Returning to School

[goldenecho]

So, after our IEP the school offered to put our son in a reduced size class two aids and  individualized instruction in reading and math.   That had not been my original plan.  I had planned to continue homeschooling through an Independent Learning charter, but just with some specialized reading instruction through the charter, and some supplemental classes.    But, my husband was strongly pushing for this, and I'm coming around to thinking this is the best plan (though I shed a few tears along the way, because I enjoy homeschooling my son, but also because I feel like I'm not giving him everything he needs).   I'm not 100% sure this is the best option for him, but the charter that was the one that seemed like the best option is closed, and I'm just not getting enough progress with him at home (though it has improved).   

20% of the students at this school are special ed, possibly because, like us, they are getting transfered from other schools that don't have as robust of a program for this.   That 's actually a relief...because one of the things that concerned me was that he would be ostracized for being so far behind.  I don't see that happening here.  In his particular class kids grades 3rd through 5th are in the same class so I like that too.  I liked the main teacher.   I'm hopeful, but still plan to be watching like a hawk to see how he does, ready to pull if necessary.  He hasn't done public school since KG where he cried every day.   This is a different school (but that school wasn't bad...he just had trouble with the structure).  I feel like he's doing much better now and wanting to do more independantly, but we still have days he breaks down and just crumbles. 

It's 3 weeks until school and we plan to tell him this weekend.   Any suggestions, both for that and for how to prepare between now and then?   Anyone like to share experience, good or bad, of sending a child back to school?

[displace]

(Hugs).  I agree that if the school has a lot of IEP or 504 students, they are probably better equipped with the right staff to actually give proper services vs a local school.  The teachers are more likely to be knowledgeable and not forget that everyone is different and expect things that aren’t developmentally appropriate.  The admin is less likely to pressure the teachers to meet neuro typical standards.

I don’t know your student’s age but I would say to him that he’s going back to school not because of him but instead the school benefits or strengths.  If there is a clear need that he’s aware of (math, writing, social skills, etc), and they have experts in those subjects, express that.  I may be an expert in X, but I’m not in Y or Z.  The teacher may have years of helping Y students.  They may have ideas on how to help him all the time.  If they have therapists at all for daily or weekly visits, that would be a huge plus.  It may mean time for extracurriculars instead of therapy appointments (if you currently go to therapy), or possibly faster progression to make things easier for him if you don’t already go.  At an older age and with maturity, I’ve seen my DS become more self-directed.  He wants to do therapy to help him because it makes his life easier.  

As for school itself, idk if you can volunteer in the class but I’d try.  I’d be all over the email or text communication as much as possible.  I’d peruse curriculum or syllabus.  

[PeterPan]

Oh Goldenecho, it sounds like you're making a good choice!! Really and truly. I don't remember how old your ds is, but I think there's more to life than academics even. He'll learn and they're giving him the intervention time he needs. But what's especially good is they're going to put him in a really high support setting where he can get used to the structure and routine, not be stressed out, and grow. Growing is important too! Like when you say he wants to work more independently, they're gonna NAIL that. Yes, we have a school in our area that does multi-grade classes with customized instruction, and that's EXACTLY where I would put my ds if I were enrolling him right now. I think it smooths over the levels thing, and it's just good. It means he has a bigger pool for friends! Friends are super valuable too.

Can you tour the school ahead? Meeting the teacher, touring the room, learning what the schedule would be, pre-visualizing the routine, thinking through what HE thinks will be stressful so you can collaborate and problem solve, all this will help. 

And the getting worn out and needing breaks thing, just talk with them. Maybe he needs OT on his IEP. In all the schools I've toured that are very appropriate for my ds, they keep a pace that basically works breaks in. Like they might not say BREAK on the list, but it's structured such that there are defacto breaks. They keep a bit slower pace. In our area these schools start later even, more like 9am. Now our ps with the classroom my ds would be in (a school kids are bussed to, like your ds) doesn't start later, sigh. But still when I talked with our IS (intervention specialist) about what it would be like there I think they have sort of a soft start, a gentleness so they can see where the kid is and get connected before they start making demands. 

It could be really nice! Keep us posted. I'd love to hear how it works out for him. Right now I'm doing really targeted language work with ds, but going to school is always on the table. It will be interesting to hear how that multi-grade placement works out for him, especially on the social. 

[Kanin]

It sounds like a great environment! I hope everything works out and your DS has a great time ? I taught last year in a class of grades 3-5 combined, and it was a great mix. The age ranges weren't so great that there was a big divide between kids - in fact, none of them really knew which grades the other kids were in, and if they did, they didn't see it as a big deal. Like PeterPan said, it was great for friends... the older kids who gravitated to kids and games a bit "young" fit right in.

Plus, and maybe it was just my class, but ages 9-11 were pretty magical with my crew.

You'll have to let us know how it goes!

[Lecka]

He has been in public school, so it’s not a change, but my son is going into a mixed 4th/5th grade classroom next year, and I have heard really good things about the teacher.  I hope it works out really well for your son ?

 

[Pen]

Be upbeat and positive about it with him about it. That you expect it will take some adjusting to it, but you expect he is going to end up enjoying it and learning a lot. 

Maybe go visit it before it starts to get a sense of appearance even if it is closed, and ideally lay out inside as well when it is not as busy. And maybe so he can meet teachers librarian etc

 

[goldenecho]

Thanks everyone so much!   We told him about an hour ago.   We kept it really upbeat and talked about the progress he'd made and how I think he's ready for this (talking about how he wanted to be more independent and such, and we talked about how this would give him a chance to meet more other kids, and went over the structure of the class and the ways we thought this class would be good for him).   And, he wants to go!   YEAH!  

I'm so glad because that's going to make it so much easier.  If he was resisting that could have thrown a wrench in things.   I definitely plan to have a meeting with him and the teacher beforehand (they said that would be possible--I've already met him and got to observe but just briefly, for a half hour).   And I will definitely volunteer.  

My son's 10 but very much more comfortable around a younger crowd so the mixed age classroom I think will be very good for him.

 

 

[katilac]

On 7/29/2018 at 4:50 AM, displace said:

 As for school itself, idk if you can volunteer in the class but I’d try.    

2

 

I've never taught in a school setting, but I have taught many small group classes. Parents rarely wanted to help, lol, but sometimes they wanted to listen in or just hang around. I put the kibosh on that because many students act quite differently when a parent is in the room! The biggest negative is that they are more reluctant to participate and ask questions. So, if the teacher or school doesn't allow parents to volunteer in their kids' class, that might be one reason why. 

[goldenecho]

1 hour ago, katilac said:

 

I've never taught in a school setting, but I have taught many small group classes. Parents rarely wanted to help, lol, but sometimes they wanted to listen in or just hang around. I put the kibosh on that because many students act quite differently when a parent is in the room! The biggest negative is that they are more reluctant to participate and ask questions. So, if the teacher or school doesn't allow parents to volunteer in their kids' class, that might be one reason why. 

 

That makes sense.   I will let the teacher know I'm available to help but not be offended if he doesn't take me up on it.

 

[PeterPan]

Or ask what *kind* of help they want. I think it's pretty common to have parents volunteering in typical ps classrooms. At least around here it's very common, because people talk about it. But once you're talking about contained classrooms, buildings that lock down because of behaviors (honestly, the type of school my ds would be placed in), etc., I'd really be surprised if they're letting parents in. I haven't asked. They already have more people in the room to start with, but those people are trained to deal with behaviors. The teacher might have something you could do, like birthday treats once a month or something. I don't know. I think it's always nice to ask, and if you ask it kind of open-ended like that then s/he can say what they really think.