Pen Posted June 11, 2019 Share Posted June 11, 2019 Is the Lutheran school near your work? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pen Posted June 11, 2019 Share Posted June 11, 2019 Ps I gave specifics in my long post above because if asked , the official rule at our ps is “kids have to leave right after school” — but the reality is that about half the school doesn’t , and in a variety of ways I suggest saying you have a picking up at 2:30 problem and ask, what alternatives might there be? also as you go to events ask other parents and you may learn of other approaches or even meet parents whose kids will be seniors when yours are freshmen and could drive them Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pen Posted June 11, 2019 Share Posted June 11, 2019 Does the Lutheran school have a late bus to the k-8 so your dc would not have to leave right after school if they had activities? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pen Posted June 11, 2019 Share Posted June 11, 2019 Also if the schools have a booster club or pto those could be useful to have contacts for Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pen Posted June 11, 2019 Share Posted June 11, 2019 37 minutes ago, SKL said: If my kids go to the Lutheran school, they would do sports there. Their non-school sports should not be an issue as they do not start until 5:00 at the earliest. Consider how many extracurriculars are realistic! Quote I am thinking of something that may or may not be possible. My sportsy kid's kiddy gym has a branch right down the street from the Lutheran high school. I wonder if they would let her go there after sports, in exchange for some help or whatever. That would make pickup more flexible. There is also a big shopping plaza right there with Starbucks etc. Also she could just learn how to take the city bus like many other kids do. Those are interesting ideas! Quote My concern is whether she would use her time wisely to do homework / study, or hang out with friends. If she’s bookish she’ll study or read. If she’s not, then very probably not unless she has wonderful executive functioning and self discipline Do you mean study = wise. Hang out with friends = foolish? Or are both what you consider wise? For teens, peer contact is very important. It’s nice if they can find (or organize) both together, like a study group Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted June 11, 2019 Author Share Posted June 11, 2019 1 hour ago, Pen said: Is the Lutheran school near your work? I work at home, so no. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted June 11, 2019 Author Share Posted June 11, 2019 1 hour ago, Pen said: Do you mean study = wise. Hang out with friends = foolish? Or are both what you consider wise? For teens, peer contact is very important. It’s nice if they can find (or organize) both together, like a study group Well it's wise to study if you have something due prior to the weekend, LOL. There is wisdom in prioritizing so both study and friends get a fair chance. They do well with study groups, but it's hard to predict whether they will have a good study group at a new school. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted June 11, 2019 Share Posted June 11, 2019 3 hours ago, SKL said: it sounds like one of my kids is leaning one way and the other is leaning the other way. It may not add much to the aggravation to have one of them at the public school. It starts earlier, so you drop dd1 off at public and continue driving to private, and wake-up time is the same. Public has earlier dismissal and you think it might be harder to find a driver - I don't agree, because you have a huge pool of parents driving their kids home if no one is taking a bus! There's bound to be someone able to drive her home or at least close enough to walk for a very reasonable fee. I don't see why there would be significantly fewer drivers available at 2.15 opposed to 3.15. There's also bound to be somewhere within walking distance where she can hang out for a while when needed. For ECs, you hire a driver anyway, so that's no different. In high school, you can expect them to be heading in different directions for that even if they are at the same school. Even school-sponsored clubs and activities meet on different days and times. No matter how many conveniences you pay for due to them being in different schools (and I'm not sure it would actually go up), it is not going to add up to anywhere near private tuition. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tanaqui Posted June 11, 2019 Share Posted June 11, 2019 Of course, there are sometimes advantages to having to put a slight amount of effort into seeing friends - not so much that you never see them, but enough that you don't waste time. My mother had breast cancer, which killed her appetite, and she was also still smoking and I bemoaned the fact that she smoked tobacco, of all things. "Why can't you smoke marijuana, if you must smoke at all? Then you'd get the munchies! You grew up in the 60s, everybody did it! Tobacco is an appetite suppressant." My mother answered this question seriously - when she was a teen she lived so far out from nearly everybody in her school that by the time she and her best friend got to the party, everybody else was already drunk and high. And when they're already stoned and you're sober, you're just not as interested, so somehow she never picked up the habit. (She did pick up tobacco, and was shocked when, last year, the doctors told her she had mild emphysema. What did she expect after 50 years?) She did see her friends and socialize with them, but she didn't waste her time on things that weren't all that interesting on their own. I'm not sure how serious this comment is, but every detail is true. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pen Posted June 11, 2019 Share Posted June 11, 2019 7 hours ago, SKL said: I work remotely on a laptop, so I normally would sit and work nearby if I had some reason to have to drive my kids to and from an activity far from home. Has that been frequent and does it work fine for you? especially near the Lutheran school— u mentioned a Starbucks for example. (Also better factor in extra costs of hanging out somewhere and waiting if it adds a few lattes a week!😉 ) Some people love that sort of thing, some don’t. My Ds had a time in a homeschooling coop around 15 miles away and another time at a private school around same distance. I made those work— but was hugely, hugely more parental wear and tear ime. Also a significant cost added IME, (not just Lattes, but more having to get food out because no time to get home). but different geographic areas are very different and different kids are different. Nighttimes in winter became especially hard when too cold to just sit in vehicle for hours, and when black ice became a problem— but again that’s going to differ in different places Needing to get dc at 11pm after a sports event or performance is hugely easier for me 3 miles from home than 15 miles. I dunno. Maybe if they each go to a different school the first year you’ll have more clarity. And maybe 2 different schools whole time would be fine too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pen Posted June 11, 2019 Share Posted June 11, 2019 3 hours ago, katilac said: It may not add much to the aggravation to have one of them at the public school. It starts earlier, so you drop dd1 off at public and continue driving to private, and wake-up time is the same. Public has earlier dismissal and you think it might be harder to find a driver - I don't agree, because you have a huge pool of parents driving their kids home if no one is taking a bus! There's bound to be someone able to drive her home or at least close enough to walk for a very reasonable fee. I don't see why there would be significantly fewer drivers available at 2.15 opposed to 3.15. There's also bound to be somewhere within walking distance where she can hang out for a while when needed. For ECs, you hire a driver anyway, so that's no different. In high school, you can expect them to be heading in different directions for that even if they are at the same school. Even school-sponsored clubs and activities meet on different days and times. No matter how many conveniences you pay for due to them being in different schools (and I'm not sure it would actually go up), it is not going to add up to anywhere near private tuition. Not sure the last paragraph true especially as some private schools have financial aid where 2 kids are barely more expensive to send than one. but ITA on the rest Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pen Posted June 11, 2019 Share Posted June 11, 2019 Also if the dd who wants public is the one who might possibly be helped more by SPED or similar service availability, and one who wants private is the one who might have social insecurity at bigger school, it might be best for each individually Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted June 11, 2019 Author Share Posted June 11, 2019 2 schools is not my preference, but besides that, the one who strongly wants to go to the Lutheran school is the one who would suffer most from the added time suck. (And if I did put her in that school, her sister would want to go with her.) I guess I need to map it out and see what exactly we're talking about here. How many hours are in the day and how they would be blocked off. How much responsibility we're talking about on the kids' part. How much cost and white hair on mine. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted June 11, 2019 Author Share Posted June 11, 2019 (edited) I should note that the public school is basically in the middle of nowhere as far as walkable places to hang at. They do have one friend near there who plans to attend that school, but she isn't the best influence iykwim. I don't want them hanging at her house all the time after school. Edited June 11, 2019 by SKL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pen Posted June 11, 2019 Share Posted June 11, 2019 (edited) 35 minutes ago, SKL said: I should note that the public school is basically in the middle of nowhere as far as walkable places to hang at. They do have one friend near there who plans to attend that school, but she isn't the best influence iykwim. I don't want them hanging at her house all the time after school. I can certainly understand that. Lessee . If it were $50 per day (and probably could be done for less) to pay someone to transport dc home from public school, for 5 days per week for 40 weeks that would be ... $10,000? ... how does that compare to the private school ? Especially for 2 kids? Edited June 11, 2019 by Pen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted June 11, 2019 Author Share Posted June 11, 2019 I'm not doing a cost comparison .. it is clear the cost of the private school will be more, no matter what incidental expenses occur. Unless it is likely that a kid coming out of public would need to take significantly more full-pay college courses. My top issues (assuming educational quality is similar) are the environment supporting our values, logistic feasibility, and access to rewarding activities without sleep deprivation. My kids' top issue seems to be continuity of their school community. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vonfirmath Posted June 11, 2019 Share Posted June 11, 2019 14 minutes ago, SKL said: I'm not doing a cost comparison .. it is clear the cost of the private school will be more, no matter what incidental expenses occur. Unless it is likely that a kid coming out of public would need to take significantly more full-pay college courses. My top issues (assuming educational quality is similar) are the environment supporting our values, logistic feasibility, and access to rewarding activities without sleep deprivation. My kids' top issue seems to be continuity of their school community. I think you will figure out a way to help your kids succeed no matter which way you go. You just have to figure out which sacrifices you want to make and which downsides to embrace. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
73349 Posted June 11, 2019 Share Posted June 11, 2019 With regard to an older friend driving them home, check local laws before supposing it's an option. Some states have rules on how many unrelated teens can ride with a teen driver. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted June 11, 2019 Share Posted June 11, 2019 1 hour ago, Pen said: Not sure the last paragraph true especially as some private schools have financial aid where 2 kids are barely more expensive to send than one. Holy heck, not around here! She said she's not eligible for need-based financial aid, and the sibling discount on 2 kids is helpful at most schools but nowhere near 2 for the price of one. Certainly not in my area! For most of our local schools, the sibling discount is K-8 only, no high school and no preschool. The sibling discount is about $1000, so maybe $8,000 in tuition for both kids instead of $9,000. If you have 4 kids attending, then you get to buy 3, get 1 free levels, lol. No discount on registration or fees. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted June 11, 2019 Author Share Posted June 11, 2019 We do qualify for a substantial tuition discount because of our church affiliation, plus a smaller sibling discount, and possibly a little bit more if my kids score well on the entrance exam. That said, it ain't cheap. But ... I've been paying tuition all these years for some reason. Sometimes I have trouble remembering what that reason is .... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pen Posted June 12, 2019 Share Posted June 12, 2019 18 hours ago, SKL said: I'm not doing a cost comparison .. it is clear the cost of the private school will be more, no matter what incidental expenses occur. Unless it is likely that a kid coming out of public would need to take significantly more full-pay college courses. My top issues (assuming educational quality is similar) are the environment supporting our values, logistic feasibility, and access to rewarding activities without sleep deprivation. My kids' top issue seems to be continuity of their school community. Then you seem to have a 50/50 split. logistics and access and less sleep deprivation would favor the public school Lutheran environment and continuity favor the Lutheran school Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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