Cannot seem to shake the sadness I feel after Neuro Psych results

[speedmom4]

Hello!

 

My seventeen year old son is currently undergoing a pre-surgery workup for potential brain surgery. He has Cerebral Palsy (from a prenatal stroke) and has epilepsy. The workup includes Neuro Psych testing. We have always homeschooled and consider him in 10th grade. He is extremely compliant in regards to his schoolwork. Honestly I only felt that he would struggle with math portions of the test. I was not prepared for the results. It has been approximately a month since we got the results and I can't seem to shake the sadness I feel. His IQ had such variability that the doctor felt that a composite score wouldn't reflect his true intelligence. One section was actually above average but others were in the impaired range. It just hurt to see the results. 

 

It makes me question myself. I thought he was doing so much better than what the results proved.

 

:sad:

 

 

[Arcadia]

:grouphug: and lots of positive thoughts for your son's potential brain surgery

 

When my younger boy's processing speed index came out so much lower than my older boy's processing speed index, my husband and I did felt that we might have not work/tried hard enough on younger boy's health deficiencies. I know my husband still wonders.

[displace]

Was this just IQ portions or achievement as well? IQ only means so much, especially if he's been doing ok in his curriculum.

 

Hugs, but I would take testing with a grain of salt. It's meant to see changes from before and after surgery. So the results compared to each other will be the most helpful. Perseverance and determination, hard work can get people very far in life, especially with caring family and good guidance.

 

Praying for a successful surgery. (Hugs)

 

ETA - I doubt there's anyone who doesn't question their decisions along this path - whether homeschooled, afterschooled, public schooled, curriculum choices, family choices, etc. As parents, we always have some self reflection.

Edited April 12, 2017 by displace

[PeterPan]

Why don't you believe the truth of what the psych said? He said the IQ scores had so much variability due to his disabilities that THEY ARE NOT ACCURATE. They're just not. That's why he said that.

 

Your dc is as gifted as his highest scores and as disabled as some of his lowest scores imply. And delving into that is really hard and makes for a lot of grief. You might want to consider some counseling or something for stress relief. This is as real a grief and level of concern as death or anything else stressful in the family. It's just that we have to keep going and living.

 

That brain surgery, wow. What are they saying about how that can go? Again, are they giving you counseling? Can you find someone knowledgeable to talk with? This would be the time. A professional counselor with experience in your field. You wouldn't be the only one seeing a counselor. Lots of people do it. LOTS of people with kids with disabilities do it. Sometimes you need to talk through what you're feeling out loud, and there's probably nobody around you who would really get it. And sometimes there are coping strategies.

 

You've got so much going on, I would definitely consider getting some counseling to support YOU.

Edited April 12, 2017 by OhElizabeth

[Guest]

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

Try to take your eyes away from the numbers and look at each area as an area of strength and challenge. Use the strengths to help find ways to deal with the challenges. I hope the psych will give you lots of recommendations to help you formulate a plan. Hang in there!

 

Hoping for the best on the surgery  :grouphug:

[Rockhopper]

You know, my first thought when I read your post was, "Wow, what a great job they've done meeting their son's needs and giving him the tools he needed to be well-educated --  that he can perform at an educational level far above what his IQ would, on its own, make someone expect."

 

Sounds like you, and he, have good reason to be proud.

[speedmom4]

Why don't you believe the truth of what the psych said? He said the IQ scores had so much variability due to his disabilities that THEY ARE NOT ACCURATE. They're just not. That's why he said that.

 

Your dc is as gifted as his highest scores and as disabled as some of his lowest scores imply. And delving into that is really hard and makes for a lot of grief. You might want to consider some counseling or something for stress relief. This is as real a grief and level of concern as death or anything else stressful in the family. It's just that we have to keep going and living.

 

That brain surgery, wow. What are they saying about how that can go? Again, are they giving you counseling? Can you find someone knowledgeable to talk with? This would be the time. A professional counselor with experience in your field. You wouldn't be the only one seeing a counselor. Lots of people do it. LOTS of people with kids with disabilities do it. Sometimes you need to talk through what you're feeling out loud, and there's probably nobody around you who would really get it. And sometimes there are coping strategies.

 

You've got so much going on, I would definitely consider getting some counseling to support YOU.

 

Thank you for this. I keep telling myself that the IQ scores aren't accurate. I know he's smart. He loves learning about history and is starting to be interested in politics. He knows SO much more about both of those subjects than I do! He's also a happy kid and rarely gets sad or angry. That in itself is a blessing. 

 

The road to brain surgery is a very long and complicated process. Currently they are testing my son to see where his seizures are originating from and then if that spot is operable. It takes quite a bit of time to get all the tests done. Some of them require hospital stays for several days. In all of this test testing is where the Neuro Psych test came in to play. They were specifically looking for language and memory skills. Although I have heard multiple parents say that after their child had brain surgery and the seizures were eliminated their IQ scores shot up by quite a bit. I know that all the medication my son is now taking is affecting him as well. He's exhausted much of the time and his processing speed has slowed. I know it would improve if we could get off of at least some of these meds.

 

I'm very lucky to have a very supportive community around me. I should have gone to counseling when he was diagnosed as a baby but it never even occurred to me! 

 

Again thank you.

[Minerva]

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

 

[Heathermomster]

Brain surgery is a BIG deal. I am so sorry for your troubles.  Your boy has CP with seizures, so certain types of testing are going to be affected.  It sounds like his overall intelligence is sound, and that is outstanding.

 

What IQ subtests did he score low on?

 

My DS is 2e with 3 SLDs.  With accommodations, he scores much higher IRL than he does on the unaccommodated and normed achievement testing. My son's verb comp and spatial reasoning numbers are high, and the wm and processing speed numbers are low.  I eventually had to say, "Heck with the numbers."

 

That, as he's awesome, so being awesome helps too.

 

Good luck with the surgery. :grouphug:  :grouphug:

 

 

[Pegs]

He sounds like a happy kid with a solid and well-rounded education. What a great foundation you've given him, despite the ongoing adversity he and you manage.

 

Much admiration from here.

[Crimson Wife]

When it is an evaluation done as part of an insurance pre-authorization process, the evaluator may have deliberately chosen subtests that he/she believes will put the child in the worst possible light so that the bean-counters will approve treatment. This happened with my daughter and the speech & language testing before her cochlear implant

 

 

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[Lecka]

I think one month is still very early. I think the whole first year is hard off and on. It is big news and it takes a while to see how it fits into everything else.

 

I still get sad a few times a year, and overall I would say it is not something I think of very often. Sometimes I have comparisons or moments of wishing some certain thing was going better.

 

But overall I think it has been much easier since the first year, but the first year was hard a lot, so I think with one month it is very understandable.

 

But real life can be very different from pieces of paper.

 

My son does much better than is reflected by pieces of paper, too, and that is the real him.