X-post: Feeling emotional - ds8 has dyslexia

[EmmaNZ]

We don't have a formal report yet but the lady today said his verbal ability is way ahead of his writing and spelling ability. Also that he has a slow processing speed (I'm not even really sure what that means). He does not have any significant issues with reading though, so that is one good thing.

 

I really know nothing about dyslexia. Can you reassure me that this is going to be ok? That I can still teach him? That it isn't my fault (I'm not even sure why I feel guilty, but I know that is one of the things I'm feeling)

 

Are there any good books I can read about this, to educate myself about where to go from here?

[displace]

I saw the other thread but I wanted to warmly welcome you. :). It is superbly overwhelming/emotional/scary/other? to get a diagnosis of dyslexia. It will subside as you become more informed.

 

I assume you've been homeschooling? If so, feel reassured that you have likely prevented a lot of problems that public schools introduce unknowingly to students with dyslexia. You've probably been using a phonetic based instruction, and will only have to change somewhat to a more Ortin-Gillingham approach. OG is just teaching reading/spelling with all the possible senses, not just one or two. Depending on your DS's abilities or weaknesses, you can even sometimes use regular homeschooling materials. All About Reading and All About Spelling are excellent programs that a lot of dyslexics do fine with. Other families want something more detailed and go to Barton.

 

The best book for you to read ASAP is Dyslexic Advantage by Drs. Eide and Eide. They are physicians with a son with dyslexia and have dedicated their practices and study to dyslexia. They also have a nonprofit website Dyslexic Advantage, and you tube videos with short clips or long lectures on dyslexia, famous people with dyslexia, etc.

 

It's going to be ok! It will be time consuming, however, and sometimes frustrating or difficult for you and/or DS. But you will both do well. Expect: it will take longer for DS to learn to read/write/spell/compose than others. That's ok. Also expect: you may need to curriculum hop or seek outside tutoring/help sometimes, to find what works for your family. That's ok too.

 

In brief, dyslexia is just the way some people's brains work when learning to read that is different. The majority have difficulties with hearing/understanding that a sound is represented by a certain letter(s). Some have difficulties with processing what they read. Some have trouble translating letters into words. There is a great variety as we are all different. Each program focuses on explicit teaching of phonics, phonemic awareness, blending, and higher level skills.

 

You can do it!

Edited November 23, 2016 by displace

[displace]

PS - slow processing is sort of the brain taking longer to react, plan, process, think.

 

Other great resources: understood.org, Google dyslexia Yale website too.

[AnthemLights]

I was also going to recommend The Dyslexic Advantage.  Awesome, awesome book.  Very encouraging.  Before reading The Dyslexic Advantage I saw my son's struggles as a disability....now I see it as a unique, amazing challenge.

 

Welcome and good luck.  

 

 

[shinyhappypeople]

We don't have a formal report yet but the lady today said his verbal ability is way ahead of his writing and spelling ability. Also that he has a slow processing speed (I'm not even really sure what that means). He does not have any significant issues with reading though, so that is one good thing.

 

I really know nothing about dyslexia. Can you reassure me that this is going to be ok? That I can still teach him? That it isn't my fault (I'm not even sure why I feel guilty, but I know that is one of the things I'm feeling)

 

Are there any good books I can read about this, to educate myself about where to go from here?

 

So, did she actually say he had dyslexia?  Or did she just suggest he had a learning disability? I don't understand why I mismatch between verbal ability and writing/spelling without reading issues would equal dyslexia, but there's a lot I don't know, so... educate me :)

 

The slow processing speed is no biggie, just adapt, slow down, give extra time to get stuff down.  It'll be fine.

[OneStepAtATime]

So, did she actually say he had dyslexia?  Or did she just suggest he had a learning disability? I don't understand why I mismatch between verbal ability and writing/spelling without reading issues would equal dyslexia, but there's a lot I don't know, so... educate me :)

 

The slow processing speed is no biggie, just adapt, slow down, give extra time to get stuff down.  It'll be fine.

There are stealth dyslexics that have learned how to decode enough key words to actually read content pretty well, especially when reading silently.  They tend to struggle to decode nonsense words, though, because their overall decoding and fluency are not very good.  They are just very bright and able to find coping mechanisms that keep the reading functional.  Perhaps that is what is happening in this case?  Also, there ARE people that are labeled as dyslexic that can read without targeted OG exposure, but struggle with spelling/writing.  

 

OP, when you say your child doesn't have many issues with reading, when your child reads aloud, how well does he read?  Does he skip small words?  Does he guess based on the beginning of a word?  How often does he misdecode? How is his fluency?

 

And hugs.  Dyslexia usually means that your child may have weaknesses in reading/writing/spelling but they very frequently have areas of strength.  Hopefully the person who evaluated your child did a wide range of testing.  You need to know the details, the weakness but also the strengths.  I know this can feel like a punch in the gut but honestly there are some positives, too.  Definitely read The Dyslexic Advantage.

[OneStepAtATime]

We don't have a formal report yet but the lady today said his verbal ability is way ahead of his writing and spelling ability. Also that he has a slow processing speed (I'm not even really sure what that means). He does not have any significant issues with reading though, so that is one good thing.

 

I really know nothing about dyslexia. Can you reassure me that this is going to be ok? That I can still teach him? That it isn't my fault (I'm not even sure why I feel guilty, but I know that is one of the things I'm feeling)

 

Are there any good books I can read about this, to educate myself about where to go from here?

This is just a difference in brain processing that means certain areas are harder and will need more explicit, targeted, often specialized instruction to make sense in his brain (such as using an Orton-Gillingham based reading/spelling program for reading/spelling/writing) but also it usually means that certain areas are going to be easier for him. Two sides of the same neurological coin. Unfortunately, a lot of the strengths that can exist with dyslexia are masked by the weaknesses and because of how education is traditionally approached those strengths are often overlooked or untapped. Getting evaluations should hopefully uncover both sides of this so you can help your child reach his full potential, tap into his strengths as you help him with his struggle areas.

 

Let me introduce you to two members of my family (but since many of you lovely LC people have already "heard" all of this, feel free to skip the rest if you don't want to hear it all again :) :

 

First, let me introduce you to my husband. He is a very bright guy. Probably the most intelligent man I know personally. He is a brilliant engineer, highly successful in his field, and well respected. When his former boss retired a few years ago, there was a huge party. People from all over the industry as well as his extended family came. The guy is a very popular, well-known, highly successful business man... He introduced DH to the people at the party as the smartest guy he knows. I share this not to brag but to help you see what other people see in DH today.

 

Now lets swing back to when he was in school. He could not read/spell/write well. He hated school. He struggled in nearly everything. Teachers thought he was lazy or stupid. His parents were afraid he would not even be able to graduate High School. They worried how he would hold a job. They didn't know it but he is dyslexic/dysgraphic and probably ADHD. In school, up until High School, only his weaker areas were seen. They were all looking at him through a very inaccurate, one-sided lens.

 

What helped him, even without a diagnosis or targeted instruction, was two fold. First, his parents supported his outside interests heavily. They knew that academics were not his strong suit so they helped him with his other interests, which at the time were not tapped into in school at all. He learned about computers (long before it was common for kids to have a computer), electronics, built radios, etc. And in High School he was part of a wonderful Broadcast TV program they had that included a ton of hands on, practical experience with the equipment.

 

The High School program led to an internship at a local TV station while he was still in High School, which rapidly led to a job. The TV station recognized his gifts. They had no idea he struggled in school. Having the job and the program in High School kept him from dropping out. Finally, he was seeing that he had value, something he could do well. He needed that to keep going. He has never looked back. One job led to another and another. He did go on to college, although he never finished his degree. He didn't have time. Too busy working and getting promoted. And in the end he was lucky, he didn't need it. He is solidly established in his field and doing incredibly well with his career. And all those people at that party I mentioned above have never had a clue that he ever struggled academically. I doubt they would believe me if I told them so. They are looking at him through a more accurate lens, one that shows him as the capable man that he is.

 

Now let me introduce you to my daughter. She is bright, gifted in certain areas, popular with friends, a joy to be around, writes beautiful poetry, writes interesting stories, reads books, is a wonderful artist and photographer, and is a terrific problem solver.

 

DD struggled in school from 4k onward. In fact, she repeated 4k. In 5th grade she was still struggling to read even basic books like Clifford with any fluency. Her decoding skills were horrible. I was having to reteach nearly every subject at home when she would get in from school, already exhausted, depressed and demoralized. We would study her weekly spelling lists as soon as we got them on Friday and study all through the weekend, and Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and again Friday morning in the hopes that she could pass the test. Most of the time she could, but what did it gain her? She would retain almost none of it by the time she got the new list. If we didn't study all 7 days she would fail. One week we were swamped with just too many things for me to reteach. We only studied that list 3-4 days. She got an 8. Out of 100. An EIGHT. After studying hard for several days. I was in tears. And she was wasting away her childhood beating her head against a seemingly impossible academic wall.

 

Why did she struggle? Because she is profoundly dyslexic. She also has an auditory processing glitch, is probably ADD (getting results of a second evaluation next week), has developmental vision issues, dyscalculia and has other issues, none of which we knew about. School was a nightmare. She was convinced that she was stupid. She was afraid the rest of the world would realize just how stupid she was. She was so depressed by 5th grade that honestly she was closer to suicidal than I had realized. We finally got her evaluated.

 

Yes the diagnosis was like a punch in the gut. But once we had had time to process, and I had read a LOT about dyslexia (we did not yet know about her other issues since those were not tested during that evaluation) it was actually a relief. And when I told DD, I explained that it meant she had a brain that needed a different kind of instruction to learn to read and spell and write well, but she was very bright and had some strengths too. She was so relieved. She was happy. The diagnosis, to her, meant that she was wrong. She wasn't stupid after all. You should have seen the grin on her face...

 

We started her with Barton Reading and Spelling. It is an OG based program designed specifically for dyslexics. She went from Clifford in 5th grade to Divergent in 7th. She could read. Not quickly. But definitely her decoding improved rapidly. She now reads at grade level. With spelling, a friend who is a professional tutor in another city decided to give her two Criterion referenced spelling tests unrelated to her reading and spelling program to see how she was doing. DD did not study for those tests. She did not see the words ahead of time. On the first test she got a 100. On the second she got a 99. The look we exchange, the look in her eyes, when we saw the scores will be with me forever. I still get tears in my eyes.

 

My point in this very long post (and if you actually made it to the end I'm impressed :) ), is that the diagnosis you have for your child is a starting point. A very important one. It gives you answers that are going to help you find a positive path for your son. Things may not be easy. Certainly DD and I still have tough days. Because of her comorbid issues learning can still be quite a challenge. But what the diagnosis did was finally get us seeking the RIGHT answers, the path that actually works, and more than anything it helped us to help her to find her areas of strength, the areas she shines. And I will be forever grateful...

Edited November 23, 2016 by OneStepAtATime

[EmmaNZ]

These comments are really helpful. Many, many thanks. The stories are so reassuring. I already knew that spelling and writing are not his strong points. And that he is a bright, articulate, effervescent little guy. A diagnosis does nothing to change that. And as you all kindly point out, a diagnosis actually makes life easier, because I can better understand what I am dealing with. I have already started reading Dylexic Advantage, and that has been great so far.

 

His reading has always been fine, although a bit slower to get through books than my other kids. When reading aloud he gets the gist, but does tend to skip little words or add them in or guess words from context and the starting letter. Overall though, he does ok. It was the struggle with spelling and writing that lead me to think I might be dealing with something more than just an average 8 year old boy. It is like he has so much information, ideas, words in his brain. But if you ask him to get them out on to paper there is a total block. His hand struggles to remember how to form the letters, his brain just simply cannot remember correct spellings. When we do free writes he can manage only a few sentences in the time we set, and those are completely phonetically spelled.

 

I really think my main issue with him is spelling. Perhaps if he could spell more easily his writing would flow a bit easier?

[shinyhappypeople]

There are stealth dyslexics that have learned how to decode enough key words to actually read content pretty well, especially when reading silently.  They tend to struggle to decode nonsense words, though, because their overall decoding and fluency are not very good.  They are just very bright and able to find coping mechanisms that keep the reading functional.  Perhaps that is what is happening in this case?  Also, there ARE people that are labeled as dyslexic that can read without targeted OG exposure, but struggle with spelling/writing.  

 

OP, when you say your child doesn't have many issues with reading, when your child reads aloud, how well does he read?  Does he skip small words?  Does he guess based on the beginning of a word?  How often does he misdecode? How is his fluency?

 

And hugs.  Dyslexia usually means that your child may have weaknesses in reading/writing/spelling but they very frequently have areas of strength.  Hopefully the person who evaluated your child did a wide range of testing.  You need to know the details, the weakness but also the strengths.  I know this can feel like a punch in the gut but honestly there are some positives, too.  Definitely read The Dyslexic Advantage.

 

Thank you.  I feel smarter now :)  

 

I do wonder if something like that is going on with older DD.  She's convinced she's dyslexic, as in she knows at a gut level that there's something wrong with how she reads (even apart from her vision issues).  They didn't test for dyslexic at the educational eval, though, maybe because her reading came out close enough to grade level.  I don't know.  I was too busy bawling my eyes out at the "big reveal" (when he gave me the results of the eval) to ask rational questions.  But, then again, she did okay on the nonsense words, so... maybe that rules out dyslexia.  Or maybe it's all just the slow processing speed that seems to make almost all school stuff harder.  Ugh.

 

OP: sorry for the hijack.  

Edited November 23, 2016 by shinyhappypeople

[Melissa in Australia]

These comments are really helpful. Many, many thanks. The stories are so reassuring. I already knew that spelling and writing are not his strong points. And that he is a bright, articulate, effervescent little guy. A diagnosis does nothing to change that. And as you all kindly point out, a diagnosis actually makes life easier, because I can better understand what I am dealing with. I have already started reading Dylexic Advantage, and that has been great so far.

 

His reading has always been fine, although a bit slower to get through books than my other kids. When reading aloud he gets the gist, but does tend to skip little words or add them in or guess words from context and the starting letter. Overall though, he does ok. It was the struggle with spelling and writing that lead me to think I might be dealing with something more than just an average 8 year old boy. It is like he has so much information, ideas, words in his brain. But if you ask him to get them out on to paper there is a total block. His hand struggles to remember how to form the letters, his brain just simply cannot remember correct spellings. When we do free writes he can manage only a few sentences in the time we set, and those are completely phonetically spelled.

 

I really think my main issue with him is spelling. Perhaps if he could spell more easily his writing would flow a bit easier?

not sure that the spelling easier will help the writing flow. for my children the information would be in their heads, but the getting it down onto paper couldn't happen before they would loose the thoughts. there are too many steps in the thinking out what to write and writing it down. that is why scribing helped them so much. They would think out the answers or writing etc, dictate it to me and I would scribe. that is why talk to text computer programs can help with writing. That is why doing so many lessons orally really helped my dyslexic children. 

[OneStepAtATime]

These comments are really helpful. Many, many thanks. The stories are so reassuring. I already knew that spelling and writing are not his strong points. And that he is a bright, articulate, effervescent little guy. A diagnosis does nothing to change that. And as you all kindly point out, a diagnosis actually makes life easier, because I can better understand what I am dealing with. I have already started reading Dylexic Advantage, and that has been great so far.

 

His reading has always been fine, although a bit slower to get through books than my other kids. When reading aloud he gets the gist, but does tend to skip little words or add them in or guess words from context and the starting letter. Overall though, he does ok. It was the struggle with spelling and writing that lead me to think I might be dealing with something more than just an average 8 year old boy. It is like he has so much information, ideas, words in his brain. But if you ask him to get them out on to paper there is a total block. His hand struggles to remember how to form the letters, his brain just simply cannot remember correct spellings. When we do free writes he can manage only a few sentences in the time we set, and those are completely phonetically spelled.

 

I really think my main issue with him is spelling. Perhaps if he could spell more easily his writing would flow a bit easier?

1st bolded:  This is apparently very common with stealth dyslexics.  They have enough strengths to be able to discern the meaning of passages even though their decoding and fluency are not efficient.  They tend to be the ones that fly under the radar in a school setting and many are never diagnosed or given solid assistance.  Kudos to you, Mom, for getting the ball rolling with answers that will help, and while he is still young.  

 

2nd bolded:  Maybe.  But there are tons and tons of subsystems that go into writing.  It can take years for all of those subsystems to work together smoothly, even in a neurotypical child.  While you are working out the best way to proceed, at this point I would HIGHLY encourage you to step away from stressing over spelling for the time being.  

 

Your son's spelling (and even his reading) will probably improve eventually if you can move him to a reading/spelling/writing system that is very dyslexia friendly.  Certainly that has helped quite a few others that post on this board, including my daughter and my son.  Right now, though, he does not have the necessary skills in place for spelling to work well.  

 

As mentioned above, your best option is probably to scribe for him right now.  Let him dictate what he needs to say and you write it down for him.  Then you read it back to him to see if what you wrote and what he said are what he meant to say.  Work on writing that way.  Keep spelling off the table for now.  Later on, only do spelling within the context of whatever OG based program you may choose to use (and I do strongly encourage you to use an OG based program with him for reading/spelling, even though you are not worried about his reading).  

 

Continuing to work on spelling right now may be reinforcing already inefficient guessing habits and reinforcing poor connections in his brain.  You are going to need to help him rewrite those brain connections, either through something like All About Spelling or Barton Reading and Spelling or some other system that will help him to break down and reassemble all those critical pieces that make spelling/reading work smoothly.

 

FWIW, several members of my family are poor spellers.  They still went on to successful careers.  Heck, my dad, an abysmal speller his entire life (but a voracious reader), even wrote a maintenance manual for the Air Force.  He just had to have his secretary check his spelling... :)

[wapiti]

But, then again, she did okay on the nonsense words, so... maybe that rules out dyslexia.  Or maybe it's all just the slow processing speed that seems to make almost all school stuff harder.  Ugh.

 

I don't know whether the nonsense words rules out dyslexia, but there are other possible non-dyslexia language processing issues with comprehension (e.g. making inferences).

 

but does tend to skip little words or add them in or guess words from context and the starting letter

 

Consider also ruling out developmental vision issues.

 

he has so much information, ideas, words in his brain. But if you ask him to get them out on to paper there is a total block.

 

sounds dysgraphic?

[displace]

I don't know whether the nonsense words rules out dyslexia, but there are other possible non-dyslexia language processing issues with comprehension (e.g. making inferences).

 

 

Consider also ruling out developmental vision issues.

 

 

sounds dysgraphic?

The lack of ability to remember how to form letters does sound more like dysgraphia. OP - I'm hoping you got an eval with a Neuropsych. If it was a reading specialist, he truly needs a full eval.

[Storygirl]

:grouphug: :grouphug:

 

My daughter is dyslexic and can read better than she spells. She also can read a passage and get it mostly right, skipping a few words, mispronouncing a few others, and guessing the wrong word for some -- "house" instead of "home" for example. She had such a hard time learning to read that I expected to feel happier when she finally "got it" and could get through a grade-level book. But in my gut I knew that all the little things she was still getting wrong signaled an underlying problem that had not been addressed. That's when we finally got the dyslexia diagnosis (though I had suspected it forever).

 

As you process the new diagnosis, it's important for you to not rest on the idea that your son's reading is fine and think that he doesn't need special reading remediation. The stumbles when reading aloud that you mention are Red Flags indicating a need for reading intervention. Remember that the things that he reads now, at age eight, are going to be fairly easy to get through via guessing what word should come next. But as he gets older and must read harder material -- textbooks with difficult vocabulary, scientific and mathematical terms, unfamiliar names, and complex sentence structure, and more difficult literary works -- his reliance on using context clues to gloss over the words he can't properly decode is going to be a problem. In order to make sure that he can decode EVERY word, he's going to need to have remediation to ensure that his foundational reading skills are strong.

 

A multisensory approach, such as one based on Orton-Gillingham methods, has been proven to be best for dyslexics. Some people buy an OG program, such as Barton, to use at home. Others hire a tutor trained in OG methods. Others enroll in a dyslexia school. 

 

Learning OG methods will help spelling as well as reading.

 

DD had OG tutoring last school year, and this year, she is enrolled in a school for dyslexics. She is finally grasping some of the basics of phonics that we worked on for years at home without making progress. Totally worth it! I suspect her spelling will always be poor, but she will be able to use tools such as spell check to help her with that. Being able to read accurately is the main issue.

 

I know the diagnosis feels overwhelming, but it's good information for you to have. Now you can look forward to helping him with better tools :thumbup1: .

[Heathermomster]

When I read the thread, I see that your boy has a slow processing speed with handwriting and spelling issues. Try to chill out as you have not seen the full report yet.

 

SLDs are not a disease but rather the result of organic brain differences. These students require explicit and multisensory instruction which you can provide. These kids thrive and learn at home with appropriate instruction. Homeschoolers have a unique opportunity to provide interest driven and accommodated education. That kind of learning cannot take place in a classroom with 25-30 children. At home, your DS can work at his own pace. I like the fact that I can hire subject matter experts to work with DS whenever we come across a subject that I am not prepared to handle.

 

I like the book Overcoming Dyslexia by Shaywitz. The Eides are a neuropsych couple that wrote the book titled the Dyslexic Advantage and run an excellent blog. For any handwriting difficulty, you will need to get an OT evaluation that will test pincer/core strength, developmental motor, motor planning, the vestibular system, visual perception, and handedness. An OT can help your DS with his handwriting and provide homework. The accommodations for handwriting are scribing, typing, and speech to text software. My DS types all work except math.

 

Since your DS reads but has problems with spelling, you will likely need to select a spelling program like AAS, go back to the beginning, and slowly work your way through the program using the tiles. If your child has a handwriting disability, his efforts to form letters may be interfering with his ability to spell. Many kids with handwriting issues answer questions aloud. Typing was a game changer for my DS. The ability to type helped by son take control of his own learning and provided a measure of independence that he wanted.

 

Overall, if you want to homeschool your son and he is willing to take instruction from you, I see no reason why you cannot homeschool him. These kiddos can thrive in the homeschool environment because you can accommodate them and provide opportunities for an interest led education.

Edited November 25, 2016 by Heathermomster