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Toxic teen


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http://homeschoolfarm.blogspot.com/2009/03/toxic-teen.html

 

Ds put this sign up on his door today. I swear I can't even breathe right! He's critical of everything I say or do. I correct him and remind him that he's a child and it's disrespectful to correct me, but it's not getting any better. :banghead: School is a nightmare; I'm about ready to drop him in ps. Of course, I know that wouldn't improve his attitude (probably make it worse) but at least I wouldn't have to deal with his cr*p day in and day out!:angry:

 

Rant over.

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Honestly, I would laugh this one off. I have put signs to that effect on my door: Caution - Really cranky mom inside - Enter at your own risk. As to the overall being a pain in the butt, so sorry. It's really tough raising hormonal preteens and teens. They generally get better with age though so hang in there.

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I'd put up the "caution grouchy mama" sign and see what happens. Sometimes humor is the best way of helping someone see that their perspective is skewed. That hormonal stage is hard. I have a 13 1/2 yr old ds, who has gone the other way....quiet and introverted, which concerns me, as it smacks of depression. Keep up the good work, Cheryl and you will come out the other side. My dd has passed through this stage and she is such a pleasure to be around....we relate almost like two adults now.

Heather

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I have two grown sons, a 15yo ds, and a 10yo ds. I feel your pain. My 15yo is about to come out the other side of this (mild alien take over compared to his brothers), so I have one more to go.

 

Just hang in there! Humor does help and keeps you from taking a baseball bat or frying pan to them. Just kidding (kind of).

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but I bet it's not really all that funny to be criticized and corrected. I'm going to be entering that stage with twin boys soon (they are 11 now) and I sometimes forget how hard it was the first time.

 

I will say that at this age, I would eliminate the word "Child" from my vocabulary. It is going to feel like an insult to him to be told "you are a child" even though he is. I would take the "you are almost a man" angle instead. I found it more effective to say, "you are almost a man and won't be living here forever. I know there are times I make you nuts and times you make me nuts, but this is God preparing both of us for you not living here anymore in the pretty near future, which is why I am insisting on this education stuff!"

 

 

Nothing gets you through those early teen years except love, confidence, humility and a really really good sense of humor!

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I started snickering, thinking that you should stage a Green Peace kind of intervention by his door the next time he has barricaded himself inside. Paint a message on a sheet and hang it next to his door. Get others to join you in staging a vigil outside, sitting and singing songs about love. Write sample letters to the editor and slide them under his door (threaten to really send them), if you have a video camera have a "news reporter" do a video report on your blockade of the toxic situation. If kids weren't so irritating, you could have a lot of fun with this!

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...my day is about to follow a similiar path...

It started at 730a.m., I walk into the computer/class room.. DS10 is in front of the computer, and the first thing he says to me is "I THOUGHT you said today would be a LIGHT day, YEAH RIGHT!!!!" (read this with a very nasty rude tone)........I literally had just walked out of bed, slightly groggy, and replied "Uh good morning to you too and I am don't think I will be talking to you about this right now" ...and left the room. He has golf class today, so apparently he thought his school load would be lighter, but I know I never told him that, cuz I don't think his school load is that heavy to begin with.

 

Rest of the a.m. goes without incident.

 

DH and DS10 leave to go to golf at 1030a.m.....I come upstairs to do some work on the computer, and that's when I see it: In INK, on my flat panel 19'inch HP monitor..the words "You suck" and some random scribbling. WHAT WHAT WHAT!?!?!?!??!? I am so livid. First that is not even a word that is anywhere near OK in our house, and second, to deface property....WHAT!??! He is so lucky that he is not home right now...I will be much more calm with a couple of hours to slowly fume. But he has altered his life for the next several months by this poor choice.

 

It's not going to be a good day around here. :(((.

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...my day is about to follow a similiar path...

It started at 730a.m., I walk into the computer/class room.. DS10 is in front of the computer, and the first thing he says to me is "I THOUGHT you said today would be a LIGHT day, YEAH RIGHT!!!!" (read this with a very nasty rude tone)........I literally had just walked out of bed, slightly groggy, and replied "Uh good morning to you too and I am don't think I will be talking to you about this right now" ...and left the room. He has golf class today, so apparently he thought his school load would be lighter, but I know I never told him that, cuz I don't think his school load is that heavy to begin with.

 

Rest of the a.m. goes without incident.

 

DH and DS10 leave to go to golf at 1030a.m.....I come upstairs to do some work on the computer, and that's when I see it: In INK, on my flat panel 19'inch HP monitor..the words "You suck" and some random scribbling. WHAT WHAT WHAT!?!?!?!??!? I am so livid. First that is not even a word that is anywhere near OK in our house, and second, to deface property....WHAT!??! He is so lucky that he is not home right now...I will be much more calm with a couple of hours to slowly fume. But he has altered his life for the next several months by this poor choice.

 

It's not going to be a good day around here. :(((.

 

:grouphug::grouphug: I'm so sorry! They are so unpredictable at this age!

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I didn't say a word to ds about the sign; didn't even give a sign and that I noticed it. He took it down this morning. I did tell him yesterday that if he wants us to even consider ps for him that he needs to show us he's responsible by taking care of his chores and school work. He did really well yesterday and it already done with his school work today. It was the best quality work I'd seen in a long time! Of course, I know that might change on a moments notice. I will omit the word child from my vocabulary; I remember that very well from when I was a teen.

 

I'm still struggling with what to let go and what to correct. Obviously he can't be disrespectful, but that means that some days the only interaction we have is negative. Oh well, I guess no one ever said parenting was easy!

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...my day is about to follow a similiar path...

It started at 730a.m., I walk into the computer/class room.. DS10 is in front of the computer, and the first thing he says to me is "I THOUGHT you said today would be a LIGHT day, YEAH RIGHT!!!!" (read this with a very nasty rude tone)........I literally had just walked out of bed, slightly groggy, and replied "Uh good morning to you too and I am don't think I will be talking to you about this right now" ...and left the room. He has golf class today, so apparently he thought his school load would be lighter, but I know I never told him that, cuz I don't think his school load is that heavy to begin with.

 

Rest of the a.m. goes without incident.

 

DH and DS10 leave to go to golf at 1030a.m.....I come upstairs to do some work on the computer, and that's when I see it: In INK, on my flat panel 19'inch HP monitor..the words "You suck" and some random scribbling. WHAT WHAT WHAT!?!?!?!??!? I am so livid. First that is not even a word that is anywhere near OK in our house, and second, to deface property....WHAT!??! He is so lucky that he is not home right now...I will be much more calm with a couple of hours to slowly fume. But he has altered his life for the next several months by this poor choice.

 

It's not going to be a good day around here. :(((.

 

:grouphug: Not to hijack this thread, but how did this end? I would have been tempted to go to the golf course and drag ds back home by the scruff of his neck to begin his reparation.

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:grouphug: Not to hijack this thread, but how did this end? I would have been tempted to go to the golf course and drag ds back home by the scruff of his neck to begin his reparation.

 

Yes, how did this end!? :confused: I am so sorry you are having such troubles! It makes mine pale in comparison.

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