NewHomeSchoolMarm Posted April 13, 2009 Share Posted April 13, 2009 As much as I try not to define myself as more than a Christian Wife and Mother, it seems that I really do identify myself as a homeschooler. Some how homeschooling is really more than something I do, it has shaped my life and the lives of my family and our lifestyle. I love the challenge, the sacrifice, the Spring catalogs, planning, revamping of schedules, reorganizing the schoolroom, checking work, reading together, contemplating learning styles and approaches, reading and commenting on the HS'ing boards...... Here's the kicker--due to my health we will be sending our girls to private school next year. The last two years I have battled serious illness and had two major surgeries-mid school year. Life has been beyond difficult (to say the least)! Dh made an executive decision that until my health stabilizes the girls would go to private school. Dh has taken on so much of my role the last two years: homemaking, nursing me, and homeschooling the girls and it has really impacted his work (his God given responsiblility). I agree with him, that with all my Dr. appointments, procedures, surgeries ( I just had surgery three weeks ago), rehab appointments 3x a week-- schooling has been rough. My girls are growing beautifully through this... but honestly, taking on their education is more than we can do WELL at this point. Unfortunately, I'm not even able to run my household (chores, dinner, cleaning, wife duties....) :willy_nilly: I really feel sad about the whole situation, something I really love to do and defines my life will no longer be apart of my life. DH has encouraged me to Get Well, Focus on Rehab, and Get our Home in Order. Not a bad plan, the last few years of trial have taught me about the need to be flexible and sacrificial. Lord Willing, I am on the road to recovery and I can restore my home to order and bless my wonderful DH and daughters. I honestly feel my girls will not want to be homeschooled once they go to school (which they are really looking forward to BTW), so I feel like this is the end for us. I'm being dramatic right? I probably need to get a new hobby right? Should I get a life? OR was I wrong for making homeschooling (something for my girls) my passion? WTM'ers I really need your insight and advice, you all are a treasure chest of wisdom. NHSM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chaik76 Posted April 13, 2009 Share Posted April 13, 2009 My love for education didn't end when I sent my oldest to school (and for my health, just as you are doing). I still had fun researching things we could do at home. And my son's enjoyment of school didn't affect his love of homeschooling. We are actually homeschooling again, and my son loves it just as much as he did before. Moving to school was a hard transition for us (and not much easier than homeschooling...my son ended up sick a lot, and with driving and busing, and having to be home when he got off the bus, coordinating was difficult), but it was the best thing to do at the time. We don't regret it in the least. I did find other things to occupy my time, but still kept up with my homeschool reading (just for fun). You may find out that private school suits your girls admirably, or that you end up bringing one or more of them home in the future, because that is what is best for them. Give yourself some time to adjust. It can be a hard transition (I worked very hard to not let this show), but it can also be very worthwhile. I don't know if I'm helpful or not, hopefully someone else can help you more than me. But here's a hug: :grouphug: ETA: And I had time to rest and recuperate, and to get my house in order. I spent some time relaxing...I hadn't had time to do that in years. I caught up on some reading, and some old movies. I decluttered (in very small time slots...I didn't have the energy for more). My son enjoyed that I had the energy to play a little when he got home, even if I had to sit on the couch to do it. Before, because I was dealing with the children all day (I don't mean that in a bad way at all...I love my kids) I had no energy to sit and play or to spend much extra time with them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mary in VA Posted April 13, 2009 Share Posted April 13, 2009 (edited) I homeschooled my oldest for K-1 when we were stationed overseas. Due to a move back to the states and issues dealing with my ill, elderly mother, she went to 2-5 in a private Christian school and her sister did K there. When we got ready to move again and were discussing schooling options, my oldest ASKED to be homeschooled again. By then circumstances had changed, my heart had changed and I was enthusiastic, and it was the best option. So she was homeschooled 6th -12th and her younger sister has been homeschooled 1st-8th, and Lord willing will go through 12th at home. To be honest when we stopped the first time my heart was not in it. There were too many other issues causing stress I had to focus on. Looking back I wish we had been able to continue, but really, it was not to be at that time, for that season. I can see good things that came from that break. And once we returned to it, it was "full steam ahead." You never know, you may return to it. When we stopped, I would have NEVER believed we would be back at it for the long term :001_smile: ETA: But if not, then the Lord has other great, better things planned for you and them! Blessings, Mary Edited April 13, 2009 by Mary in VA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AuntieM Posted April 13, 2009 Share Posted April 13, 2009 will ever be able to take a great read aloud and have the same calibur of discussions you can have in the intimate setting of your own home. (Yes, I know some teachers really are excellent, but at home you are not constrained by class times and can take the discussion into areas that may not be permitted in a classroom.) So while you are spending time recovering, make yourself a book list and carve out some daily reading time (my guess is that you do this already?). Keep this one thing going and you will keep that mentor bond going, perhaps enough to fill the void you expect to feel with giving up the rest of the subjects. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted April 13, 2009 Share Posted April 13, 2009 I'm being dramatic right? I probably need to get a new hobby right? Should I get a life? OR was I wrong for making homeschooling (something for my girls) my passion? If God led you to homeschool your daughters, there can't be anything bad about having been passionate about it. That could only please, him, right? Your identity as a homeschooler is *part* of your identity as a Christian wife and mother, not an extra bit of personality tacked on. :grouphug: Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PollyOR Posted April 13, 2009 Share Posted April 13, 2009 I've wondered what I would do if we were in the same situation....I would mourn. I know I would. I think what you are feeling is normal. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LNC Posted April 13, 2009 Share Posted April 13, 2009 My favorite thing about homeschooling is... children's lit! You can still build a great family library, and be involved in those fabulous extras - playing quality board games and nature study etc. Making the most of their non-academic day is soooo important. And you'll be overseeing their homework and overall academic development still, bc you are their mom! Bless you - I hope you all have a wonderful year and that you recover fully! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted April 13, 2009 Share Posted April 13, 2009 I had to send my dd to school this year for 3rd grade. She had been to preschool, but not to elementary. It was quite a transition, but when I look back on it, most of the drama came from the situations around us, not truly from the school. She had a nice teacher, gained some writing skills, figured out "school culture," and didn't become lippy, depressed, or mean. She wasn't bullied, didn't get called "stupid" by her teachers, didn't suffer any long lasting ill effects. It satisfied her curiousity, too. Now she wants to come home again. We will try hard to do that next year. Don't worry. School at home next time will be a different experience--the time off will allow you to regain your health, get your house in order, and give you perspective on how to change and tweak anything that "needs fixin'!" Rest, recuperate, and realize they are God's, and he will be going to school with them. There is no place He isn't. (Wonder what kind of backpack he carries? :001_smile:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted April 13, 2009 Share Posted April 13, 2009 I can empathize. I was diagnosed with RSD last summer, and my pain levels have increased over the last several months. Dh has suggested several times that we not homeschool Diva next year, 'to give you a break.' I'll be honest, I lost it on him. :blushing: Told him I'm now permenently disabled, I've lost a career I loved, and now he wants to take away one of the few things that I *can* still do, and do well? Especially with the kids? I don't think so. The difference btwn you and I though is, you do have recovery to do. I don't. I'm as good as I'm going to get. If God led you to homeschooling, He will lead you back again :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted April 13, 2009 Share Posted April 13, 2009 :grouphug:Big hug:grouphug: No advice, just prayers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NewHomeSchoolMarm Posted April 13, 2009 Author Share Posted April 13, 2009 Hi HiveMiind, I'm never disappointed when I post on this board. Thank You for all the words of experience and wisdom, I really do feel more hopeful. :) I never realized that so many homeschoolers have had experience with public/private school--that is very nice to know. I am really not alone in this and that makes a difference for me!!! Blessings Back To You All, NHSM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KidsHappen Posted April 13, 2009 Share Posted April 13, 2009 I am also suffering from chronic illness and pain. My 6th grader went to school this year and my current 4th grader will go next year. That will leave me with only a 11th & 12th grader next year. They are pretty much independent so they don;t require much from me. All of these have been homeschooled from the beginning so this is quite a change for me but I have made peace with this and now I am actually looking forward to it. I am currently trying to do too much and I am not managing to get it all done and what is getting done is not getting done thoroughly or well. So I am looking at this as a blessing and I am planning to use any time I have in the next few years to concentrate on my own reading and education. And of course, be able to get on top of homemaking, small household projects and helping the children with homework and school work. I hope that you too will be able to make peace with what is and make positive plans for your future. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sportymom Posted April 13, 2009 Share Posted April 13, 2009 I have a dear friend who sent her boys to ps due to health issues with her youngest child, and it has made all the difference to them--physically, mentally, etc. One thing she has maintained, very seriously, is her boys' reading. She is serious about them reading quality lit. while in ps. I hope it will be a wonderfully restful and healing year for you! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chaik76 Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 Hi HiveMiind, I'm never disappointed when I post on this board. Thank You for all the words of experience and wisdom, I really do feel more hopeful. :) I never realized that so many homeschoolers have had experience with public/private school--that is very nice to know. I am really not alone in this and that makes a difference for me!!! Blessings Back To You All, NHSM :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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