PineFarmMom Posted April 17, 2009 Share Posted April 17, 2009 ...how would you handle it? I'm not talking police involvement. I'm talking about the "I'm here for you" type thing. She is trying very hard to hide it but I'm seeing many signs. There's nothing big I can hang my hat on to confront her. I have been trying to excuse some of what I'm seeing, but I know that something. just. isn't. right! I know there was past abuse, but have been told that is not there now. Experiences have made me feel that that isn't true. It is very obvious the mom is doing all she can to hide this from outsiders, so me just coming right out and saying anything doesn't seem like the best option, but I don't know. I've been praying hard since our last encounter, and I just don't feel a peace at all about the situation. T Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newlifemom Posted April 17, 2009 Share Posted April 17, 2009 Don't have any advice, but I will pray. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TammyinTN Posted April 17, 2009 Share Posted April 17, 2009 Could you tell her that you were there if she needed you and you wouldn't be judgmental? This is really hard...my heart breaks with stuff like this. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blueridge Posted April 17, 2009 Share Posted April 17, 2009 That is so very sad. You are kind to want to be involved. If it is true, I imagine the embarrassment is more than she can take. I might approach her in a comfortable environment...maybe ask her over for tea or to the local coffee shop or park...and tell her that you are 'sensing' that she may be needing a listening ear. She has seemed distant or troubled about 'something' and you would love to help her sort out her thoughts and feelings. You want to be her confidant and there is nothing that would shock you to hear. Tough situation, but sometimes they are quietly screaming for help. If she is not willing to disclose anything, just giving her the knowledge that she can come to you in the future may be all she needs right now. Abused women so often protect their abuser with their silence. Praying~ Ginger Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LizzyBee Posted April 17, 2009 Share Posted April 17, 2009 What I've done in that situation is simply let the mom know that if she needs a safe place to go, my home is open. I feel like that's something I can say even if she won't admit there's any abuse currently going on, and no-one has ever gotten mad at me for saying it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted April 17, 2009 Share Posted April 17, 2009 You may not be able to do this: we put some money in a separate account and told her that she would have access to in the event that she needed to leave her home. Our friend took us up on it. She needed to be able to be financially able to leave. She's gotten some training so that she can get a job (part of the abuse was that her husband wouldn't let her keep current on any job training so that she would be forced to be dependent on him). She's even paid half of it back (which we did not ask for but was important for her own self esteem as she's started to get on her feet). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassenach Posted April 17, 2009 Share Posted April 17, 2009 You may not be able to do this: we put some money in a separate account and told her that she would have access to in the event that she needed to leave her home. Our friend took us up on it. She needed to be able to be financially able to leave. She's gotten some training so that she can get a job (part of the abuse was that her husband wouldn't let her keep current on any job training so that she would be forced to be dependent on him). She's even paid half of it back (which we did not ask for but was important for her own self esteem as she's started to get on her feet). That's really amazing of you, Jean. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted April 17, 2009 Share Posted April 17, 2009 That's really amazing of you, Jean. Actually it was my dh's idea. It blew me over when he told me that he thought we should do it. We took most of our emergency fund to do it but God has blessed us and we have an emergency fund back again! (over time - nothing miraculous or anything). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tree House Academy Posted April 17, 2009 Share Posted April 17, 2009 I am hoping you are only referring to the mom that is in the abusive situation. She, being an adult, can make these choices and all you can do is be there for her. However, if there are children involved who are being abused as well, please please please call the police, CPS, or someone to help the children. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted April 17, 2009 Share Posted April 17, 2009 . It is very obvious the mom is doing all she can to hide this from outsiders, so me just coming right out and saying anything doesn't seem like the best option, but I don't know. I would bring it up in conversation IN LIGHT of someone else. Something in the news, some celeb. Be attentive but not really loading the subject with emotion. Make it seem like you'd be a sympathetic ear. But watch her kids like a hawk. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Friederike in Persia Posted April 18, 2009 Share Posted April 18, 2009 I am hoping you are only referring to the mom that is in the abusive situation. She, being an adult, can make these choices and all you can do is be there for her. However, if there are children involved who are being abused as well, please please please call the police, CPS, or someone to help the children. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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