momtolgd Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 Our 2 year old has been doing some things that we are not sure about. First he all of a sudden will only let me do things for him. For example, if my husband gives him a sippy cup, he will scream and throw it down, but if I give it to him he happily takes it. Things like this have been happening for a few weeks now. It seems that he won't let DH or the other kids help him do things but he lets me help him. DH feels really bad about this and doesn't know why he won't let him help. The reason we are wondering if it has something to do with OCD is because of some other things he's been doing. When he sits at the table to eat everything in front of him has to be in exactly the right place. If his plate is turned to the side of backwards, he insists on turning it to be correct. Every thing (different foods, his silverware, his napkin, his cup, his plate) has to be exactly right for him or he gets upset. Sometimes he just fixes it, sometimes he screams. He has always had a fixation on my long hair...since he was only months old he would hold my hair when he nursed and when he was tired. Now it seems to be a comfort thing for him to hold and twist my hair. He absolutely refuses to eat vegetables. If we have stew he will eat the broth but none of the chunks of veggies or beef make their way to his mouth. If foods don't look right to him he refuses to even have them anywhere near his plate...we made bean dip with dried pinto beans, cheese and salsa and he just screamed when we put some in front of him. Yet he eats refried beans whenever we make tacos? DH mentioned some of the things he does to a co-worker and they suggested that he be checked out for OCD tendencies. Are these normal 2 year old behaviors or could there be something else going on? Our oldest son has had phases where he has done repetetive things (one was compulsively licking around his lips and they were chapped for weeks because of it), usually during periods of high stress (i.e. when we moved away from our family and friends a few years ago), but they all turned out to be phases that he outgrew. Could the doctors have missed something with him? He has had some issues with tags in his clothing bothering him, noises being too loud, etc... now I'm worried about things that I thought were normal kid phases to go through. Can anyone help to shed some light on this for us? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4kiddies Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 Truthfully it sounds like normal two year old things. My dd2 1/2 does similar things and has recently become determined to do everything by herself. She wants to eat what she wants/when she wants. She wants to get into and out of her carseat by herself(even though she can't). I just chalk it up to trying to gain some independence and seem like a "big" kid. I wouldn't worry about it at this point. If it continues then I would check with your ped at your 3yo checkup. HTH! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassenach Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 I have a dh with OCD tendencies (but far from real, full blown OCD). Our 2 youngest kids have had phases of really OCD/Anal behavior. I don't think anyone in the family had clinical OCD, but that element is definitely present in their personalities. I remember 2 years old definitely being a time when those behaviors were enhanced. One memorable moment was when my youngest was about that age. She had set up her tea set on the floor of her room in *just* the right order. We had friends over and one of the kids knocked it over. She came back into her room and completely fell apart. It took several minutes to even figure out why she was crying. Finally, through her tears and sobbing, she started to fix the tea set. The moment it was back in order, she stopped crying, stood up and walked away. It gets better. Her room is a mess at the moment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 Your 2-year old sounds like a normal 2-year old. At some point he learned or associated certain things with how they are supposed to be and doesn't like change yet. Your other kiddo sounds like he may have sensory issues. Some kids need therapy for it, some (like mine) outgrow it with understanding. My dd has issues with tags, sock seams, loud noises, separation anxiety, food textures, etc.. I just let her fix her socks how she likes them, keep her from noises she can't handle and separate gradually. It has taken years but she is finally becoming more "normal." Luckily she doesn't have too many food texture issues. I can easily substitute things for her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elise1mds Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 Your 2-year old sounds like a normal 2-year old. At some point he learned or associated certain things with how they are supposed to be and doesn't like change yet. Your other kiddo sounds like he may have sensory issues. Some kids need therapy for it, some (like mine) outgrow it with understanding. My dd has issues with tags, sock seams, loud noises, separation anxiety, food textures, etc.. I just let her fix her socks how she likes them, keep her from noises she can't handle and separate gradually. It has taken years but she is finally becoming more "normal." Luckily she doesn't have too many food texture issues. I can easily substitute things for her. :iagree: My son's OCD symptoms didn't really show up till he was about 4. He doesn't have full-blown OCD, but he gets the symptoms when he's stressed or having an anxiety flare. I sympathize, though. My daughter was very picky about everything at that age, too. She is finally growing out of it, though for ages the only way I could get her to eat any sort of vegetable (other than fries, which don't count IMHO) was to spoonfeed her while she sat in my lap in the living room in front of the TV. We never ever eat in front of the TV, so I'm not sure even where that quirk came from, but she'd go DAYS without eating if I didn't do this for her. It was very frustrating for everyone. I'm glad it's over, though she still has symptoms of anxiety sometimes. C'est la vie. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mabeline Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 Both of my boys had "Toddler OCD" My dh and I used to joke that they were little "Monks" (from the tv show) They both out grew all of their strict rules. Although my 4 yo is still particular about cetain things. Like another poster said if it is still a big problem I would mention it at the 3 yr check up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momtolgd Posted February 18, 2009 Author Share Posted February 18, 2009 Your other kiddo sounds like he may have sensory issues. Some kids need therapy for it, some (like mine) outgrow it with understanding. My dd has issues with tags, sock seams, loud noises, separation anxiety, food textures, etc.. I just let her fix her socks how she likes them, keep her from noises she can't handle and separate gradually. It has taken years but she is finally becoming more "normal." Luckily she doesn't have too many food texture issues. I can easily substitute things for her. Now that you say that, he does also have issues with sock seams and with seperation anxiety also. He's never had food issues though. He also has problems with transitions. I remember once when he was 3 we were at a friends house for a play date and he was having a great time. When it came time to leave he threw a huge fit. I had told him 30 minutes before, 15 minutes before and 5 minutes before that we were going to be leaving, but it didn't help him. My friend's husband ended up carrying him out to the car for me because I couldn't carry him fighting like that and carry my then 1 year old daughter. He fought getting in the car seat and everything. Transitions were a very difficult thing for him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momtolgd Posted February 18, 2009 Author Share Posted February 18, 2009 Thank you all for replying...I feel a bit better. DH's coworker just started my mind working and wondering. I feel like it's normal 2 year old stuff with maybe a bit of OCD tendency when it comes to his need for things to be just right. My DH is very upset about DS not allowing him to help him with things. It's been pretty bad this week, and it's really getting to DH. I keep telling him that DS is just going through a Mama's boy phase and it's nothing he should take personally, but I can't help but wonder why it's happening too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SkateLeft Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 I would mention it to your pediatrician if you're concerned. It is entirely possible for a young child to have an anxiety disorder. My son, who just turned 3 in January, has been on anxiety medication since August, when he was hospitalized for testing. His diagnoses include Generalized Anxiety Disorder, chronic insomnia, communication disorder and SPD. His treatment is overseen by his pediatrician, his neuro-psychologist and his neurologist. He has a congenital brain abnormality that is probably responsible, and we'll find out in April if he needs surgery to correct it. While your son's behavior absolutely could be normal 2 yo behavior, if you feel that something isn't quite right, I think it's totally worthwhile bringing it up to your pediatrician. My 10 yo was a *very* quirky two year old, and I remember worrying that she had OCD for a while, but she turned out to be a completely normal kid. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GreenKitty Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 Though it sounds like normal 2yr old stuff. Keep an eye out for later possibly OCD and/or axiety dissorder. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4kiddies Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 Another thought. You 2yo may be "playing" you husband for the reaction. Your husband should just ignore the behavior rather than getting upset. I know my two year old right now wipes kisses from other people--dad, grandparents--off. She's just mommy focused right now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ElizabethB Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 Both of my kids were hair twisters. My daughter twisted her own, my son twists mine still occasionally, usually when he's tired or upset about something. They both did it a lot when nursing and when younger. All of those things sound like things my children did at 2 and they're fine now. I would also recommend not reading anything about ADD while you have a 2 or 3 year old boy! I was reading a book about reading disorders that had several chapters about attention disorders and how they interacted with reading disorders when my son was that age, I had to keep reminding myself that they were talking about school aged children, and that behaviors that were normal for a 2 or 3 year old were signs of an attention disorder in a school age child. (My son actually has a fairly good attention span for his age, but it is hard when reading things like that to not think, "yes, my son does that, yes, he does that, too...") Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawn E Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 (edited) Montessori talks about a period in which children are very sensitive to order, and 2 and 3 year olds are in the height of that period. It is normal for children of this age to develop patterns regarding how they think things should occur. It is a developmental stage most children pass through--exerting control on their surroundings as they grow into a deeper consciousness of what's going on around them. I would first assume that this is what is going on with your dc. Though I am not saying OCD is not a possibility, it wouldn't be my first assumption. I'll try to find some links for you re: this period of order and post back later. Edited February 18, 2009 by Dawn E Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawn E Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 Hopefully this will work as I am not the most adept at linking... Here is an excerpt from Google books. It is a portion of the book Montessori: The Science Behind the Genius and this link should take you to page 125 of the book. When you look down the page, in the second paragraph under the heading "Other Sensitive Periods" there is a brief discussion regarding this period. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Virginia Dawn Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 All my kids have done similar things. One was particularly particular. He wanted his covers straight across his chest and his shoes next to his pillow. He did not want any of his food to touch and he wanted things to be done the same way all the time. When older, he went through an erasing and alphabetizing phase. I guess I am a mean mom, but I only accomodate obsessions if they are polite. :-) I will not give in to screaming and fit throwing. Period. As for not letting Daddy do things, leaving child with Daddy for the day usually turns him into Daddy's best friend, then he won't let me do things for him! I'ts a nice break. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
squirtymomma Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 I would agree that these sound like normal 2 year old behaviors. My DH is very upset about DS not allowing him to help him with things. It's been pretty bad this week, and it's really getting to DH. I keep telling him that DS is just going through a Mama's boy phase and it's nothing he should take personally, but I can't help but wonder why it's happening too. My older dd has gone through stages like this. But she's also switched back and forth from preferring Dad to preferring Mom. It used to hurt my feelings, but I really think for her it was more of a control game. In general, it's best not to take 2 year olds' whims too seriously. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TracyR Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 My motto is " When in doubt , check it out". I would mention your concerns to your pediatrician. Some of his stuff sounds like "normal" two year old stuff. Your ped can tell you wether its of concern yet or not. I mean my 11yr old STILL refuses to eat veggies. LOL. My 2yr old goes on food strikes too. Its very frustrating to say the least. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Governess Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 My dd went through a similar stage. I think part of it is the fact that their brains have developed enough for them to understand that they have the ability to control/influence certain things (how their silverware is arranged, who does things for them and how they do them, etc.) but their emotional maturity is still not quite there yet, and they aren't able to deal with this new responsibility...so it creates a lot of tantrums, frustration, confusing behavior, etc. Now that she's older, I wouldn't call my dd4 OCD, but she's definitely more particular than dd2 and is much more strong-willed in general. I hope it is a short-lived stage for you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 Is this a sudden change in his behavior? Has he been exposed to strep throat at all? PANDAS is a strep related OCD and affects boys more than girls. They have have the strep even with no fever or sore throat. A blood test can detect this. In a different direction, how are his social skills? Langauge skills? Interactions with others? Does he play with toys/pretend? Sometimes the OCD stuff, etc. can be a sign of things on the autism spectrum. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nakia Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 I think it sounds pretty normal for a 2 yr old, but I think you should talk to you pediatrician about it, just to put your mind at ease. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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