We left a private Christian school after first grade. Originally, the reason was that while there were three first grade rooms, there were only two second grade rooms and since we were moving before Dec, we didn't want to take a space of another kid. What I quickly realized was that the all ABEKA curriculum and the very structured school was too much for my son. His behavior at home greatly improved with homeschooling since he was less stressed.

To explain this better, it really is not that she can't wear a strapless dress (which she does wear with a bolero jacket) or spaghetti strap dress (which is in fact very like a 1940's dress and shows no cleavage, nothing particularly sexy at all). I am sure I would have lent her a shawl (and a thanks to Mrs. Mungo for an explanation of see-through shawls) or had her wear hers anyway. It was the way this was framed and the whole entire list of rules, one after another. As I said, do you all really think that a cute 1950's style sundress is immodest? My dd does not ever wear risque clothing of any kind. She is a private girl who wears rashguards on top of her swim suits and hardly ever shops in the junior department preferring the misses department either in thrift stores or in better clothes departments so she can get appropriate clothing. She has trouble at times finding clothes since she is 5'4.5 and anywhere from 103-106 lbs. That means she wears tiny sized clothing. First of all, I am not going to be making any scenes at all. SHe will go dressed in that spaghetti gown she bought and I will help her pin a shawl or do the other manuever someone suggested. My question with shawls and see throughness was because we have shawls that we bought overseas and they are certainly not made out of the same material you make clothes but they are not gauze either. I just don't like the policy and it irritates me as it does my daughter. For her, the event is the kind of thing that her psychologist who is working with her on anxiety issues recommends- getting out of her comfort zone. I doubt she will even dance. It would be good if she talked to some people there. They had signups for parents and I didn't sign up. Now I am very happy I didn't.That is what is wrong with these overbearing policies. They don't inspire confidence in shy girls, they encourage sly girls to see how far they can go or how daring they can be within the rules, they teach young females that what they wear is some kind of protective factor against unwelcome behavior. Then they go to college. I hear from many of these parents that the kids are going to schools known for their partying atmosphere. Even reading a book about a Christian college showed that not all is sweetness and love there.

We will use DIVE physics next year too. Right now I have EZ Physics but I might want something else too. Haven't decided yet.

Not only did neither of our parents help with our first house (both of mine were deceased by then) but they didn't help with our wedding either. But my mom was a widow with a terminal disease so we expected nothing and my in-laws were lower middle income but were horrible money managers so we expected nothing there either. Our houses were both with VA loans so no money down either time.

I probably will since most of the time, the rules are not strict at all. On the other hand, I think we may go to a different formal event next year. This is my daughter with social anxiety problems. I really don't need this extra stress. It really isn't the strapless or spaghetti straps without a shawl that gets me going. It is the whole thing wrapped up together including the assertion that by wearing a sundress, she would be a stumbling block or by wearing a fully covered up shoulders dress that ends an inch or so above the knee she is doing that too. As it is, nothing except the Chinese Dress (if sleeveless doesn't equate with bare shoulders) or one of her Indian Outfits works without adjustment. By the way, buying a bolero in a very small size is not easy work. It took us seven or eight stores before we found one that fit and it doesn't look right with either of the dresses she is thinking of wearing. So I think we have to go with one of the non see through shawls, whatever that is.

I totally agree Cyndi. That is part of what is getting me so upset. We are responsible for our own actions. In terms of why I think it has to do with Christianity, it is because it has a Bible quotation and says that Young Christian women should not be a stumbling block to young men. My oldest is 21 this week and I have had years of seeing teens at various functions. Only on very few occasions have I seen anyone wear clothing that I consider to be a stumbling block just by the clothing. Mostly it is the wearer acting in a certain way that is the stumbling block. Looking at the guidelines, I am confused anyway. What does no shoulders actually mean? SO if she did wear her Chinese type outfit that is sleeveless, does that violate this code? Then there is another part about see-through shawls. None of those either. I don't know what that means except if they are referring to crocheted or knitted shawls that have holes in them. Thanks for the suggestion about the shawl wear. I never have a problem so didn't really get what dd's having problems with keeping it on but she apparently does have a problem so I will try this with her.

I am not creative. I don't blog, journal, scrapbook, paint, or anything else like that. I read a lot, watch some tv and movies, love to cook and bake, and garden. Although we have an income above average, I don't spend money on hobbies beyond about $300 a year for new plants and bulbs. But although I have no need to be creative beyond making pleasing color arrangements in my garden doesn't mean others don't. My dh has a woodworking hobby and he makes very creative things. My son paints and draws. My older dd writes. Younger dd and I don't do anything creative. I do understand the op's question. I don't mind anyone having a hobby but what i have found in certain groups is that it is sort of assumed that you do scrapbook. Well, I don't and don't want to. I never had very good fine motor skills and arthritis hasn't made them any better. Happy scrapbooking to those who do and happy other hobby times for all the others.

Yes, she has a bolero she bought to go with one of the dresses so that she could wear it to church. She just thinks that it is the wrong color for the season (the bolero is black and the dress is autumn yellow). I am trying to convince her to wear a shawl which is acceptable but she is fretting about it falling down and then being chastised. And to the other poster, yes, we had problems with another co-op and dress. At least we got polo shirts there and could get them in the right size but no shorts for girls and we were in hot Florida. I really, really don't get this obsession with covering the knees. Frankly, I always thought that well fitting jeans which go all the way to the ankle are usually considered a sexy thing for a curvy girl to wear. There weren't any rules at either co-op about that. I just hate having Christianity turned into a Talibanistic exercise of measuring this and covering that.

The FAFSA says you are a dependent iof you are an undergraduate and less than 24 and not married, not have a dependent of your own and not in the military. Those are the main exceptions. My son, who will be 21 when he graduates college, will then be considered an independent for grad school. They don't expect parents to pay for grad school as well they shouldn't.

No, We don't own a stick so how would I do that? Even if I rented a car, they aren't allowed to drive it. I have arthritis and so we won't ever get a stick shift. (I have it in my feet among opther places and it is uncomfortable for me to keep using a clutch).

It is hard. I am trying to figure out a plan for number three. Numbers one and two were relatively easy for me because they were going to go to liberal arts programs. Not number three- she is likely to be a technical major so everything is different including that she doesn't want to read the kind of books everyone else in the family reads and certainly not the classics. Now I am not going to let her get away with skipping all the classics but then I am also having to think what is really necessary for her versus what I did for the others. For my first, I just had him read the list in the WTM. The whole list (or almost everything) and he did it and learned a lot. Just handing this one a list won't work. You have my complete sympathy and empathy.

My oldest had Boy Scouts, summer programs, theater, art, choir, and youth group. He did a lot of community service with the boy scouts and more with the youth group. I figure all my kids should do community service. This is a requirement I have for graduation. My second has done choirs, debate, library volunteer, Honor society (lots of volunteer work), youth group (more volunteer work), soccer, and dive, and summer programs. My third, who is starting high school in June, will start off doing swim and dive team and she will also volunteer this summer but she hasn't chosen where yet except for VBS group leader. I am going to look for engineering competitions for her for next year like maybe joining a robotics group.

I think I forgot to say that this is for a senior high school formal.

I have to say that I hate fuddy duddy homeschool rules. Dd is petite, pretty, and modest. I can't see what is wrong with her wearing a beautiful ballgown that is not low cut at all but has spaghetti straps. This is my very self-conscious girl and she has been wearing gowns that require strapless bras for the last three years. She knows how to wear it. She looks fabulous in it but not at all provacative. The rules are so stringent (no spaghetti straps, no strapless, no backless, nothing above the knees, etc. etc.. How about just saying tasteful and classy? Looking at the pictures from this party last year, I can see that many girls put on what seemed to be their mother's dresses from 20+ years ago. Uggh!! My girls never wear trampy clothes. I don't need to stop them. However, my older dd has a close to perfection body and unless I put her in a burka, boys will notice. So far it hasn't been any problem since she takes after me and has a killer look if someone bothers her (she wouldn't use it on a polite interest but has used it on rude comments from people). Any wonder that I won't send my daughters to a overly religious school? I don't like legalism and I don't like it that my dd is not supposed to wear any of the tasteful gowns and dresses she has (and has worn to church) except maybe her Indian gowns or her Chinese gown. She has with her own money been buying gorgeous ball gowns at thrift stores (she wears anything from a 0-4 and adult women tend to outgrow those sizes rather quickly) and I even bought her a dress for Easter where she was standing up in front of the church singing in the youth choir. As I said, none of these dresses pass these ridiculous rules (which I didn't know about when I paid the money). They say they do this to not have the guys sin. I am completely perplexed how come a view of her shoulders would cause sin or a glance at her knee. Those are definitely not the most attractive features on her (or on anybody since I think knees are sort of ugly and shoulders are okay on women but not the attractive feature they are on men). I remember some insane survey some time last year where just about every piece3 of clothing was making some guys sin. I just think that I am fortunate that my teen wants to wear nice gowns and nice jewelry versus putting on dog collars (as another girl in the co-op does), having wild unkempt hair and a bad attitude (a boy in the same co-op), or paying more attention to her looks than her schoolwork (a few kids at least at this same co-op).

All of my kids will go away for college. In the case of my oldest, we were living in Belgium when he went to college. He had no viable local option. He did go to a college for 2.5 years and then got sick. He is finishing going to a good state university with a strong program in his major that just happens to be about 5 miles away. Now we are hoping that we don't get transferred before he graduates but if we are, back to dorms or to a shared apt. he goes. For our next one, we won;t know where we will be living when she actually goes to college when she is applying (unless we do move this summer). Obviously she has to apply to places she wants to attend and we will move wherever the AF sends us. IN the third ones case, she needs to go to an engineering school and she is also our most social one. Going away to a good engineering school is what's in store for her. We don't know where we will be living but I do know that I want her doing basic engineering, math, and physics courses at a good school and not at a CC. SHe can do things like calculus or other science courses at CC but I would expect her to do more advanced calculus and other math at the school she chooses, Now in terms of EFC, I have tried the calculators. They are saying we should be able to pay 44k and that isn't counting any savings since our savings are below the threshold that they count. I can well tell you that we do not have anything like that kind of money. WHat we are planning for number three is that she is a very smart girl going into a very male dominated field and even more unusually, she is also an extrovert. I think that will bring in enough merit aid that it will be affordable for us. (Once my dh retires and gets another job plus retirement, I think we will be able to afford something like 25K). 44k is simply out of the question when we don't have much savings and we don't own a house and only own older used cars.

My favorites are: The Stand, Desperation, and Needful Things.

Both dh and I have advanced degrees and as long as we can, we will help the kids with college. One has a year or less left. He is currently living at home and we pay college, books and transportation though we expect him to work this summer and pay for books next year. If we have to move, we will help pay for a room and board but will expect him to borrow the rest. For our next, we have set it up that her college tuition is paid and if she decides to go to law school, we may help some. FOr our third, we think she may be able to get substantial scholarships (female in engineering), but we are preparing to help her significantly if needed. In terms of cars, our son isn't getting a car from us. Our older daughter may get a car from us if it turns out it is more economical that having her fly back and forth and also if transportation at her college is iffy. SHe has medical issues and needs to be able to get to specialist appointments. In that case, we will give her our 04 car and get a newer used car for me. I don't know yet what my last child will need. Weddings- I will only help with Christian weddings. How much we help depends on what they want and what the situation is with my dh's job. I think of big weddings as primarily parties for the bride's parents and so it really depends what my dh's social obligations are at that point.

I am one who believes that for many people, a college education or even higher education is a very good investment. It was for us. My husband does have skills that don't require college but he wouldn't be making anywhere near the salary nor having the benefits he does now if he had used those. Furthermore, without his college degree and subsequent employment, he would never had had the opportunity to develop this other skill he could use for employment. Now this doesn't mean that people shouldn't consider future salaries in college educations. I don't think it makes sense to borrow a lot to go into a low paying occupation. But to borrow maybe the same amount and go into an occupation that pays higher than median income of all adults right from the start sounds like a very wise investment. It all depends.

Mine is that I am Christina (shortened to Chris for the board name) and I am a transient due to our frequent moves courtesy of the US Air Force.

WHat a good report. Glad it went well. Hope the negotiations or the resolution come out in your favor. Prayers.

I think that part of the problem is his age. He is not the typically age who are finishing cc. He started early and considering his grades, that may have not been the best idea. Since you have already said that the farm will not be going to him, I think it behooves you to figure out how to best get him raised as a productive adult. ALthough dairy farming is not an intellectual profession, it is many steps above being a laborer since normally the farmer owns his own business and acts like a business owner. Holding out for possible UPS jobs in the future doesn't seem like a viable option. IF you are near the poverty level, he should be able to get financial aid and low interest loans for further education. ANother option could be to look at the National Guard or Air National Guard.

We are in Northern VA too and this is where I grew up though I have no more family here (I only have one brother living and he is in LA). But neither dh nor I want to retire here. After living here for the last 1.5 years, if he changed his mind and really wanted to stay here, I guess I could do it for a while. He is thinking about going into industry for a short while and then onto the federal govt since he hears that is an easier way to become a SES. I am really unsure. I guess as long as I don't have to do the moving, it won't be too bad but I am really starting to look forward to living in one place. I love to garden and I particularly like perennials and that is a bad hobby to have when you move every two to three years. Now my absolutely perfect job is one that came open in 2004 and I wish would come open when he is ready to retire. Then we would go back to living in Wallonia, Belgium. I really love Belgium would be really happy going back to live there for a while again.

Growing up I knew two people who had this done to them when they were little. One guy was the oldest of five and he was my brother's friend in college. He went to the local college because he was still needed by his father to help with raising his younger siblings. They had no idea where the mom was because she never appeared. For whatever reason (maybe she took money?) the kids and the Dad didn't think it was foul play. The other kid was a girl in my high school. Her dad had disappeared after calling her and telling her (as a child) that he was coming home and bringing her something. Again, it wasn't foul play. BUt this girl had obvious problems from the abbandonment. She was incredibly smart but it was so sad what her father did to her. Her psyche was not okay at all.

My dd is self studying AP USHistory. SHe will do it the first week of May. I told her that she should do her best but it really isn't a big deal since we don't have to report the score to anyone. SInce she is a good writer and a very hard working student who will be studying most of the next two weeks for this, I think she will probably get at least a 3 which is fine.

I did not say nor imply that I was better than anyone. I am a Christian and one of the verses that I always remember is "All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God". I count myself as a sinner. That does not negate that I think as Mari does that it is the wisest decision for the OP to do something about her situation along with getting FS. That is not a permanent solution and other bad things can and do happen. AS some others have stated, I am against waste of all types. I am obviously not against fighting the terrorists but I don't consider that a waste. I do think there are wasteful programs in defense, often insisted on by congressman who have certain defense plants in their districts. BUt I do not agree with extravagant junkets and I don't know how you got from my statements that I don't think OP should apply for FS> I said only that it isn't a permanent solution and I agree with that. I don't think aid should be a permanent situation except in rather rare circumstances like disabled people who can't work at all and other special cases. For normal people, I think that the plan that was enacted by President Clinton was a good one- maximum five year assistance.