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Well good luck with that. I think Kellymom is THE best breastfeeding site there is. It's my absolute go-to when I need info or others need help. I LOVE it. Their articles are extremely well researched and referenced.

I'm sorry you felt hurt by the article. I think their main aim is the support of breastfeeding mothers so I guess perhaps you weren't the target audience.

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I think their main aim is the support of breastfeeding mothers so I guess perhaps you weren't the target audience.

I don't know what this means. It seems perfectly reasonable for someone whose child is weaning - particularly someone who intends to follow child-led weaning - to look at articles when it appears that is what is happening before they intend. I'm not trying to slap you or anything, just not understanding how Amber would not be the "target audience" from her blog entry.

 

I remember reading that article when my 13 month old weaned, literally with a "no. no, t'anks" and dismissive wave over her shoulder, and came away with the same feeling: if my child weaned before the "standard", it was purely due to something I had done "wrong" and was secretly "encouraging" weaning.

 

Except... yeah, none of their list applied. I fed on demand, had lost exactly one pound from her birth until that point, hadn't introduced solids before that magical age of six months (I think it was later), and wasn't taking any medications... in short there was nothing new in our routine except Bailey's lack of desire.

 

On the other hand, the boys weaned at 3 1/2. They also did not follow the prescribed trajectory, just seemed, over the course of a few days, to forget how.

 

I think their articles are normally very informative and helpful, particularly for new moms and moms having problems. And I think this article would be helpful for moms reaching that year mark and planning to continue, but maybe having pressure to wean or start BC or start a diet... For those whose kids do wean earlier than "prescribed", though, it feels accusatory. They could do a better job in stressing that every child is different and not all will follow that model, even though it's common.

 

Know what I mean?

Edited by MyCrazyHouse
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I don't know what this means. It seems perfectly reasonable for someone whose child is weaning - particularly someone who intends to follow child-led weaning - to look at articles when it appears that is what is happening before they intend. I'm not trying to slap you or anything, just not understanding how Amber would not be the "target audience" from her blog entry.

 

And I think this article would be helpful for moms reaching that year mark and planning to continue, but maybe having pressure to wean or start BC or start a diet... For those whose kids do wean earlier than "prescribed", though, it feels accusatory. They could do a better job in stressing that every child is different and not all will follow that model, even though it's common.

 

Know what I mean?

 

:iagree:

 

 

The first parts of the article was helpful. They give infromation about weaning and acknowledge that it's a family decision. I just do not agree with some of their definitions of "mother-led weaning" as opposed to "self-weaning".

 

I found the next to the last segment accusatory. If you don't offer the breast often(who defines that?), but instead go by the child's nursing cues, you are weaning. Haven't we been told to nurse on demand and not a schedule? Why then, is it now considered "weaning" if I only nurse when the child wants to? (And I am aware that babies give other cues than crying, which is a late cue)

 

If you don't carry or hold your baby enough that's weaning? Once children learn to walk and run they do it. They explore. Letting them fulfiill that natural tendency is some kind of secret weaning on your part?

 

There's a paragraph on what to do when a child "doesn't want to stop and nurse". If I don't do what they say, am I secretly weaning?

Edited by Blessedfamily
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:iagree:

 

This is exactly the point i am getting at. They may have loads of VERY good information but what they imply on that page isn't very nice for some of us who's DC have self weaned 'early'. I don't have my back up about it, like i said on my blog, thick skinned, but i can see some people feeling great that their baby has self weaned only to to be told they did something wrong. Kind of a slap in the face don't you think. It would be VERY disheartening for some women.

 

They should be more positive and supportive instead of implying if your DC didn't nurse until the magical 18m mark you did something wrong.

 

I'm working on getting a comments section up on the blog and would love for you to leave responses to this and other articles in the future.

 

Thanks for checking it out :D

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  • 1 month later...

I was kicked off of Kellymom boards several times b/c I was trying to help mom's whose babies don't sleep. ANY sleep training discussion at all is not allowed. My advice was to wake up 5-20 minutes before baby would normally wake and tickle them or make a noise just enough to arouse them to stir but not awaken. This actually resets the sleep cycle and keeps them sleeping. They said that was sleep training and kicked me off for 6 weeks! So sorry moms who are homicidal from lack of sleep, there is no help for you... deal with it.

 

I think they have the best information about breastfeeding, and support to help mom continue... but they sure know how to make a mom feel guilty, and they are not helpful on the forums at all if you want advice on mother lead weaning. They tell you not to do it every time. You have to be weaning in order to take seizure medication, etc. in order to get any support to wean at all.

 

But for other advice they are invaluable. Just don't expect help on weaning or sleeping. ;)

 

whew! I needed that. So did you apparantly. :)

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Amber, I called my pediatrician crying hysterically (fortunately she was a friend :lol:) when my ds weaned himself at 11 1/2 months. She very sweetly reassured me that that was the right time for him otherwise he would not have weaned himself and told me I could express milk and give it to him in a cup. Articles like the one you referenced just add guilt and shame to an already emotionally charged situation. It is more encouraging for mothers of children who self wean early to read an article written with empathy and suggestions for how to cope with the situation. Good for you for putting your story out there to encourage other mothers!

Edited by Kanga
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On behalf of all mothers who have had their share of struggles with nursing, THANK YOU! for your loving encouragement! My first nursing experience was horrifying (10 days). My second was a DREAM (22 months) and my third self-weaned at 10 months which was not what I thought would happen. I was so sad! Just wanted to say thank you!:grouphug: I cannot stand when moms harp on women about how long they nurse.

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It's up now. I decide not to tweak and just let it out there. It isn't too harsh. Article titled 'Babies who Self-Wean'.

 

Enjoy

 

I didn't find the Kelly Mom article in the least offensive, and I had a baby who had almost entirely self-weaned by 11 months, totally by 13. I thought it was very helpful in confirming that, yes, he self-weaned--and for the reasons I thought he did. It also contained useful pointers for encouraging my second child to stay on the breast longer (since the breast is better). (They were actually the same strategies that I'd already considered, but DS weaned SO gradually that I hardly noticed until it was too late to do anything.)

 

So to me, it was extremely helpful!

 

On-demand nursing being a "weaning technique" is pretty stupid, though, and you better believe I'll be done w/night nursing before DD is a year. I don't sleep "hanging out", so to speak, so my kids don't react to every twitch in the night by nursing. They have to wake up enough to wake me enough to offer. (I think arguments in the middle of the night with a 2-y-o is a sign you messed up somewhere along the way!) This lengthens the first sleep stretch, and then the baby can begin the night somewhere other than your bed, even if he/she ends up there before morning. I have EXTREMELY high-maintenance babies, so we play the "set the baby down" game up until they're walking. :-P People who advocate baby-wearing crack me up--"What, you mean that some people have babies who don't flip out every time they're set down????" NOT wearing isn't an option for us!

Edited by Reya
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