For a long time now, I've spent most of my time lurking here. I love the diversity of views, the respect people show for one another, and the in-depth discussions of education. I've seen some thoughtful discussions about religion here as well.

Math: Beast Academy 4-5, Prodigy, R&S Spelling: Spelling Classroom Typing: Typing Club Grammar: R&S 4-5 Writing: IEW and/or WWE, writing across the curriculum History: SOTW 3 Science: Real Science 4 Kids MIddle School;, Chemistry, Astronomy, Physics Geography: Evan-Moor Lit: MCT Mole Trilogy + Caesar's English Art: Mark Kistler's drawing lessons

Memoria Press history and/or World History Detective/US History Detective with the lit. of your choice.

A Child's History of the World would work very well. I just looked over the chapter about the Reformation and didn't see any Catholic bashing.

My son loved the Humphrey books at this age. He also devoured Calvin & Hobbes, Captain Underpants, and the Origami Yoda series, but those last three you'd want to preread and discuss. The Humphrey series is wonderful, though.

Well, the OP's question was about what works for the INFJ as a teacher, specifically, not about how we modify things for our kids. I work with issues relating to Autism and ADHD on a regular basis, with related executive functioning and sensory issues, and have at least one "P" child, so modifying my approach to fit the child is a part of daily life around here. I also do lots of research before I choose something. That said, Lori D, I will take your word for it that you are an INFJ, but your emphasis on using a wide variety of sources, and tinkering with them all, sounds very much like a "P" approach to me. Endless tinkering with a wide variety of materials would drive me absolutely crazy.

Curricula that is organized & planned. Curricula where I can see the overall goals of the curriculum very easily and where it is also easy to tell if the child is making progress. Curricula that does not bog me down in details or complicated projects. I find a traditional vs. a classical mindset works best for me. I've resonated the most with E.D. Hirsch's ideas. CLE, Rod & Staff, & Calvert individual courses have all worked well for me. Guest Hollow Science is working because it has a planned but flexible schedule. It gets done, then we can add on extras as we wish. I've noticed and read that sometimes INFJs make choices through a more negative process than others. As a type, we are more likely to discover our preferences by figuring out what doesn't work (and trying everything in the process) then sticking with whatever is left, rather than having a super positive affinity for a particular method right off the bat.

Definitely Caddie Woodlawn. The School for Good and Evil--all three books in the trilogy revolve around the issues you mention.

We love her and recommend her without hesitation. Just an fyi, she might consider Skyping. :D

I know a psychologist in Seattle who could test for all that, but she specializes in Autism. However, her rapport with kids is amazing, so I'm going to recommend her anyway. She might be worth a call to see if she thinks she could do a good job--she would definitely say no if she thought not, but might have some referrals. Her name is Erin Milhem. I can't say enough good things about her.

An IEE is your right, but iIf you go the route of asking for one, or start to battle the school district, be prepared for it to take an enormous amount of time and emotional energy. They will want to know why/how their evaluation is not adequate, but legally, they can't say no. If you choose to do that, keep in mind that they have to take the new eval into consideration but will not be required to create an IEP based on it. Also, the IEE won't help at all unless it is accurate and complete, which means it needs to be done by someone competent to evaluate her. Because of the complexity of her issues, that person will be hard to find. Seattle Children's has a wonderful reputation and it may be worth following up with the doctor you spoke to there. My advice is to go with the best possible medical professional you can find. Please keep in mind that even if you have an accurate evaluation and an IEP with goals that address your daughter's real issues, it still does not guarantee that she will get her needs met in public school. Legally, they are only required to comply with the IEP, that is, go through the motions. They are not accountable for whether your daughter actually learns anything. And you will always have to advocate for her, always. There is a wonderful parent advocacy group in Seattle called the Arc of King County. Here is their website: http://www.arcofkingcounty.org/ Please contact them; they are outstanding at tracking down resources and have access to an enormous network of parents.

I tried WWE with both boys. They hated it. I couldn't make it work for either of them. I was a little mystified by this as it is such a gentle approach and is likely something I would have enjoyed myself when I was a child. Be that as it may, they read the stories with strained patience, got very, very frustrated/annoyed with giving narratives, repeatedly questioning why they had to do them, and also hated the copywork. The fact that the lessons were short had no bearing on their dislike. Interestingly, they both have enjoyed and learned from traditional composition instruction (R&S English). They also prefer reading and discussing entire books vs. short excerpts. This year, I started my oldest on IEW SWI-B. It was an instant hit. My son loves knowing exactly what he has to do and can work independently, so the explicit instruction and the checklists are perfect for him. Thanks to the dress-ups, he is starting to see the point of style, and the practice of rewriting paragraphs in his own words is giving him practice with organizing ideas. Having to select three key words per sentences is also teaching him to extract the main ideas from a composition, albeit differently than WWE would have. My younger son balked at IEW,A but enjoys R&S composition assignments, so we are sticking with that for now. His main issue with writing is that what he creates in his head is well ahead of what he can write down physically, so IEW is not really necessary for him right now. That said, I do think most kids could benefit from the techniques taught in IEW for nonfiction writing, even if they are gifted writers who don't "need" it. I think WWE would work too, but it strikes me as more analytical, academic, and of course, lit. based. Both my boys are exceptionally visual-spatial, practical learners. It's the only reason I can think of for why WWE bombed so badly. IMO, SWB does not give IEW enough credit in TWTM. She recommends it, but reluctantly. I put off trying it for a long time due to the price and that reluctance, and wish I had tried it sooner.

Weird. We have two Labs, and I've never seen their hair woven into anything except for their dog beds. So I was going to say short hair, hands down, because when I had a Pomeranian, the long hair stuck to everything. Do you have a roomba? I bought one after we acquired Lab #2 and it has been a huge help. Btw, I truly did not know that short-haired cats could shed that much. Is it because of the climate down there?

2 labs, 1 bunny, 1 conure and 6 chickens. We got the second lab and the chickens after our move to a house out in the country this year. I love animals but between them, homeschooling, and managing a larger property, I am thinking I have hit my limit for animals right now. I know I'm a pansy compared to some of the people on here, lol.

Calvert Spelling, CLE language arts, SOTW on audio, CHOW, and Calvert's Child's Study of Famous Americans for history. New American Handwriting for cursive. For science, BrainPop and a booklist or series like Horrible Science. Maybe check out Guest Hollow's suggestions in her science curriculum or Bookshark's.

For my boys who were underwhelmed in 3rd grade I used R&S Math and Grammar. That year I also used Calvert's A Child's Study of Famous Americans and supplemented with the Smithsonian Children's Encyclopedia of American History. It was quick and they learned quite a bit.

Evanthe, your approach would likely work well for him, but I do not want to cause problems with his brother. I am reluctant to mess with this because I've had to work very hard with oldest ds to follow directions, work step-by-step, and to persevere when things are difficult. He will notice if his brother is reading all day without doing any structured work and he will grow resentful. Elizabeth, he received a neuropsych. eval. when he was four. I should look it over again. He could probably stand to have another one. An independent list sounds great. He does already get one he is reluctant to check over. The R&S materials I use have a teaching component, but there is always enough there for him to start on his own. But he doesn't like to do this, unless it is a reading assignment. I don't know about word retrieval issues; he just doesn't like open ended writing. He wrote (dictated to me) a fabulous, complex paragraph for his first IEW assignment, then lost interest. I think the paragraphs were too simply written and the work was too repetitive. I think you have a point about the novelty-seeking aspect of ADHD and about the idea of trying to harness it. Writing Strands and Wordsmith Apprentice seems like they might be good alternatives to our current R&S Grammar/IEW combo. Thank you, Ellie and Elizabeth!!! The Homeschooling Journals by Sarah Janisse Brown look intriguing and could work. I wish the author had posted a greater number of sample pages. Thank you, Whippoorwill, for suggesting alternating "disciplined with inspirational". That worked exceptionally well this morning and I need to do it a lot more often. I understand what you are asking me. Occasionally, ds is oppositional, but 80-90% of the time, he truly is sitting there, struggling to focus enough to do the work. He gets very frustrated over his inability to compIete the work when he knows it is something he can do and is genuinely remorseful when his attention needs to be redirected over and over again. However, he does sometimes take advantage if he knows I am distracted, particularly with his brother. He does struggle with anxiety and perfectionism as well. I want to try to change things around before I ask for an increase in his medication since it suppresses his appetite enough as is and we get quite the rebound effect when it wears off in the evening. Thanks everyone!!!

Let's see. Horrible Histories is not, IMO, technically complete; I would say it's a wonderful supplement that needs a spine or some kind of big picture overview to complete it. I'll just use SOTW for the big picture stuff. It's the one he complains about the least, even if he doesn't choose it for free reading. I can combine him with his brother. I tried timing him today and it was a great motivator. Thanks for the suggestion! I used Workboxes when the kids were little and still have the materials, so that could be a possibility. I already print out individual checklists for them each day. Older DS checks off every box, younger DS only looks at it with pointed encouragement and never checks off the boxes unless I remind him. Maybe going to an actual physical box would be more effective. The last time I tried MUS he loved the manipulatives enough to constantly build with them during lessons but hated doing the problems. I don't know about TT. Maybe I should just bite the bullet and try Singapore? His conceptual understanding is high; his EF issues just seem to kill him with computation. He really struggles to memorize his facts, which dogs him when he tries to solve more complex problems. Part of this is definitely anxiety and pushing past it to even get started. Today I used the timer when he was having trouble with copywork. Just staring at the page, fidgeting, and getting worked up. As soon as I set the timer he finished quickly. I did subscribe to BrainPop this year and he ADORES it. It is one of the mainstays of Guest Hollow Jr. Anatomy. Maybe open and go math and grammar programs such as CLE would work better. I don't know. Prodigy Math for drill is only a partial solution. I looked up their reports today and realized that he'd only completed 5 problems in ten minutes. Not particularly efficient. He doesn't care for pure discovery math programs, so Beast is out. One thing that did help with math today was working in ten minute increments, then switching to something else. That seemed to help. I also put science, a favorite subject, in the middle of the day, instead of at the end. That was a rousing success and seemed to give everyone renewed energy. Farrar, I need to think about what you said about the amount of work he gets. When oldest ds knows what he is supposed to do, he just chugs through his work (and did this even at 9) but my younger son doesn't seem to work that way. The systematic, step-by-step, get it done approach only works with him up to a point. ETA" to add more info.

Thanks for all the responses! Lots to consider here. I'll chew on it some more and update tomorrow.

So how did you use it? Did you watch the lecture, then guide her through the new concept yourself? Or do you mean that you sat with her during the explanations? I am curious because Khan as a spine is something I may consider for my youngest.

I am struggling a little bit with homeschooling DS2 right now and am thinking I should change my approach. Working with both boys takes a good deal of effort from me. They both have significant issues with executive functioning. but they manifest very differently. DS1 needs me to sit next to him to help him stay on track, needs explicit instruction for each lesson and a lot of review. His reading comprehension is also dramatically improved when I go over the text with him. In spite of some ups and downs, he is a good worker. When I support him in the ways he needs, he gets his work done relatively promptly and cheerfully. It's a lot of work from me, and I am fine with this because it gets done. DS2 is another matter. DS2's attention issues mean that he has very little tolerance for review and repetition. At his age, I expect to have to sit down with him like I do with DS1, but it is a fight to get him to keep his attention on and solve every single problem. Every single subject that does not involve reading, watching a film, or playing a game is a battle. Even answering comprehension questions for books he's read is tough after the first 1-2 questions and he loves to read! It's like pulling teeth-- an excruciating experience for both of us. I do not have the mental energy to give this level of support to both boys. There is a categorical difference here. DS1 needs a lot of extra support to do work he is basically willing to do, even work he finds boring and/or difficult. Plus, his career goals make a structured academic approach necessary. DS2 has significant problems paying attention to anything repetitive, boring, routine, etc. He can't seem to just "get it done" for the sake of fun/free time later. There has to be a certain level of stimulation involved for him to do work at all. Right now, I go over much of his work with him orally and it is still a huge struggle. Plus, the unpredictability of his response drives us both crazy. Some days he is able to complete his work with relatively few problems. Part of the issue could be curriculum. I use most of the same repetition-heavy materials for DS2 that I do for DS1--mostly classical. I am happy to change stuff around--I'm just not sure what else might work. I would also consider more of an unschooling approach for DS2 since he is such a voracious reader. I am not worried about content at all. I am mostly concerned that he continue to make progress with math and writing. Right now his favorite subject is science, which is reading, videos and experiments. The typical suggestions for kids with attention issues--short lessons, lots of breaks, don't necessarily help. Once DS2 takes a break and gets engrossed in a book he likes or a building project it is very difficult to get him back to work. Stuff that is working right now. Prodigy Math https://www.prodigygame.com/ Calvert Spelling (online) Literature (if not too much discussion) Murderous Maths (The set arrived and he is already trying out probability tricks on me.) Guest Hollow Jr. Anatomy http://www.guesthollow.com/homeschool/science/anatomy_jr/jr_anatomy_curriculum.html Horrible History Horrible Science Human Planet--loved the kids roasting the giant tarantulas. All I need to do is point out where Belize is on a globe. Not working: R&S Math, even modified. I desperately need to switch to something else. R&S Grammar--so-so. He enjoys solving the grammar "problems" if there aren't too many. IEW--wrote one fantastic outline and paragraph, then got bored. Now like pulling teeth. History--anything but Horrible History is boring for him. He did get somewhat interested in Famous Men of Rome. If I can't make this work, I may put him in school to save our relationship, though he also has some social anxiety. Making him do chores is like pulling teeth too--but at least it's relatively normal, and quickly over with. Jobs that involve physical activity also seem to be somewhat easier for him to complete. When we aren't butting heads, the kid's a hoot--funny, smart, insightful, and creative. Yes, DS2 has ADHD, but I am not posting in Learning Challenges because I feel this is as much of an issue with temperament and intelligence as it is with attention, especially with boys. He is already on medication, but I'd like to try other things before getting his dosage increased. Does anyone have any thoughts about what to try or change to? I am hesitant to completely unschool because it will create resentment with his brother. Btw, Beast Academy, MBTP, and MCT have been tried and driven him up the wall, so those three are out. Any thoughts or suggestions would be appreciated.

What RootAnn said. Do not hesitate.

DS9 just finished Jurassic Park and is starting The Creeping Shadow by Jonathan Stroud. For school he is motoring through Heidi. We are reading the Fellowship of the Ring together right now. I am working through the Ranger's Apprentice series and trying in vain to get someone else in the family interested in them. I see why they are so popular--the books are fun, light reading.