Burn out advice

[keptwoman]

We are 7 weeks off the end of the year and I am so burnt out.

So I've come up with why I'm burnt out and what I think I can do to help. But I'm still concerned that next year will be worse.

 

For the rest of this year I can't take a break totally but I'm culling some work that is not strictly necessary. I am also putting together a plan for history for the next 7 weeks so I don't need to plan each sunday night.

 

Unfortunately right now I'm dealing with having to be in another town for a whole day twice a week and this is totally wearing me down. But I need to do it until the end of the year.

I'm also dealing with illness in the family.

 

For next year:

My 3 reasons I'm burnt out and what I will do to combat it happening again.

 

1/ Chasing kids to do their work all the time

Answer: More discipline, more consistency, more buy in from them

 

2/ Inadequate Planning

Answer: Well doh! More planning. But in blocks rather than having to plan on a sunday night when I feel like blobbing so don't end up actually doing it.

 

3/ No Break.

I know some people don't need them but oh boy I do.

Answer: Get out of the house with the kids more. Take more regular breaks (9 weeks on 1 off and a summer break) Taking some time out from the kids (har har yes..not sure how I'm going to do this)

 

My concern is that this year history has not gone well for J in particular and the only thing I can come up with to combat this is planning it ourselves and that fills me with dread. I just can't find a ready made program to suit.

 

Also science this year has been woefully inadequate and sorting that out next year means still more work.

 

I feel rather pathetic.

 

I'd love to know how you have 1/ dealt with burn out and 2/ stopped it happening again or in the first place.

[Melissa in Australia]

no advice sorry, but I know the feeling.

what I am doing about my burn out is drop grammar for ds 14. and plan to spend next year concentrating on improving writing. I was starting to panic about his poor writing skills, and thinking about haw few years he has to go. now I have a plan , next year we will ( meaning my 14 ds) will work through writing strands, and outlining. Somewhere towards the middle of the year, he will start writing form the outline, and then I am planing that by the end of next year, we will manage to get up to a 8 page report.

 

 

I hope. at least I feel a bit better armed with my plan.

 

could you do a combined science program for all 3?

[Camy-7 boybarians 1 lady]

I think I can empathize w/ you on this.

 

First, I would make sure I was staying as healthy as possible (diet, exercise, etc.). I know that sometimes exercise isn't even possible when you are overwhelmed and burned out, but even a few stretches in the morning might help.

 

Second, I would put history on the backburner. That's what I have done in the past. I have put the 3 R's as priority and history and science in a different category. We have simply viewed various science and history videos each week to keep our minds motivated in this area.

 

I'd also limit school time each day. Take some time for yourself, perhaps and hour or two, just to rest and relax. Have you children stay in their rooms or occupied w/ something so that you are not interrupted.

 

Pray and feed yourself spiritually.

 

Hugs to you....

[Colleen in NS]

We are 7 weeks off the end of the year and I am so burnt out.

So I've come up with why I'm burnt out and what I think I can do to help. But I'm still concerned that next year will be worse.

 

For the rest of this year I can't take a break totally but I'm culling some work that is not strictly necessary. I am also putting together a plan for history for the next 7 weeks so I don't need to plan each sunday night.

 

Unfortunately right now I'm dealing with having to be in another town for a whole day twice a week and this is totally wearing me down. But I need to do it until the end of the year.

I'm also dealing with illness in the family.

 

For next year:

My 3 reasons I'm burnt out and what I will do to combat it happening again.

 

1/ Chasing kids to do their work all the time

Answer: More discipline, more consistency, more buy in from them

 

2/ Inadequate Planning

Answer: Well doh! More planning. But in blocks rather than having to plan on a sunday night when I feel like blobbing so don't end up actually doing it.

 

3/ No Break.

I know some people don't need them but oh boy I do.

Answer: Get out of the house with the kids more. Take more regular breaks (9 weeks on 1 off and a summer break) Taking some time out from the kids (har har yes..not sure how I'm going to do this)

 

My concern is that this year history has not gone well for J in particular and the only thing I can come up with to combat this is planning it ourselves and that fills me with dread. I just can't find a ready made program to suit.

 

Also science this year has been woefully inadequate and sorting that out next year means still more work.

 

I feel rather pathetic.

 

I'd love to know how you have 1/ dealt with burn out and 2/ stopped it happening again or in the first place.

 

We've completed 12 weeks of our current year (and took 3 weeks off after 6 weeks - was supposed to be 2, but I delayed due to dread....LOL). I've tried to go 6 on, two off, with 3 weeks at Christmas and 5 in the summer.....but now I'm going to try 3 on and 1 off, with 3 at Christmas and 3 in summer. I feel like a wimp, but when I school for 6 weeks, I burn out by week 5. And it's not because we do hours of school every day - it's 3 to 4 hours. It's all the other things I have to do - meals (and we're frugal so I have to be very organized about all food prep), being in charge of the kids most of the day (dh works afternoons/evenings), bookkeeping every week, and all the other little things that come up. I'm schedule obsessed, but sometimes that gets to be a drag, too. So - I'm off this week, and then we'll try the new schedule. I have done NOTHING for the past two days and I'm trying to get over the guilt. I took the kids to doc appts. yesterday, and that was it. I am sitting, reading, and trying to figure out some crafty gifts to make (this part is fun for me) without jumping up to take care of all the other "shoulds" that are screaming at me (like helping dd organize her room yet again, or purging and organizing toys, books, and crafts yet again). The place is a disaster and I just don't care. Hopefully no one who cares will "stop in" this week. I need to veg and recover some energy. Then I can probably tackle the rooms, etc.. My kids are visibly relaxing this week, too, esp. ds who is the one that has a harder time with liking school, LOL! He's reading and playing with Legos and is not at all interested in going out anywhere this week. Dd is hanging out with me, watching me figure out crafts, and coming up with craft/art ideas on her own. It's so nice to just sit around and not have to rush somewhere or rush to accomplish something. I get more talk/laugh time with my kids, too, this way.

 

I find myself in the same place as you with history and science. I've been trying to follow a routine I laid out for us, but lately I've reduced it to: read the chapter aloud, get dd to narrate, get ds to outline a few paragraphs, get them to colour maps, maybe read from Usborne, and hand them a pile of books that correspond, or tell ds to go look up stuff related to the main reading in the World Book encyclopedia and just enjoy reading about it. I'm keeping the simple writing in there (via WWE and WTM recs), but not requiring lots of extra writing right now. Science is a lot of reading and some writing - I so desperately want to do more experiments with ds, but I've slacked on preparing them, because they are a bit more involved this time around. I just need to get some energy back. Actually, now that I think about it, I did teach ds a few things back in the summer about his history and science - I taught him where to look for timeline dates for history, and where to look for science dates to put on there and on his "date sheets" in his science notebook. So I just have to tell him to do that, and he knows what to do. That makes it easier, when there is something that I can just show him how to do regularly, and he does it when required.

 

As to preventing burnout, I don't know. This is my 6th year, and I find the older they get, the harder I have to think/work. Isn't that encouraging?? :) I've read a lot of burnout threads on these boards over the years, and the only thing I can see is that we just have to pace ourselves for the long haul. It's a constant tweaking thing for me. You might want to try year round scheduling if going for many weeks at a time is hard for you. So if your school year is 36 or 40 or 32 or whatever weeks long, just spread the weeks out in smaller chunks, taking time off for travel or for times when you think you'll need it. Then, you can spend your off weeks either catching up on non-homeschoolish things, or you can be lazy like I am these past couple of days until you recover, then tackle with a vengeance and start up again when your time off is done for that session.

 

BTW, even though I schedule year round, I do what you are doing now, near the end of our year in May/June - start culling the not absolutely necessary, or doubling up on things to get them overwith sooner. End of the math book coming? Double on the reviews, do them orally, put tests on the same days as reviews. Grammar? Same thing. Latin? Usually done earlier anyway, due to less lessons than in math and grammar. History? Double up on reading, but just require one writing piece. Science? Finish the year with a ton of reading OR several fun experiments and don't worry about writing up every single one of them.

 

One reason I'm really glad these boards are provided to us for free is because I can come, read, and be encouraged by someone else's journey or post desperate pleas for encouragement for myself.

 

hth

Edited October 29, 2008 by Colleen in NS

[Rosie_0801]

Take a field trip to Bendigo!

;)

Rosie

[8filltheheart]

The main thing that has helped me keep from burning out to the point of quitting is my school calendar and planning. I plan a week off every 6-7 weeks. That week is used for fun stuff, catching up on housework/shopping, and writing the next 6-7 weeks of lesson plans. I also take a long summer break.

 

Since we live in the US we are on a flipped schedule compared to yours. Our school yr starts the first week of Aug. We take 7 complete weeks off during the yr. WE finish the middle of May. And we have 11 weeks off during the summer. Those breaks help me recuperate and keep going.

 

We only do 34 scheduled weeks of school. During those 34 weeks, though, it is heavy duty serious academics. Our weeks off are full of travel and activities that schools actually designate as "school days," so I am beyond satisfied with what we accomplish academically.

 

ETA: I'm not sure what your plans are for your high school student, but outsourcing some of the high school courses to online academies has been incredibly helpful for me this yr. The problem I would see is that most run on Northern Hemisphere school schedules. CyberEd Plato (available through Homeschool Buyers Coop) is a nice supplementary science program and has a couple of high school subjects. (I haven't used them for high school, only middle school) But, that might be something to look into for some science accountability. It is an online computerized teaching source.

Edited October 29, 2008 by 8FillTheHeart

[Sahamamama]

... It might help you to schedule fewer subjects each day, but still do each subject each week. For example, you could tackle all your Language Arts (reading, penmanship, vocabulary, spelling, writing, grammar, etc.) and Math each day for 3-4 days. Then have one day devoted to ONLY Science and History -- maybe 90 minutes of each, and you're done for the day.

 

This might help, because if your brain is "tired," it can be exhausting to shift gears from subject to subject to subject. Also, it's easier to lose the students while you transition, then you exert energy to round them back up again. Instead, stretch out the LA and Math for longer periods and study History & Science in longer blocks of time.

 

A possible schedule for this might look like:

 

Monday -- Math; Language Arts; Music Practice

Tuesday -- Math; Language Arts; Music Practice

Wednesday -- IN: Cooking; Household Chores; OUT: Errands; Nature Walk

Thursday -- Math; Language Arts; Music Practice

Friday -- History (1.5-2.0 hours); Science (1.5-2.0 hours)

 

I hope this helps! In the meantime, here's a :grouphug:.

[sgilli3]

We too, only have a few weeks left in our school year, and I cant wait to be done, as Im getting tired and cranky ( or is that just my personality..LOL)

 

I try to just focus on LA and Maths each day, + 1 or 2 small extras..though like to finish by lunch, so the afternoon is mine ( as much as it can be at home with the kids).

 

* for English, this also includes spelling/vocab/creative writing/comprehension)*

 

Our week starts on a Sunday here, so I try and plan our week like this

 

Sun: English, Math, Science, ( Music if there is time)

Mon: English, Math, Science, History ( Religion- if time- currently studying Hinduism)

Tues: English, Math, Science, History ( Geography if time, though a lot is covered in History)

Wed: English, Math, Science, History ( Art if time - artist study and art work)

Thurs : English, Math, Arabic, Nature Journals and catch up if necessary.

 

 

We try and keep last day of the school week (Thurs), really light on. It is a great end to the school week and an even better start to the weekend.

 

My children love hands on activities, so the science program we use, has a simple activity each lesson.

We use SOTW for history, which is also great for hands on lessons.

 

I only plan 1 week ahead, as things change too easily ( sickness, unexpected travel etc). On a Sat afternoon, it takes me less than 1/2 to plan for the week- any longer and I would loose my marbles.

 

We try and break up our school weeks too...a few weeks on, a quiet catch up week, a week/10 days off, then back to a few weeks on.

 

The kids need the break- and so do I. ( in fact they are heading back to Vic for 2 weeks in November)

 

Last of all, a big :grouphug: for you.

[keptwoman]

Thank you all.

 

Actually I think one of the things that is making me feel like this is the fact that we are on an enforced "lite" schedule due to having to be elsewhere for 2 days a week and that is frustrating me. I think I just need to accept it!

 

Plus when we are there and on the lite schedule because we don't have everything we would at home; I get from my Aunt (whose house we work at while we are there and who is currently having cancer treatment) "is that all they do" "what do they do to fill the rest of the day" blah blah blah. I know she is just concerned (unnecessarily but that's ignorance for you) but gosh it gets hard. I'd love support from the people I love rather than constant questioning and judgement.

 

Anyway. Thank you all.

[Oakblossoms]

Are you all working at your Aunts?

 

Can the kids take just the book work to do there OR just the reading?

 

We were out of the house a lot last year due to a public school program we joined. One of my kids did all their bookwork and the other all their reading while we waited on classes. Then we swapped at home.

[keptwoman]

Are you all working at your Aunts?

 

Can the kids take just the book work to do there OR just the reading?

 

We were out of the house a lot last year due to a public school program we joined. One of my kids did all their bookwork and the other all their reading while we waited on classes. Then we swapped at home.

Yes we work there. I take what can be taken in their backpacks. So the basic workbooks and perhaps a history reader.

6 weeks to go. And counting!!

[Peela]

Hi Sandra, I have had a great school year until now....I am burned out too. I just came back from a week's retreat away from my family, in a beautiful, loving environment. You would think I would be rejuvenated but I can barely move. I dont feel like doing anything. I just want to blob around doing nothing important. Nothing even seems very important. So the kids dont get an education? Oh well. They can read, write and count, can't they?

 

But seriously, what I did yesterday was sit down with them and had a half hour conversation about what they enjoyed, what was working for them, what they really disliked. I was a bit surprised actually. My older likes her Latin program and wants to continue with it- even if given the opportunity to go back to a Latin teacher she enjoyed before. She wants more creative writing. She doesnt like maths but she likes the maths course she is using more than any other so wants to stick with it.

 

My younger, who complains a lot, just loves all the reading he is doing. He doesnt like writing, doesnt like grammar, doesnt like his maths. His dislike of maths though was very intense, and he wants to do something different. So we looked at an online course (mathematics.com.au) and did the trial- and he really wants to change to that. So I realised that not only do I get burned out, but so do the kids, and a change can be refreshing.

 

I talked to them about doing more independently. They can- on days I just cant do it (read aloud, discuss, explain), they can do it all, now. This is the first year that has been possible.

 

We dropped French- dd14 wants to use Rosetta Stone and do it independently. Yay. Just more bucks to spend, but if it means it gets done, I am willing.

 

I told ds12 I cant fight him. I cant debate every asignment with him. He will just have to go to school if he won't work for me. He understood. It won't stop him, but I didnt get angry, so thats a plus. I just told him calmly.

 

I have felt so enthusiastic for homeschooling all year- and now, zilch. I want to lay in bed, read, go for walks, play in my garden, meditate, and start my own business. It's wierd. I presume it will pass!

 

Last year, I burned out at the same time of year- 4th term. I had such a change of heart, we changed over to using Ambleside and CM, reading more, writing less but still consistently, we finished by early afternoon each day so I could have a NAP :) Which has helped me immensely and the kids have enjoyed the year much better too. But on Monday- I had a nap at 10.30am! I think I am anaemic, I am unreasonably tired.

 

Planning ahead- having photocopies already done, maps printed, answer books on my desk, and keeping it all as simple as possible, has helped a lot. Trimming back to essentials, not trying to cover every subject every year- we have done no logic this year at all, it was jsut one thing too many. We have done it for 2 years previous though and probably will again.

 

I think burn out is a time to trust your intuition to guide you to where you need to go. I take it as a sign that what I am doing is unsustainable in the long term, and look to see what what can I tweak to make it all work more effortlessly. I also dont mind chaning programs, changing approach, every year or so. My moderator even commented that she thought it was a good idea and I hadnt thought about it before- using the same program year after year (eg R&S grammar) just doesnt work for us- we would have no joy at all (except with SOTW- we loved that for 4 years!) . What would bring you joy at the moment? Art? gardening? the beach? reading?

[keptwoman]

It's good to know that others are where I am right now. And I do think that to a large degree it's the product of a very rough year...DHs unemployment selling property. buying property and someone we love very much being diagnosed with cancer. Oh may 2009 be smoother! And also the fact that it's the end of the year. I'm looking forward to finishing this year AND starting next year.....with a nice few weeks at the beach in between!!

 

We spent this weekend as a 4 day weekend with Melbourne Cup day and I thought I might be renewed but I'm not. Then today I had the most lovely day at the beach with our new homeschool group. I've just decided to cut back for the year and look forward to next year.

 

I always take time out with the kids individually to review what we have been doing and what they see in the future. It's really interesting to see from a kids point of view what works and doesn't. And their perspectives often surprise me and encourage me.

 

I also have been writing a "report" of what we have acheived this year. It's a cheering task! Rather than worrying about what I haven't done I've been doing; I can concentrate on the successes. And the successes this year have been pretty darn good.

 

I think you are so right that burnout is a sign that I have to look at what I'm doing and avoid it in the future.

Thanks :) and here's to summer coming!!

[Mom0012]

I'm with Momof7. I don't necessarily plan to take every 6th week off, but it generally winds up happening because that is about how long I can go before I get to a point where I desperately need a break from the school work. I usually use this time to clean my house and do more fun activities with the kids.

 

Lisa

[Colleen in NS]

You would think I would be rejuvenated but I can barely move. I dont feel like doing anything. I just want to blob around doing nothing important. Nothing even seems very important. So the kids dont get an education? Oh well. They can read, write and count, can't they?

 

I have felt so enthusiastic for homeschooling all year- and now, zilch. I want to lay in bed, read, go for walks, play in my garden, meditate, and start my own business. It's wierd. I presume it will pass!

 

What would bring you joy at the moment? Art? gardening? the beach? reading?

 

I felt exactly like all of this a couple of weeks ago! We took last week off and I didn't commit to any plans at all. I just lived moment to moment, which is not like me, lol! By Sunday night I still dreaded Monday, because I actually had to go out and couldn't do the school stuff until afternoon, which was fun, fun, fun. It's Wednesday now, and I'm feeling a bit better. We're getting up a bit earlier to start (with dh's help with the breakfast routine), and that helps. I find it just helps to make dh aware of all I'm struggling with and figure out where he could help practically (he's very pro-homeschooling in general) and how to work around his "nontraditional" work schedule, but I tweaked the rest of the day's routines to fit more relax time for me. Still sticking to the 4 day week, and will try going 3 weeks with 1 off. Feels wimpy to me, but I just don't care anymore. If it gets accomplished what I want accomplished and it prevents our whole family from burning out, then great. So I can't go for weeks on end with teaching, oh well.

 

Joy.....well, all those homemade Christmas craft threads inspired me, and esp. your post about your crocheted purse, Peela! I went to the library twice last week and got at least 20 gorgeous new books about all sorts of fiber arts!!!!!!!!!! Rich, colourful pictures of updated craft projects that use skills I already have or want to learn, on pretty, useful (key for me - I don't like knick knacks) items. I've already made one purse (sewn) for a gift, complete with lining and beads sewn in! I'm having a blast thinking of gifts to make (and trying to think of more people to give to, heh heh) from all my stash of fabric, yarn, aida cloth, beads, embroidery floss, paper........Peela, I also saw several picture examples of that purse you crocheted - it's a popular pattern right now, I guess! Anyway, it's funny you mentioned wanting to start a business - I thought that last week, too. It'd be fun to do all this fiber crafting and sell it. It was fun thinking about it (it won't happen for a long time, if ever), and it gave me an "oomph" to start some creative handiwork that I could go to when feeling like everything else is getting too pressureful.

[Deb in NZ]

we, too. only have a few weeks left. I just returned from spending October in the States with my 10yos to find that my 16yod got NOTHING done & my 14yos completed 1 day's work. Granted it was PS holidays 1-12 October & both had holiday jobs, they could have got a bit more done. My dd was on the Spirit of Adventure 13-22 October & has a polytech course every TH & F 9-3, so maybe it was a bit much to expect her to get schoolwork done as well. My visit with my Mom went well, but even ds#2 only completed 11 days of maths & Latin. Well, where to from here?

 

#1---I'm not going to panic as we're only obligated to do "at least as regularly & as well as" the PS. PS-highschools are on study break from now on & PS-primary schools don't do much achedemically after Labour Day.

 

#2---I've started making my dc get up & outside from 7-8am, giving each one an area to be responsible for. Dd does the gardens, ds#1 is assigned household mantience jobs, & ds#2 cares for our zoo. I've found that getting outside BEFORE studying has helped my dc to get up with a better attitude (well, except for ds#1 :glare:) & they are more alert & ready to study at 9:00. And I have a bit of time for myself before teaching to shower & get a few jobs done.

 

#3---I've symplified my expectations for each dc. Dd has a fortnightly assignment sheet of what I'd like to see completed & she works on it through out the time she's home (~2.5 days a week + occasional evening & weekend work). Ds#1 is made to study at the kitchen table 9-1 M-F or until he completes 1 hours of study each in Maths (MUS, LoF, Key to Geometry), English/Latin (Sequential Spelling, IEW, & Latin Prep), History (Trisms: History Maker), & Science (Apologia's General Science). Ds#2 works about 2 hours independently & 1 hour with me w/o fuss. We're making progress & I need to be happy with that, not focus on what we won't finish before Christmas. My dc know we will work up until 19 December as they slaked off in October, but we'll take most of January off to relax.

 

#4---I'm going to bed by 9:30 pm & not reading in bed. This is the biggest change for me & it's been a very positive move for me attitudewise & for my relationship with dh. I really DO need more sleep than I was getting before October.

 

#5---I'm determined not to even think about next year until after New Year's. I have enough curriculum to just continue on with if we decide to continue HS/ing. If we decide to send any to PS or go on Coorespondence School, I need only to enroll them, so need not worry about that now.

 

My suggestions for your time with your aunt. Tell her about the Moore philosophy of work / study / service. Aim to complete a bit of maths, writing, & reading daily. On your "at home" days add in history & science. On your "away" days focus on work & service. We went through a similar experience 3 years ago with my sister. I felt that we got nothing done during the 7 months we spent in VT, but when I actually put on paper what we did accomplish added up to a lot. A bit here & a bit there does add up.

 

JMHO & :grouphug:

Edited November 5, 2008 by Deb in NZ