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#51 PollyOR

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Posted 04 July 2010 - 11:51 AM

I played more with my youngers, and I wish I had enjoyed my older more when he was still their age. I learned from him that the years go by too fast and you don't ever get that time back.


As a mom of a grown child, I am in agreement. Everyone told me she would grow up fast, but I didn't truly understand until she was gone. Even though I know I should lighten up and have more fun with my youngers, I still find myself being the responsible mom. It's hard to change.

#52 joyofsix

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Posted 04 July 2010 - 05:05 PM

Not exactly regrets, but things I would do differently

~pull ds from PS in K when it was obvious he wasn't ready
~start RS sooner
~read out loud to him even more
~realize sooner that he can remember more if we learn while he is wiggling/jiggling/jumping than when he is forced to sit still
~pay more attention to the toddler and work later in the day, even if it doesn't work best for me

#53 deeinfl

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Posted 04 July 2010 - 06:31 PM

I regret leaving the course I originally started. When I started homeschooling in 1999, we started with Alpha Omega lifepacs and paces. My kids thrived with them and we had a great first year. The children were done with their work by 12-1 p.m. Monday through Thursday. They usually did a page extra every day and took Fridays off for library trips or a field trip. They took so many books out of the library and read and read and read all day long. They did crafts and had time to be children. They wrote stories, and were very happy.

In 2000 I got on the internet and learned about homeschooling forums. I read how these workbooks that I was using were horrible, and the worst thing you could use to educate your child. That left me in a horrible confusion and there started my discontentment with curriculum. Each year I tried something different: CM, unschooling, delight-directed, bits of the WTM, prepared unit studies, my own unit studies, relaxed homeschooling, eclectic homeschooling.

Thankfully, my children still thrived with whatever they did, but I feel that in the end the constant changing from year to year hurt them. There was no real continuity to their studies and some days it seemed like school dragged on forever.

Thankfully, I'm pretty much done with curriculum discontentment and am at a nice eclectic balance of self-instructional curriculum. I'm even back to some Ace paces. We no longer jump from thing to thing, or from new fad to new homeschooling fad. In other words, we make it fit us, and not the other way around. It has to really, and I mean really bring tears or be very confusing now, for us to switch to something else once decisions are made. (only homeschooling 2 now)

My biggest advice would be to stay the course that you find best fits your family, even if 100 families write about how horrible that course is or was for them. For your family, it will be successful because there is no one as unique as your family! :)

This is the only thing I would do differently.

Dee :)

Edited by deeinfl, 04 July 2010 - 08:38 PM.


#54 Robin in DFW

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Posted 04 July 2010 - 11:39 PM

that is the only regret that ever tugs at my heart...

#55 LynnG in Arizona

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Posted 05 July 2010 - 02:12 AM

I regret leaving the course I originally started. When I started homeschooling in 1999, we started with Alpha Omega lifepacs and paces. My kids thrived with them and we had a great first year. The children were done with their work by 12-1 p.m. Monday through Thursday. They usually did a page extra every day and took Fridays off for library trips or a field trip. They took so many books out of the library and read and read and read all day long. They did crafts and had time to be children. They wrote stories, and were very happy.

In 2000 I got on the internet and learned about homeschooling forums. I read how these workbooks that I was using were horrible, and the worst thing you could use to educate your child. That left me in a horrible confusion and there started my discontentment with curriculum. Each year I tried something different: CM, unschooling, delight-directed, bits of the WTM, prepared unit studies, my own unit studies, relaxed homeschooling, eclectic homeschooling.

Thankfully, my children still thrived with whatever they did, but I feel that in the end the constant changing from year to year hurt them. There was no real continuity to their studies and some days it seemed like school dragged on forever.

Thankfully, I'm pretty much done with curriculum discontentment and am at a nice eclectic balance of self-instructional curriculum. I'm even back to some Ace paces. We no longer jump from thing to thing, or from new fad to new homeschooling fad. In other words, we make it fit us, and not the other way around. It has to really, and I mean really bring tears or be very confusing now, for us to switch to something else once decisions are made. (only homeschooling 2 now)

My biggest advice would be to stay the course that you find best fits your family, even if 100 families write about how horrible that course is or was for them. For your family, it will be successful because there is no one as unique as your family! :)

This is the only thing I would do differently.

Dee :)


What a poignant cautionary tale! Regardless of the actual curricula involved, I bet your message is one that many of us could stand to take to heart.

I've spent the last few months pondering how to find the balance between constantly changing curricula (at one extreme) to stubbornly refusing to change curricula (at the other extreme). I really struggle to find that prudent middle ground.

Dee, thanks for sharing your story. I am happy to hear that your kids are thriving despite a few wrong turns along the way! :)

#56 IsabelC

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Posted 05 July 2010 - 05:01 AM

I would like to put more time and effort into art and craft activities. It's something that I always mean to do but don't get around to very often. I have heaps of good ideas and resources, but it just hasn't happened. I think I subconsciously resist because I know that art with my kids will involve and hour long struggle to stop them from destroying everything followed by a heap of cleaning up. And also because I find it a challenge to relax and let them create rather than controlling and aiming for nice 'showable' output.

Another thing I would like to improve on would be spending more time with my little one. Somewhere along the line while I wasn't looking, she has gone from being a baby who was happy to play and breastfeed all day to an almost 2yo who is ready to take part in drawing, painting etc. So I need to work on including activities for her into our day.

#57 MelissaMinNC

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Posted 05 July 2010 - 07:17 AM

Actually I lucked out with MFW for K and 1 and then with Living Books Curriculum, but I wish I'd had a better understanding of why we've been doing what we're doing.


Hey, we're living parallel lives. :) I used MFW for K, then stumbled around a bit for 1st and 2nd, read up some on Charlotte Mason, and started using LBC last year for 3rd. Love it so much - wish the forum there was more active.

We'll be starting LBC 4th and MFW K in about a month. And I now have a 3rd little (tho none of mine are red.) And, we're in NC - we should all get together!

(Sorry for the tangent!)
To answer the OP's question - hmm. I wish I had been a little more confident with teaching math. I wish I had been more confident, period. Then I could have relaxed a bit and had more fun. I'm looking forward to starting again and enjoying it all a bit more. Poor dd, she'll probably always be a bit of a guinea pig.

:)
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#58 PamInMN

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Posted 05 July 2010 - 08:11 AM

I regret leaving the course I originally started. When I started homeschooling in 1999, we started with Alpha Omega lifepacs and paces. My kids thrived with them and we had a great first year. The children were done with their work by 12-1 p.m. Monday through Thursday. They usually did a page extra every day and took Fridays off for library trips or a field trip. They took so many books out of the library and read and read and read all day long. They did crafts and had time to be children. They wrote stories, and were very happy.

In 2000 I got on the internet and learned about homeschooling forums. I read how these workbooks that I was using were horrible, and the worst thing you could use to educate your child. That left me in a horrible confusion and there started my discontentment with curriculum. Each year I tried something different: CM, unschooling, delight-directed, bits of the WTM, prepared unit studies, my own unit studies, relaxed homeschooling, eclectic homeschooling.

Thankfully, my children still thrived with whatever they did, but I feel that in the end the constant changing from year to year hurt them. There was no real continuity to their studies and some days it seemed like school dragged on forever.

Thankfully, I'm pretty much done with curriculum discontentment and am at a nice eclectic balance of self-instructional curriculum. I'm even back to some Ace paces. We no longer jump from thing to thing, or from new fad to new homeschooling fad. In other words, we make it fit us, and not the other way around. It has to really, and I mean really bring tears or be very confusing now, for us to switch to something else once decisions are made. (only homeschooling 2 now)

My biggest advice would be to stay the course that you find best fits your family, even if 100 families write about how horrible that course is or was for them. For your family, it will be successful because there is no one as unique as your family!
:)

This is the only thing I would do differently.

Dee :)



:iagree: :cheers2: I've come to the same conclusion!!! Three cheers for us! :D

#59 LynnG in Arizona

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Posted 05 July 2010 - 11:26 AM

I would like to put more time and effort into art and craft activities. It's something that I always mean to do but don't get around to very often. I have heaps of good ideas and resources, but it just hasn't happened. I think I subconsciously resist because I know that art with my kids will involve and hour long struggle to stop them from destroying everything followed by a heap of cleaning up. And also because I find it a challenge to relax and let them create rather than controlling and aiming for nice 'showable' output.

.


:iagree: I can identify with this!

#60 Cadam

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Posted 05 July 2010 - 11:46 AM

I wish I would have relaxed with my oldest, been more involved with what he was doing and just let him be a little boy a bit more.

#61 poodlemama

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Posted 05 July 2010 - 12:46 PM

I regret leaving the course I originally started. When I started homeschooling in 1999, we started with Alpha Omega lifepacs and paces. My kids thrived with them and we had a great first year. The children were done with their work by 12-1 p.m. Monday through Thursday. They usually did a page extra every day and took Fridays off for library trips or a field trip. They took so many books out of the library and read and read and read all day long. They did crafts and had time to be children. They wrote stories, and were very happy.

In 2000 I got on the internet and learned about homeschooling forums. I read how these workbooks that I was using were horrible, and the worst thing you could use to educate your child. That left me in a horrible confusion and there started my discontentment with curriculum. Each year I tried something different: CM, unschooling, delight-directed, bits of the WTM, prepared unit studies, my own unit studies, relaxed homeschooling, eclectic homeschooling.

Thankfully, my children still thrived with whatever they did, but I feel that in the end the constant changing from year to year hurt them. There was no real continuity to their studies and some days it seemed like school dragged on forever.

Thankfully, I'm pretty much done with curriculum discontentment and am at a nice eclectic balance of self-instructional curriculum. I'm even back to some Ace paces. We no longer jump from thing to thing, or from new fad to new homeschooling fad. In other words, we make it fit us, and not the other way around. It has to really, and I mean really bring tears or be very confusing now, for us to switch to something else once decisions are made. (only homeschooling 2 now)

My biggest advice would be to stay the course that you find best fits your family, even if 100 families write about how horrible that course is or was for them. For your family, it will be successful because there is no one as unique as your family! :)

This is the only thing I would do differently.

Dee :)


Dee, That's exactly what I ment... Thanks for saying it so well!:001_smile:

Lindsey

#62 JMDRAD

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Posted 05 July 2010 - 03:00 PM

My dd just finished first grade. I don't think I really regret much. She learned a lot this year and had a blast. I do wish I would have ordered WWE sooner though. She does struggle with writing out sentences and can be a little lazy. But I don't think that this should be too much of a problem to catch up on.

#63 cottagechick

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Posted 05 July 2010 - 03:15 PM

I'm able to get a second chance with my younger guys. With the olders, I wish I hadn't fussed so much over curriculum. I have learned that the best curriculum is the one *I* can teach or work with....even if it's not a great fit for a particular child, I have learned how to explain stuff in ways some learnig types can grasp. And it isn't that hard.

I wish someone had told me there are basically 2 ways to homeschool:
1) As a lifestyle, meaning that it's my full-time 8-hour-a-day job. I tried to 'fit' homeschooling into my life instead of letting it direct our activities. Using lots of literature and using curriculum that must be taught (as opposed to self-teaching) is a FULL TIME JOB, and I needed someone to tell that to me straight. I would've spent a lot less time being bitter about loss of time to do other stuff.

2) School at home, meaning the kids are basically on auto-pilot as much as is reasonable. Then there would be time for other things besides schooling.

Neither is better....I've done both in different seasons over the last 13 years, but I wish at the very beginning someone had laid it out for me....it would've helped as I was juggling 4 under 10 at the time and pregnant and/or nursing the last two.

Oh, and I wish I'd been better (and I still need to work on this) at playing with the kids and directing their playtime a bit more.

#64 FlutterbyMommy

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Posted 05 July 2010 - 03:49 PM

In my first year, my biggest lessons have been 1) remember the goal and don't lose sight of it and 2)do not duplicate modern schooling with surveys of subjects rather than digging deeper and taking more time.

I have learned both of these lessons from BTDT homeschoolers and they are priceless. Because I homeschool, peers and family can be more critical and I allow myself to fall into the comparison trap. I begin to wonder if my child is able to pass certain standards and am concerned whether I am challenging her enough to stay on par with other school students.

This leads to structuring a day and studies more similarly to standard schools. However, that negates one of the main benefits of homeschooling. I can work at my childs pace and gear learning more to her nature.

That actually leads to a 3rd lesson, which is remembering the nature of a child. This is a big lesson for me I am trying to wrap my head around more. Modern education has glossed over a child's nature in constructing learning processes, which is a big mistake.

So I try to remember I am not in a race. I am not duplicating the modern education system at home. A perhaps most importantly, my child is a unique creation and I have a unique opportunity to gear the process of gaining wisdom and knowledge to her nature and needs.

After one year under my belt, I am more flexible, humble, and aware of what I have left to learn. I understand that this is a journey, a process. I don't have regrets, but rather more wisdom which will only come with more experience.

#65 phathui5

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Posted 05 July 2010 - 03:51 PM

Buying 1st grade Saxon math. That was a waste of money for our family.

Yelling at the older two about doing schoolwork. I'm trying to be more relaxed about it.

#66 angela in ohio

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Posted 05 July 2010 - 06:15 PM

I'm one who is really, really glad I wasn't more relaxed. :001_smile: I don't have a lot of regrets: either in specific choices, because even things that didn't work (a co-op, a curriculum, etc.) helped me refine my methods; or in general methods, because it has served us well so far.

The one thing I would change would be handwriting: I should have made my girls practice it much more. :glare: I would also have started refreshing and updating my math and programming skills sooner, as I did with literature and history.

#67 tampamommy

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Posted 06 July 2010 - 12:17 AM

If I could do it over again, I wouldn't spend as much time wondering if my dc were "getting everything they needed" academically when they were young.

No real regrets here. Lots of things I would do over again.
I am glad I spent hours snuggling with them and reading stories.

I am glad we decided from the beginning to only turn the tv on for special events like the Olympics.

I am glad they did not start sports early and that when they did, it was their idea.

I am glad they did not have a lot of exposure to other children when they were very young. I think as a result, they are both very confident in who they are and are not easily influenced by their pre-teen and teen friends now.

I am glad I let them get super-dirty and play in the mud and in the rain. I am glad I took them out to play every day no matter what the weather. I am glad I let them pick up worms and all sorts of bugs.

I am glad we had lots of tickling time rolling around on the floor.

I am glad I had quiet times for them almost every day until they were 6 or 7. As a result, they learned how to entertain themselves. As older children, that ability has been transformed into incredibly interesting hobbies. I learn so much from them.

In hindsight, I know starting Latin early is no big deal. We tried it in 3rd grade, but it wasn't nearly as fun as reading on the sofa. We did Spanish in a relaxed fashion for a couple years, but it wasn't nearly as fun as climbing trees and catching butterflies. In 5th grade we casually did Latin for Children A (with little written work).Now in 6th and 8th, Latin is a real subject for both of them and they're doing great. The English grammar they have under their belts makes it much easier. They'll get plenty of Latin to be helpful on the PSAT/SATs and to be a base for a science career if they choose one.

And your second question...I'd flip it around...I actually think that what to use to teach reading now is a more complicated decision than it was for me 10 years ago. Phonics Pathways was it then. And I didn't know of much else. Now there are so many options it can be very confusing. I'd still go with PP.

Enjoy your second year with them. Remember you get to raise them once!

#68 Amy713

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Posted 06 July 2010 - 07:27 AM

We just finished up our second year of homeschooling and I do wish I had relaxed more during those years. I did a fair job of easing up on both of us this past year. If I had those two years to do over, I would worry not at all about state requirements, reading, etc and play play play. One of the reasons we chose to homeschool was to give our daughter the best possible education, which, I learned, doesn't mean doing school at home. What it does mean (at least for us) is that we have time to read, to explore and to question everything! It doesn't always make for an easy, smooth day, but I like to think she'll become a thoughtful and generous adult who questions authority and votes wisely, among other things. Of course, some days I think I've damaged her so much that she'll end up living in a van down by the river! Luckily those days are few and far between...

#69 ThelmaLou

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Posted 06 July 2010 - 08:02 AM

I regret:
Pushing my children to tears and sometimes making school pure drudgery.

Not taking enough field trips and doing enough fun projects.

Letting read-alouds slide as seatwork got more involved.

Being a slave to the textbook and not thinking outside the box.

Not doing enough planning in the summer in order to make each school year go more smoothly.

I'm thankful:
That the Lord seems to have a way of filling in the gaps in my children's education without me.

That my kids had daily "rest" or nap time for several hours every afternoon during which they listened to loads of audiobooks and made amazing creations out of lego, k'nex, etc...

That we have not allowed ourselves to get behind in math

That R&S grammar as been at least the 1 curriculum we haven't ever changed.

That I've not allowed my kids' time to be consumed with technology (TV, games, ipods, cell phones, etc... We do have tv and ipods, but their roles are very limited.)

That my kids are watching and helping us serve friends and family in need. I'm praying that they value giving the gifts of time and energy in love to others.

That my kids are at home enough to learn how to take care of the house and lawn.

That my husband leads our family spiritually.

#70 Susan in KY

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Posted 06 July 2010 - 08:28 AM

So in hindsight, what specifically do you wish you had done differently?


I would have used Right Start when they were really little instead of starting Singapore at the Early Bird stage. I would have used Right Start until 2nd grade, then switched to Singapore in grade 2 and begun with 1A/1B.

Other than that, I am very pleased with my choice to allow for lots of fun and play in the early years. Relaxed is good through grade 3. :001_smile:

#71 Guest_aquiverfull_*

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Posted 06 July 2010 - 08:55 AM

I regret not researching teaching philosophies and methods; ie: CM, classical, LCC, etc. earlier on. I waited too long for this and my the oldest I homeschool is going into 6th grade and I'm still not sure where we fit. It's resulted in multiple curriculum changes and we are still trying to find our groove.

I also regret not teaching good character traits in the early years and having a stricter homeschool. Memorization, copywork and dictation are all things I wish I had done earlier.

Edited by aquiverfull, 06 July 2010 - 08:59 AM.


#72 BlsdMama

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Posted 06 July 2010 - 09:55 AM

I regret reading about classical education, living books, and Charlotte Mason.

I'm only 1/2 kidding... If I'd never known I could have blissfully educated in a "school at home" manner. I wish I'd read about it 15 years down the line and just lived with the regret instead of exhaustion and guilt. That would have been nice.

Ten years into homeschooling and I can say my oldest child has had an amazing education. Unfortunately there are eight children in this family and I really can't say the same for the rest of them. Above par, yes. To the bar I previously set? No. And I'm not sure it is even possible.

#73 Holly

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Posted 06 July 2010 - 10:28 AM

I regret being so relaxed. Everyone told me to let them learn on their own, and I constantly read to be relaxed with hsing. I've since come to realize that doesn't work in our house. I think a big part of it is that I'm not organized enough. :blush: I know it works for many families...just not for mine. Unit studies wore me out and left me feeling guilty and defeated. I don't think my DD is where she should be. Next year we'll be using HOD and I feel so much peace with my decision. I'm hoping my kids will thrive with the combination of structure and fun in the HOD lessons.

#74 LynnG in Arizona

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Posted 06 July 2010 - 10:42 AM

Of course, some days I think I've damaged her so much that she'll end up living in a van down by the river! Luckily those days are few and far between...



Ok, can I just tell you how much this cracked me up? Love, love that Chris Farley skit :lol:

This probably is my ultimate fear as a homeschooling mom. Kind of. ;)

#75 tracymirko

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Posted 06 July 2010 - 12:52 PM

I regret being so relaxed. Everyone told me to let them learn on their own, and I constantly read to be relaxed with hsing. I've since come to realize that doesn't work in our house. I think a big part of it is that I'm not organized enough. :blush: I know it works for many families...just not for mine. Unit studies wore me out and left me feeling guilty and defeated. I don't think my DD is where she should be. Next year we'll be using HOD and I feel so much peace with my decision. I'm hoping my kids will thrive with the combination of structure and fun in the HOD lessons.


Holly, thanks so much for sharing this. I think that I am a lot like you. I try very hard to be more relaxed, but the reality is that if I don't plan and schedule it, it does not get done. And because I am not that organized, I really need a program that tells me what to do. And dd is the same way. She will do anything that I have put on the calendar. But she will resist anything she does not know about ahead of time. I sometimes feel guilty for not being more relaxed, but I think this is just the way we both function best. (Now my up and coming student is not like this at all, so it will be interesting to see what happens when ds is old enough to put a wrench in things!)

It is really hard to walk the line. I have decided not to worry if an occasional lesson or even whole day is skipped because we decide on a field trip or get sick. I have purposely decided to put off some things like grammar and foreign language, just to make sure my kids have time to just be kids--sort of trying to balance out our need for structure.


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