I failed completely

[alchemdestiny]

I pulled my child out of school in the 2nd grade and decided to homeschool him. All three years, I was having a psychotic episode. He learned almost nothing and the learning loss is monumental. 

How do I fix what has been broken? He doesn't know how to learn anymore. 

[8filltheheart]

8 minutes ago, alchemdestiny said:

I pulled my child out of school in the 2nd grade and decided to homeschool him. All three years, I was having a psychotic episode. He learned almost nothing and the learning loss is monumental. 

How do I fix what has been broken? He doesn't know how to learn anymore. 

Treat your situation as critical remediation.  The focus should be on getting him up to grade level in math, reading, and writing.  All other subjects are taught at an introductory level in middle and high school.   

[Kiara.I]

Some people unschool. It's not at all impossible to fix.

Have you chosen a math? Or a language arts? Jump in there.

 

Make sure that what you start with is sustainable for you right now. Maybe just do language arts and math for now, and leave the rest to documentaries. After a few weeks of consistency, then add another subject. But don't overload right away and risk crashing for yourself, either, you know?

[alchemdestiny]

Well, he's back in school now. In that case, would unschooling still be effective?

[sweet2ndchance]

Unschooling is the exact opposite of institutional schooling. I suppose you could unschool in the afterschool hours by providing a learning rich environment at home but if he is already turned off to learning, it probably won't help.

If he's back in school, let the school determine his learning issues and what needs to be done. If he is significantly behind, I imagine you will be called in for an IEP meeting soon. Late September and into October is when first IEP meetings typically occur. Once you know what the school considers to be his areas that need the most help, you can then decide if tutoring afterschool will help or hinder him.

I put my youngest in school last year knowing full well he was significantly behind in reading. I tried my best but I just could not get this kid reading, after teaching all of his older siblings to read, and we were butting heads over it every. single. day. Putting him in public school has been the best decision for him. I have considered tutoring him in reading to help accelerate him but honestly, he hasn't needed it. He is making significant progress with what the school is doing with him in his IEP. I think tutoring him myself would just cause us to butt heads again.

In your case, I would say what's done is done and wait to see what the school says before making any more decisions about his education.

[maize]

OK, he's back in school now, in 5th grade. Is that correct?

He can catch up. Kids do it all the time. I promise his brain has not forgotten how to learn, learning is what human brains are adapted to do. 

Does he read fluently? What are the areas of greatest concern? What is his teacher saying? Does the school have a remediation plan for him? Can you afford outside tutoring or do you have the time and energy yourself to work with him outside of achool?

[alchemdestiny]

The area of greatest concern is his writing. His handwriting is kindergarten level with a lot of kindergarten level misspellings. 

[maize]

Handwriting can certainly be remediated. 

I would separate out handwriting and spelling. 

Does the school expect print or cursive handwriting? Do they have a preferred style? If they don't care what style you use, I would get some handwriting workbooks in whatever style you and/or he prefer (if he has a preference and you go with that, you will get more buy-in). I personally favor D'Nealian and similar modern italic styles for print, but any style is fine. Get a workbook that takes him systematically through letter formation. If he responds to incentives, offer him incentives to get through it--handwriting practice is boring and may feel babyish to him.

Once he has basic letter strokes down, move on to copywork. You can purchase copywork workbooks, or you can make your own worksheets, or you can give him a book to copy from and just remind him to form the letters as he practiced. Copywork will help with spelling. 

If you want more explicit spelling instruction, hopefully others will address that; I have never yet found a spelling program that I love.

You might talk to his teacher and suggest he work on handwriting and copywork in the place of any assigned writing homework for now.

Edited September 22, 2023 by maize

[Slache]

I understand why you're using terms like failed and monumental, but he's only in 5th grade and he's going to be ok. He's going to need extra help and you can talk to the school about it, but you didn't ruin him.

I'm sorry this happened. Big hugs.

[Slache]

For handwriting and spelling look at Logic of English or Spelling Lessons Through Literature. Both cover phonetic spelling and handwriting, including cursive.

For math facts look at Xtra Math. It's free online.

If you read out loud at bedtime check out Story of The World.

[8filltheheart]

What feedback are you getting from the school?  Are they the ones expressing priority concern over handwriting and spelling?  

[HomeAgain]

I don't want to be mean, but I will lay it out: after 3 years of doing nothing at home, the worst thing you can do is to add any sort of additional work now that he's spending 8 hours in school every day.

Just support him.  Sit there with him and help him navigate skills needed for homework.  Do what the teacher suggests. And then stop. But you aren't going to make up for 3 years very quickly and it's going to be doubly hard with a new schedule and routine to get used to.  You can't pile on now to make up for before.  I wouldn't even suggest trying.  Just be his support person.

[alchemdestiny]

The main concern was him completing his work. But I think if he was more confident in his writing and comprehension, he would complete his work. 

17 hours ago, 8filltheheart said:

What feedback are you getting from the school?  Are they the ones expressing priority concern over handwriting and spelling?  

 

[EKS]

21 hours ago, alchemdestiny said:

Well, he's back in school now. In that case, would unschooling still be effective?

I would not use unschooling as a means to provide intensive remediation.  I think what the PP meant was that kids who are unschooled and end up being grossly behind are able to catch up.

If you really want to afterschool him, I'd do the following:

• Have him do five minutes of handwriting practice each day.
• Have him read aloud to you from books that are easy for him to read.  Gradually increase the reading level.  He should work up to being able to read aloud for 20-30 minutes at a time.  If he is already a good reader you can skip this step.
• If math facts are a problem, have him practice those.
• Read aloud to him--literature, history, and science.  Aim for interesting.
• Make sure he does any homework the school assigns to the best of his ability.  Fill gaps as needed.