Janie Grace Posted May 30, 2016 Share Posted May 30, 2016 I will be attending one soon and I don't really know what is appropriate. It will be a Catholic funeral. 1. Is it okay for a dress to have a pattern or is it solid dark colors only? (I have a black dress with a small white/red floral pattern and another with a black and white geometric pattern.) 2. Is a blouse and skirt okay or do you think it needs to be a dress? 3. How long? Dd has a navy dress but it's about 4-5 inches above her knee. She's tall and leggy. Should I try to something knee-length for her? 4. Anything specific to a Catholic funeral I should know? Thanks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kassia Posted May 30, 2016 Share Posted May 30, 2016 I will be attending one soon and I don't really know what is appropriate. It will be a Catholic funeral. 1. Is it okay for a dress to have a pattern or is it solid dark colors only? (I have a black dress with a small white/red floral pattern and another with a black and white geometric pattern.) 2. Is a blouse and skirt okay or do you think it needs to be a dress? 3. How long? Dd has a navy dress but it's about 4-5 inches above her knee. She's tall and leggy. Should I try to something knee-length for her? 4. Anything specific to a Catholic funeral I should know? Thanks. I think everything you wrote would be fine - patterned dress, blouse and skirt, and the dress above the knee. I've been to several Catholic funerals and have seen people wear all sorts of things. Erica 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janie Grace Posted May 30, 2016 Author Share Posted May 30, 2016 Thank you! Another question I forgot -- is it okay for boys 13 and under to wear dress shirts and ties with khakis without blazers/sports coats? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustEm Posted May 30, 2016 Share Posted May 30, 2016 Thank you! Another question I forgot -- is it okay for boys 13 and under to wear dress shirts and ties with khakis without blazers/sports coats?Yes 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gypsymama Posted May 30, 2016 Share Posted May 30, 2016 I've never been to a Catholic funeral to speak to that. Can you ask someone in the family? I would consider calling the local church and asking the priest there. I'm sure he wouldn't mind answering any questions you may have. Funeral attire really goes the full spectrum depending on the family/situation. My mom's side of the family anything goes. People try to dress nice but they do what they can... this may mean their best, clean blue jeans and a pressed flannel shirt. The important thing is that they show up. :) My dad's side of the family is very specific. When you go to a funeral you are expected to be "respectable" and dress to the nine's, full black/dark church attire. Suits, skirts/dresses for women, etc. My grandmother even took everyone shopping for my grandfather's funeral to ensure we were all dressed "appropriately" :lol: Even for her what you mentioned sounds respectable and nice. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tita Gidge Posted May 30, 2016 Share Posted May 30, 2016 Some Catholic funerals are a full blown MASS with a priest and communion (only Catholics should partake). They take a little over an hour. Other funerals are a shorter funeral liturgy service (no priest, no communion) and run shorter. The use of incense is common to both. Eulogies and memories aren't usually given at a Catholic funeral. They're more typically delivered at the wake/vigil prior to the funeral service. All of your clothing options are appropriate. I lean toward the more traditional dark colors only (for adults) but I think Sunday Best is very common (especially if you're not immediate family). I have to believe that the family would rather people come in anything they own, than to skip the service. It's perfectly normal and acceptable for kids to wear their Sunday Best - I might even say it's expected - even if it doesn't fit within the traditional parameters of funeral attire. Just one note - Catholic parishes vary tremendously. Historically, and now more traditionally, there was a modesty code. If you've ever visited European chapels, it's much the same as those - no bare shoulders, knee-length skirts/dresses or longer, etc. Nobody would turn you away for not knowing, but it may make you uncomfortable. Just do a quick Google for the parish holding the funeral. You should be able to tell by the website which kind of parish it is, just by looking at the pictures LOL but these days most of the very traditional dress-code parishes are clear and upfront about it on their website. In this case just bring a shawl for your outfit and maybe find a longer skirt for your daughter. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoobie Posted May 30, 2016 Share Posted May 30, 2016 Don't take communion at a Catholic church. Just stay in your pew. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kassia Posted May 30, 2016 Share Posted May 30, 2016 Thank you! Another question I forgot -- is it okay for boys 13 and under to wear dress shirts and ties with khakis without blazers/sports coats? I think that would be fine. Erica Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted May 30, 2016 Share Posted May 30, 2016 I will be attending one soon and I don't really know what is appropriate. It will be a Catholic funeral. 1. Is it okay for a dress to have a pattern or is it solid dark colors only? (I have a black dress with a small white/red floral pattern and another with a black and white geometric pattern.) 2. Is a blouse and skirt okay or do you think it needs to be a dress? 3. How long? Dd has a navy dress but it's about 4-5 inches above her knee. She's tall and leggy. Should I try to something knee-length for her? 4. Anything specific to a Catholic funeral I should know? Thanks. As you are a guest and not a member of the parish, whatever you wear will be fine. But yes, everything you mentioned would be acceptable (including dress shirt and tie with khakis and without a blazer. Personally, I would be thrilled to death to see a young man dressed in a tie. Well done.) If this is a Mass, there will be Communion. Only Catholics in good standing may receive Communion. You may stay in your seat while others go forward; no one will think anything of it. The priest might invite non-Catholics to come forward and receive a blessing, and then you may go up or not (he will explain what to do). Again, no one will think anything of it one way or another. At every Mass there will be people staying in the pews and not going forward. :-) 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted May 30, 2016 Share Posted May 30, 2016 I've mostly been to Catholic funerals. It's not a big deal. You can get away with almost anything. I mean I wouldn't go there in ripped jeans, but yeah none of the funerals I've been to were a big ta dah in that respect. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TammyS Posted May 30, 2016 Share Posted May 30, 2016 All of the things you mentioned were fine. You might want to have your daughter sit on a low chair (pews are lower than most chairs and seem to make skirts ride higher, IME) just to check that her skirt isn't shorter than you think it is, but it sounds like it's probably fine. You wouldn't want to wear a bright party dress or work clothes, but almost anything is fine. If it's a mass, just follow along (there will be hymnals in the pew and the first several pages have the order of the mass if you want more help) with everyone else and then don't go up for communion (there will be plenty of people not going up, no one will notice or care). No one is going to check for your Catholic card or do a wardrobe check. Unless you go in there looking like Liberace, no one will notice your clothes at all. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterPan Posted May 31, 2016 Share Posted May 31, 2016 At the funerals I've been to recently there was a wide range of clothing. People are going more casual in general, and you'll even see jeans. Everything you listed would be appropriate. I wouldn't walk in with sparklers, but just anything quiet will be fine. I even saw people in red. Things have just really relaxed. Nope, almost no one will be in dresses. Skirts and tops, dress pants. They more want to see YOU than they care about what you're wearing. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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