If I felt .compelled to go, I would bring a beverage, a couple two litres of pop, or a gallon of lemonade. I wouldn't be empty handed, but I also would not be putting myself out only to once again have an untouched dish. Since I would be there ONLY in support of my dh, I would bring a boom and unabashedly read in a corner given the dynamics of the situation. That said, there is not one thing wrong with staying home. Your dh and kids can go if they would enjoy doing so, and can take pop or a plate of cookies with them. There is no need for this to be w command performance, and he does not owe this woman an explanation. I really think the world would be a better place if folks did not accommodate nasty people.

It is one crazy, wild ride reading up on this case!

Actually, we ended almost all get togethers that revolve around meals. It is so much work, and way too expensive! And it isn't enjoyable to be constantly cooking for one group, then all my GF stuff, and then my mom's restrictions. So before covid, dh and I pulled the plug on extended family meals. Prior to going no contact with my brother and his wife, their two daughters, and one of his two sons (long history of instability and drama that just spilled over and wiped everyone out), we said on Christmas we would meet for coffee and GF dessert. We played cards and board games, had tea/coffee, and the GF dessert. My mom and mother in law eat holiday dinners with us, and we keep it simple. Roast turkey, mashed potatoes made with broth, gravy made with corn starch, roast green beans bowl of fresh fruit, one regular dessert for them, and one for me and if home from France, my sis. Rolls are off to the side away from all the food and not baked in any of our kitchens so we don't worry about cross contamination when sis is around because she is so reactive. Now we don't get together ever with my brother's family. For Christmas, we will be two weeks in Alabama, all three of our sons, daughter, son in law, grandsons, and my mom. Dear son in law is unfortunately allergic to many foods. I really feel for him. Again we keep it simple. Fresh fruits, fresh veggies, and steamed veggies but no peppers because he is allergic to nightshades. No seafood. He has an alpha gal allergy so we will do a lot of cooking with turkey and chicken, but when we do pulled pork, it will be cooked in my instapot, and his chicken will be in their crockpot. We have a ton of countertop at the mountain house so foods cam be kept separate and labeled. However, we don't plan many meals that center around foods he cannot have. We will do chicken tacos with ground chicken twice, and this will be with nightshade free seasoning which we made from scratch. Sour cream and shredded cheese will be kept on the island. The counter top will have our GF corn chips (he and I eat it as nachos because nearly all good tasting GF tortillas have potato starch. I don't mind, and do not want GF tortillas that I use at home getting up close with his food. Everyone else's tortillas are on the table. Children are served. Adults have been trained to go get their toppings on their plates, and then load their tortillas at the table so that they do not get utensils that have touched their flour tortillas mixed with the meat and veggies. Christmas day we won't do mashed potatoes. We will do baked potatoes. We have two ovens in the house. So we will put his sweet potato in one oven with the GF pie, and everyone else will get baked potatoes done in the other oven. We will make homemade GF bread. But none of our meals will.be based on sandwiches because it gets expensive to make GF, potato starch free bread for 10 people. We won't be keeping regular bread products in the house so we don't have to worry about grandson getting things mixed. Aebleskiver will be GF and night shade free. We have been researching recipes to make sure we can make a tasty one. It isn't too expensive to do it by simplifying meals to being centered around veggies and fruits grains that are okay like polenta and rice. We do many meals with those two sides. I make a savory polenta of garlic and basil, and then put a pesto out that is safe for dsil, and salsa and cheese on a different counter. The thing is though, we have narrowed our world to a small family that is all rowing together, and understands that when not around dsil, they will get to have what they want. Everyone is willing to eat this way in order to spend all those meal times together. That doesn't work always with large families. In those cases, if I wanted to get together with the larger group, it would never be at meal time. It is a crazy maker to juggle all the regular foods the allergen free foods, and not end up with cross contamination. So we would absolutely refuse big meals, and show up after eating at home in order to visit, play games, take the family photo, open presents or whatever. It is unfortunate that everything around the holidays in America is centered around food, always lots of food, and everyone feeling pressured to eat together. It is hard to against that grain, but we have found that in doing so, we have a ton less stress. Also, we never sit at the table as a group and pass dishes. That is just asking for cross contamination issues between people mixing up utensils, spills, crumbs falling down etc. We decorate the tables beautifully, have everyone sit down, take a photos and then carry their plates to the kitchen counter buffet. Even in my moms small kitchen, we do this, and just set up a card table to have enough room for trays. Our fruit and veggie trays tend to be rather large since these are quite popular.

W.T.A.F.? Seriously trolling. That is what this is. Nine posts and the first one very political on a board with warnings about politics, and now claiming to know what people feed their kids.

I used to put it on a piece of gauze or other fabric and just kind of really wipe around. Also, the nurse said not to use any kind of soap or anything on those ladies parts because it just ends up irritating the skin and drying it out making it all more susceptible. She was anti baths as well until one has gone more than a year without a UTI. So this is the routine she prescribed and so followed it to the letter: No tampons until it sorts out because the damn bacteria can live on them too, and due to proximity of everything, just reintroduce infection. Bladder voiding after fun times, and then a swipe down with the betadine, quick rinse and dry, no underwear let the air get to the yoohoos. Kind of sucked from the snuggling and immediately go to sleep aspect. Drink a half gallon of cranberry juice during the first day plus always sipping on water. Then say hydrated, stay hydrated, stay hydrated. Cotton undies, and bleach or boil them plus partner's because not only can UTI live on them, but of course the damn yeast which half the time follows the stupid antibiotics. Partner religiously washes his yahoo with the Betadine. At one point, I was so desperate to be done with UTI's, I would have flame thrown his nether regions if that would have solved it! 😂 So he really kind of owes that nurse a debt of eternal gratitude because it could have gotten ugly, like medieval ugly! 😁 Partner washes everyday for 30 days with it, and then has a once a week maintenance. And don't relax until you have gone more than a year without. I was extra cautious and do this for two years. Not fun. BUT, after that, I only ever had ONE uti, and that was during my first pregnancy. Since then? UTI free and never even worry or think about it, dh hasn't had any maintenance in all those years. That said, I would imagine some women might have to do that for forever if they are super susceptible.

I made him do it daily for a month just to get rid of it on him, and then used it on myself after, yada yada, and whenever I took a shower. Just be careful with the stuff because, oy, it stains.

Betadine. It is over the counter in the first aid section of the pharmacy. My dumb autocorrect on the kindle changed it. I edited up top. Stupid autocorrect! Someday I am going to hunt down the programmers of that little beast.... 😁

The military thing just blows my mind. A local marine veteran is a very vocal, anti-vax person a the school. This same person has said that he had typhoid vaccine, yellow fever, anthrax, and malaria pills due to where he spent some of his career. 🤔 😲 He doesn't speak out against any of those. As someone who had to take typhoid vaccine back in the mid-80's because of a region I was traveling to, I can say without hesitation that my Moderna vaccine, for side effects, was absolute CAKE WALK compared to Typhus vax! The cognitive dissonance is something I can't quite wrap my brain around.

If you want to be reusable, my best suggestion is to invest in a stainless steel, tripod grill station that sits over an open fire, and you can adjust the height (make sure you have a welders glove because it does get hot). You can then make burgers, dogs, grilled cheese, etc. on the fire. We have done grilled cheese stations with 4H before. We get three or four kinds of cheese, and have each camper butter their own bread, and layer whatever cheese they want. We have also done it with salami and roast turkey lunchmeat if we wanted them to have the choice of a hot meat and cheese sandwich. You can do about five at a time on that grill station and they don't take long if you have a nice bed of coals going so the heat is good. Along with it, you can arrange a log on the fire to place corn on the cob in their husks. Fire roasted corn is good, but you need long tongs and that glove so it can be turned regularly, and they can't be directly on the coals because that is too intense for corn unless you wrap them in foil. We usually keep a couple of extra pairs of insulated gloves on the picnic table so campers can shuck their hot corn, allowing it to cool rapidly enough to eat soon. Other sides can be done in a steel grilling basket on propped up just above the coals but not directly on them. For crowd this size, you need two or three. If you are going to regularly camp with the group and want to have as little trash as possible, then investing in these things is a good idea. We also have a griddle which we can put on a logs over the bed of coals and cook fried eggs pretty rapidly along with campfire toast. Make sure all the adults take turn slaving over the fire so you don't get stuck with it all. We have been known to chunk up a hickory smoked ham, and toss onto the grill as well for breakfasts. One fried egg, some chunked ham, and a piece of fruit usually does well keeping them until lunch.

I am so sorry Wildflower! So so sorry.

I totally understand empathy fatigue!

I think that if I got covid, and lost my abilities at the piano, it would be beyond devastating! Music has defined me for the vast majority of my life, and is my passion, my muse.

A nurse told me, after my third UTI in four months in our first year together, that males carry it on, ya know, but it doesn't generally bother them. She advised religious use by dh of betadine on, ya know 😉, and that ended the cycle. As part of that, she said just like yeast infection, either bleach or boil undies for both of us to get rid of it since it can live on fabric for a while.

Nailed it!!! 👏👏👏

I don't cook breakfast. I keep instant oatmeal, granola, milk, bread for toast, fresh fruit, and boiled eggs around. Everyone eats something quick from that list, and it pays for itself in not eating out, and also getting out the door faster in the mornings. We have a big road trip coming up in the spring, ten days out west, and we never found an affordable Vrbo/Air bnb. So we have hotel room suites, by for part of the trip, no kitchenette. Besides the chicken breast meal with the instapot, I am planning French dips, Hawaiian chicken with rice and steamed veggies (I have a little rice cooker that travels with us and cooks the rice with the veggies together), meatballs with rice or microwaved potatoes, mushroom risotto, and barbecue pulled pork. All the leftovers will be used cold at lunch when we are romping around the national parks.

I take an instapot along instead of a crock pot. My family loves chicken breast, onions, potatoes, and carrots with a little broth and lots of herbs. The leftover chicken breast gets shredded the next day and is either mixed with cream cheese to make a yummy lunch spread o used at supper to chicken tacos.

PeterPan, RSV is really going around here in addition to Delta, play some other kind of cold thing which has turned out to be quite mild for folks. It is maddening!

Here is a quick read about a legal case against school districts in Wisconsin for lack of covid mitigation protocols. If this catches on, this could sweep the nation. My guess is school boards across America may regret allowing the ridiculous, wicked " let er rip" parents have the end say in school policy because it is not likely that a court will side with a school who went against th CDC and state health department guidelines. And if some of these kids hammered with covid disability or die, it could lead to some liability on these schools for not attempting to squelch the spread. https://www.cnn.com/2021/10/11/us/wisconsin-parent-lawsuit-covid-school/index.html The school district we are zoned for - ZERO mitigations, business as usual like nothing is going on out there and does not even tell parents when exposures happen - has eleven cases in this high school. 85% of faculty and staff vaccinated, but only 14% of the students. The school contains only 400 students. So 11 is a very worrisome number given that most parents here do not take their kids for the test if symptoms are mild. The county medical director estimates the actual cases to be closer to 70, and judging by actual absences for sick days, he is probably right. That's an actual positivity of 17.5%. That's the kind of positivity rate that gets insanely out of control very rapidly. In terms of this district, that is more than this year's entire graduating class. So classes continue despite high absenteeism. We have no head of the county health department because the right wing nut jobs that are called "county commissioners" here refuse to hire anyone with actual qualifications for the position - they drove out our previous one because she refused to say covid is a hoax and supported universal masking in public places, especially in schools, and of course vaccination - and so we are going through this ramping up of cases in the local schools with no one fit at the helm. The commissioners' current favorite choice, is a former army corpman with a bachelor's degree in biology, and a master's in business management. The state said "Hell, freaking no. This person does not have any of the required qualifications for the position, and we will pull your funding if you even try to install her in the position". This is my world. The Marx Brothers are running the county during a pandemic, and acting like tantruming toddlers with the state trying to figure out how to " spank" them. I really hope someone with a student in this county gets a son of a bitch, evil, win at all cost attorney and manages to sue the pants off the district and these asshats in charge of the county. These scum bags don't give a crap about human life, but they sure do care about the money.

I do dark colors. White has to be bleached, and that wears them out too fast. I am not a fan of replacing them very often. LOL, I have a couple of towels so old and rough, I am fairly certain you could buff rust off a car bumper with them. 😁 I use them to exfoliate my legs that resemble fish skin sometimes! In the new to us house, we have teal towels. In this house we have dark, chocolate brown.

We have outbreaks in 3/4 of the school districts in my county. These are small districts, often only having 60-100 students per graduating class, with 2 who have 35 or fewer seniors. They have anywhere from a low of 5 per building to a high of 23 students per building. No masks in any district, and in one of them teachers who wore masks to school were physically threatened by parents, our moron district attorney is not pressing charges, so the superintendent told them they can't wear masks to school anymore! I suspect we are going to see more teachers quitting, and every single district has no where close to the faculty and staff they need. I really don't know how this can keep going because teachers are being treated like total crap, and there are a LOT of employment options out there so they could quit. These parents don't seem to consider the consequences of their actions. And of course this is just further proof from the anti-mask crowd that this has nothing to do with "freedom" because they want to restrict the teachers' choice to wear a mask. It is all about forcing their covid is a hoax stupidity down everyone else's throats. We leave in a few days for the mountain house in Alabama. I am looking forward to a couple of weeks of hunkering down on the mountain and completely ignoring the world.

I have no advice except, stock up on booze and chocolate! 😁

Right. In order to have a healthy relationship, it takes two. In my experience, it is exceptionally rare for both sides to be willing to change, to put in the work. It then becomes and issue of "which of the two bad options is the least bad". I don't think anyone here is claiming divorce is a positive except when things really are that terrible. Many of us are trying to say we experienced the terrible, the actual circumstances in which a divorce would have been a net positive. In many cases, it is a gamble on which is the least worse. Nobody knows until they come out the other side. It would be helpful though if people listened to the adult kids who are on the other side of it now which might help in the future especially for the psychological community as it seeks to counsel married persons needing advice.

And you are wrong. You absolutely cannot make that statement as has been attested here by people like myself who were very wronged by our parents staying together, who have witnessed and experienced a life time of hurt. And I wasn't physically or sexually abused either. You have no idea what it may be worth to kids, and as marriage and family is complicated, you cannot make this claim because in some cases it will absolutely be worth it, and in others, not.

Carol is absolutely right about that cheese soup! Yummy, yum! We actually like baked potato bars when the weather gets chilli. I will make steamed broccoli with cheese sauce as one topper item, by also sauteed mushrooms, bacon, shredded barbecue chicken, and then roast some Brussels sprouts as a side. Sour cream or a good plain Greek yogurt, and voila, protein, veggies, healthy carb, and not a lot of work. I usually do a couple of chicken breasts in the instapot, drain off the juice, add barbecue sauce, and keep on warm until the potatoes and broccoli are done. Easy peasy.

Further more, how will they cope as adults in the workplace? There is going to be no protection for their fragile feelings. If they work for corporate America, diversity training, anti-racism seminars, sexual.harassment workshops, diverse work places, it will entirely snowball on them. The parent hand wringing and pearl clutching on this issue and many, many others needs to end unless these parents plan on having the fragile egos they have raised remain video gaming in their basements for the rest of their lives. The work world does not care about their feelings, not one little bit. This is not the way to raise adults. On top of which, with the birth rates so low for whites, in another 25 years today's teens will be middle aged and navigating life as a minority. These parents need to get on board teaching their children to navigate a world that will be very different from the here and now. I cannot imagine the horror of being a teacher these days!