:001_huh: Wow. I missed that. LOL

Paula, have you ever looked at Write Shop? It has been perfect for my reluctant writer. Also, the built-in evaluation tools help me to be objective and focused on the right things. Each lesson includes: Very specific parameters for the essay. Information about common errors for that particular assignment, with tools and tips to help your student avoid those errors. Teaching methods for brainstorming, and writing a practice essay with the student. A step-by-step writing process (with schedule). Evaluation sheet for the student to use in editing his own work. Another evaluation sheet for you to use in grading his revised work. A final evaluation sheet. My reluctant writer doesn't just love Write Shop (nor do I, frankly), but we both love knowing exactly what we're looking for in each project. There are no surprises. He can be confident he's done what was required.

Sometimes when people offer their perspective on a particular aspect of parenting, they are simply sharing the voice of experience. Sometimes philosophies, ideas, and results are the outcome of years in the School of Hard Knocks for Parents. I know I've done my time in that school, and my training is not yet complete. I also know that my children are not 'easy,' nor did they hatch out of an egg or come out of a box in a fully-matured and easy-to-discipline state! My children and I have learned together. Isn't that true for every family? Do we all really have state our children's various labels, challenges, sins, and outrageous behaviors before we're allowed to talk about what we've learned? That would be a pretty long disclaimer, and I don't think it is necessary. I'm not sure what is going on here lately. You can't talk about accelerated learners, even on the accelerated learners board, without being accused of bragging. You can't talk about parenting without being explained away as a person who obviously has 'easy' children. Has everyone stopped studying Logic? Has critical thinking gone out of style?

:lol: I'm glad the conversation went well!

:iagree: :iagree: I have done the "No, I mean now," routine with boys who are just hitting puberty. I like to start that era with the understanding that I am not going to be walked upon just because their testosterone is surging. OTOH, I hate to see a teenage boy cowed by his Mom. By age 14ish, my boys look like young men to me. I'd rather treat my boys with respect, and require respect in return, than to keep playing the authoritarian parent into the teen years. I think that is more conducive to preparing them for adult relationships of all kinds. I want my boys to be respectful and kind to everyone, all their lives. I also want them to be very independent and good at keeping personal boundaries. I don't want them harassed by a coach or teacher, cowed by a boss, bullied by a neighbor, hen-pecked by a wife, or pushed around by their own children. I want them to be masculine and strong, like their father, but it is within my power to destroy that possibility if I treat them like tiny children or servants! Mothers, especially homeschooling mothers, can build the future men of the nation, but only if we realize that's what we're doing. We can build, or we can tear down. If we're not careful, we might build subservient weaklings who are over-sheltered and tied to our apron strings long past the time that they should have begun conquering the world. And then we'll wonder why our sweet boys who do everything we say are still living in our basements at age 25, suffering from "failure to launch." Free men are not at the beck and call of anyone, not even their mother or their wife. (Free women aren't, either, but we're talking about males right now.) They should do their part in their families, homes, jobs, communities, and nation. Good men will voluntarily give their time and love to serve others. But it should be voluntary, or it is worthless. Training time for children is nearly over by puberty. After that, modeling the behavior is much more effective than demanding it. Discussions are more valuable than punishments. ~mother of four sons

Nobody ever says, "Girls" like that. Or any other group. Just boys. Poor people. :glare: Old people. :glare: Little people. :glare: Redheads. :glare: Black folks. :glare: Witches. :glare: Nobody would do that! So why is it considered OK to :glare: at boys as a group?

I'm hoping for an update, too. I'm also worried about this girl! I got a knot in my stomach as I read the OP, thinking how stressed she must have felt. :(

:lurk5:

I didn't say that I thought the boy was a sociopath. I don't even know him. I was just pointing out what society-in-general thinks of boys who are inclined to do such things, because society-in-general will call CPS or the police. The OP needs to be prepared for that possibility.

You can't teach your son to solve neighbor problems with a gun! I'm honestly horrified.

This could come back to bite your son, big time. This probably sounds harsher than I intend, but I really, really think you need to hear this: In our society, causing pain to animals (with exceptions for lawful hunting) is considered to be sociopathic behavior. In our society, deliberately hurting someone else's pets is also seen as deviant and disturbing behavior. We only ever shoot, at persons or animals, if we are willing and ready to kill. We only shoot animals for self-defense or for food (and there are laws concerning both). You really need to grasp the enormity of what your child has done and do all you can to make amends. You need prepare him, and yourself, for a visit from CPS or the police.

The first question from regentrude's link was also in CathieC's link, the one about government spending, chocolate, guilt, etc.

Thank you! I've been googling, trying to find out if all 10th graders really need to be able to comprehend is a library schedule.

I suggest that you don't allow the birthday sleepover in the first place. That way you won't have to offend the girl or her mother when you don't allow your child to sleepover at their house.

Is this really a telling representation of the PISA? This PISA, on which American students scored thus: The three-yearly OECD Programme for International Student Assessment (PISA) report, which compares the knowledge and skills of 15-year-olds in 70 countries around the world, ranked the United States 14th out of 34 OECD countries for reading skills, 17th for science and a below-average 25th for mathematics. Mercy. What a lame test it was, if this sample is representative, yet we ranked so miserably.

I don't know why you'd assume I have no experience with stubborn children or with homeschooling a twice-exceptional child. The truth is that I only lack experience with your brand of humor. If your daughter really would laugh at that post, that's all that matters.

I'm sorry, but I have to say I'm offended on your dd's behalf. Mule child? Genetically and neurologically part MULE with furry ears? Digs in her heels like a bad Mexican mule? That is shocking language to me.

I'm guessing you mean your eight-year-old read Walden by Thoreau and studied with the aid of Cliff Notes? Walden Pond is not the title of a book or essay by Thoreau.

This may turn into one of those can-of-worms threads, but here I go anyway: I've never felt that a discipline system based on material 'currency' was good for a very low-income family. (Forgive me, OP, if I've mistaken you for someone else who has had some struggles along that line.) When we've been at our poorest, our dc felt unsafe enough without thinking they might lose their few worldly goods or rare treats over behavior issues. And when the whole family is struggling to get along, it is very scary for Mama to give the impression that she might leave a 'bad' kid behind at the park or wherever. "What can I take away?" might be an important question for a parent who has spoiled their child materially and needs to help him regain some balance. A family with little to lose would do better focusing on good habits, modeling correct behavior, offering positive reinforcement for successes, teaching each other how to make amends for hurting others, etc. Just my experience.

Beautiful. Truly, this post is a work of art.

My two cents: If people want to doubt me, they can have at it. I'll never post a link to my blog or the names of my children or even the state I live in, ever again. See my sig if you wonder why. (Although I do have many friends here who will vouch for me. Lately my activity here is almost all by private message! It is hard to stay private on the forums after being fairly open in the past, but I'm learning.) I hope nobody will lay open their life to the public just to prove they are not a troll. Please, mommies, practice Internet safety. Don't let anyone learn about your children here. Don't give your location, show photos of the outside of your house, or detail your child's activities around town. And if you share that type of info on your blog, only give the link to people you know and trust. Some of the trolls that pop up from time to time are just un-socialized people who mean no harm, I'm sure of that, but the dark kind show up here now and then. Unsinkable was right about perverts showing up when the hot topic on the boards is sp*nking. That is a fact of life on the internet, and women and children are vulnerable. To the OP: I'm a troll hunter from 'way back and I've never suspected you for an instant. As someone with a long history of poverty and trouble, I can usually trust my instinct when it comes to hard times and sob stories. Your struggles lately are uncomfortable for you, I'm sure, but within the range of normal during this economic period in America. Please don't worry about this.

Have you considered homeschooling?

It is funny, once you try to see your whole world that way! :lol: I could rent out my car, my washer and clothesline, my eyelash curler, my hair dryer, and my professional clothes. Oh, and the good jewelry! Homeschool moms possess all of that stuff but don't use it during the day on Monday through Friday. :smilielol5: If we really crack open the stereotypes, we can keep this going indefinitely.

OH. Didn't realize it was the same person.

AngelBee, you might be interested in the conversation developing in this thread. :grouphug: