lauraw4321 Posted March 14 Share Posted March 14 (edited) Nvm. Edited March 15 by lauraw4321 I’m dumb. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TexasProud Posted March 14 Share Posted March 14 Wish I had advice, but several areas where I can completely relate. My boundaries are pretty good actually, but yeah, I have no clue how to figure out what "I" want. Hugs. I guess does money or flexibility mean more? Will you have time to enjoy the money and/or do you need it for future goals like retirement or child's college? 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corraleno Posted March 14 Share Posted March 14 As someone who previously worked really crazy long hours in a very high stress job, I know too well the incredible toll that takes on your mind and body — and you really don't realize how bad it is until you're out of it. Stress not only shortens your life, it drains all the joy out of the time that you do get, so I would choose the option that gives you the most flexibility and the least stress. If you ask people on their deathbed what they would have done differently, not many are going to say that they wish they'd worked longer hours at a more stressful job, but many will likely say they wish they spent more time with their kids when they were little. If your signature is accurate, you've got less than a decade before all your kids are grown and flown, so I would make the most of the time you have with them, because it's going to be gone in the blink of an eye. 4 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TexasProud Posted March 14 Share Posted March 14 Another question is, why are you considering leaving the job you are in now? What about it is making you want to leave? Can that be changed? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lauraw4321 Posted March 14 Author Share Posted March 14 (edited) 10 hours ago, TexasProud said: Another question is, why are you considering leaving the job you are in now? What about it is making you want to leave? Can that be changed? Edited March 15 by lauraw4321 I’m 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TexasProud Posted March 14 Share Posted March 14 Ah... tough spot. I see the delima. I do wonder, though, if the private more money more hours will be feasible with kids still in the house. Might depend on the hours and how much you love the work, age of kids, etc. Life is complicated. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunshine State Sue Posted March 14 Share Posted March 14 1 hour ago, lauraw4321 said: what other people want/expect from me. wrt work: what do other people/want expect from you? I can't help you with your values and desires. That is something you need to determine for yourself. I can tell you that, for me, I never have had any desire for full-time employment. Pre-child it was okay as a young professional. But there is so much more to life. There always seems to be pressure for more. At least where I have worked in corporate america. Dh, while always gainfully employed until retirement at 69yo, never made half of what I could make full-time. So, I have always had to work. Fortunately, I was able to work 20hrs/wk with family health benefits for 12 years after ds was born. Then, I had to work 30hrs/wk for family health benefits. Then I was persuaded to take full-time pay for 30hrs/wk. I kind of regret that because I didn't feel right about it. A little over a year ago, I resigned because I wanted to work 20hrs/wk and get health benefits and that wasn't an option at the company. 2 days later, I was offered (same company) 20hrs/wk with health benefits. I say my age is Medicare minus 2. Working until 65 can be a slog. And I mostly like my job. I like work-life balance even better. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prairiewindmomma Posted March 14 Share Posted March 14 A few questions to ponder as you try to sort things out: 1. Have you been in a place of satisfaction with working before? Was it the people? The work? Your ability to be authentic? Or, if work has generally been dissatisfactory, are you in a place where you can accept you arent likely to feel like you have good work balance/fit in/etc.? I would say that I know few attorneys, especially those 20 years in, who feel like they are thriving. But, most keep at it and find places of joy elsewhere in life. 2. The things I hear you say about the private firm seem to revolve around things you’ve heard others say or a feeling of imposter syndrome. Why cant you work hard and make a good living? Why is that bad? 1 Tim 5:8 and 5:18 should also be considered if you are looking at this through a scriptural lens. 3. With kids still at home, I really value flexibility. Unless you have a backup system to cover sick kids, family crises, and household management, for me—I would prioritize flexibility. My dh would handle that differently. He’d hire a house manager if I died. That’s ok too. Figure out how best to meet the realities in front of you. Best wishes!!❤️ 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lauraw4321 Posted March 14 Author Share Posted March 14 (edited) 8 hours ago, prairiewindmomma said: A few questions to ponder as you try to sort things out: 1. Have you been in a place of satisfaction with working before? Was it the people? The work? Your ability to be authentic? Or, if work has generally been dissatisfactory, are you in a place where you can accept you arent likely to feel like you have good work balance/fit in/etc.? I would say that I know few attorneys, especially those 20 years in, who feel like they are thriving. But, most keep at it and find places of joy elsewhere in life. Best wishes!!❤️ Edited March 15 by lauraw4321 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KungFuPanda Posted March 14 Share Posted March 14 How much time do you need off work to feel rested? Or at least not frantic? Can you decide which job is best for an ideal number of hours for you? If all your obligations suddenly stopped do you know which tasks you’d miss and which ones you’d be relieved not to do? One of my BFFs is a lawyer and she went completely remote during Covid and isn’t going back to a law office ever. She goes to court, and occasional work events but works from home most days and loves it. She’s on a judge track so being a homebody hasn’t hurt her career. Can you practice saying No? Say no to the next thing you don’t want to do and see how it feels. It’s hard at first but you’ll learn very quickly that the discomfort is much easier to manage than whatever task someone is trying to give you. Try saying “Oh, you’ll have to find someone else for this one. I don’t have the bandwidth for it right now.” Don’t apologize. Just don’t accept the task. Ask yourself what is the worst thing that will happen if YOU don’t do The Thing? If the worst thing is Aunt Susie gets huffy but you get a free Saturday, then say No. I flat out told someone the other day that I can no longer plan more than one thing in a day. It doesn’t matter what time my morning plans end, I’m not making afternoon plans. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prairiewindmomma Posted March 14 Share Posted March 14 IIRC, you’re partner here, not staff, right? Does that factor in at all either, one way or another? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted March 14 Share Posted March 14 Interoception clues may give you some hints about what you really do and don't want. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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