G5052 Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 Both are battling from different medical causes. One is in the hospital, and the other can't tell me what the diagnosis is or how they're going to manage when the parent in the hospital goes home tomorrow. The one in the hospital can no longer speak because of medical issues. They've always refused to let me have access to the majority of their doctors, and the doctor that would talk to me "off the record" is out on maternity leave. The one that still home is in the midst of a major paranoia attack and won't let any of their friends get involved. There are no family members close by. Arg...more phone calls tomorrow. Surely I can get through to someone who will stop this trainwreck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kissy Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 You are going to survive. I am sorry I don't have a been there done that story for this one but the sheer will and determination in your voice to get through and get some help with it tells me that you will survive. Stay strong. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 Have you contacted the Alzheimers' Association? I have heard speakers from that organization twice, and was very impressed. Supposedly they have a hotline that is very helpful, with really practical advice. Is there a social worker involved? It sounds like it might be time to consider getting a POA in place. A very tough decision, I know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ElizabethB Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 :grouphug: My grandfather had Alzheimer's, I'm now hoping for a nice heart attack right before Alzheimer's would hit, although I have low blood pressure and cholesterol and no risk other factors for heart attack, so it's not highly likely. My parents got a power of attorney very early on, I agree, you may need to look into what you need to do to get one. My grandfather started doing some bizarre things he would never have done before the disease struck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SonshineLearner Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 :grouphug: Just hugs... Carrie:-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G5052 Posted February 23, 2009 Author Share Posted February 23, 2009 It sounds like it might be time to consider getting a POA in place. A very tough decision, I know. A quote from one of my parents just a few months ago -- "You'll only get POA over our affairs over my dead body!" (they're currently set up for POA for each other only) And a quote from a social worker that was involved with all of this at one point -- "My guess is that you won't get POA without going to court, and that won't happen until they're institutionalized, and that won't happen until they don't know where they're going." No easy answers! Dementia is just a horrible thing for everyone involved. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denise in IN Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 This sounds terribly stressful! Praying for your strength and wisdom. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KristenS Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 It's possible to get limited POA ... perhaps you can get one that allows you access to medical records only, no paranoia about assets needed. I know when my grandma was moving from one state far off to our state, my mother was granted a temporary, limited, POA so she could sign the real estate papers on her behalf. It made things much easier. Anyway, it's something to ask about, if you can talk to a lawyer friend or something. POA doesn't have to be all-or-nothing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
6packofun Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 A quote from one of my parents just a few months ago -- "You'll only get POA over our affairs over my dead body!" (they're currently set up for POA for each other only) And a quote from a social worker that was involved with all of this at one point -- "My guess is that you won't get POA without going to court, and that won't happen until they're institutionalized, and that won't happen until they don't know where they're going." No easy answers! Dementia is just a horrible thing for everyone involved. I'm sorry you're going through this. We had to bring my dh's 85yo grandmother with Alzheimer's home to live with us and it's SO incredibly difficult. I get a lot of support and information from the Alz. Association forums! http://alzheimers.infopop.cc/eve/forums We discuss all sorts of caregiver issues from practical things to Medicare/Medicaid and legal issues. Have you spoken to an elder law attorney? You might find some good informtion here: http://www.elderlawanswers.com/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 :grouphug: Big hug, dementia is just awful.:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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