How do you know when it is burnout? Share your tips, experiences.

[cintinative]

If you were to describe how it feels to be burned out, what words or phrases would you use?

What questions would you ask someone to find out if they are burned out? 

Does wanting to watch puppy videos all day equal burnout or is that just the instant gratification monkey at work? ? (to meet the monkey, see https://waitbutwhy.com/2013/10/why-procrastinators-procrastinate.html)

What are your strategies for dealing with burnout in yourself when you identify it?  

[cintinative]

1 minute ago, texasmom33 said:

I'd start with listening to this: https://welltrainedmind.com/p/burning-out-why-it-happens-and-what-to-do-about-it-mp3/

 

Loading up my CD right now . . ?

[Zoo Keeper]

57 minutes ago, texasmom33 said:

I'd start with listening to this: https://welltrainedmind.com/p/burning-out-why-it-happens-and-what-to-do-about-it-mp3/

Excellent talk, even if you are not a SWB groupie.  Well worth every penny. 

[cintinative]

I just realized as I was listening to my CD (from a convention) that it was the first time she ever gave the talk (and the last time she was ever at our convention).  Bittersweet.

[cintinative]

I liked how in the talk she distinguished between the different degrees of burnout.  Also how it really is okay (and important) for us sometimes to seek out counseling as a form of self-care to help us work through rough spots.  She mentioned that we might not feel free to say "I am not a huge fan of child x right now. . ."  with our homeschooling friends but we can feel free to discuss those issues openly with a counselor. I think I do have friends that I can feel free to be that shocking with, and I realize that is a blessing.  

I think right now for me what is happening is a cumulative effect of many little things that add up, almost all of which do not deal with homeschooling.  I really liked what she said about doing a time inventory of how we spend our days and also making a list of things that don't feel like "work."  Lately, I have been pushing myself to fatigue with different things and not practicing the self-care I need to, and the net result of that physical exhaustion is less of a brain (or she might say, soul) available to apply to the challenges of homeschooling. It's so important to take that step back sometimes and look at our lives holistically and consider if perhaps we are overtapping our energies. 

Edited October 23, 2018 by cintinative

[Zoo Keeper]

((( Cintinative)))  Hope you can find some rest for your body and soul.

And you have my Official Blessing to cut back on things as needed till you find your new groove ----I knew that was what you were waiting for...? 

Seriously, take the time to evaluate and cut as needed.  Things change, and we have to give ourselves permission to change too.

Edited October 28, 2018 by Zoo Keeper

[ScoutTN]

(((Cintinative)))

[8filltheheart]

Elizabeth Foss had a great article on burn out yrs and yrs ago. It was one of the very first things ever posted on the Charlotte Mason yahoo email loop back in the 90s.  I couldn't find it, but I found this blog referencing it.  These are very Catholic bloggers, so you might not find them helpful.  http://jenniferfulwiler.com/2009/09/the-ultimate-burnout-survival-guide/

[Milknhoney]

On 10/23/2018 at 8:15 PM, 8FillTheHeart said:

Elizabeth Foss had a great article on burn out yrs and yrs ago. It was one of the very first things ever posted on the Charlotte Mason yahoo email loop back in the 90s.  I couldn't find it, but I found this blog referencing it.  These are very Catholic bloggers, so you might not find them helpful.  http://jenniferfulwiler.com/2009/09/the-ultimate-burnout-survival-guide/

Thanks for this. It had some good insights I needed. I will have to go back and reread when my brain doesn't feel like fried eggs. I need to buy the SWB talk too.

I have been giving serious consideration to private school for both kids next year. I'm not sure if I even want to be talked out of it this point, but could definitely use some guidance as to whether I'm just being reactive to stress or whether it is truly the right decision.

[Porridge]

For me, it was when I was super irritable, found no joy in daily tasks, and saw any request or need as an intrusion.

[PeterPan]

On October 22, 2018 at 8:12 PM, cintinative said:

I really liked what she said about doing a time inventory of how we spend our days and also making a list of things that don't feel like "work."  Lately, I have been pushing myself to fatigue with different things and not practicing the self-care I need to

Yes, this. If someone goes to an office, they have more clear boundaries for work and recreation. They know when they're at work, and even when they bring work home or answer their phones it's obvious whether they're working or doing recreation.

For us, work and recreation are in the same place, and our kids, which are our joy, are also our work. It means we're not really OFF and turning off the work, unless we intentionally make space and room for ourselves to do that. And throw in that the needs of our kids are high and constant and the validations low. 

I've been tired in the past or needed breaks, but I finally hit a point fall where I was like I'm done, I'm fried, I'm spent, like a log on the fire, totally BURNT OUT, used up, done. I went to Florida for a good long break and just sat on the beach and walked around and rested. And I went to some docs for self-care and did everything they said (thyroid meds, two pairs of $$$ progressives, cranial sacral and massage, more salad, etc.). I got my mojo back. 

We have to be really intentional about resting and taking care of ourselves.

[Arcadia]

Cooking burnout - we decided to eat out at least one meal on weekends. 

Parenting burnout - parents night out to the rescue. When we drop our kids off for parents night out on a Friday, I have heard moms saying they are going back to sleep and their spouse or grandparents would pick the kids up later. 

Homeschooling burnout (mainly mental exhaustion) - how we cope is totally kid dependent here. DS12 need to be supervised while doing his work even if we were to outsource all his courses. So we have to see which courses are critical and which ones we can let slide. DS13 needs checking daily but doesn’t need constant supervision so the energy expended on him is much lower. 

Clutter burnout - my husband is the main hoarder while our kids hoard too. I have cleared out quite a bit so whatever is left is tolerable. I am waiting for DS12 to be done with labs at home and then I can donate all our chemistry and physics lab supplies next summer. I get sensory overload from clutter. My husband and kids don’t get sensory overload from clutter but they can’t find their things (so equally exasperating for all of us). 

Physically exhausted (mainly lack of sleep) - I just tell my kids to fend for themselves (food and academics) while I catch an afternoon nap or have a long bubble bath. 

Burnout from accumulation of life events - that’s when I plan for a vacation as soon as possible if feasible. A friend had that from her dad needing in home medical care and her brother going through a nasty divorce. She took a short vacation as soon as she could get reliable nursing care for her dad for a week. My kids want a vacation because they are just so tired of a few issues (finance related: car, home, etc) so we are planning a vacation, our last one was two years ago.