Minimal Mom youtube and other minimalist musings

[ktgrok]

51 minutes ago, Katy said:

 

Yeah, I played that manifesting money episode for my sister and she said, "That is the most new-agey advice I've ever heard anyone claim is Christian."

I read that booklet she recommended too, and it's all the select word of faith verses you can think of.  It was pre word of faith movement I think, so it's not completely heretical, but it's edging right up to the line for sure.

ok, I've missed those episodes! Or been distracted - I remember an episode about her sister "declaring" her wishes for a husband and I get yucky feelings when people talk too much about how the Lord is faithful and turn that into you won't ever not get what you need, just given how many people on the planet don't have what they need. But hadn't seen anything about a booklet. 

29 minutes ago, maize said:

I don't like the holiday to be focused on receiving; it is a religious holiday for us, a time for spiritual contemplation and rejoicing, for singing together, for giving to others, for enjoying family time.

 

I don't want it to be about receiving either, but the flip side of that is giving. Even my littles get more excited to give a gift they picked out to a sibling than to open one. Now, obviously they also receive, but that doesn't mean that is the focus. 

[ktgrok]

1 minute ago, Arctic Mama said:

Yeah, that doesn’t terribly surprise me because it’s so common, but I’ll know to avoid those episodes - thanks 🙂

And I hate to even say avoid - a lot of those episodes don't go into that I think, and all of them have other messages beside that. But the one about Diana's declaration for her husband rubs me the wrong way, and I think there are a few others. I don't think she's full on prosperity gospel by any stretch, but yeah, once you know what prosperity gospel is, anything that even sort of tastes of it leaves you with a bad taste in your mouth. It smacks of victim blaming to me, which she does NOT do, but I can't help but have my mind go there. 

She does point out that this is NOT magic, and things like saying prayers/declarations or whatever help your brain focus, they don't just manifest something out of thin air, so that's at least not full on heresy 🙂 But I know you have similar feelings on that whole thing as I do so wanted to warn you. 

But most of her videos are just SO refreshing and helpful to me. And I like that she doesn't turn minimalism into an idol. I spent all of 5 minutes checking out the Reddit minamilsm subreddit and it was basically a lot of people with scrupulosity/OCD behaviors that had switched from hoarding to minimalism as an expression of their disease, plus some people with superiority complexes, etc. 

Less is not better just because it is less. Less is better because it makes life less stressful, or because it lets you focus on the truly important things, etc. What is important will vary from person to person. But that gets lost in some interpretations it seems. 

Also, the ones that are 20 year old single people are just totally non relatable, as are the ones that are focused on minimalism as a decor style rather than a functional thing. I actually don't LIKE most minimalist looks. They seem cold to me. I just want less crap to take care of and keep track of, lol! Which seems to fall into the Joshua Becker, Minimal Mom lane versus a lot of the others. 

 

 

[ktgrok]

I talked with my husband more this weekend about this, as he is by nature more hoarder than minimalist and all this decluttering makes him twitchy. Thankfully he is an AMAZING man and hasn't said ONE word negative about any of it. When asked he admits he is nervous about me getting rid of things he may have to pay for again, but only when asked. He truly is an amazing man. And he admitted when we discussed WHY I don't have an attachment to things like he does that most of it is our different backgrounds. He pointed out that my family had very little money growing up (as in, my Dad would leave the house in the morning not knowing how to afford dinner for us when he got home) but they never passed on stress about that to us, and made life special and wonderful every day anyway. They trusted they could provide what we needed, and they created the "extras" through time together, traditions, conversation, love, etc. So I grew up with a deep sense of "things will be okay" and "we can figure it out", and more attachment to people than things. 

He grew up in a house with financial insecurity, but in the sense his mother would overspend, lose her job, they'd be evicted, etc over and over. So highs and lows, and a mother that tried to prove her worth via her stuff. He talks about how it was only after our first married Christmas that he found out that not everyone piles up all the unwrapped presents and takes a picture of them Christmas day to show how much they got. (he started to do it and I was like, what are you DOING??? We don't brag about gifts!)

I also came from a mom that had grown up with money in a big way, and took a huge step down financially when she married my father (her parents wouldn't come to the wedding), so she grew up prizing quality over quantity (old money). Then add in my Dad who has ZERO attachment to stuff (because he, like me, has ADHD and loses or breaks things constantly so no point in being attached) and never had a lot of toys or anything as a kid because his mom was a single mom often, taking care of 6 kids, and he also was forced to play outside rather than in the house, and well, I just wasn't raised to want/need a ton of STUFF. 

When he pointed this all out I had more sympathy for his perspective, and especially that he is REALLY trying to move beyond his background. Getting rid of stuff requires trust in your ability to get it again if you need it, and trust and optimism are not things he grew up with in any shape or form. 

But, he's getting there. And he really likes the organizing part -THAT does appeal to him. (his ideal gift is bags/boxs or organize stuff in). So our common ground is we both agree we currently have more stuff than places to put it, and we need to get to where we have more places to put stuff than stuff. He's happy to pay for more shelves and better organization and I'm happy to get rid of stuff, so we are meeting in the middle 🙂

[vonfirmath]

On 11/24/2019 at 8:39 PM, Ktgrok said:

I really like this idea. right now I have a two year old who would eat one bite out of everything, so it has to be out of reach, but soon that will be a good option. I do keep apples in the fridge, but bananas and tomatoes are out. 

I have started putting potatoes in the pantry though. 

 

Interesting, I keep tomatoes in the fridge and apples out.

 

[maize]

5 minutes ago, Arctic Mama said:

 

I do think that when you’re dealing with mom life and homeschool it becomes half purge, half smart storage.  Especially with different sexes and ages being taught. 

This is the balance I am trying to find.

Large family, smallish space, homeschooling, and budgetary constraints (we can't just re-buy everything!) means that decluttering can only be part of the picture. I'm frankly terrible at the storage side of things, that's ADHD at work I suppose. When I do come up with a new and better storage plan for something I always wonder why I didn't think of it before.

My kids' extracurricular activities have also led to the accumulation of a fair amount of gear, and I can't really get rid of it as it is outgrown because it is expensive and will very likely be used at some point by a younger child. So we have violins and Irish dance shoes and martial arts sparring gear in various sizes...all needing a place to live. In addition to the homeschool books and the coats and boots and everything else x7 kids.

[ktgrok]

39 minutes ago, maize said:

This is the balance I am trying to find.

Large family, smallish space, homeschooling, and budgetary constraints (we can't just re-buy everything!) means that decluttering can only be part of the picture. I'm frankly terrible at the storage side of things, that's ADHD at work I suppose. When I do come up with a new and better storage plan for something I always wonder why I didn't think of it before.

My kids' extracurricular activities have also led to the accumulation of a fair amount of gear, and I can't really get rid of it as it is outgrown because it is expensive and will very likely be used at some point by a younger child. So we have violins and Irish dance shoes and martial arts sparring gear in various sizes...all needing a place to live. In addition to the homeschool books and the coats and boots and everything else x7 kids.

I do think that's fair. Part of what I'm doing is trying to get rid of stuff in storage we don't need, so we can move the stuff we do need to keep into those spaces. So my closet is full of stuff we don't need. If we clear that out we can put in the stuff we DO want to keep, and it will not be all shoved in so we can see what we have. 

I did keep a storage bin of CLE unused light units and the teacher manuals for grades 1-3, and another small bin of  other things I might reuse like Abecedarian teacher guides, etc, and then I have a small number of things I'm keeping out but in a bin on a shelf that I may use this year, but I'm not sure. It doesn't need to be visually in my face ever day, but I need it accessible if I decide to pull from it as I'm still struggling to see what fits in a few areas for both kids. For instance, we were doing AAS for DD9, but after discussing and researching are right now working more on boosting her word study and orthographic skills. She HAS the phonics knowledge, it's the word mapping she needs so that she knows which phonogram (out of many that apply) goes with which word. (so that it is a sail boat, not sail bote, for instance). So instead of pushing through with AAS which really doesn't help much with that, we are doing Super Speller from Phonographix and the next level of Abecedarian, alternating, and also spending a few minutes a day on working through the most common words with some visual flashcards and the techniques advised in Equipped for Reading success. So I don't need AAS on my currently used shelf, but I also am not packing it up as we may use it later this year after boosting those mapping skills. So it is going in a fabric bin on the new cube storage unit, with some other stuff I am also not sure about. That way it isn't in my way or in my face, but accessible. And I can keep my "what we are using" shelf down to what we are actually using. But the stuff I know I won't use this year is in plastic bins in the closet. 

[katilac]

Let's see if this works, not sure if it's any new ideas but nicely consolidated:

[Carrie12345]

This conversation must be seeping into my subconscious.  I did some purging in the boys’ room yesterday and today.  I wound up with more than a garbage bag full of clothes to give away, as well as a bunch that went into the trash.  

[Katy]

Watching the Minimal Mom family is even changing DH.  We were just discussing our Christmas gifts for each other and he told me, "I have been getting into this decluttering thing so don't get me anything big."

I never thought I'd see the day.  He is was the packrat of all packrats!