Traffic isn't an issue here at all. Very rural area. "Rush hour" is more like "rush 5 minutes" and that's when all the schools are letting out in the afternoon. Here, we need to be able to see rural roads and roads that sometimes don't show up on any map but they are there. The speech recognition contacts thing might be a good thing to show her. We don't even use that so I hadn't thought to show her. She doesn't have a computer and refuses to ever have one. When people ask for her email address, she proudly tells them she does not have one and will not get one just for them. What she doesn't know is that I maintain an email address for her because she asks us to look up this or sign her up for that and they want an email address. So I have a dummy email that just receives things for her and I print out anything she needs to have from the internet. @kathyntx I tried to convince her that if we got her set up on a smart phone, she could have a whole library of books at her finger tips. She loves to read what I call grocery story type novels. I even told her I would set it up so she could borrow books from the library on her phone and have audiobooks to listen to in the car but alas she says it wouldn't be the same and she only reads real books made of good old-fashioned paper. She's very stubborn. I think I forgot to mention that lol. We are also currently trying to convince her that burning plastic is not better for the environment than sending it to the landfill. There is no good solution for plastic in my opinion other than limiting its use but she insists that all of our garbage can be burned and it is better for the environment than spending $27 a month for garbage service. :facepalm:

I forgot she refuses to text too. She receives them and knows how to look at them, but she refuses to send one. Sigh. When we go somewhere, she refuses to believe that we have detailed enough maps on our phones and always offers to get a map for us. When she is in the car with us, she swears Google maps isn't up to date enough and it is sending us the wrong way.... She has over 200 contacts on her phone and refuses to use the search function, she wants to flip through them roladex style to find the one she wants and gets frustrated when the phone doesn't easily let her do that....

I manage the phones for our family which includes dh's grandmother. We had her on a Straight Talk phone and it was working fine for her until they announced they would no longer be supporting her phone model by the end of this year. Dh and I had just recently switched from prepaid to post-paid so we just added her on as another line (which was our free line) and got her a similar model phone. But she hates this phone because she claims it doesn't work when she is at work and her customers need to call her. Everytime, it ends up being some setting she has inadvertently changed. I've tried basically childproofing the thing so she can't change settings by accident and she still finds ways. Once, it was she had managed to turn the volume down too low to hear the ring tone. I turned it back up and showed her how to check it and how to fix it if it happens again. Most recently (this week), she somehow managed to turn on "Wi-Fi calling only" and wasn't getting any calls for three days before she noticed that it wouldn't call or ring and it said "Wi-Fi calling enabled" and didn't know what that meant. So she went out, bought another ST phone from Wal-Mart, identical to her old one, and wanted me to activate it for her. I showed her how it literally took 2 button presses to get that setting changed and instantly the phone worked as expected again. I locked that setting so it can't be changed as easily. We live in a rural area and she works even further out in the sticks, there are no wide area Wi-Fi networks here unless you go to Walmart or McD's, neither of which are even remotely close to her work. Nor does she have a computer or a wi-fi network in her house. First of all, if she wanted to go back to ST, all we had to do is reactivate her old phone, she didn't need to buy a new one. Just a time card was all she needed. I really don't understand why she gets her panties in a wad of the phone and does things like that before asking us if the phone is fixable. She knows we can fix it 98% of the time. But she still has the problem that they won't support her flip phone. I'm thinking at some point she is going to have to give in a get a touch screen smart phone even though she claims to hate them. She's never had one because she refuses to try, how can she hate it? I don't mind taking her off the phone plan if that is what she really wants and I don't mind managing her ST account, if that's what she wants (I've always managed her ST account because she claims to not know how to do it). So what do you do with an active almost 70 year old who still works 40 hours or more a week because she wants to that claims to need a flip phone because of all the dust and dirt in the air at her job? I've tried and tried to convince her that a smart phone can be made rugged enough for her job and her personality (we've fixed more than one phone that has been dropped in a sink full of water, the toilet, the bathtub, left in her pocket put through the washing machine....). But she insists that a flip phone is the only option available to her. I know they recently came out with a foldable smart phone but that is way out of our price range lol as are Iphones. Is there a smart phone that is active senior friendly?

The word "wanker" still makes my laugh because, at least among my American social circles, wanker isn't really used BUT I do have an American friend who has the somewhat unfortunate last name of Wanker. I still remember her telling the story of trying to make a Facebook account and being blocked from making an account and told by Facebook to use her "real name" because Facebook is all about authenticity blah blah blah... IIRC she actually had to send a photo of her driver's license into Facebook to prove that Wanker really was her real last name. lol

Yup, that was a favorite line of my abusive ex-husband. To which my response was almost always, "If everybody isn't laughing, it's not funny." Didn't deter him in the least but you can't change anyone unless they want to change. Sigh. @Corraleno That. Was. Awesome! :-D

Dh wants to wrap all of our wiring and fuel lines on our vehicles with capsaicin tape from Honda. We live in the country too and have issues with rats, pack rats, squirrels, chipmunks and any number of small rodents wreck havoc on our cars.

bump for update

I didn't read that "if" as she may or may not get him evaluations and services.... I read it as if she is going to get him evals, she understands that she needs to get his hearing tested too. I could be the one in the wrong here but I don't think she is considering not doing anything.

And just to reinforce that hearing test even more, my oldest could pass the tone test in the pediatrician's office with flying colors but he still couldn't hear properly. When I finally got the referral to take him to an audiologist. The audiologist told us within the first 5 minutes of the testing what was affecting his hearing, his ears were full of clear, uninfected fluid. So he wasn't getting ear infections for some reason, but he couldn't hear clearly. He was hearing everything underwater essentially. So, I would recommend an audiologist's hearing test, not just a tone test. A tone test is an easy way to detect deafness but not a very good way to decipher if a child is hearing speech clearly.

The fact that you can elicit the sound from him when you get him to focus is a good sign. It could be just a habit or it could be something more. As others have said, speech issues have nothing to do with autism or overall intelligence. Very smart kids can have speech issues too. Given his age and the nature of his errors, I would get him evaluated by the school district if nothing else. I know it might be harder in some districts than others but he should still fall under your states "Birth to Five" initiative. Depending on your family's financial situation, you might be able to get greatly reduced or even free speech session until he is five years old. Our local Headstart program runs the "Birth to Five" program in my area (don't know if they do in all areas) and they actually had special services for homeschooled children! It's worth checking and seeing if you qualify. You don't necessarily have to be below poverty level to get access to services.

I got my first gray hairs at 22. Whether it was an early sign of thyroid disease or the outcome of having 3 kids under 3yo at the time, I will never know. Probably both lol. But I've colored my hair since I was 12. Not because I didn't like my natural hair color but because coloring my hair was fun, lol. When I was a teenager, my parents would only let me do lighter or darker shades of my natural color which is a medium brown with a tendency for strawberry blonde highlights with enough sun exposure. As an adult, I've dyed it completely dark strawberry blonde (I've never bleached it so it has always had at least hints of brown), various shades of auburn and dark red and even purple (as recently as last year lol) because it's my favorite color lol. When I was in my thirties, particularly my early thirties, I colored with the intent to cover my increasing grays but the older I get the less motivated I am to do so. I'm in my early 40s now and there is no doubt I have a lot of grays but I guess I'm starting to embrace it? lol. My grays are very silvery and actually look like highlights in the right light. Some of my grays are difficult to differentiate from my hair's natural tendency to lighten with sun exposure. The only thing that gives some of them away is the change in texture. I wasn't sure what to put on your second question. I starting getting so many grays so young that I'd never really thought about what I would do with them and I had always enjoyed coloring my hair so I wasn't dying to specifically color them, I was just coloring because I enjoy changing my hair color now and then. Oh and I've always colored my own hair at home using everything from $5 boxes of dye from the regular store to custom mixes from beauty supply stores. The one time I let a hairdresser color my hair is the only time I have hated the outcome. I asked for light honey brown and she dyed it so dark brown that it was almost black. I spent weeks doing everything short of bleaching it to try and lighten it and finally gave up and just let it grow out. I've always been pleased with the result doing it myself, never had a bad experience. But I'm also of the opinion that it's just hair and it will always grow out if I don't like it. I'm not one to get terribly upset over a bad haircut or a dye job that doesn't quite meet my expectations.

Regarding contemplating divorce without being employed... Been there, done that. No, it's not easy but it's also not the worst thing in the world. Sometimes you have to do what you have to do. I did it and survived. If divorce is a very real possibility for her, part of her exit plan will have to be thinking about how she is going to support herself and how the education of her children will need to change to fit the new situation. It's a hard situation to be in, in more ways than one, but not impossible. ETA: Forgot you asked not to quote. Sorry about that.

Sadly, no it's still on my wish list, lol. I did get a hose kit for the shopvac that has the long handled floor brush and an extra long hose. We just have a small shopvac that I use for vacuuming around the house. The monstrous behemoth shopvac stays out with the tools unless I have a huge mess to clean up ( I considered dragging it out during the "let's wash the Big Joe bean bag chair" fiasco lol) Anyways, I still want the Eureka but the accessory kit I got for the little shopvac is doing an okay job for now. You'll have to let us know how it is if you do get it. 😉

I've found that large family groups/boards were always a bit slower than most boards, I always assumed it was because they have large families, lol. More kids = less free time, less free time = less time to devote to social groups. When by brood were still all or mostly at home, I had much less free time than I do now that 3 have flown the coop. I worried about the car situation as well but it worked itself out. Once I had teens old enough to drive, they usually preferred to drive themselves when we all went places. It wasn't long before we weren't all going places as a large family any more because they were graduating and becoming young adults with their own schedules and commitments. It was really a very short time when the logistics of getting a large family into vehicles was a 3 ring circus. I have noticed that my youngest, that isn't getting as much of the big family experience, isn't as independent as my older kids were. I have the time to do more things for him and I don't have to delegate as much just to keep the house maintained. My older kids were much more responsible and independent at his age because they had to be. I'm not sure what I think about that yet.

To overcome the problem of odd items I might not have around, I always look through a science curriculum before we start and put a post-it note about a week's worth of lessons ahead reminding me that an experiment with an odd item needed is coming up soon so that I might have the opportunity to grab it at the store if we are in town before then. If we don't go to town or for some other reason I can't get the item, I agree you can almost always find a video of the experiment. Not quite the same experience but it will work in a pinch.

I don't think these protect against bed bugs but we love these mattress covers and have been slowly getting one for all the beds in the house. Our concerns were urine from our last bed wetter and sweat because dh sweats profusely in his sleep sometimes. We're tired of just replacing mattresses lol. But you wouldn't even know these were waterproof covers, they are comfortable and don't make noise at all and do a great job of protecting the mattress from liquids. I imagine they would do a good job of protecting the sleeper from anything on the mattress as well but I've never dealt with bed bugs, knock on wood.

If they don't mind overly girly games, my girls found Pretty Pretty Princess at a thrift store and it became their favorite game. They can even play on their own if needed as there is no reading required. I even have pictures of my boys (who were under the age of 8 at the time lol) playing with them lol. My youngest son really enjoyed Uno and Monopoly Jr at 4 or 5yo. And Mancala but you would probably need a version without tiny pieces for a household with little bitties still putting things in their mouth. Hi Ho Cherry-o was another hit in that preschool age group. But again you have to watch the tiny pieces with little bitties. Crocodile Dentist, Trouble (here's a Frozen themed one) Buggo (such a cute game but it seems to be discontinued :-( It's from Ravensberger, maybe Ebay?) Jenga (they make sets for little kids) Count Your Chickens, really almost any of the games by Peaceable Kingdom

Mathgames.com has been great for ds who also freezes up when he is aware he is being timed. Some of the games have an obvious timer, some have a soft timer (kids don't necessarily realized they are being timed and the time limit is not emphasized, it just controls how quickly an enemy is defeated, faster they answer, the faster it dies) and a surprising amount of the games have no timer at all, they can sit there all day and it will wait for them.

Despite being small for my age as a child and looking like a stiff wind might blow me away, I was never athletically inclined because everything hurt! Hitting a ball with a bat sent pain all the way up my arm to my shoulder. Running and kicking made my feet and ankles hurt. I always came in last running the mile and everything hurt afterwards! I was told by my parents and teachers to stop whining, if it didn't hurt then I wasn't trying hard enough.... I never realized until recently that I shouldn't feel miserable after these activities, just a little sore maybe. My parents weren't keen on taking us to the doctor unless we were possibly dying or someone might call CPS on them if they didn't. By the time I was an adult, they had me convinced that I was just a whiner and had no pain tolerance so I didn't mention to doctors how much simple things really hurt. When it got to the point that I couldn't use my hands and I was on verge of tears from unexplained pain, I was diagnosed with early onset arthritis. I'm on the highest dose of Meloxicam and it keeps the pain from being tear inducing but it doesn't take it away entirely. My first labor was 6 hours, start to finish. All of my subsequent labors were less than 4 hours with the shortest one being 90 minutes. I have a son who looks like he could be the poster child for Marfans syndrome, another son who breaks bones if you look at him funny, a daughter who frequently subluxates her knees, another son with dysphasia, apraxia, sensory issues and more..... It's like so many seemingly unrelated things are just pieces of a larger puzzle. It really is frustrating that no one put all these things together before now.

So very interesting. My youngest son has childhood apraxia as well. I'm glad I put that on the history as well as his dysphagia as an infant and toddler even though it seemed unrelated.

My oldest ds's doctor tried to get him testing for Marfan's Syndrome, he definitely fits the tall and very long limbed criteria, but ex-husband wouldn't allow testing to continue because in his opinion I was just making it up.... After doing research on EDS, I can see different things in my other kids too that may point to EDS. I've looked up the newest criteria and I definitely fit enough for diagnosis. Hmm, I know my maternal grandmother has glaucoma. I don't know much else about other family members or exact causes of death. Talking to family members isn't really an option, but I have in the past pulled up genealogy information that included death certificates which sometimes gave an exact cause of death so that was somewhat helpful in filling out the paperwork. I don't remember seeing ruptured organs or anything like that. No idea if vascular is involved or not. That was my PCP's main concern is finding that out. I do have scoliosis, I have since I was a child. My maternal grandfather had it and my oldest son has it as well, all of which were noted on the family history they asked for. Should I take the MRI of my back taken about 2 years ago I think? The hospital it was taken at is a local one and even my PCP has had issue getting those images from them. But I should be able to walk out with the images on a disc and hand carry the to the genetics appointment if it would be helpful. Yup, pain, fatigue, gut issues, foot issues, multiple anaphylactic allergies, sensory issues, autism traits (which I've read several places that HFA and EDS can be comorbid, especially in women), tachycardia but not constant it seems to come and go.... Thanks for all the information! It really does help. ;-)

Oh, I have the date and time and everything lol. I just didn't post them for security sake. ;-) That's exactly what I'm wanting to do is make a list to take with me, but I realized that I really have no idea what to ask a geneticist as I've never been to one before for any reason. The receptionist who called me to make the appointment told me that the doctor only sees two EDS patients a week, hence the long wait. But I was expecting a long wait, This hospital is the largest in the area, a university hospital with many specialists. It's not uncommon to wait six months or more for an appointment in any of their clinics. It sucks to have to wait but dh just had brain surgery at this same hospital last year and we really liked how the whole thing was handled and how caring and accommodating everyone was for us. We're hoping that it will remain the same even though I'm going to a completely different dept. As for the bolded, I have no idea lol. In my immediate area, I can say no with 98% confidence for anywhere within a 90 minute drive. The hospital I'm being sent to is 3 1/2 hours away because they are the closest large hospital with a variety of specialists. I'm thinking that mine will also fall under the category of mild. I definitely meet all the needed criteria for diagnosis that I have found online. I just brought it up with my doctor last week since I met so many of the criteria based on my research, showed her where I could why I met it like the Beighton tests and she suggested a referral to the genetics clinic at the university hospital because she wants to know if I have heart and lung involvement so she knows if I need to be watched for those problems. Fortunately, I'm not really worried about it. For me, it's more of a relief that the joint pain and issues I've had since childhood might actually have a legitimate reason for hurting. Reading about EDS has been more of an "ahh, now I know why that happens" or "I had no idea that everyone couldn't do that" than a scary thing for me.

UPDATE - So I had asked my doctor some questions and she was able to get back with me today. According to her, I do have Ehlers-Danlos because I fit all the diagnostic criteria and the genetics appointment isn't diagnostic, it is to try an possibly pinpoint which type and find out if there is vascular involvement. Sooo... is this how one is normally diagnosed with Ehlers-Danlos? Just the Beighton tests in the dr's office and the questions? I am still going to go to the geneticist in July, or sooner if they can get me in sooner,. It just seems so.... I don't know, odd maybe?... to be told you have a debilitating condition, and you've had it all your life, after spending 20 minutes with a doctor that you have been seeing for almost the past decade. Granted, due to circumstances, I tend to hold back and not talk about my pain and so much of it I am just now learning that I'm not a whiner as I've been told all my life by multiple people, I actually am in an abnormal amount of pain.... My doctor is sending me to a genetics specialist this summer (first available appointment was in July, not surprising to me, but I am on the cancellation list). I'm suppose to be tested for genetic markers for EDS. I've already filled out their family history paperwork and turned it in. One of the questions asked if I had any questions and I couldn't think of any. What should I ask a genetic specialist? I have no idea. I tried google but all the information seemed to be aimed toward expectant parents. I'm not expecting lol. I really don't know what a geneticist can and cannot answer as this is one medical specialty I've never had any experience with. What does a genetics appointment for a middle aged woman who is not expecting even look like? Thanks in advance for any insight or tips anyone can give.

I have done similar and everyone survived. Just keep it covered to keep anything weird from finding its way in unexpectedly. (dust, hair, kid's fingers... you know just the usual lol)

Having had experience with meningitis, I would watch him but not take him in at this point. As long as the fever is coming down with tylenol alone, I wouldn't worry too much and just watch. If you are having to layer tylenol and ibuprophen to bring it down at all, I would take him in to urgent care or the doctor. If it continues to jump back up to 104-ish any time the medicines wear off for a full 36 hours or more, I would take him in to the doctor or urgent care. If neither tylenol nor ibuprophen are working to bring it down, even when layering them, I would take him to the ER. If he starts complaining of pain at the slightest touch anywhere on his body, I would go to the ER as soon as possible. That's how I would triage the situation at least if it were my child. YMMV