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Cultural ?-Are you familiar with this type of humor?


HS Mom in NC
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This is definitely my family's brand of humor. But my former in-laws sound like the family in the OP who didn't get it.  And they never particularly cared to. But I will say that they went from thinking horrible things about us to appreciating that we're just different in that regard. Now that my kids are older they see that the kids aren't permanently damaged from it, nor are any of our relationships. We know when to stop and we know how to keep it in good fun.

 

I secretly think that they are a bit envious of how this type of humor has made my kids closer to my family than they are to theirs - for it to work you have to really know the other person (not just superficially know them), you have to have a level of respect for them (including their temperament and limits), and you learn to value the relationship over getting that last laugh. That last bit is something that used to worry them, but they come from a family culture of criticism rather than good-natured teasing.

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I don't think it's a cultural thing, I think it's a family thing.  If a family does that and is fine with it, then fine.  Our family teases each other and is fine.  Other people sometimes overhear and think it sounds bad!  But it's really all in fun because we know each other well.  My kids think it has prepared them to take all kinds of remarks and teasings in the world.  :)  (And truly, they don't get offended easily!)  But, there is also a point at which enough is enough.  The humor isn't funny anymore, it's irritating.

 

 

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I don't think it's a cultural thing, I think it's a family thing.  If a family does that and is fine with it, then fine.  Our family teases each other and is fine.  Other people sometimes overhear and think it sounds bad!  But it's really all in fun because we know each other well.  

 

I flew my son to camp last week, and I don't know if it was his excitement or the fact that he and I were alone but he would not stop talking.  It's like he finally had no siblings competing for my attention and couldn't stop the verbal train of thought. Walking through the airport, he'd tell me everything he saw (Look! I love that magazine. Oh, hey, want tacos? Wait - is that guy wearing a toupee?) as I'm trying to do a mental rundown of our trip (Did I bring my AAA card? Is the car reservation set? Why does our gate keep changing?) and field the 4 million texts from his dad about our itinerary (which had been emailed in detail).

 

We were in line to check in and I finally grabbed my son by the shoulder and said, "Son, if you don't quit talking right this minute I'm going to rip your tongue out of your mouth and beat you with it. Every inch of every limb. Give me two minutes to THINK. In PEACE. PLEASE."  I was firm, but calm. The lady behind us must have hurt her jaw when it hit the ground. She was about to say something when my son laughed, took our bags, and sat down in the boarding area. I had my time to process the trip details and gave him my full attention afterwards. He was totally fine, took it all in stride. She gave me the stink eye the whole flight. LOL

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As an adult, I understand the humor, but I myself would not appreciate it. I'm a very literal person, so if I say I hate something, I would be super annoyed finding 40 of them on my lawn.

 

I'm also not a fan of practical jokes or April Fools Day, but many people are. As long as everyone enjoys it, it's okay.

 

I would not be surprised to find that children who were not a part of that sort of humor "from the beginning" might not understand it.

Agreed. I am not a fan of April fool's day. Nor of giving people something they explicitly state they do not want. Or pranks that end up with shaving cream in contacts and big messes to clean up afterward. None of it seems funny to me. But now I have a kid who is a definite jokester so I have been trying to help him learn when it is the time to joke and when it is the time to be serious. And a lot of it has to do with knowing your audience.

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Context is everything. I have one kid who would laugh her head off and think it was the funniest thing ever, and another who would be very upset, feeling like the target of bullying and meanness despite having a hilarious sense of (verbal) humor. I understand the humor, but don't personally enjoy that kind of joking. My mother's side of the family did things like that and it always made me feel a little picked on. But if it brings you all closer and makes you laugh together, go for it! :)

Edited by Jayne J
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This is my dh's family's brand of humor but not that of my family. My family of origin was very sensitive about others' feelings to the extreme that we all took ourselves way too seriously. I am glad I married into a more light-hearted family, even though it took me a while to adjust. :)

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