mytwomonkeys Posted October 14, 2017 Share Posted October 14, 2017 (edited) ... Edited October 14, 2017 by mytwomonkeys Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa R. Posted October 14, 2017 Share Posted October 14, 2017 I'm hopeful they can get her in counseling immediately. If she's not sharing with her family and friends, perhaps she will share with them. Also, it's critical to do this while she's still 17. The counselors will still share some information with the family. After she's 18, it could become difficult or impossible for the family to insist she goes to counseling (assuming she's not a danger to herself) and the flow of information from counseling could stop since she's a legal adult. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EMS83 Posted October 14, 2017 Share Posted October 14, 2017 Will pray. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ailaena Posted October 14, 2017 Share Posted October 14, 2017 I would think she would spend longer out of she was seeing a person. Generally, people want to spend more time together than 20-30 minutes. Maybe she was smoking/drinking? That would explain her change in behaviour, at least. Although, of course, new friends/boyfriend would also change her. Fwiw, when I was 13-14, I used to sneak out of the house for maybe 30 minutes to hour and literally do nothing but walk around the neighborhood and maybe smoke a cigarette once in a while. Dd had a friend that also snuck out around that same age and she was also just meeting up with friends and hanging out, but she was out for a couple of hours. I doubt she'd talk to you because you're not safe. You'll tell her parents and make her face her problems and tell her she's wrong, and she may not be ready for that. Let her know that you will always be there for her to help her, no matter what. I agree with trying counseling, though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guinevere Posted October 14, 2017 Share Posted October 14, 2017 She might not be using drugs, but she might be dealing, maybe because her boyfriend is making her. Counseling, and drastic changes are in order here. A 17yo suddenly changing and becoming secretive is a big deal. I encourage you to be heavy on the love and concern, and light on punishment and blame. Cracking down on this situation is unlikely to change her behavior. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted October 14, 2017 Share Posted October 14, 2017 (edited) I think there are tracking apps for phones? If I were the parent I would want to find out any way I could where she is going when she goes out. Edited October 14, 2017 by maize 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sandwalker Posted October 14, 2017 Share Posted October 14, 2017 I would suggest that her parents drug test her. Check her pupils next time you talk to her. If they are very tiny (pinpoint), suspect narcotics/heroin; if they are huge, either awaiting a narcotic dose or tripping on something else. I wouldn't think she is a particularly good influence on your daughter at this point, especially since your daughter is younger. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sandwalker Posted October 14, 2017 Share Posted October 14, 2017 I think there are tracking apps for phones? If I were the parent I would want to find out anyway I could where she is going when she goes out.I thought of this, but then was afraid she'd just leave her phone at home to avoid detection, and then be in more danger without the phone with her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted October 14, 2017 Share Posted October 14, 2017 my first thought is abuse of some kind... not sleeping like that seems to be a sign of trauma. Her parents should consider taking her to a counselor (female) with whom she can open up to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mytwomonkeys Posted October 14, 2017 Author Share Posted October 14, 2017 (edited) ... Edited October 14, 2017 by mytwomonkeys Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ErinE Posted October 14, 2017 Share Posted October 14, 2017 Without referencing her disappearance explicitly, I would tell her, before she leaves, what you just said that you love her and worry for her. My mother and her best friend (who is like a second mother to me) had a no-questions-asked pact with each other's children. If I was in trouble, I could call her best friend and she'd pick me up, no matter the circumstances. I never used it since I had the same deal with my mother. Looking back, the offer of help without judgement made me feel more secure in difficult situations. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted October 14, 2017 Share Posted October 14, 2017 "We" snuck out on sleepovers all the time. Not to do drugs or meet boys but just for the thrill of it. We were younger teens and in groups/pairs. But we our reasons were stupid, nothing dramatic. Maybe she needs some space. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pen Posted October 14, 2017 Share Posted October 14, 2017 I don't know what would be a good idea to say, or not, but perhaps mentioning what her behavior makes you and others think could be wrong (abusive relationship, using drugs, dealing drugs), just as food for thought for her to know what her behavior leads people to think, or to consider the abusive relationship possibility herself, could be helpful. Not expecting any reply from her. Is there any possiblity she could be going off by herself somewhere and cutting, or binge eating, or something like that? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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