How to motivate kids to work when I’m not there

[Condessa]

Weird question for a homeschooling mom of elementary kids, but does anyone have suggestions for how to get my kids to do their work with the babysitter when I’m not there?

I’m currently spending ~four hours on three days a week during school time taking  my six-year-old to medical appointments (he has cancer).  Since sending the other kids to school isn’t an option right now, I have managed this by paring down school to the bare minimum and spending very long school days on the other two days a week doing most of my direct teaching.  This has worked okay.  They have shorter school days on the doctor visit days, all subjects they can complete mostly independently with sometimes a little help from the babysitter or a sibling.  Especially at first, they very much had an attitude of being willing to pull together to get through this, and (with the exception of one kid) mostly tried to get their independent work done while I was gone.  Over a month later, this has worn off and they are back to acting like normal kids who try to get out of work when they can.  With the mix of workbooks, apps, and an online math that also has a games option, it’s very difficult for the babysitter to know whether they have actually done what they were supposed to.  This has gradually worsened until today only one of the five older kids completed her math.  
 

What would you do?  

[prairiewindmomma]

When I was in your shoes, I created a very simple checklist for each kid to do on my computer for each kid with the subjects and materials labels pre-done. I printed it weekly, and just handwrote the assignments into blanks.  It took all of about 20 minutes to do across the kids.  If it was app time, or online math or another digital resource, it just simply said what that was (lesson #43 in K12 or 30 minutes on Khan academy or whatever).  My babysitter (usually my mom) had a pad of stickers. When she verified that the lesson had been done, the sticker went onto the box.  As a parent, I backed up whatever the babysitter had decided, even if some small portion had been forgotten.

Each kid was released from school time to go play when completed. X number of stickers = prize from the prize box.  (Amazon has a wide collection of prize boxes to be ordered, fwiw---either snack boxes, or fidget toys--whatever your budget allows. I picked highly motivating things for my kids--lego minikits, sweets, and Barbie clothes--because everyone needed to buy into the system.  Redemption day was at the end of the week, when I was home and had a chance to work through everything.  That also held me accountable to the system.

But, seriously, as many moving pieces as you can drop off of the schedule, go for it.  I shared previously that we did story of the world audio for everyone K-6.  We likewise did science together.  Prioritize phonics and math.

[theelfqueen]

So my first response was "pay them." 

I'm not a big believer in independent work for most kids. Remember when you were in school and the teacher left the room? Yeah. That's not school kids that's just kids lol

Try to set aside fun, appealing videos and apps for that time as much as possible. 

[Condessa]

13 minutes ago, theelfqueen said:

I'm not a big believer in independent work for most kids. Remember when you were in school and the teacher left the room? Yeah. That's not school kids that's just kids lol

Neither am I in theory, (at least not in elementary) but sometimes necessity dictates.  

[theelfqueen]

Oh I get that so ...bribery and videos and funny books and games .... 

[kiwik]

I would do a couple of hours of school around the medical appointments and call it good.

[prairiewindmomma]

6 hours ago, kiwik said:

I would do a couple of hours of school around the medical appointments and call it good.

Right, but part of this is also that some of the school burden is being carried by another. OP has a lot of kids at home and all of the laundry, dishes, and meal prep attendant with that. She also has the foster care wheel to keep going—all of that paperwork and appointments. The medical stuff isn’t just the appointment and travel time. I think I spent 10-15 hours a week just going through medical bills, insurance statements, calendaring appointments, and reordering meds. (Speaking of which—if you don’t have a medical backpack with a flex file and a calendar slid in the front—super handy to keep all of that together in a grab and go way!)

She has added 30 hours a week of work to an already overflowing week. She needs people to be taking stuff off of her back because she is the hinge point to keep this all going. If her husband is like mine, he is working long hours to keep the income and insurance going.

[lulalu]

Is the babysitter able to help in teaching or just able to facilitate? 

For my son a check list is needed for him to do stuff on his own. He can only handle day by day not a week's worth. 

Then he needs a reward to work towards. I let him pick what he really wants. We do it by the month. 

My situation is totally different I have had months where moving and work required too much from me to school as well. For three months I had back up that was able to teach and that made it so much easier. So if the babysitter can teach as well maybe have some games for math? Or a book for her to read and them to narrate? Right start math has a game book that covers a lot of skills and concepts. 

[Drama Llama]

On 2/2/2021 at 11:53 AM, prairiewindmomma said:

Right, but part of this is also that some of the school burden is being carried by another. OP has a lot of kids at home and all of the laundry, dishes, and meal prep attendant with that. She also has the foster care wheel to keep going—all of that paperwork and appointments. The medical stuff isn’t just the appointment and travel time. I think I spent 10-15 hours a week just going through medical bills, insurance statements, calendaring appointments, and reordering meds. (Speaking of which—if you don’t have a medical backpack with a flex file and a calendar slid in the front—super handy to keep all of that together in a grab and go way!)

She has added 30 hours a week of work to an already overflowing week. She needs people to be taking stuff off of her back because she is the hinge point to keep this all going. If her husband is like mine, he is working long hours to keep the income and insurance going.

Yes to all of this. 

Also, hospital days can be anxiety provoking and draining, both for the parent and child at the hospital, and for the siblings at home.  There were definitely seasons when we weren't walking in the door ready to homeschool. We needed to reconnect and do something together.

In our house, we have a system where the kids know that certain things are off limits until they're done with "school" for the day.  If they aren't finished they know they can't play video games, or do a few other things.  And a lot of times that's motivating.  If they aren't motivated by video games, then I assume they need a break.  I don't scold or give them double work tomorrow. We schooled through the summer, so we have the leeway to do that.  

[BlsdMama]

Like you, between medical stuff, large family needs, and juggling the education of many kids, I can’t remember what *I* need to do with each child and they need to do that I need to hold them accountable for! 
 

I needed to make life easier and that means checklists. Each child has a checklist, as do I. 
 

They’re just made in Excel. I try to choose “Do the next thing” materials... While that’s not my ideal, I needed school getting done so I could stop feeling guilty and put that energy towards other things that were worthwhile. If I were you, in the thick of the trials, I’d simplify even more. I use Rod & Staff English two grades below so that it’s largely self teaching. I use Nicole the Math Lady to teach math and to check math - she sends me an email to let me know how it goes. I combine some, where it makes sense and can be done easily, but I have given myself permission that it’s okay to not have to go to super human lengths trying to combine everyone. 

 

Edited February 8, 2021 by BlsdMama

[73349]

Can you add another day (Saturday?) as a school day? And/or lengthen your year? We've always done ~220 short days instead of taking long breaks. You don't have to be "done" when PS lets out for summer.

[kiwik]

On 2/3/2021 at 5:53 AM, prairiewindmomma said:

Right, but part of this is also that some of the school burden is being carried by another. OP has a lot of kids at home and all of the laundry, dishes, and meal prep attendant with that. She also has the foster care wheel to keep going—all of that paperwork and appointments. The medical stuff isn’t just the appointment and travel time. I think I spent 10-15 hours a week just going through medical bills, insurance statements, calendaring appointments, and reordering meds. (Speaking of which—if you don’t have a medical backpack with a flex file and a calendar slid in the front—super handy to keep all of that together in a grab and go way!)

She has added 30 hours a week of work to an already overflowing week. She needs people to be taking stuff off of her back because she is the hinge point to keep this all going. If her husband is like mine, he is working long hours to keep the income and insurance going.

I have never had a kid require medical care on an oncoming basis.  I do work 30+ hours a week and am a solo parent.  If your kids will work with support from the sitter that is workable but if the resist actively or passively it really isn't.  It might work better to have the sitter and the kids do the housework and cook.  ds11 can do most of Lantern English by himself and some of maths plus coding.  This plus music practice and exercise is supposed to occupy him for 3 hours.  If he watched documentaries I would add one.