S/O red flags thread-advice on avoiding having to get into someone else's car

[Kfamily]

This is just some advice to all parents. I was reading the thread about red flags and then further into about the mom who got into a man's car. I just wanted to share something about me as a young women (19 or 20 and also still not wanting to offend an adult). I was the oldest of five and my parents were in a very busy and difficult time in their life so I was far more independent than I was probably ready for. I was in college and worked almost full time. I lived on campus but in an apartment. I had to pay for my own living expenses like rent, groceries, gas, etc. (my parents did help with books, tuition, car insurance and my car was old but paid for by them.) I was on my way back to school on a Sunday night after having been home with my family for the weekend and had no money, no credit cards and was driving an older car. My mom had sent me back with groceries but I was too proud to admit how short on money I really was. I thought I could make it on the gas I had. I didn't make it and my worst nightmare came true. I was a young woman stuck on the side of the highway with no gas and no money. This was when there were no cell phones. I had to walk and was very scared about a car stopping. A car pulled over and a very nice couple offered me a ride. Even though they seemed harmless I still had to weigh in my mind if I wanted to chance the ride or keep walking and risk someone more evil pulling over. I wondered what I should do. I took the ride and the couple had a dd my age and wouldn't have wanted her to be in my shoes. They were very nice and drove me to the next exit where I quickly called my parents. So I shared this to say to all parents with children of driving age to be sure they have enough gas or money to stop for it before leaving. Of course we do have cell phones now!! My dd(12) does not have one but she will get one as soon as she turns 16 to keep with her.

[Joanne]

{{hugs}}

 

When I was in college, I was driving home for summer break. I, too, had no money. I stopped for gas at a small, privately owned station. The owner's son, a young man about my age, told me my tire was bald and I "couldn't" drive home on it. (I lived in NJ and went to college in NC). His Dad confirmed the reality that it was unsafe.

 

I had no money. My parents did not have credit cards. There were no cell phones; no ATMs. On a promise from my parents, they replaced the tire.

 

My mom sent a check the moment I got home.

[Kfamily]

I'm so glad we both made it safely out of those situations. Thanks for sharing with me Joanne.:001_smile: There are lots of good people willing to help rather than hurt. But, just to be safe a little gas money is always a good thing!!

 

P.S. After this happened, my parents always made sure that I and my siblings had gas money. In fact, it became one of those questions my mom always asked before any of us left.

Edited April 13, 2009 by Kfamily

[Hen]

I was on my own young, my mom and stepdad gave me a place to live, but that was it, I paid for everything. I had an old, crappy car, paid for. I broke down several times and just managed to make it off the freeway. I always called home and got a ride, had triple A for a tow.

 

One night my car broke down and I only made it to the off-ramp. I was young, small,..my worst nightmare, a man stopped to help me. I was torn with not blocking traffic/not wanting to get into his truck/not wanting to hurt his feelings...he saw my hesitation, I was in tears, and he offered to push my car with his truck to a gas station.

 

My girls will never, ever be in that sort of situation.

[teamturner]

When I was 29 yo, I was on my way home from work and I had forgotten that I was very low on gas. My car runs out of gas while I'm in the left hand lane of the loop in Houston so I have to pull over on the inside. There are 5 lanes to cross which at rush hour was impossible. I did not own a cell phone and it was dark about 7 p.m. The traffic was going by so quickly that it was shaking my little car. I finally decided that I would get out and stand by my car so that someone might stop. I was out there for about 20-30 minutes when someone on the other side of the highway stopped on the inside of their side of the highway. A man walks over and asks if I need help. I told him I ran out of gas. He told me to get in his truck and he'd take me to a gas station. I asked him if he had a cell phone I could use (they were not the thing they are today back then) and he did not. He told me again that he'd take me to get some gas, just hop in his truck. I was hesitating and asked him again if he had a cellphone. Finally, after he offered again to take me to get some gas, I said that I'm sure he is a nice person but my husband would never forgive me if I got into a car with a stranger. The look on his face was like a lightbulb went off and he understood my hesitation. He then told me he would get some gas and come back. Which he did!!! He put the gas in my car and followed me to a gas station to make sure I was okay. Once there, I told him I had no cash to pay him but I could get some from the bank machine right there. He said that was okay, just have a Happy New Year! There are good people around but you just have to be careful. I will never forget his kindness!

[MomOfOneFunOne]

Well, here's one for you . . . one night in the middle of the night I was driving home from college. It was the middle of the night and I was around 18 maybe 19 years old. On the looooooong turnpike home, I passed a truck and a bit later passed a woman walking. I pulled over to give her a ride. To my suprise it was a man with long hair.

 

He approached the window, looked at me with great suprise, looked in the back, back at me, and then just stood there for a minute. I asked if he would like a ride. He hemmed and hawed and stammered around for a while and finally said, "yes, but your sure going to get an ear full on the way." And I did! That man proceeded to lecture me up one side and down the other for 1) driving alone late at night at my age 2) stopping to pick-up anyone in the middle of the night and alone and 3) especially picking up a man (I didn't tell him I thought he was a woman but it wouldn't have mattered). I tell you he lectured me till he was blue in the face. He had a girl my age and if he ever heard of her stopping . . . on and on . . .

 

By the time I got him home he was so worked up he was going to go right in and wake up his daughter and give her the lecture I should be getting from my own daddy and he'd ask me for my phone number so he could call and tell my daddy on me for stopping in the middle of the night to pick up strange men but he was afraid I'd actually give it to him and then that would be a whole new talking to he'd have to give me.

 

Seriously, that was over 20 years ago and I bet he's still telling that story!

[Pajama Mama]

The mom who got into the car was me. Please don't think that I believe that any man that offers someone a ride is a danger. I should never have gotten into his car. He kinda made me feel guilty for doubting him. So I listened to him instead of my own common sense.

 

I've had a couple good experiences with being on the road as well. I've had people stop when my car overheated on the Schuykill Expressway in Philly. A few people offered rides or cell phones. I didn't need them because I had already walked a mile to the call box(and back) for a tow truck. The one lady offered to stay with me until the tow arrived. I've had folks offer to jump start my battery when it wouldn't start in a parking lot.

 

There are many good hearted folks who want to help. Unfortunately, there are those who have made it necessary for people(especially women alone) to be cautious.

[unsinkable]

I was on my own young, my mom and stepdad gave me a place to live, but that was it, I paid for everything. I had an old, crappy car, paid for. I broke down several times and just managed to make it off the freeway. I always called home and got a ride, had triple A for a tow.

 

One night my car broke down and I only made it to the off-ramp. I was young, small,..my worst nightmare, a man stopped to help me. I was torn with not blocking traffic/not wanting to get into his truck/not wanting to hurt his feelings...he saw my hesitation, I was in tears, and he offered to push my car with his truck to a gas station.

 

My girls will never, ever be in that sort of situation.

 

I wish I had that kind of assurance for my own future, let alone that of my children. I mean, cars break down. For me, the situation is how to safely deal with it.

 

My parents died when I was a teenager, so there were times I literally had no one to turn to in a crisis. But I can't say my kids will never be in that situation. I have no way of knowing. None of us do.

[Peela]

Ugh. I used to hitch hike, alone, in the country. I have gotten into men's cars...and amazingly, never been hurt or close to it.

And I look back on those days (I was virtually a street kid for a short while) and roll my eyes at myself. However, I had an incredibly strong survival instinct, and very strong intuition.

And my kids will, I hope, never need to be in the position I was in...but I hope to train them to have just as keen a sense of survival and intuition because the world seems to be getting more dangerous, not less.

[Kate in Arabia]

I've had similar situations twice, once I ran out of gas on the highway and got into a semi with a guy who offered to take me to get gas. I was even thinking as I was climbing in, "you know it's at this point in the movie where you start shouting at the girl to not be so stupid to get in the truck!" But the man was very nice, and he did also caution me about getting into trucks with strangers.

 

The second time was a carjacking, and fortunately I only ended up with a black eye (and kept the car).

 

I know I won't be able to protect my kids from everything, but I hope to equip them to deal with what might happen. In the second case, I had trained for years in a martial art -- it didn't help me in a physical defence way, but it did help me not to panic and think about what I could do to escape.

[melissel]

Kfamily, I totally hear you. I had a similar situation as a young woman, with a broken-down car and no credit card on the Garden State Parkway at 11:00 at night. A random tow-truck driver stopped for me, and I had no choice but to get in the truck or be stranded on a lonely, empty part of the parkway (this was pre-cell phone days too). That kind man drove me an hour and a half to my parents' house, when his bread and butter was driving the parkway looking for broken down cars to bring in. My parents were up and livid when I got there :( As a parent now, boy, do I know why. And you're so right.

 

Seriously, that was over 20 years ago and I bet he's still telling that story!

 

That's a great story, though I'm sorry you have it to tell. And I bet you're right :lol:

 

The mom who got into the car was me. Please don't think that I believe that any man that offers someone a ride is a danger. I should never have gotten into his car. He kinda made me feel guilty for doubting him. So I listened to him instead of my own common sense.

 

Pajama Mama, I wanted to throw up after I read that story :grouphug: I don't think the OP was about the kindness of most strangers (and I do believe most are kind, or at least harmless). I think it was about how many of us have been stranded somewhere and about making sure our kids are are equipped for those situations in spite of their feelings of invincibility. Most of us are lucky. You were almost the headline. What a memory to have :(