Ditto here. We live in a place of 300 days of sunshine but it would take over 10 years to pay back with electrical savings. Also, with the giant hail we get around here, they would get damaged before we got to that date anyway.

I ate the ribs because I thought I could have a food party since when my test results come back, it will probably be a fairly restricted diet for a while. I'm pretty sad that my body can no longer tolerate foods I used to have as treats without my gut rebelling. I will be talking with my functional medicine doctor about all of that when I go back. I'm guessing I do have SIBO since stopping the ferments also stopped the eczema. I guess I am looking at sticking with the diet I started for a while until I can heal. I'm pretty sure that the doctor will not just try to tackle this through diet alone. I am going to ask her about antibiotics. I was just surprised that I was having such stomach issues when I ate a forbidden food after having spent years eating those very same foods. I ate a fairly healthy diet already with pretty low sugar. My concern right now is that when I'm eating a Paleo diet, I'm losing weight fairly quickly. Some of that is probably inflammation. When I went on a similar diet 20 years ago, I ate a ton of food and still kept losing weight to the point my parents got really concerned when I visited after not having seen me for 6 months. Granted, I was in my 20s and that's a whole different animal since now, being perimenopause, my body tends to want to keep the weight more and I'm probably 20 pounds heavier. The other thing I'm trying to tackle is my insomnia due to restless leg and other factors. I'm on medication for this and I really want to try to get off of it.

But I used to eat it all the time before I did my two week elimination diet without any symptoms. It makes no sense to me.

So, I went on an elimination diet for two weeks and noticed my eczema (which was my main reason for the diet) was getting worse. I gave up and went to a functional medicine person for actual blood testing for food sensitivities. She suggested all my healthy ferments could be causing the problem due to possible SIBO so I gave them up to see if it helped the eczema. My eczema is on retreat and has almost cleared in only 5 days. I’m going back to see the doctor in another week. Here’s my current question until I see her again. I can no longer eat foods I was able to eat before I went on the elimination diet. Foods that were on the no no list. I get gassy and crampy if I eat any food I eliminated. Tonight it was ribs with a sweet homemade barbecue sauce. I’m in pain. I used to eat all sorts of food without getting gassy for the most part. I used to eat this very recipe with no side effects. Now, after just two weeks on a pretty restricted diet, I can’t. What is going on?

I was on a pretty restrictive diet 20 years ago and now am looking at a similar diet coming up to heal some digestive issues. Compared to 20 years ago, it is much easier to find foods that are acceptable. I remember 20 years ago, going into a store to look for anything I could eat. The ONLY thing I could eat in the entire grocery store were vegetables. Nuts, for instance, were on my list as acceptable, but I couldn't find anything not roasted in peanut oil. Now, there are all sorts of raw nuts in the grocery store. If you're gluten free, there are tons of options. Grain free? I can even buy that stuff at Costco. There are organic fruits, vegetables, eggs, meat, ect. all at the local grocery store. I remember that the only place I could shop 20 years ago was a 7th day adventist health food store in a town of a population of almost 100K. So, from my perspective, food choice has gotten better in America overall. Choices in what you eat have increased also so it just depends what you're looking for.

I have been feeling much like you. Invisible. My 20 year old is severely handicapped and has a wheelchair. He’s fairly healthy though and we can get out to stores though. I feel like I have a wasted life. I’ve gotten to the point that my youngest is 12, everyone is in school (except my oldest), and I “should” be able to do more. But, it’s exhausting to get ds out and the only day program he can go to has a wait list that seems never ending. We were told one year waiting list last year and are now told another year. Even when I do get out and about, all people see is my son and wonder what’s wrong with him or want to know about him. I’m invisible. I want to do something where I am seen as just me- not someone’s mom. To be known for what I am instead of being defined as a mom of a child with special needs. I want a part time job or to be able to do something I love and am good at. But, having to rely on someone to come to my home adds another layer of stress that I can’t handle. I know moms do it all the time with daycare and daycare workers that get sick but I just can’t do it. It’s not a “this too will pass”/ eventually the kids will be in school situation. It’s the rest of my life. In theory, there are day programs and residential places he could go. In reality, they all have long long waiting lists. So, I hear you. I do understand. I don’t see a good solution either. Have you ever looked at chronic sorrow? It applies to your situation also.

I would personally put everyone in school and get used to that routine. Yes, it's a really hard morning to get everyone going, but if you're looking at them having to make that transition eventually, it may be easier for everyone to get used to one thing at a time. Just having the stress of your failing health/possibly not being able to talk AND having to go to school as a result of that all together is a lot of change. While it's not the same, I had to send my last remaining two to school because of the stress it took on me taking care of their older disabled brother. It is not my ideal and there was a definite mourning that took place on my part, but I, as a healthy woman, could not take care of all the stuff that goes with taking care of someone with a disability AND homeschool just two children. And yes, there is a lot of chaos that involves having to get children to school in the morning and homework after school, but just not having the responsibility for their education has helped reduce my stress levels quite a bit. You need to reduce the load you are carrying in any way you can. That may mean sending everyone to school. Sometimes, we have to acknowledge that while we "can" do something still, maybe we shouldn't.

You may want to look into trauma therapy when this settles down a bit. Your saying you needed a day to recover sounds like some decent trauma that may show up in other areas of your life.

#3. Diet soda is horrible for you. The artificial sugars can cause all sorts of issues with your health. Most people I know feel tons better when they give up the diet soda.

Actually, if you look at my state, 1 in 4 kids failing the reading test sounds pretty good. In Colorado, less than half the students are at grade level in reading and 1 out of 3 are at grade level in math. When my daughter went to the very highly spoken of neighborhood charter school, I finally understood why our country is falling behind so many other countries in education. The math was a really bad common core that from what I could see, confused students more than gave them actual skills. And this highly spoken of charter school where every parent I have met (expect the one former homeschooler) has spoken of how wonderful it is has only 1 out of 3 kids proficient in math per their grade level. This school has most of the population of kids from two parents solidly middle class families with no ESL students. I don't understand. We didn't stay with that school. I couldn't figure out why so many parents raved about it. The academics were horrible. I couldn't figure out why the parents didn't ban together and insist on changes because it was a charter school and they could make changes. I think they were satisfied.

I don't know about Subarus, but we have a Honda CRV that has 200K miles on it and hasn't required anything more than normal wear and tear - like brake pads needing replacing and stuff that you would expect to wear out. The only weird thing we changed was the windshield because it started to get speckled and you couldn't see through it as well. The way it's running, we would expect to use it with teen driver #2 to teach him to drive also.

I used to live in a place where my friend got yelled at loudly in a public area because she had too many kids and was destroying the earth with her carbon footprint. So, basically, you just learn not to share your viewpoint and know that if you do, you would be inviting all sorts of people to curse at you (I learned my lesson to not offer differing options even if offered in kindness). I live in a different part of the country now and didn’t realize how much I altered my speech in public —even if it was at a coffee shop with a friend —until I moved. I’m saddened that things are like this now.

Just make small changes and keep making them. For instance, if you want to cut down on sugar, start there and once you feel you conquered that, move into the next thing.

I want my son to die before me because at least I know he's safe with Jesus. I also feel horrible saying that. I also know that my life would change dramatically and I'm not sure what I would do with myself since my life is so wrapped up in his.

When we were moving from Minnesota, I knew enough about how different states had different waivers to help with children with disabilities. Most states have no help whatsoever for disabled children and adults. I called someone in Tennessee for example. I was told that unless I had a direct/audible call from God to move to Tennessee to not do it. She then proceeded to tell me how an elderly mother with a disabled adult child was told to abandon her child at a homeless shelter so that she could get help for him. I've heard other stories like that - basically a lot of parents have to make their child wards of the state in order to get help. It's horrible that this happens in America honestly. My sister is moving to Tennessee with her autistic child--it's a done deal for her. But, she is already in a state that offers no supports so it's not a change for her anyway. I can pay down my mortgage and add more money to retirement because of a program available in my state. I became a Certified Nursing Assistant so that I could be paid to take care of him. The state is paying someone to take care of kids like my son and they figured that parents should be paid just like anyone else who would have to come in and help. So, I have a full time job. Not every state has this - especially when children are under 18. There are very few states that have anywhere close to this program. So, to answer your question about how to help parents get a break, you will have to contact the ARC in your state. But, be aware that the majority of states have no helps for parents who are raising severely disabled kids. And it really doesn't matter if it's a blue state or red state.

In six months, join aarp. In a little over five years, but a home in a 55 and up community and be considered “an older adult”. I’m slightly horrified.

Has anyone done this with their child or themselves? I'm trying to figure out if it's a sham or real science. It's to try to help my daughter who has anger issues, defiant issues, possible RAD, and ADHD. I'm not convinced she will choose to follow a therapist's recommendations with things to try at home to regulate her anger.

He functions at a 18 month old level. He’s mostly non verbal but we understand what he needs or wants just because we’re around him constantly. Like for instance if you leave the tv remote on the kitchen table, he will grab it and give it to you to put back in it’s proper place. I know the difference between pain grunt, too gassy grunt (he has a g-tube) and constipated, put me on the potty grunt. He does have about 10 words and phrases that have changed a little through the years. Lately, he has been calling me mama bear. I call him baby bear. He laughs. It’s our comedy routine. He gets around pretty well in a wheelchair because everything below his waist is messed up.

Another also, do any of you with these kids have close friends? We moved four years ago and have yet to make good friends in our new location. I've tried - it's just never reciprocated.

Also, those with older disabled children—do you have any plans for when the rest of your kids are launched? I feel like I will be invisible for the rest of my life. I want to do other things with my life but the coordination of it all is exhausting.

We’re working on getting him a day program. There are only two that work for him. One is too far and spending over two and a half hours in the car driving him back and forth is to much for me. He is on a waiting list for a closer one. Ironically, his brother provides respite so I can work out alone or go shopping and we have a person for longer periods of time if we want to get away for a night or go on a long hike. In home care where I am home is a nightmare for my introverted self. I’ve tried it for three summers and it was not at all relaxing and pretty stressful to me. I need a different setup in my home to make that work.

I’m in Colorado. I have trouble with physical groups since a lot of them are dealing with autistic children. Mine is such a different road. I’m not dealing with behaviors as much—just the physical care drain. I’m also realizing I have not processed my grief over his life properly. Since he turned 20 and his 18 year old brother is starting to make plans for his adult life, the whole “I’ll be a mom to a baby/toddler for the rest of my life” has really hit me hard.

I have a 20 year old severely disabled child. I am looking for some "what is normal" in this type of situation. I am also having trouble finding anyone in real life with a similar situation (I've checked facebook only and don't have any other leads). Check in here please.