TwoEdgedSword Posted December 31, 2016 Share Posted December 31, 2016 Please don't quote this!!!! Our thirteen year old son is very smitten with a girl one grade behind him. She is a very sweet girl and we are friends and enjoy her family very much. It's not from afar, but someone he and we see often. But...they are moving in the fall for military reasons and will be gone for four years and then return to our area. While gone, it will be out of state, so not likely our families will see each other at all during that time. He will be 17 when they return and of course everything will be different. Our kids don't "date" at this age, so this is nothing more than a sweet friendship. However, between now and when they leave, I'm at a loss at what to do and say. He'd like to have the whole family over. I'm worried about him getting hurt when they go. I also don't want to say "hey they're leaving so guard your heart and don't open up to people" that are really decent human beings. I think it's mutual with her too. He's very mature in the wisdom department for his age. He doesn't view girls as objects and believes as our family does, that you keep your heart and body for that one person. Help! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shinyhappypeople Posted December 31, 2016 Share Posted December 31, 2016 Does he know they're moving? I think it's absolutely appropriate to caution him to guard his heart. It doesn't mean "shut her out" but more "be realistic and understand that it's easier to pull back just a bit now rather than 6 months from now." 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted December 31, 2016 Share Posted December 31, 2016 I'm sure that he knows that they are moving? I don't think that you can keep him from feeling sad. Just offer him an ear and hugs and things to do to keep busy. It is easier nowadays to keep in touch through texting, emails, Skype, Facetime, etc. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TwoEdgedSword Posted December 31, 2016 Author Share Posted December 31, 2016 Yes he does. And although it's months away, I've seen a change in his personality. He seems waay more serious and like he's preparing for something awful. He didn't tell me initially about his feelings, but I figured it out when he was always wanting to come along when she would be where we were going. He started talking to me about his hairstyle and took more interest in his clothes. Also, he made sure he personally delivered our Christmas card to her. When I asked him, he confirmed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MercyA Posted December 31, 2016 Share Posted December 31, 2016 As long as he knows they're moving, I wouldn't restrict him from seeing her or discourage the friendship. I'd have the family over, too, if that's something you would ordinarily do. If it's meant to be, there are plenty of ways for them to stay in touch. :) 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Girls' Mom Posted December 31, 2016 Share Posted December 31, 2016 When my dd was 13, she fell head over heels for a boy. We loved their entire family, actually. They moved all the way across the country. She was heartbroken, and it was hard on her. BUT, they kept in touch. Now they are 20 and 23 and are still friends. I don't think she would trade the heartbreak for the time we spent with them the few months before the move. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaybee Posted December 31, 2016 Share Posted December 31, 2016 I'm not sure you can protect him from hurting over this. As a teen, I didn't have this situation, but I did face, for the first time, losing dear friends several times through moves. On into early adulthood, it hurt terribly when I lost people through moves because I gave my heart to people, but I never regretted the relationships even if their depth caused me more hurt. As we have lived a mobile lifestyle, I have grown a lot in this, and accept much more easily the griefs now, but the first ones were especially painful. Yet, it was part of growing up and maturing. I'm glad I wasn't taught to protect myself by building walls. It's one of those hard things about moving into maturity. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kroe1 Posted December 31, 2016 Share Posted December 31, 2016 With social media, Skype, FaceTime, Twitter, and Snapchat, this generation never has to say goodbye. My kids chat daily with friends they have not seen in years. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loowit Posted December 31, 2016 Share Posted December 31, 2016 My sister had a boyfriend at that age that moved away. They called and talked on the phone a lot at first, but then things naturally just drifted apart. I also had a "boyfriend" at that age that was living in our area for a year with his grandparents to go to school. He was a sweet guy and we wrote back an forth for years. Sure it was heartbreaking when he left, even though I knew it was coming, but I wouldn't trade those days and miss out on knowing him just to avoid the eventual pain. Heartbreak is part of life, sadly, but the memories of the happy times overshadow the pain, at least for me looking back. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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