Aubrey Posted May 9, 2009 Share Posted May 9, 2009 I know that's silly, but...there's no routine, no sense of duty. I can look around & see that the house that was immaculate on Wed is TRASHED, & I could clean it...if the baby wasn't crying every time I put him down, if the kidlets would do *anything* I say... They're really good, really obedient most. of. the. time. Today? They're just...spacey. And messy. Like drag out every pillow, blanket, stuffed animal, etc. you own messy. I told them to clean it up & they could build forts. They said they didn't want to build forts. Every time I tell them to pick something up (today), they start doing it, get distracted by their imaginations, & start playing again. But something about the lack of goal for today, the lack of human contact for the last 2 weeks, dh's illness (& thus lack of assistance for the last week) is making me MEAN. I probably ought to hide back here & just let them play, but...it's so...I don't know. Grouchy-making. :smash: I called my mom. She said to take them to McDonalds. :blink: :smilielol5:Or bribe them. The thing is, bribing would just make it worse. They mean well, they're just zoned. Whatever I offer them, they wouldn't earn, & they'd just be disappointed, & I'd be crankier. But I hate to be that person who shoots every. single. idea. down, so I told Mom that one was great. *Sigh.* There's just so much I need to do, so much I *want* to do, & I hate to lose/waste time. But...today's feeling like sunk cost already, kwim? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Posted May 9, 2009 Share Posted May 9, 2009 They are probably feeling the same loss of structure you are. I've found through the years that my children often (too often) mirrored my own emotions. Not pretty, sometimes. I have a different structure for Saturdays....I shift gears from homeschool mommy to garden gal or quilting queen. Perhaps you could make Saturdays a special craft day or going to breakfast out day or field trip day. Or make Saturdays clean the house day. Whatever suits you. Once you establish a structure, everyone relaxes and can do their work, knowing when it is done, they can play. I used to do similar things with meals. I need structure to keep me focused. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted May 9, 2009 Share Posted May 9, 2009 Yep, you need a different plan for Saturdays. I'll do a lot of housework on Sats but I'll have movies going all day, so that I have something to listen to while I'm working. Mine are so much older than yours, I think when they were younger we mostly played on Sats. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aubrey Posted May 9, 2009 Author Share Posted May 9, 2009 Well, what do you know--I guess Mom was right. I went in there & they were almost done cleaning their mess in the living room. I told them that we needed to finish that & fold & put away the laundry & they could watch a movie. We've got the Liberty's Kids DVDs from the library, & they're in there in a clean living room watching it, happy as larks. Baby's about to go down for a nap, & I *know* a shower will make the world look better. (I just wish I wasn't the only one who ever cleaned it. :glare:) ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted May 9, 2009 Share Posted May 9, 2009 Good, now the rest of your day will be smoother! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scrapbookbuzz Posted May 9, 2009 Share Posted May 9, 2009 Glad things are going better for you. If I lived closer I would have said, "Let's get the kids together to wear each other out and you and I can have some coffee (tea, soda, etc) and some adult conversation!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted May 9, 2009 Share Posted May 9, 2009 :gnorsi::grouphug: Sending you lots of empathy, sympathy and a hug. I always turn into the drill sgt. mom when dh is away and I don't like one bit either. Hope your hubby is back to himeself soon and you can find a few minutes to yourself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted May 9, 2009 Share Posted May 9, 2009 Hmmm.. Whenever everything annoys me and I'm really angry at everyone, it turns out that it's my cycle. Without fail, I'm just rabid for that day right before my period starts. Everything makes me so ANGRY on that day. Once I realize it's ME that's unreasonable, I can deal with it a little better. (By letting the kids watch movies and staying out of their way, when I am overly-irritated.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sahamamama Posted May 9, 2009 Share Posted May 9, 2009 Your children are spacey and distracted and bored because they are missing parental leadership. When there is no definite sense of direction for the day, children sense that you are sort of letting them.... roam.... free.... ;) And so that's what they do, to fill up the time. But after the past several weeks of carrying the load on your own, the truth is that you are tired. You are tired, Aubrey. Not lazy. Not uncaring. And not mean. It's a load, and you've been keeping it all going. Now you are tired. I have these days, too, with a 4.5 year old and two 2.5 year olds, and my husband working late and weird hours. Some days, the twins do not, um, respond graciously to parental direction (TRANSLATION: They throw a fit when I say, "No"). Some days, the 4.5 year old becomes the Bossy Big Sister and this drives the rest of us nuts. Some days, they do that pulling-out-the-pillows-and-every-little-toy-in-the-house type of "play." How will you turn this day around? It might, like you said, be too far gone to turn it, but then again, the main point to keep in mind is that YOU ARE TIRED. First, tell your husband that you are burning out and ask him to (at least) pray with you (if you believe God answers prayer). Second, tell your children that you are tired and ask them to pray with you (ditto). Third, forget the house until you are rested. Fourth, either (a) put ALL the kids down for a nap and TAKE A NAP YOURSELF (no cleaning) or (b) skip the nap and try to get them all down a bit early tonight (then GO TO BED, Aubrey -- no cleaning, no laundry, no cooking, no computer, no books, no TV, just rest). You need to sleep. Is your husband well enough to read to 1-2 of your children? Is your mother or someone available to take the olders to McDondalds for an hour or two while you rest? Is it possible that the children are also tired/cranky because of the illness/stress, and a bit more rest would help them, too? Then, maybe tomorrow or Monday, if the weather is nice where you are, maybe you could get them all out to a park or some place where THEY could run off some pent up energy and YOU could get a change of scenery... some fresh air and a little walk with the baby in a stroller... ? I don't know, sometimes when I get like this, I do need to rest, but then, afterwards, I feel cooped up and need to get out and let the girls run, run, run. I hope this helps, and I'm praying for you. Beth in NJ :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sahamamama Posted May 9, 2009 Share Posted May 9, 2009 I just wish I wasn't the only one who ever cleaned the shower. :glare: ;) I was mumbling the same thing the other day, and my mom said, "Sweetie, I've been married for almost 50 years to your father and he has NEVER cleaned the shower.... so get used to it." I think that's the point! I don't WANT to get used to it. Fifty years! Humph! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ElizabethB Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 I was mumbling the same thing the other day, and my mom said, "Sweetie, I've been married for almost 50 years to your father and he has NEVER cleaned the shower.... so get used to it." I think that's the point! I don't WANT to get used to it. Fifty years! Humph! Well, my husband cleans the shower every year or two...when we move! I clean it on an ongoing basis, but when it needs to be 100% spotless to pass inspection, he has the muscles to do it, I don't. I'd rather he cleaned the shower less often, he'll be cleaning the shower again this summer and next summer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 Get some cheap shampoo, give your 8yo an old scrubby and let him loose in there. You will probably have to 'let' ds 6 clean it next week....lol. If they can keep the lower part clean all you have to do is do the top! Same with the toilet... Sorry your feeling lost today, hope you get your grove back soon. Can you assign the kids a few chores to help out (even if you don't need it done, like cleaning the pantry or wiping out the fridge? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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