Me too (on both counts). I read Rubin's first book (The Happiness Project). While it was ok, I felt it was geared toward OCD, list-making types (not me). I hadn't kept up with her as a blogger or author since that time until this thread popped up & caught my attention.

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Looks great. Glad you went for it!

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I'm no help because I did this all the time when I was a kid, particularly at my grandparents' house because they had the best wooden kitchen chairs for doing it. My grandfather used to tell me that I was going to fall through the wall (behind the chair where I sat), but it still didn't stop me from doing it. I could sit for a very long time balanced on just two legs. I rarely do it now as an adult. You really need the right 'feel' of chairs to do it. I guess in divine retribution, my ds falls out of chairs or tips over fairly routinely & has since he was little. (He's 16 now.) And it's not because he's tipping it. We had to ban him from chairs on wheels because he was particularly prone to falling over/out of those. (My parents have chairs on wheels at their kitchen table, but when we eat over there, ds still, even now, sits in a chair without wheels. :lol: ) His desk chair here at home is on wheels & every once in awhile he will just crash over. I don't know if he just moves weirdly or is clumsy or what, but he & chairs on wheels (& sometimes plain old chairs) just don't mix well. Fortunately, we are all ok, as are all of our chairs.

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Is he gaslighting her to make her feel less confident, feel confused, question herself...? A book that may be of interest is How Can I Forgive You?: The Courage to Forgive, the Freedom Not To by Janis Spring. Another alternative that may help is for your sister to find a therapist for herself. :grouphug: :grouphug: to you & your sister.

I'm not a crafter, so I wouldn't be tempted to save them for that reason. If I did anything, I might take a photo of a few of my favorite shirts, then donate them anyway. Or, if they were comfy & soft, I might keep a few (very few) to use for pj tops to enjoy them that way (assuming you don't already have a glut of pj shirts).

You might want to look into participating in Nanowrimo (National Novel Writing Month) in the month of November: https://nanowrimo.org/

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I will have to look for those too. If you have a Fresh Market in your area, they do "Little Big Meals". We've tried various ones & enjoyed them. The ones we have tried have been fairly easy & quick to prepare. (I'm definitely not a cook & don't enjoy cooking, meal planning, or grocery shopping.) For those using delivery meal services, are there any that can handle having both meat-eaters & a vegetarian in the same family?

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I haven't had to really face dealing with other houses of stuff after death (except, a little bit, with my grandparents' homes), but I have always been touched by this essay from The Minimalists website (about how he dealt with his mom's death & her stuff that was left behind). I have no idea how I will handle things when they come for me to deal with, but it is something I think about. In the meantime, I keep trying to declutter, declutter, declutter. I have family members that are hoarders/borderline hoarders & I don't want to be there. I read a lot about decluttering & hoarding, partly in an attempt to understand & partly in the hope that there is not some genetic component that will kick in for me. I want simple. I want less to maintain. I read one of Don Aslett's books this weekend (Weekend Makeover), where he strongly urges you to declutter now. As in right now. Today. This weekend. Don't wait for free time, or time during your retirement, or whatever. The correct time is now. It is your stuff, you are the owner & one in charge of it, & ultimately it is you who needs to deal with it. It will not evaporate, it is unlikely to be stolen, & no magic fairy will show up to remove it. So, don't put it off. Make decisions, move stuff out & give yourself space now. I had already decluttered some recently, but after reading the book this weekend, I have more bags here that will be going out the door to Goodwill & books to the library used book center. He also has lists in the book of areas to think about when decluttering & I think those are very helpful. It is so easy to be clutter blind & not even notice stuff you aren't really using. After seeing some of his lists, I realized there are various athletic equipment pieces in our garage that can go. I don't notice them daily since they're not front & center, but it's time for them to find a new home. Kudos to all of you working on this. Decluttering is a hard, long, ongoing job.

:grouphug: :grouphug: , StephanieZ.

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