mom31257 Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 I just asked a student I am supposed to tutor to leave. He's actually doing dual enrollment at a local college. I met with him once to help with a pre-calculus test that he failed (made a 51). I realized from that test, he had many gaps in his learning of Algebra. There were topics he should have learned in Algebra 1 even. I suggested to his mother that we meet weekly to try and fill in those gaps. He plans on an engineering degree, so there can't be any gaps at all. I gave him an Algebra 2 book I have and planned on working every week with him to cover all the topics in it. He came today with an "attitude". I started grading what he had done, and he had missed a few of the problems. He said that he didn't want to do this, and he was mad. He said he can't do math when he's mad. He said he didn't want to do the Algebra 2, only what he's doing in class, which I also planned on tutoring. I told him it wasn't his fault (it was really curriculum choices that caused the gaps and schools not finishing the books, etc.). I think his whole attitude is to just pass the test. I told him he can't if he wants an engineering degree and that he'll need to be able to do this stuff in his sleep. He argued with me some more and I asked him to leave. I have enough stress in my life without adding in someone else's kid. He seems very prideful to me, and that's not a good combination with me. I've tutored a lot of people over the years and never had someone act like they didn't really need much help. Was I wrong? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TeacherZee Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 Nope! Sounds perfectly reasonable to me. The two of you had different expectations on what your role was. It wasn't a match. Move on. Life is to Short:001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JFSinIL Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 I think you are providing a needed reality check to this student! Good for you!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missplacedalaskan Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 I think you did the right thing. If the kid is not willing to learn, you can't make him. If he has an attitude coming into the lesson and isn't willing to work with you, let him go. It isn't your problem. You don't get paid enough to take the attitude too! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrsdash Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 I know that you must feel awful but I don't think you were wrong. I use to help the teachers at our public school by working once a week with some students who were behind. I had a child who was mad because he had to "waste his time" with me when he could be "having free time like everyone else". I explained to him that this was my "free time" and after he continued his attitude, I walked him back to class. It's unfortunate and hopefully he will come around but you and your time needs to be respected. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dangermom Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 I think you were right. Maybe you've planted the seed in his mind that will grow into a conviction that he needs to know a lot more math. You've given him a taste of the real world, I think that's good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ria Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 Good riddance. Be prepared for an angry phone call from his mom, but stick to your guns. You don't need this, and he has shown no desire to want to learn. Ria Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abbeyej Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 Be prepared for an angry phone call from his mom... You know, it's also possible however that she will get it and appreciate that you didn't want to waste her money by continuing to have her pay for tutoring when her son had no intention of working with you. If it were me, I'd tell her, "I'm happy to work with your son if he returns with a good attitude. At this point, however, it's a waste of your money and all of our time if he's unwilling to work to build the foundation he needs to grasp this material." If she's angry, she can find him another tutor who will accept payment for merely walking the boy through the material on the test. And eventually it will become even more obvious how that approach has caught up with him... But at least it won't be your problem. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3lilreds in NC Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 You are mean, mean, MEAN! JUST KIDDING. You were absolutely right to ask him to leave. There really is no point working with someone with an attitude like that. Maybe he will come back with a better attitude once his mother smacks some sense into his adolescent head, or maybe you're just better off without him. Teenagers - gah! I remember thinking I knew everything. My dh will tell you I never outgrew that mindset. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
frogpond1 Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 I'd probably go over the plan with her and let her know why. Then I would find as uplifting a way to implement it with the boy. In your situation- if you are tutoring as a job, and you don't want to deal with attitudes etc. this makes sense. If you are tutoring out of a love of math and wanting this boy to succeed you may have acted a bit hastily. There is perhaps a gentler way to get him to go back wards where he didn't need to save face? I'm remembering back to how horrible it felt when I changed schools and the new band teacher told me I had learned everything wrong about how I played the flute and I had to relearn it all. It felt horrible and so I quit. If I had known my teacher cared about me and really wanted to help me fix mistakes I had been taught I wouldn't have quit. A relationship with a tutor can go an amazingly long way. Now, if you are busy, under a lot of pressure, and don't have time to work with the emotional teenage brain- like I currently am, then this is probably not the tutoring situation for you. I think if I was asking this question, I would really search my heart to decide if I did the right thing or not. Remember, teenagers are more fragile in the egos than younger kids and they need a lot of affirmation and to know someone cares that they can do things. Good luck! I think math tutoring is an amazingly rewarding endeavor. If I wasn't doing my 2 day school I'd be back tutoring math full time. There is such a need for it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in the Kootenays Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 I'd have done the same thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom31257 Posted October 17, 2008 Author Share Posted October 17, 2008 His mother is not mad at me. She said she deals with the same attitude. He's always "gotten it" at the last minute and brought his grades up, so it reinforces him thinking he doesn't really need help. She's going to find him another tutor. I am too busy to deal with attitudes like that. I was doing this to help her out, but to also earn a little extra for Christmas. I did talk to her about feeling that this whole thing is a prideful and serious heart issue. We all have our issues that we have to work through in this life. Some take longer than others, unfortunately. The thing that disturbs me the most is he went to the professor to say he didn't feel he was ready for the class. The prof gave him 6 problems to do and said if he couldn't then he wasn't ready. He missed 4 of the 6. The dean he had to go to would not let him drop the class. How can that be? If the professor says he's not ready, then they should let him drop or transfer to another class. I wonder if this dean wants homeschool, dual enrollees to fail. It seems at least a little like it could be that. When almost all the students failed the first test, the professor is now giving them examples of problems just like they will be on the test. GOOD GRIEF!!!! They are even watering down college! :banghead: Thanks for all the support from everyone. This was the first place I thought to go to because I knew I would get honest opinions. I think we all need a little of that in our lives. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 His mother is not mad at me. She said she deals with the same attitude. He's always "gotten it" at the last minute and brought his grades up, so it reinforces him thinking he doesn't really need help. She's going to find him another tutor. I would consider teaming up with the mom. I would expect her to tell him that he must treat you with cheerful respect, and maybe even stay in the next room in case he steps out of line. My DD sometimes has attitudes like this about things she really doesn't want to have to do. When she is with me, it's one thing (I come down on it, but not every single minute). But I expect her to accept instruction from other teachers with complete cooperation. Right now she is taking music theory, which she totally doesn't want to do. But she has to--she is at the point in her singing where not having learned this is really holding her back. Every single week I remind her to be cheerful and polite and engaged with her tutor. Every week she says that she is. Every week I remind her that she doesn't have to take this forever, and that the sooner she learns it and becomes proficient, the sooner she can stop. It sounds like you would be a great tutor for him. If his mom insists that he may not oppose you and must show a good attitude, then this could work out very well. All of us need to learn to work when we really don't want to. If he has not learned that yet, then this could be his big chance. And as long as he fakes it effectively with you, he won't wear you down and you'll benefit as well. JMO Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardening momma Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 The dean he had to go to would not let him drop the class. How can that be? If the professor says he's not ready, then they should let him drop or transfer to another class. I didn't think you ever needed permission to drop out of a class. I'm only speaking with experience of attending 4 colleges, with plenty of dropped classes (and no degree--no surprise there, huh?). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abbeyej Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 I didn't think you ever needed permission to drop out of a class. I'm only speaking with experience of attending 4 colleges, with plenty of dropped classes (and no degree--no surprise there, huh?). It may be that the student has passed the "drop date", and withdrawing from a class would result in a penalty that would impact transcript and/or GPA... And as a dual-enrolled student, this could compromise the student's ability to take future dual-enrollment classes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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