My mom (probably JAWM)

[Ginevra]

Is complicated. I think she is showing some signs of dementia. There have been a couple small things that I thought were out of character, but more significantly to me, she has not acknowledged my birthday, which was Sunday. (I’m having a little dèja vu, because I think I posted the same thing last year. Maybe.) She lurks on FB but rarely posts. She posts once in a while and it is ranty, or a burn of someone, or in la-la land. She torched a FB “friend” on her (my mom’s) birthday. The “friend” was one of my sister’s best friends. (My sister died ten years ago.) Friend says, “Happy Birthday, Quill’s Mom!”  To which my mom replied, “Thanks, Jane. I’m still waiting for that ‘call’ or ‘visit’ you promised nine years ago!” I was like, “wow.” She also made a crazed-sounding post towards my nephew’s wife, warning her not to get involved with some angel thing because, “that is the occult!” Nephew’s wife was confused, but figured there must have been one of those “So-and-so Likes...” ad things and my mom saw it and read more into it than necessary. I don’t think she really understand how FB algorithms cause those ads to come up. Also, my mom has always been religious, to the point of fantastical thinking, but man, it’s getting into kook territory now. She used to keep it mostly among people she knew were like-minded or at least tolerant, but that’s less true now. She’ll tell doctors, nurses, store clerks things I just wish she would not say. Because she sounds like a nut. 

I might not have a point. :) I just think...it looks like her mind is not rock-solid and I don’t know if I should be doing anything or pointing anything out to my mom, dad, or siblings. I have not had a very close relationship with my parents and there’s a lot of “can’t talk about it” involved. My dad has had his head in the sand for thirty years, so I’m not sure saying anything to him about my observations would be useful. And I’m a little butt-hurt that she has not acknowledged my birthday. I don’t think she forgot; I think she’s “using” it, like she wants to induce me to call her by not acknowledging my birthday and leading me to fret about it. (Which I’m doing.) 

[Guest]

She has always been very involved in her church and has had other hobbies like quilting and singing in the choir. AFAIK, she has not reduced church attendence and is still in the quilting group. 

She has substantial physical limitations due to Parkinson’s, so she could definitely isolate herself in part because it’s simply difficult to get around. But yeah - it’s not hard to imagine her isolating herself and then being mad about how everyone has tejected her. 

[Mary in VA]

There is a type of dementia linked to Parkinson's disease.  It might be something you would want brought up to her neurologist. He could order neuro-psych testing to see if anything is up.

[GoodGrief]

My experience is that age makes it harder to adapt to/conceal minor (or major) mental health issues that may have been lurking all along; the infamous loss of a filter. It's hard to watch, and we are seeing it on both sides of the family now too.

[Scarlett]

Sorry Quill.  I see a few odd things here and there with my mom too.  And she posts a LOT on FB.  It is hard for our parents to not be like they once were.  

[ktgrok]

It could also be simple depression, and worth mentioning to a doctor. 

[Bootsie]

Is there any way some of the behavior you are noticed a side effect of any medication she is taking?  

[PrincessMommy]

5 hours ago, GoodGrief1 said:

My experience is that age makes it harder to adapt to/conceal minor (or major) mental health issues that may have been lurking all along; the infamous loss of a filter. It's hard to watch, and we are seeing it on both sides of the family now too.

 

I was going to say the same thing. 

Hugs... Quill.  My mom became very difficult (embarrassing in public) as she aged.   I fear she would have ended up on social media somewhere with one of her public rants if she hadn't been mostly housebound the last 2-3yrs of her life.

Parkinson's add a new level of issues.  

hugs.

[Ann.without.an.e]

No advice, just (((Hugs))).  So sorry Quill.  I imagine we will all face this eventually :/

[Guest]

2 hours ago, jdahlquist said:

Is there any way some of the behavior you are noticed a side effect of any medication she is taking?  

I’m sure that is possible. I’m not sure all the meds she is taking. 

[Amber in SJ]

I am so sorry.  My MIL has also started posting things on FB that have been....odd.  I tried to talk to Dh about it and get him to talk to his brothers but no luck.  They just dismiss it because she has always been difficult.  I am having a hard time explaining that this is a new type of odd.  If you do attend doctor's visits with her, it might be worth mentioning.  (((hugs)))

Amber in SJ

[Janie Grace]

Ugh, I'm sorry. I feel like my mom's age is showing in her FB use too. She believes/reposts stuff that is obviously fake and takes hard lines on things she never would have before. Sometimes I wonder if FB sort of encourages this... it's a big draw to the lonely and it's also a buffet table of all kinds of questionable "information"/opining. To the deteriorating and not-so-savvy, it can be a pretty  hairy world. :( I'm sorry about your mom.

[Guest]

9 minutes ago, Janie Grace said:

Ugh, I'm sorry. I feel like my mom's age is showing in her FB use too. She believes/reposts stuff that is obviously fake and takes hard lines on things she never would have before. Sometimes I wonder if FB sort of encourages this... it's a big draw to the lonely and it's also a buffet table of all kinds of questionable "information"/opining. To the deteriorating and not-so-savvy, it can be a pretty  hairy world. :( I'm sorry about your mom.

Exactly. Ugh!