senunk Posted June 4, 2009 Share Posted June 4, 2009 My dd13 will be starting 9th grade this fall. She is a sweet, intelligent, happy girl that loves people. She's just not that into school. She does her schoolwork. She works hard. She doesn't want to go to college. She wants to go to cosmetology school, maybe take a few classes at the local community college. She hopes to eventually find the right guy and get married and be a home schooling mom. What is wrong with that? When I tell people she doesn't want to go to college, I get all kinds of negative responses, like I'm totally failing her. Or, maybe it's the cosmetology thing that people find less than optimal. She can't even think of anything she wants to be to go to college for. She might change her mind, but really, even if she wanted to go to college, we would go the cc route first. Well, I guess I just needed to vent. Anyone else go through this? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grace is Sufficient Posted June 4, 2009 Share Posted June 4, 2009 My 14 year old who's just finishing 9th grade says that she doesn't want to go to college, though that is a change from a few years ago. One thing I'm considering at this point is to have her 'dual-enroll' completely for her last two years of high school so that she has an associates degree when she finishes. It may be better than nothing... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
specialmama Posted June 4, 2009 Share Posted June 4, 2009 I'm not going through this, but I'm of two minds when it comes to this: first, I'd be inclined to say that minimum one year of cc is mandatory. Second, I'd hold my head high to those asking, and say "she hasn't decided. Whatever she chooses is fine with me." There is nothing wrong with wanting to be a mom, or a homeschooling mom... but you know this. :001_smile: I think people want to hear her interests more than anything else. Perhaps wording responses differently would appease them. "Oh she loves animals, so we may be looking into animal sciences, or maybe not..." ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
home2333 Posted June 4, 2009 Share Posted June 4, 2009 Dual enrollment that will give her an associates degree when she finishes high school is a great idea. Since you said she is a hard worker, she will probably be able to complete that load even though she's not too interested in school. And who knows where that cc experience will lead. The important thing is to let your daughter pursue the path she's dreaming of. Grace Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
senunk Posted June 4, 2009 Author Share Posted June 4, 2009 One thing I'm considering at this point is to have her 'dual-enroll' completely for her last two years of high school so that she has an associates degree when she finishes. It may be better than nothing... We may do some dual enrollment, but she would like to go to cosmetology school her senior year. When she graduates hs, she would have her license and a skill that would provide a flexible job while she goes to cc. I would want her to go to cc because it would be good for her. She also wants to be a youth group leader. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
senunk Posted June 4, 2009 Author Share Posted June 4, 2009 Second, I'd hold my head high to those asking, and say "she hasn't decided. Whatever she chooses is fine with me." Perhaps wording responses differently would appease them. "Oh she loves animals, so we may be looking into animal sciences, or maybe not..." ;) Aaaah. Vagueness. I think I need to learn that. :001_smile: Thanks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnitaMcC Posted June 4, 2009 Share Posted June 4, 2009 My dd13 will be starting 9th grade this fall. She is a sweet, intelligent, happy girl that loves people. She's just not that into school. She does her schoolwork. She works hard. She doesn't want to go to college. She wants to go to cosmetology school, maybe take a few classes at the local community college. She hopes to eventually find the right guy and get married and be a home schooling mom. What is wrong with that? When I tell people she doesn't want to go to college, I get all kinds of negative responses, like I'm totally failing her. Or, maybe it's the cosmetology thing that people find less than optimal. She can't even think of anything she wants to be to go to college for. She might change her mind, but really, even if she wanted to go to college, we would go the cc route first. Well, I guess I just needed to vent. Anyone else go through this? We raised our nephew since 4th grade and he has always hated school. He just didn't like doing the boring stuff at all-LOL. And most of school was boring. I wish we could have homeschooled him but we couldn't... he was a state ward living with us so public school was only option. He felt forced to go to college right out of high school. Well he failed big time!!!! He is very bright, scored a 27 on the ACT. He just isn't into going to college. And now he has $6,000 student loan that is a waste of money. I am a firm believer that not everyone is college type and there is nothing wrong with not wanting to go to college. There are many options available. Trade schools, learning a trade on own, starting own business, community/jr colleges, just take a few courses of interest, etc. I also firmly believe that everyone needs to learn to do something to support themselves as adults to the best of their ability. So if that is what every teen is doing, then they are on the right track. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lolly Posted June 4, 2009 Share Posted June 4, 2009 My eldest does not want to go to college either. She would like to be a make-up artist for theater/movies. I am hoping she will complete 2 years at the local community college. So, anyone know anything about getting into the make-up biz? I'm thinking it would require a cosmetology license to start. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sophia Posted June 4, 2009 Share Posted June 4, 2009 My 13 y.o. dd has always stated she wants to be a sahm. I think it's great she feels free to make that choice before spending thousands of dollars on college and grad school like her mom did.:tongue_smilie: Not going to college doesn't mean she's not going to be educated, though, and that's what we tell people who question whether we should force her to go to college. I'm really proud of her and think she's going to make a terrific wife and mom someday. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peela Posted June 4, 2009 Share Posted June 4, 2009 I wouldn't be surprised if neither of mine go to university, but they both actually think they are because their friends all plan to, and so they think that's what you do. :) . I think they had better know what they want to do and be clear about it though...its too expensive to go just because your friends are doing it. They will both be entrepreneurial though so I am not too worried. I suspect both will go to TAFE- I am not sure what the U.S. equivalent is, but its for more practical skills- apprenticeships, business studies, vet nurse, furniture maker, art....thats where i intend to send them even if they dont know what they want to do...and they can go from there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mollies73 Posted June 4, 2009 Share Posted June 4, 2009 When I was growing up, all I wanted to be was a SAHM. My dad said I had to go one year to college. If nothing else, perhaps I'd earn my Mrs. degree - haha. Anyway, I'm now a SAHM, and it was what I was born to do. My husband is so sweet when people ask him what his wife does, he says that I'm fullfilling my life's ambitions and work harder than he does. I tell my kids, whatever you do, do it to your best ability. I don't care if they choose to drive a trash truck or be an MD. Where would we be if no one picked up trash? Both are important. More than education and career, I'm praying that my children are kind, respectful, loving, moral, helpful, and chose to make a difference wherever they end up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
senunk Posted June 4, 2009 Author Share Posted June 4, 2009 You have all been very encouraging to me. She loves kids and is going to be a great mom. Again, I am learning to not care what other people think and to make decisions that are best for my family. You'd think I'd have that down by now. Thanks again! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jelbe5 Posted June 4, 2009 Share Posted June 4, 2009 My dd will be 14 this summer and sounds very much like your dd. She loves to read and write, but says she does not want to go to college. Right now I tell her to keep her options open. I hope to give her a strong high school education. I will encourage her to consider attending our local CC for vocational training or perhaps an Associates in Child Development (she also loves children . . . around here home daycare is a great option). One thing I want to make sure she learns is how to run a home more effectively than I do . . . I went to a college prep high school and never made time to learn basic skills on how to run a home. My mother worked outside the home and did not make time to teach me . . . I feel I really lack in this area. I never learned how to sew because I figured I would never need that skill if I was working outside the home. Now I see how learning to manage a home is a great calling, especially in this economy. A friend is going to give my us sewing lessons and I am very excited. All my home ec skills have been learned "on the job" and it has not been easy for me. I hope my dd will be better equipped to be a SAHM than I was. I am looking forward to learning with her during the next few years! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veronica in VA Posted June 4, 2009 Share Posted June 4, 2009 I see nothing wrong with wanting to go to cosmetology school or anything trade or vocation related. Even if she changes her mind later and decides to go to college, she will have a career that will enable her to pay for college and not incur huge amounts of debt. While both my husband and I are college graduates I think the emphasis some people put on college while dismissing vocational and apprenticeship programs is misguided. I always told my children that I hope they go to college. However, both dh and I told me that if they do not go to college, then they need to have to plan what else they will do and saying you want to play video games in my house for free does not cut it.:glare: We need tradesmen - electricians, plumbers, etc in this world! Veronica Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sandra in NC Posted June 4, 2009 Share Posted June 4, 2009 My eldest does not want to go to college either. She would like to be a make-up artist for theater/movies. I am hoping she will complete 2 years at the local community college. So, anyone know anything about getting into the make-up biz? I'm thinking it would require a cosmetology license to start. University of NC School of the Arts offers a degree in Wig/Makeup design http://www.ncarts.edu/designandproduction/programs.htm#WigandMakeup Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyatHome Posted June 4, 2009 Share Posted June 4, 2009 You described my dd who just graduated. I made sure she finished the requirements necessary to enroll in college , but I am looking at opportunities to use her interests and talents without attending college. She would be an awesome event planner. I'm trying to find an job/apprenticeship for her in that area. The skills she would develop doing that she could use while following her dream of being a wife and mother. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Myra Posted June 4, 2009 Share Posted June 4, 2009 But don't rule out a change of heart down the road so make sure she has the skills to enter college if she so desires. My sister hated school. I think she skipped school more than she attended! I'm sure if she went to high school these days she would have been in some truancy home!!! Ha! But guess what...she is now a dean at a small college!!!! And I who loved school - got a BS and Masters Degee - taught school forever...now I'm a stay-at-home mom that home schools her kids! GO figure!! Myra Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NCSusan Posted June 4, 2009 Share Posted June 4, 2009 Wow! My dd 14 sounds like a copy of your dd. She is 14, a hard worker but doesn't really care about school. She would love to also go into cosmotology and modeling or possibly be a dancer. Her love right now is swimming which she does competively and is learning many good life lessons. I do not see her going to college and we talk honestly about it. I have just explained that her high school years will be taking the classes required to go incase she changes her mind- which they seem to do a lot during these years. College is not the answer to all. I think it can be a big waste of money and time for many. I have one niece who went as a English Major and received her degree and now works at the Gap!!! I am just so grateful that we have so many options for continuing education. My prayers are for my dd's to learn the skills they need to be independent, be able to think and reason well to make good decisions in this crazy world, and find a job to support themselves that they can use the gifts God has given them and enjoy life. Don't worry about the responses about not going to college- they are probably the same ones that worry about homeschool children not being socialized!!! Susan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pamela H in Texas Posted June 4, 2009 Share Posted June 4, 2009 My son says he doesn't want to go to college. And I'm not positive he could be successful in college (strong LDs despite being very bright). We'll just see in time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
senunk Posted June 4, 2009 Author Share Posted June 4, 2009 My dd will be 14 this summer and sounds very much like your dd. She loves to read and write, but says she does not want to go to college. Right now I tell her to keep her options open. I hope to give her a strong high school education. I will encourage her to consider attending our local CC for vocational training or perhaps an Associates in Child Development (she also loves children . . . around here home daycare is a great option). One thing I want to make sure she learns is how to run a home more effectively than I do . . . I went to a college prep high school and never made time to learn basic skills on how to run a home. My mother worked outside the home and did not make time to teach me . . . I feel I really lack in this area. I never learned how to sew because I figured I would never need that skill if I was working outside the home. Now I see how learning to manage a home is a great calling, especially in this economy. A friend is going to give my us sewing lessons and I am very excited. All my home ec skills have been learned "on the job" and it has not been easy for me. I hope my dd will be better equipped to be a SAHM than I was. I am looking forward to learning with her during the next few years! I can relate to this. You've given me something to use....from now on when she complains about chores, I can call them home prep classes, you know instead of college prep. :rolleyes: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
senunk Posted June 4, 2009 Author Share Posted June 4, 2009 But don't rule out a change of heart down the road so make sure she has the skills to enter college if she so desires. My sister hated school. I think she skipped school more than she attended! I'm sure if she went to high school these days she would have been in some truancy home!!! Ha! But guess what...she is now a dean at a small college!!!! And I who loved school - got a BS and Masters Degee - taught school forever...now I'm a stay-at-home mom that home schools her kids! GO figure!! Myra One of the reasons I like the idea of her going to cosmetology school is because she might decide to go to college. It would be a great job for her while taking classes. It would be a useful skill to have for her family, and for her mom! :001_smile: Think of all the free haircuts, but maybe not while she's practicing...she has a sister for that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4wildberrys Posted June 4, 2009 Share Posted June 4, 2009 My dd will be 14 this summer and sounds very much like your dd. She loves to read and write, but says she does not want to go to college. Right now I tell her to keep her options open. I hope to give her a strong high school education. I will encourage her to consider attending our local CC for vocational training or perhaps an Associates in Child Development (she also loves children . . . around here home daycare is a great option). One thing I want to make sure she learns is how to run a home more effectively than I do . . . I went to a college prep high school and never made time to learn basic skills on how to run a home. My mother worked outside the home and did not make time to teach me . . . I feel I really lack in this area. I never learned how to sew because I figured I would never need that skill if I was working outside the home. Now I see how learning to manage a home is a great calling, especially in this economy. A friend is going to give my us sewing lessons and I am very excited. All my home ec skills have been learned "on the job" and it has not been easy for me. I hope my dd will be better equipped to be a SAHM than I was. I am looking forward to learning with her during the next few years! Wow---your life experience sounds exactly like mine! I am still having a heck of a time learning 'home ec' and it has all been on-the-job-training. I also went to those college prep schools, had a working mother who never felt it was necessary to pass on skills---but then again when she started her career, she got a housecleaner and basically did nothing around the house but cook! My dd really isn't too interested in college either---but we live in a nasty redneck mountain town and so leaving is essential if our kids don't want to become alcoholic bar rats with 3 divorces and 4 kids from 4 different dads (YES---its really that bad here). :glare: There is absolutely nothing, nothing wrong with learning a trade and it's too bad that in our world of 'outsourcing' there is not more emphasis and encouragement for kids to learn a skill that is concrete and employable in person. College certainly is not the answer for everyone! I was forced into it---and also walked away with a mountain of debt and no degree---well, my 'Mrs.' degree and a wonderful 'job' right now using skills not touched on at all in college prep high school or college. I've never once used Precalc to balance a checkbook, or balancing those pesky chemical reaction equations to clean my house. I love the advice about creative wording too.......... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.