I have a new respite provider, and this one is honestly much, much better than the last one. But, of course, she's not perfect, and last week she was just going on and on about how if (when?) I put my son in school (this is not even on the table), he would need a 1:1 aide. She said that he's so intelligent, but that he will need to learn to function without said 1:1 aide if he ever wants to get a job in his chosen field. I need this like a hole in the head. Of course, I felt the need to educate her about why a 1:1 aide is not the answer to all of life's problems. She was pretty good about it, but still! I'm sick of people treating me like I make the decisions I make because I'm uninformed.
So then today, my son started a new gym & swim class. This class had more kids than he was used to, but otherwise everything was the same as his last one (just a different day.) He has a 1:1 aide for this class, and he did poorly because there were too many kids and he just couldn't function. He was laying on the gym floor and grabbing people's things by the bleachers. He's been having behaviors since we left.
I'm just feeling so discouraged and like I can't possibly do the right things for him given the options we have. Would it kill someone to just say something encouraging to me! "Hey, I noticed your son got invited to a birthday party because a kid actually wanted him there!" "Hey, your kid just explained density to me, good thing you have him in an environment where he can pay attention and learn!" "Hey, your kid was the only one in his group to move up to the next level in swimming!" NOPE. It's always "you suck, your kids going to fall on his face in 15 years because of your bad decisions." That's what it sounds like to me at least.
Wow, I'm sorry I missed this yesterday. You've got a lot going on! And congratulations on moving up in the swim lessons!!
I agree, it's a BIG DEAL!! My ds was very slow to move through levels, so I had to sit there watching class after class as all the other kids passed and he didn't, session after session. Now he's on swim team and kicks butt, but there was a long time there where it was really kinda need the kleenex just to go to class, sigh. Btdt, very hard. No one wants your kid to struggle.
Can we back up? What is his current diagnosis, how was that gotten, and how old are we talking? If you would fill in your sig, that would help. I know we've read your posts before and chatted, but I just cannot remember. Anyways, I'm assuming your darling is young. That's really over the top for a respite aide to be giving you a long-term prognosis. That's really something a psych should do. That's their job, not the job of an entry-level respite worker. That's a mildly trained babysitter. Or this person is an RBT? Like woo, big whoop, REALLY QUALIFIED there.
I've had SLPs offer their opinion on my ds' diagnoses. Actually I had a reading tutor tell me she wasn't sure his labels were correct. I had another SLP give me medical advice and tell me what prescriptions I should be on. Seriously, I've concluded the lower trained these people are, the more entitled they think they are to an opinion.
And to think I have to see some of these idiots again! Gets really interesting and wearisome dealing with fools and people who take a class or two and feel free to work outside their qualifications.
Ok, that said, sure your ds might need a 1:1 aide in school. So what? Like really, does that mean he has horns and isn't a lovely person? Or does it mean that everyone on the team would be committed to getting all the intervention he needs to get where he's going? ALL that matters is that he is surrounded by people, people working together as a team (with apparently you, but maybe a behaviorist as the team leader) who are committed to making happen what is best for him.
Timetable doesn't matter, level of intervention doesn't matter. It's not like it's something to be ashamed of. What you should be ashamed of is ps settings where they WON'T provide the needed level of services for a dc to succeed. That's something for the ps to be ashamed of! But to have a dc need them? Big whoop, move on.
My kid has an IEP. It's ugly and thick and it says things you don't want a file to say. Oh well, move on. The point is to surround him with a team of people all working together and making happen what needs to happen. THAT is where you put your energy.
Does this worker have a boss/supervisor? If she does, I would tell the boss your worker was out of line so the boss can give her a friendly reminder. I know how hard aides are to find, so it's not like you can just willy nilly fire. But the supervisor could give her a little bit of instruction there.
What do you want to change? What do you want to make happen?
And did he get invited to a b-day party? That's awesome! Did he go yet?