theelfqueen Posted December 27, 2018 Share Posted December 27, 2018 Mostly just venting, getting stuff off my chest. My older brothers's wife is a pill. At some point every member of my family (both parents and younger brother) has had some kind of holiday blowout with this woman, except me ... til the other day (She and DB have been married for 25ish years) ... she says rude low level things and picks at people til that person blows up, then makes clear that thing they blew up over was ridiculous (usually true... that thing is never the only thing) and ... whatever. Plus niece and nephews are super rude, all the time.... just badly behaved teenagers but she and DB let them get away with it. This year was my turn after all these years, she pushed me over the edge and I said truly unkind things to her. I will apologize when I am calm enough not to blow up again. But I'm not there yet. Talking to her at all will just set me off at this point. I have decided not to attend further family events for quite some time (for this but mostly for the endless smoking by various family members - includes her but mostly my parents .... I have severe asthma, almost ended up in the ER on Christmas Eve, again. This is so frequent that my 13 year old asked DH "we dont have to leave until Mom has an asthma attack, right?". I have offered to host at my home - 2 miles from my parents house- my house is larger, more bathrooms, equipped with video games and a dedicated game room ... but smoking outdoors and away from the house - not in the attached to the living room garage...and been turned down, despite the cost literally being I STOP BREATHING!) So I quit. We are going to go out of town for Christmas next year. 1 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jyhwkmama Posted December 27, 2018 Share Posted December 27, 2018 Dude. That is awful. You need a looooong break with fresh air. Glad you are going to reclaim your Christmas! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted December 27, 2018 Share Posted December 27, 2018 The million tiny pricks instead of a big cut people make me nuts. Mostly because I have trouble not believing they're doing it purposefully and manipulatively. I'm sorry. Good for you being done. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted December 27, 2018 Share Posted December 27, 2018 Don't apologise. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shoeless Posted December 27, 2018 Share Posted December 27, 2018 Good for you! I hope that next Christmas is exactly what you hope for! Your SIL sounds like a bitter little pill. I wouldn't go to any more of their events, either. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted December 27, 2018 Share Posted December 27, 2018 2 hours ago, theelfqueen said: So I quit. We are going to go out of town for Christmas next year. my sister started going out of town so she wouldn't have to spend christmas with her inlaws or our grandmother. then it was becasue they liked it. they did it until their kids moved away. we refused to go, and after a few years - my mother preferred to come to my house - so grandmother started coming to our house. 9 minutes ago, Rosie_0801 said: Don't apologise. I want to like this - and I fully agree with rosie!!! do NOT apologize! 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted December 27, 2018 Share Posted December 27, 2018 1 hour ago, Rosie_0801 said: Don't apologise. I agree! Why would you apologize??? She started it, and she ALWAYS starts it with someone, so this is clearly not your fault. She should be apologizing to you!!! 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted December 27, 2018 Share Posted December 27, 2018 until you said you don't like how they smoke in your presence - even though you have asthma and you can't breathe, I was thinking you should call up the rest of your family and have a party now that you have "joined their group of being unjustly attacked by sil". 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tanaqui Posted December 27, 2018 Share Posted December 27, 2018 You can apologize if you want, but you're not obligated when everybody knows she's in the wrong. As far as the smoking goes, if nobody in your family cares enough to stop for one measly day, you should definitely do your own thing forevermore. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
homemommy83 Posted December 27, 2018 Share Posted December 27, 2018 11 hours ago, Farrar said: The million tiny pricks instead of a big cut people make me nuts. Mostly because I have trouble not believing they're doing it purposefully and manipulatively. I'm sorry. Good for you being done. It is because they are doing it intentionally...I began reiterating what manipulative people say...it appears that you feel this way...or the look on your face gives me this impression...I quit letting them bully us through the little things...and it drove them batty😉...let them deal with their words more than you do. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
homemommy83 Posted December 27, 2018 Share Posted December 27, 2018 (edited) 10 hours ago, Rosie_0801 said: Don't apologise. Again Rosie is on it this year😂...I would explain in no uncertain terms that she knew she was clearly pecking at a blown-up balloon until it popped and that in the future I will put up boundaries and if she crosses them I will politely tell her the boundary and walk away. Edited December 27, 2018 by homemommy83 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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