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Another funny things your children have said thread....


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What are some funny things your young kids have said?

 

Just last week ds (6.5 years old) asked....

 

Could we isolate grape juice in the Lego tray? :blink:

 

He meant....

 

Could we make grape juice ice cubes in the Lego ice cube tray? :lol:

 

 

 

Come on, I know there are more out there! :bigear:

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Last week one of my kids, at dinner no less, said (out of the blue), "I have just exuded a large amount gas from my cerebellum." I believe he meant to say, "I burped." But what he said was, in the vernacular, "I had a brain fart." That will teach him to use words without looking them up.

 

We almost died laughing.

 

Ria

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I recently used my best friend's babysitter whom both my girls loved. The young girl is on a dance team and when my friend asked my daughter if the sitter had shown them any of her dance routine, my daughter told her the sitter had worn a dress the night she babysat. Immediately my daughter turned to me and said, "Mom, next time we need to call her and ask her to dress more appropriately." I just thought that was cute. :)

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Last week one of my kids, at dinner no less, said (out of the blue), "I have just exuded a large amount gas from my cerebellum." I believe he meant to say, "I burped." But what he said was, in the vernacular, "I had a brain fart." That will teach him to use words without looking them up.

 

We almost died laughing.

 

Ria

 

SNORT! That is too funny!

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This story requires a bit of background. We often correct one another's grammar in a kidding sort of way around here. One of our more common corrections has to do with comparative adjectives - some are created by adding -er to a regular adjective (slim - slimmer; nice - nicer, etc.) - others are created by adding the word "more" before the adjective (fun - more fun). This is one correction that simply will not die. If a person says "funner" he will, no doubt, be corrected by a chorus of "more fun!":)

 

Ds12 and I were out shopping the other day when I got the impulse to sing "I'm Gettin' Married in the Morning" from My Fair Lady. I changed the words, though, to "I'm getting fatter every minute!" Ds laughed and said, "Mom, you're not getting fatter." I thought, "How sweet - he's trying to cheer me up." But then, he quickly followed his first remark with "You're getting more fat!"

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When dd (now 15) was about 3, she was riding with dh in the car. Out of the blue, she asked, "When I'm grown up, how big will my breasts be?"

 

Dh was flabbergasted, but quickly recovered and said, "Oh, about like Mommy's."

 

He thought he'd given just the right answer, until she replied,

 

"Okay, then, how LONG will they be?"

 

Lisa

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When dd (now 15) was about 3, she was riding with dh in the car. Out of the blue, she asked, "When I'm grown up, how big will my breasts be?"

 

Dh was flabbergasted, but quickly recovered and said, "Oh, about like Mommy's."

 

He thought he'd given just the right answer, until she replied,

 

"Okay, then, how LONG will they be?"

 

Lisa

 

 

That's too much!! :lol:

 

 

Here's one I can think of right now (I am at work!). When my oldest was just learning to talk and sing, she loved to sing "Ring around the roses". But when she got to the end she would sing "a$$holes, a$$holes, we all fall down." That was hilarious!

 

Oh! Also when her fish died when she was 4, she came in to the living and said "Mommy, Fred's petals are moving". What she meant was his fins weren't moving. :D

 

I'll think of more! My kids make me giggle every day with their funnies.

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Oh. No!

We had one of those - the boys were on the bed, waiting for me, and Quinn asked if they were going to "get a 'b00k'" and I, joking, said "Nope, I don't have any." My dedicated nursling pointed out that I did, too, "right there. On yours belly!" :glare:

 

When Bailey was about 3, she was looking for something, asking everyone at a family gathering if they'd seen it. When she got to me, I asked her what she was looking for and she started describing it. So I asked her again what "it" was that she was looking for. We went around a few times until she was clearly frustrated with her remarkably dense mother and started in with "it's yeeeeeeeeee-llllllllll-ooooooooooooow..." I still have no idea what she was looking for, five years later.

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The other night on our way home from shopping I told dd(12) that she talked dirty(she is always talking about f@rts and such~I don't like it and told her if she didn't stop she will be punished).

 

So she says to her brother(ds13) well if I talk dirty, then you talk dorky.

 

He thought about it for a second and said you only think I talk dorky because I talk to myself.

:lol:

I busted up laughing.

 

Ds does walk around the house and repeat things from movies, games and so on so that is why he said that.

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My husband started college about 3 years ago. My youngest daughters (then 6 and 4) where in the car with me when I picked him up from his Government class. My husband and I were discussing the class, and all of a sudden the 6 year old blurted out "Mommy is the government in our family!"

 

I just turned around and said. "That's right sweetie."

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My 7yo came in crying that the dirty white girl and the hispanic party girl got run over with the lawnmower.

 

 

 

:001_huh:

 

 

 

Turns out she was talking about her Fisher Price Loving Family dollhouse dolls (the white girl being dirty because she had been buried in a mudpuddle and dug up of course...get your mind out of the gutter!)

 

Barb

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My son was telling me about a cat whose tummy he had petted. I asked it was a boy or a girl, and he said "boy" and then he leaned in to me and lowered his voice "but I think they have it wrong, because I felt nipples". I lifted his shirt and pointed for him to look at his chest, and he was quiet for a long time (pondering, I'm sure).

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If this is too controversial, I'll delete it. My controversy radar is all out of whack after the elections. My 17yo son was reading about the Reformation, and here are a few of his comments:

 

Eli: "I'm not sure I like this Martin Luther. Or Zwingli. In fact, I don't know if I like Calvin, either. I know the truth about the Bible! No, I do. No, this is the truth!"

 

His brother, growling: "Let's fight about it!"

 

later

 

Eli: "I think I really hate this John Calvin. No dancing? Really. No dancing. And Oliver Cromwell actually tired to outlaw Christmas? And I thought these people were Christians."

 

My youngest son Seth is studying percentages and now is all about percents. Here are a few things he's said this week:

 

Everybody knows the Tale of the Two Dragons, in King Arthur. EVERYBODY. Okay, maybe not everybody, but maybe like 90% of the population in Washington. Or maybe like 40 to 50%. I don't know.

 

And later, when his dad was walking out the door:

 

Eli: “Dad. That joke was actually almost funny.â€

Seth: “Like, 40% funnier than your usual jokes.â€

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...our 12 year old dd came and sat on the ottoman where I had my feet propped, laptop in my lap. Basically, she sad on my feet. Soon after, she began to squirm and said, "Mom, you need to move your feet. They are in my vicinity." Me being me, her remark spawned all kinds of silly replies. "Well, that's a shame, because my feet were here long before your vicinity. So I'm thinking it's you and your vicinity that have to move."

 

 

We giggled. A lot.

 

:lol:

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