You have said that neither of them want to raise him full time. I find this terribly sad. If that's really the case and neither wants to - there are people who DO. This wasn't intended to be ugly. I have adopted two children whose parents couldn't parent them.

And yet people every day go through stress and don't react that way - because they have kids and need to provide for them.

His issues are not her fault though. Seriously. You want someone to blame and I get it - but he chose her. He's an adult. Blaminng her will get him absolutely nowhere.

She currently has him, though, right? If neither want to raise him, there are certainly families who would love to adopt this baby. But your stepson isn't showing that he's even capable - never mind interested.

This is not a man who should have custody of his son. Not at all.

I think his actions at work have made it very clear that his issues are his own, and not the fault of his wife. He is making poor choices, having arguments with his boss, spending money he doesn't have, and not prioritizing seeing his son the way he should. At this point, encouraging him to get 50/50 custody is NOT in the best interest of that baby and it's time for you and DH to step back and let him find his own way.

Why does that worry you?

I understand neither of them are ideal parents, but she appears to be taking care of the baby while he continuously makes choices that mean he can't have custody. It seems that him paying support while she has their child most of the time is what makes the most sense.

He doesn't sound to me like a man who is ready for the responsibilities of 50/50 custody. How old is he? He seems very young and immature. Also, without a separation agreement, he may very well still need to be helping her pay bills - it will look poorly on him in court if he doesn't (possibly?)

Family, parents, and children are not well served by rigid legislation when it comes to parenting and visitation.

The legislation.

I really find this horrifying...as a mom.

That's a whole different story! Our family is full of ARFID and picky eaters, so most of us like one or two things and won't eat anything else!

But if your dad likes it, why cancel it? Poor guy!

My friend's two daughters got COVID at 100% outdoor, fully masked summer camp. She was horrified. One got quite sick, one was basically asymptomatic. They were 7 and 11.

We have 2 roomba vacuums on each floor. This eliminates almost all of the hair on the floor. We wash blankets as needed on couches, and make sure to only use throw sizes blankets so it's not too annoying to wash. Otherwise, we chose them as family members and just adjust as needed. Our house is very clean despite having 4 dogs.

What is a rebounder? I have never heard this term. Oh...a trampoline. We have this one: https://www.jumpflex.com/products/flex-15ft-trampoline

Does he actually WANT 50/50 or is that what his ex wants?

If both parents make equal amounts of money and have equal time with the child, it's pretty common for there to be no child support. It's not like the money would be given directly to the child either, so this is silly.

For a toddler, it would be better to do a 2/2/3/3 schedule than an entire week away from either parent IMO.

No - for many reasons, but the most concerning is lack of egress.

Fraggle!

It's always been that way I think! We live in a gated community that opens its doors for the whole town. Most houses give out full size candy bars. It's super fun and so exciting for the kids. Our town limits hours and has a specific day to go trick or treating.

My 12 year old DD is a freshman. She has all honors classes, plus chorus, and is currently a peer coach for Special Olympics and is in Key Club and on the Cross Country team. She is usually home by 5:30 and then gets homework done before falling into bed earlier than she did when she was homeschooled.

Not really... I don't own a nail file, and my nails tend to break easily so I rarely have to cut them!