Forget-Me-Not Posted October 15, 2022 Share Posted October 15, 2022 My MIL and 2 SILS live ~2.5 hours away from us. They live near a venue that has a Halloween event that DD14 wants to attend. *Both* SILs mentioned the event to DD and she’s been talking about going. I was literally in the process tonight of figuring out what time might work for us, with the intent of checking with them to see if we could all go together. Then my college age son (who is about an hour away from them in a different direction) mentioned that he had dinner with MIL and one of the SILs and they already have plans to go with a 3rd SIL who is coming from out of town. Just to be clear, this is MIL and her 3 daughters. None of the daughters-in-law are ever included. My one SIL asked once if I’d be interested in doing a girls weekend with them. I said yes. They’ve had several since since then, and haven’t even made an effort to hide the fact that they’re having them, and never once have I been invited or included. To make matters worse, MIL is coming to visit tomorrow and I’m going to have to play nice while I’m seething inside. I’m probably also not going to be able to get it past DD that they’ve made plans to go without her. 🤬🤬🤬 15 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted October 15, 2022 Share Posted October 15, 2022 "Ds said you were going to Cool Thing! Hooray! Dd wanted to go so I'll bet we'll see you there!" Beats seething. *shrug* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted October 15, 2022 Share Posted October 15, 2022 5 minutes ago, Rosie_0801 said: "Ds said you were going to Cool Thing! Hooray! Dd wanted to go so I'll bet we'll see you there!" Beats seething. *shrug* Yes! I wouldn't keep quiet about it -- I would absolutely make a point of mentioning it! 12 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted October 15, 2022 Share Posted October 15, 2022 6 minutes ago, Rosie_0801 said: "Ds said you were going to Cool Thing! Hooray! Dd wanted to go so I'll bet we'll see you there!" Beats seething. *shrug* Yes, this. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arcadia Posted October 15, 2022 Share Posted October 15, 2022 Would you be able to bring your daughter for the Halloween event? Even though your SIL mentioned the event to her, your daughter may not be assuming that your SILs would be bringing her along. For example, my mom has three sisters. Two of the sisters lived together so if they mentioned an event to us when we were kids, it means one of them would be willing to bring us. The other sister is very nice too but her mentioning any event is as a fyi and doesn’t carry the assumption that she would be free to bring us there. I can understand you and your family are upset at being left out. Your SIL might have ask about you coming along for the girls weekend out of goodwill or politeness but got vetoed by her sisters and/or mom. My MIL favors her oldest son’s wife. I am on one hand happy to be excluded, and on the other hand annoyed at the blatant favoritism she displays to her oldest son’s family. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forget-Me-Not Posted October 15, 2022 Author Share Posted October 15, 2022 (edited) I can and probably will take her, but the time they are likely going will be different from the time we can go. It’s just the absolute obtuseness and sheer carelessness. It’s more about the pattern than the event for me. But I am debating saying something frank this time. Oh and to address a question upthread, this was absolutely mentioned in an “Oh we should all go!” kind of way. I was present for that conversation. This is a girls night out kind of event, and the implication was absolutely that we would all go as a group. Edited October 15, 2022 by Forget-Me-Not 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heartstrings Posted October 15, 2022 Share Posted October 15, 2022 (edited) Can you make it awkward for the MIL tomorrow? Go ahead and pretend you don’t know that you’ve been excluded. Talk about SIL mentioning it and how excited DD is and try to set up a time. Make her backpedal and stammer around. Put her on the spot, make it awkward and a little embarrassing for her. Then go on with taking your daughter yourself. Edited October 15, 2022 by Heartstrings 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted October 15, 2022 Share Posted October 15, 2022 I'm sorry. That stinks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted October 15, 2022 Share Posted October 15, 2022 1 hour ago, Forget-Me-Not said: I can and probably will take her, but the time they are likely going will be different from the time we can go. It’s just the absolute obtuseness and sheer carelessness. It’s more about the pattern than the event for me. But I am debating saying something frank this time. Oh and to address a question upthread, this was absolutely mentioned in an “Oh we should all go!” kind of way. I was present for that conversation. This is a girls night out kind of event, and the implication was absolutely that we would all go as a group. I would be frank about it for sure! Why should you be polite and act like nothing is wrong? 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arcadia Posted October 15, 2022 Share Posted October 15, 2022 That is such Queen Bee behavior, it feels like they are taunting your daughter. I would on one hand call them out on it while being happy I don’t need to put up with them during the event. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Storygirl Posted October 15, 2022 Share Posted October 15, 2022 If it were me, I would remind MIL that she had talked to DD about going and tell MIL that DD was sad that she hadn't been included. It gives MIL a chance to make it up to DD, if she so desires. I think you can do this without being confrontational. I'm sorry they aren't including you in their girls outings. That would be hurtful. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Storygirl Posted October 15, 2022 Share Posted October 15, 2022 And I don't think your feelings, or your daughter's feelings, are petty. I'm glad you can vent here. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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