I know a some kids who don't work, and who appear to think they are entitled to money from the bank of Mom and Dad whenever it is required. They haven't made the connection between work, money and their parent's life hours yet. It seems a class thing for me where I am - the middle class kids don't get jobs, the working class kids do. (of course, it goes without saying, I do not know all the kids everywhere - this is only true within my circles - I am sure there are middle class kids with jobs all over the world).... Tbf, my own parents were the same - they didn't want my sibling or I to work while at school - we needed to 'focus on our academics'. I think they made a mistake, and that earning one's own money can be an important source of freedom and autonomy for teens.

Aged care here is a shambles. Understaffed, underpaid, over-medicated, abuse and neglect rife.

I agree with this to an extent...it's excellent, pragmatic advice for the real world...but I hate that the onus here is on girls and women to anticipate and adjust for this unequal world. I'd like to imagine a world in which care is valued - financially. I'm less concerned about situations where a less preferred, financially secure career is still viable after caring work, than with the huge financial hit caring for others mid to long term imposes. And for the labour and pay conditions of workers (mostly female) we outsource care to, if we do make those wise, pragmatic real world decisions.

I'm going to borrow this to add to my three. Ds has an awesome disposition. He's thoughtful, funny, hardworking, generous, quirky, and makes a great housemate. I am grateful for him daily.

I'm extremely grateful for friendship, for being returned to a writing practice, and for the reliability of my therapist.

I agree with you most fervently.

It gets harder and harder to mask when you are the only person. It's hot, the kids can't hear as well, it costs money. I feel like maybe it's time to just roll the dice. Long Covid, though...that's scary. Death is fine! But a hospital stay and/or not being able to work...I really can't afford LC.

Kids at school now with Covid. They can come if they don't have (many) symptoms. I'm surprised parents are testing, seems a bit pointless. Given that there is no ongoing vaccine plan, I do feel quite hopeless about it.

Not that I know of, and that makes me feel sad.

I agree too. When my mh is good, I'm here less or not at all. When it's not so good, here I am. I certainly identify with getting wound up! I don't know about Texas but for me it's a potent mix of avoidance, feeling-seeking and loneliness. (There are good people and discussions here, but better for the more robust among us, I think. Maybe not me. Maybe not Texas).

She's not any good. Sorry, but if you're paying $, you're wasting it ..unless you WANT to dump for 55 min and then have homework shoved at you. That's not even good CBT.

I think behaving lovingly, and feeling love are two different things. I know I have a lot of difficulty identifying and feeling emotions, particularly positive ones, and I'd say I'm typically more characterised by their absence. I think there are developmental and neurological reasons for that. I still call how I feel towards my kids, 'love', even though I don't often have the warm, open feeling of love. Because the feeling component is only one part of love as a verb. But, also, I go to therapy for that 🙂 It's not ideal.

COL crisis here atm - I am thinking it is the perfect time to stop doing Christmas, except for the 10 year old niece! Every year I just think anew about the madness of the gift giving. Not to celebrate the person, or because you felt moved to gift them, but because it's a particular day of the year. If we are Christian, are we really gifting to celebrate the birth of a Saviour? If we're not, what the heck are we doing? This probably isn't the Christmas discussion you meant, OP! (I get that it stimulates the economy...)

Texas, this article describes better what you could expect from the type of therapy (counselling) I outlined above, that is sometimes more helpful than manualized therapies (CBT). https://focus.psychiatryonline.org/doi/10.1176/foc.4.2.167 It is often provided by psychiatrists, rather than someone with the title 'counsellor'. It's useful to consider if there are long standing patterns you're seeking to change, and if CBT isn't really doing anything for you.

Sounds like she is doing a CBT workbook style therapy. It doesn't work for everyone. If it's not working for you, it's ok to stop.

Oh yes. This is very true. A good therapist knows this. Not everyone can access the amount of therapy they need to do this, but if you can, it can be a helpful thing to continue past the point of 'acute initial presentation'.

I think if a counsellor can't pick up on this through the counselling itself, as it goes on, then that's a sign you are not having quality therapy. I also have a high functioning face irl (though not here) and if I'd had to print out a 'ML goes nuts online' thread to show her, I'd think she was pretty much not very good, and I probably would also want to terminate the therapy. But more to the point, a good therapist doesn't need you to bring in an online thread, because you bring those patterns into the room...eventually. One way or another. Idk. I think people think of counselling like a cafeteria. Go in, point at what you already know you want, get it, consume it. I don't think it's that helpful as a model.

But if you are going to self-diagnose, then start doing celiac level research when you go out to eat. Very few places actually truly understand celiac. I mean, my actually diagnosed son doesn't eat out...that's how serious his medical condition is.

I mean, no? Because you don't know you are celiac. I don't understand the question. Go get tested. Yes, you will need to gluten yourself. Oh well. It will end, and then you will know if you have celiac, which is a medical condition, or not.

Yes, I do. I often have, throughout my life, and it's one way in which I've been very lucky. Right now I have several people like this. They are people I have known for a decade plus, though parenting activities.

Well... Firstly, I don't have a counsellor, because I've historically found counsellors not very useful, but I do have an experienced psychologist who is also a psychotherapist. I've been seeing her either weekly or fortnightly for the last three years. The first year was very much about background, and the immediate presenting problem/s. I definitely do the majority of the talking - this therapy is not edu-therapy aka it isn't worksheets and homework. In this style of therapy, you talk (about anything), the therapist listens and will sometimes clarify or hypothesize. You develop a therapeutic relationship with the therapist. It's only in the third year that we've got anywhere close to looking at some original wounds (but I have some pretty extreme trust issues). ~ Here's my advice. 1. Your counsellor probably isn't very skilled. Some just provide a manualized therapy aka they tell you your problem, they tell you skills to practice, you go away and practice them, if things change, great, if they don't, do more homework. Frankly, I feel this is a downright harmful way to practice, but some people like and respond to it. A really good way to find out if they are skilled is to share with them what you've shared here and note their reaction. A good counsellor will find it interesting and helpful information, that can help them understand how best to help you. A less skilled person will try to convince you of their style, panic that they've been 'criticized' or simply not know how to make any adjustment. 2. Anxiety is a 'cover' emotion - it's like a lid over more distinct emotions - anger, grief etc. So while it can be useful to have some skills for dealing with anxiety, that's really only step 1 for a lot of people. 3. Speaking of grief, people I know who have dealt with a loved one in hospice have found grief counselling specifically helpful. From a grief counsellor aka someone experienced in grief around hospitals, death etc. 4. You need to think about what YOU want out of this. Not what the counsellor wants out of you. Do you want to explore your patterns of relating to yourself and others? Do you want to deal with your grief? Do you want to heal some trauma? Or do you not want to do those things, or do them in a different way, because that is OK too. 5. Once you're clear on what you want, and if it involves a type of psychological therapy, find the best practitioner you can. 6. If you just want to get on with life, now that the hospice stuff is less intrusive, you can do that. Therapy is for you, not for us, not for your family or your friends, and definitely not for the therapist! Good luck.

I'm so sorry to hear this. I have been shocked to find out this can happen.

The empathy! The reason I'm concerned about it is because it is happening in my world. A very bright and beautiful 19 year old is now in hospital on a variety of heavy duty medications due to cannabis. She obtained her cannabis legally. Her prognosis is uncertain. Please go and read wathe's posts. I'm done here. I've been pro-decriminalization of drugs and for harm minimization strategies since I was in my teens and it was not a mainstream position, but I have been shocked at what legally obtained cannabis use can do to wreck a person's life. That's all.

Shopping addictions don't tend to trigger psychosis. I would be 100% in favor of increasing taxes on drug/alcohol industries and directing those taxes towards high quality psychiatric, psychological and psycho-therapeutic care for those who need it. Somehow I doubt that's ever part of the conversation. I'd also hope that where recreational drug use is being normalized by legalization, that huge educational efforts are made to educate the population on risks as well as any perceived benefits.

It's definitely easier to get delicate over it when it's not tied up with some systemic racism. It isn't here. If I was Quill, I'd probably vote to legalize but I'd be hoping like heck that someone had done the ground work of including some pretty strict regulation in the law. I just wish people would not be blase about impact of being legally able to obtain it on those who are vulnerable. There's a reason my friend's kid didn't become psychotic when she, sadly, was drinking hand sanitizer, pre-ability to get cannabis. Hand sanitizer is pretty bad for you, but it didn't trigger psychosis. Please understand that legality and availability do normalize use, and that will have a devastating effect on some young individuals, even if you think it's a fair enough price to pay, and 'they would have been addicted to something else anyway'.