Do you have other kids not home schooling?

[SherryTX]

We told our other kids the night before Rebecca's last day.

3 of them are fine with it. However, our youngest, 7, is a little upset.

She stated she would miss seeing her sister at school, which is understandable.

 

This weekend she told me that "there is a boy that is making things difficult for me, so I think I have to do school at home too." This from a kid, who the day before we told her about this, was telling me (of her own volition) that she doesn't really like recess because of some kids being jerks, but that it "its just a small thing, and I get over it." And then proceeded to tell me all the great things going on for her at school.

 

I tried to explain that homeschooling our 9 year old should mean that I get to spend more time with the 7 year old after school, since we won't having to spend a great deal of time when the others get home helping the 9 year old with homework. I also told her that we can make sure that she is a part of the lessons - for example music and art - with the 9 year old. That we would have some of those lessons after school or on the weekend. She did like that idea.

 

She is going through a bit of the mommy and daddy wants - she needs more time with us, which is just one of the many reasons homeschooling the other kid is a good idea. I am not opposed to homeschooling the 7 year old - but not yet. This is our first time doing it, and we need to make sure we get things organized and a fairly reliable schedule with the 9 year old first.

 

For those that have other kids going to school while you home school another - how have you handled this situation?

 

Thanks.

[Chris in VA]

You are the Mommy, and you get to make the decision. Just remember that as I tell you my feelings on the matter.

I have 3 kids, as you can see in my sig. I homeschooled my dd from K-2, and my eldest thru high school. My middle son did not homeschool. He had asked when he was in elementary, but it wasn't even on the radar then (and he had had me as his preschool teacher, so he was really asking me to be his teacher at school, not homeschool him).

Well, Sky was ok with us homeschooling, sort of. He didn't want to be home, but he hated being left out. He really felt very detached from the family. He said that we would talk about homeschooling, or we would reference things that had happened during the day of which he was not a part, and he just felt very alone. He struggles with fitting into our family anyway, and this school choice did not help at all. Granted, at the time, he was already in the midst of his addiction. We didn't know.

 

Your dd7 is so young. Why not let her stay home, too? Seven is what, second grade? It's so easy at that stage--you can follow the WTM rec's or even just use the same curricula as your 9 yo, but on her level. It's really hard to screw up second grade. Let her come home. I say this from my own perspective. If I had listened to Sky when he was in 2nd grade, and brought him home, so much pain could have been avoided. So much. Not saying you will have the same situation AT all, and I sincerely hope you don't, but why not at least consider bring her home.

Just my opinion--you do know your situation best and your children best.

Edited January 24, 2009 by Chris in VA

[SherryTX]

Thanks - actually, we did tell her maybe next year, but didn't make any promises.

 

Chris - sorry your son had such a hard time. I am concerned with her feeling left out, that is true. I have 3 other kids older than Rebecca, our 9 year old, and of those, 2 are very comfortable in school very active socially, and my 17 year old son just finished high school in December (a special program through public school so he could finish earlier), and started college this past week.

So, the older 3 are just fine with it. I can see how the younger would would feel left out.

 

Olivia, our 7 year old is in first grade right now. My concern for her doing home schooling is that she may get sick and tired of just being home all the time. She is a social butterfly. So, that is something else - during the next few months as we interact with other homeschooling groups, we can figure out which groups we prefer. That way, we will have more social things outside of the house figured out - something I know Olivia will probably need much more so than Rebecca.

[praisefor3]

because that is exactly how we ended up becoming a homeschool family. We originally made a long, thought out decision to hs the oldest who was going to be in 9th grade. I spent the entire summer glued to the internet learning about homeschooling, curriculum, styles, etc. You name it. I was totally green. By the end of the summer I was ready. Three weeks before ps school was to start, the next child, who was going to start in 2nd grade said, "I want to homeschool, too." I nearly fell on the floor. I had just spent my entire summer learning about homeschooling a high schooler. I had no idea what you did for a second grader. This child is outgoing, social, loved recess, and I would never in a million years have thought it was on his radar to even think about it. As I had learned more about homeschooling that summer, I had actually begun to think that maybe one day we'd bring him home, too, but I wanted to do exactly like you said: Figure it out with just one first, get organized, get a schedule, etc. Besides, we also had a one year old and the thought of teaching the second grader AND the high schooler with a one year old seemed impossible. The first words out of my mouth were, "You don't want to homeschool." And he spent the next ten minutes telling me how much he did while I got more and more overwhelmed. He had never said a word about it before. At that point all I could say was, "We will have to pray about it." After the shock settled in a bit, I returned to the computer. I started the research all over again but this time looking at the elementary stuff. This was NOT something I wanted to do, had intended to do, or even had time to think about. But I promised him we would pray about it. I called DH, told him about it, and we both did pray about it. Two weeks later, one week before ps was to start, we told ds that we would homeschool him. I will never forget that little blonde headed, beautiful face looking at me with tears rolling down his cheeks because he was so happy when I told him. Don't get me wrong. He is a TOUGH kid to homeschool. His strong will and mine clash frequently and I am often tempted to run after the nearest school bus with his backpack and lunchbox and shove him through the door. But never for a minute have I truly regretted it and looking back, my dh and I both shudder when we think about how we almost missed that need of his. I don't say any of this to tell you what to do. Obviously this is just OUR story. But your original post brought back memories and I could oh so relate. The oldest is about to graduate and I thought I'd be done with this journey. But the middle one is in fifth. The little one is now four and we have a lot of homeschooling years ahead.

 

Best wishes as you determine what is best for you.

[Mandy in TN]

The year our now 6yo as born we decided to bring home the middle ds. He was floundering in a private cs. I couldn't fathom sending him back to public school- that had been his kindergarten nightmare. He was finishing up 2nd grade and frankly I just decided that I could do it better.

 

Anyway, the private cs ended at 4th grade and the oldest was all set to go to the local Montessori school entering 5th grade and I was excited for him. Two weeks before school was to begin he started begging to stay home too. Dh and I decided that if it turned out to be the only year we homeschooled then we didn’t want the oldest to remember it as the year that middle ds stayed home with Mommy and the baby and we shipped him off to school.

 

Well, we are in our second semester of our 7th year. Oldest ds is in his second semester of 11th grade. He never once wanted to go back to a traditional classroom. Now middle ds thought he might want to go back in middle school. After visiting the school I decided that it wouldn’t be the end of the world if he ended up there. He OTOH decided he never again wanted to be inside a traditional classroom.

 

So, this is another vote to bring her home, but I would also point out that the posters here are probably a little biased in favor of homeschooling.:tongue_smilie:

Mandy

[keptwoman]

We started with only one of the three. C came home. J stayed in school and M stayed in preschool. Now we have all three home. But at the time neither of the others were bothered. In the end though it was J who asked to come home too and we were happy to allow it. And I have to agree that it was nice to get used to dealing with one before adding another to the mix.

 

I think if you approach your children with the line that you choose educational options individually according to what is best for the child then it's pretty hard to argue.

We always tell our children that we don't treat them equally we treat them individually based on what is best for them.

[jejily]

For the OP -- Just from my own experience, I can say that I really, really wish I had homeschooled ALL my children. One of my biggest regrets, for sure.

 

May I suggest that you let the 7yo homeschool with you for the rest of the year, with the understanding that this semester is a "trial run" and if it doesn't work out, she'll be back in PS next year. It would be easier to pull her out half-way through the year (to homeschool than to send her back half-way through the next year if it ends up not being a good fit for you (or her). Just my $0.02. As others have said, though, only you know what's best for your family.

[TN Mama]

 

For those that have other kids going to school while you home school another - how have you handled this situation?

 

Thanks.

 

I know it's difficult and I'm sorry. :grouphug: I currently hs my 7 year old and my 6 year old is in public school. Even though my younger enjoys school and loves her teachers there are many days we deal with tears and not wanting to go because she too wants to stay home. It breaks my heart. She is fine by the time she gets into her classroom (I have spoken to her teacher.), but it helped me make the decision to homeschool both girls next year. Best of luck to you.

[Carrie12345]

My oldest was in ps last year, while everyone else was home. He didn't seem to mind *too much, but I hated it. Trying to schedule homeschool work, activities, errands and housework around the school's bus schedule, vacation schedule, and activities schedule was a nightmare.

 

Even though I have an additional child home now, I feel like I have so much more time!

[flyingmommy]

Sounds like a familiar story. Last year, we pulled our older dd (then 6th gr) out of ps and kept her home. We were doing K12 through a charter school, but ended up ditching that before the end of the year and went straight home school. She came home at Thanksgiving. After a few weeks, her sister (then 1st gr) started begging to stay home, too. After a bout of illness that kept her sick off and on for over a month and some other things the school was doing that just plain ticked me off, I decided God was trying to tell me something. I just went up and unenrolled her and she started doing school at home as well in February.

 

When we began, I really didn't think I could handle homeschooling both of them. I really thought it would be all I could do to get my older dd through her lessons. I found that schooling one as young as my second dd simply didn't take all that long and she was infinitely happier.

 

This is year 2 for us and I am reasonably happy with how things are going. We are all learning how to stay on track and stick with a schedule. Some days are not great, most days are good. Every now and then, the day is pure gold.

 

I would vote to go ahead and let her stay home. 2nd grade is not difficult or time consuming at all.

 

Also, I think you mentioned that your older dd is a social butterfly. (I get the posts mixed up sometimes) My older dd is also very social and I worried about that. When I mentioned it to her, her answer was, "Mommy, that's part of the problem. At school, it's too hard to concentrate because there's too much going on and too many friends. I pay attention to them too much." I thought that was pretty insightful for her. And I was impressed that she seemed to truly understand how difficult it was for her to pay attention and she recognized how much it was hurting her performance in school.

 

Good luck whatever you decide.

 

Jeannie

[SherryTX]

Thanks - some good advice, and I appreciate everyone sharing their experiences.

 

While pulling the 7 year old out now with her sister would be easier than putting her back in half way through the school if it doesn't work out would be easier - I just don't feel ready to take her out yet. Rebecca is very bright, but can be a handful, and I am worried that trying to start with two right now would be a disaster.

 

But I would like to homes school both of them. I would love to have her home for 2nd grade because I fully intend (unless something major changes) to have Rebecca home for 4th grade - and probably through middle school and even high school as well.

 

Olivia was pretty good about it today, though she made it clear she needed more time with me (yet again) and so we read a few books together.

 

It kinda breaks my heart a little, she is SUCH a sweet kid. But I think I would be doing her a disservice right now because I at least need to get some of the ground work done.

[Mom0012]

I think you are smart to start with what you know you can handle, especially with a 1 year old on the loose. I do hope things work out so that you can hs your 7 year old next year though.

 

Lisa

[dragons in the flower bed]

He really felt very detached from the family. He said that we would talk about homeschooling, or we would reference things that had happened during the day of which he was not a part, and he just felt very alone. He struggles with fitting into our family anyway, and this school choice did not help at all.

 

I'm seeing this with my partner's son, who lives with his mom, and this year began to attend school after three years of homeschooling with us. He's out of the loop, doesn't get our inside jokes, and misses his siblings, who had been his closest friends. He feels committed to finishing out this year, but asked his dad, "please don't make me go back there next year!" (Not that we made him go back -- it was his idea at his mom's urging.)

[Mommy22alyns]

Well, a 2 day a week MDO preschool isn't the same as FT schooling, but Sylvia did that for a few months while I HSed Becca. She preferred to be home with Mommy and Becca and actually frequently talked about it while she was at preschool. :001_wub: I didn't know that until I went to get her things when I withdrew her. She's always been a Mommy's girl and a bit more of a homebody - preschool just wasn't her scene.

[lionfamily1999]

My dd is a little jealous of the time I spend with my older ds now. However, I've left the door open for her to join us. It's really, at this point, up to her.

 

Tell your dd, she can try homeschooling this summer, to see if she likes it. Then, if it all works out, you can continue, if not, she hasn't missed any school and all can go back to the way it was. That's the offer my dd has as well.