help me get through the next 3 months

[caedmyn]

The main problem is that my boys need a LOT of structure (ie very little free time) to keep them from behaving something like feral children and I am just not a structure person and I can't provide that, really ever, but especially right now. If I can just get through the next 3 months until summer, things will be ok. So I'm looking for suggestions on keeping them from having too much free time or keeping them from getting out of control during the day (and not suggestions to just put them in school for a while). Dh hurt his back again last week and last time that happened he could barely walk for 2 months, so I can't really rely on him to do anything.

The toddler takes a late morning and late afternoon nap but is trying to drop one which means we'll have to do school while he's awake. The 5 yo just plays but is getting wilder and more disobedient and needs some structure. The 7 yo's schoolwork takes about 30 mins/day besides his online reading tutoring (he has ODD tendencies and more schoolwork is not happening right now). The 9 yo's schoolwork takes 3ish hours so he's occupied most of the morning but I spend an hour of that doing his reading lesson with him and I cam't really pay attention to anyone else during this time. They all bicker constantly. It's still decidedly winter here. Once winter starts leaving it will be MUD season. They can go outside but someone is constantly coming in wailing because someone else hit them, threw snow in their face, etc. Outdoor time is not really making life any easier or helping their behavior. They watch some TV so I can shower and take a nap but are often so wild afterwards it's almost not worth it unless I'm just going to let them watch TV for the rest of the day.

Edited March 8, 2018 by caedmyn

[mommyoffive]

My first question was how about outside time?  

 

But I hear you on the winter and how much work that is and then mud season. 

 

 

Do the 5 and 7 year old like to spend time in a room on their own?   Do they take a nap time?  I have always had nap time and when you outgrow sleeping you do other things in your room on your own. 

 

Legos

Playing

crafts

reading

audio books  My kids have loved this for 8 years now

 

 

Can you do the 9 year old's work at nap time? 

 

 

 

Also I would embrace tv and such now.  Go over the limits when you need it.  You can make up for it for screen free days in the summer?   Isn't the guideline 2 hours a day.   Make it educational movies and then don't even stress about it. 

 

 

 

I would do a lot of switching things up.  Kids in different rooms.  Kids getting alone time at nap time.  

 

Do an art period.

Bath time keeps my littles busy for a while

Read them books

 

Do you have a basement? 

 

If your kids play in groups alter that.  Have the 12 year old keep the little one busy for a bit.  Play and reading books. 

Then to the 7 year old. 

 

 

Can you switch out toys?   New stuff from the holidays they haven't seen? 

 

 

Does getting out of the house help you?   Break up the days and weeks?   Maybe have someone else be in charge for a bit.   

Are the kids in any activities? 

 

 

Edited March 6, 2018 by mommyoffive

[JIN MOUSA]

What about something like "zones", enough for each kid to be in a zone by themselves. Some ideas:

 

- playing at the kitchen sink with plastic dishes or bath toys

- drawing/crafting

- a special toy combined with an audiobook

 

Have a set amount of time (maybe 20 to 30 minutes), then everyone switches to a different zone. It may be a bit of work to get it set up, but the pay off in structure and being separate from each other could make it worth it. 

[Rachel]

Can you assign kids to play together? Or to read to each other?

 

30 minutes for the 3 and 5 year old while you work with the 7 year old. Then the 3 and 7 year old together for an hour, then the 5 and 7 year old? Then the 7 and 9 year old?

 

Can they be trusted to do a project individually? Like picking up sticks in the yard. Assign 100 sticks to the 9 year old, when he’s done send the 7 year old out, then the 5 year old if the yard is safe enough. I assign my kids jobs like dusting baseboards, scrubbing cabinet fronts, and sweeping the garage when they can’t quit bickering. They are things that ideally would be done regularly but aren’t, so I don’t care if the kids don’t do a great job, it’s something that is helpful but keeps them busy.

 

Will they listen to audiobooks or read alouds?

[Melissa in Australia]

:grouphug:

[Elizabeth86]

I'm drawing a blank on specifics right now, but I'm reaching the end of surviving pregnancy with a 2, 4 and 6 year old. This whole pregnancy has been rough. Screen has been my friend and I am not ashamed. :lol: Looking forward to not being pregnant for a good long time.

 

:grouphug: to you. On the bright side, the more kids you have the faster pregnancy goes by.

[KungFuPanda]

How are things different now than they were when homeschooling was going well and working in your household? Is it the pregnancy and the toddler that are derailing things?  A schedule that's not working due to constant interruption? No attempted schedule in the first place? 

[displace]

(Hugs).

 

Can they exercise inside? Set out towels and have them drag each other across the floor. Wheelbarrow racing (holding feet while walking in hands). Sit and spin seats. Indoor roller skating.

 

Is there a bathroom that they can use to make a mess? Set up a soapy water station and play clean the toys. Or give measuring plastic cups or pipettes.

 

I agree with PP- if your husband is expected to be out of commission, you should consider a mother’s helper for a couple months. As an aside, I’d also consider disability insurance.

[Sarah CB]

I would create a calendar of outings. Maybe have mornings at home, let the toddler drop the afternoon nap, and plan to *go* somewhere every afternoon. Go to story time at the library, find out if there's a group of moms meeting at a park to play regularly or just go yourself, go for big walks - maybe scavenger hunt walks where they're distracted with trying to find things. Check out the museums or whatever else you have handy. Have playdates with other families once or even twice a week. Is there an indoor play park or a skating rink or something you can go to? Can you arrange some field trips? I'd just get them out as much as possible and hope they would be tired by the time you got home.

 

In the house, I'd force myself to make out a detailed schedule of what everyone is supposed to do in the morning. I'd give each kid a list of things they need to check off while the other sibling is doing reading. Even the two year old would get picture cards telling him what to do to keep him busy. I would assign each kid to a different meal - have the two year old "help" you make breakfast. Keeps him busy and involved. Have another one help with lunch and another with dinner. It separates them and makes them feel like they've accomplished something. 

 

I was there with very similar ages. Luckily, I had a 9 year old girl who was amazingly helpful, but the two younger boys (they were 6 and 4 at the time) were a handful. 

[caedmyn]

I think things are different because A. Winter has gone on too long, B. The room we use as a playroom has been unavailable for a few weeks because DH taped it up and started on painting it and it was still taped up and partially finished until yesterday when I took stuff down because I was tired of not being able to use the room, C. We got a new dining room table and DH moved the other one into the living room almost 2 weeks ago and since then my boys have been jumping off it, trying to push each other off it, climbing on it constantly, putting the toddler on it, etc and it's driving me nuts, and D. my brain fog issues are getting worse and it makes focusing and keeping track of them even harder than usual.

Edited March 8, 2018 by caedmyn

[mommyoffive]

Oh man.  No home improvement projects in winter.   

 

I hope having the one room back helps some. 

 

 

It is almost spring.  It is almost spring. 

[MotherGoose]

Hugs to you. I have had pregnancy, toddlers, homeschooling, and DH with a back problem, but not all at once. I vote to hire or trade help of any sort. I know you aren't looking to send kids to school, but could you send the little ones to preschool? I homeschool but I have and do send the under 4 crowd to preschool.

 

ETA assuming your signature is correct, you don't have any preschool candidates. But something has to give in your life. Don't know how functional your Dh is, if he's just off work and in the bed for the interim, or if he's going to work and trying, but you need help somewhere. Even if he's bedridden he can at least sit in the recliner and bark orders and grade papers for you. He can do plenty of school related things in the evening while you physically bathe kids and put them to bed.

Edited March 8, 2018 by MotherGoose