Gamom3 Posted October 5, 2008 Share Posted October 5, 2008 (edited) My ds's girlfriends mom...also our neighbor borrowed a crate from me about 3months ago. I noticed the other day, when their dog got out and I was asked if I saw her to put her in her kennel..that they had purchasd one for her and not using the one I loaned her. We are needing the crate back. I told ds to mention it to his gf and he told me that the dog had chewed it up, that is why they had gotten a new one. I called her--left a message-- this morning to let her know that I needed it back today, since we have a new puppy...I did not let on that I knew what had happened to it. I want to see what she does. I have a feeling that she is going to return the chewed up crate to me and not thinking anything of it. I do not feel this is right...How would you approach her when or if this happens. BTW: .... Our crate was not new, but still in good working condition, just faded. Edited October 5, 2008 by Gamom3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted October 5, 2008 Share Posted October 5, 2008 I would request the reasonable amount of funds for a new crate! Nicely at first. "OH! NO! I didn't know I'd have to buy a new crate! I need one now and I didn't budget for going to buy one this week! Do you think you can replace the damage one you borrowed today or tomorrow!?" And yes, I'd be steaming if she didn't.:glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bkpan Posted October 5, 2008 Share Posted October 5, 2008 Try to think the best of your neighbor. If you need the crate back, then perhaps a call with a notice - like, could you please return the crate this week as we are in need, would have been a little more reasonable. Asking for it immediately may put her in a corner. I imagine she would intend to replace it, but not giving her the chance takes away an opportunity to extend grace to her. Perhaps she intended to give you the new one they bought after their dog was a little older? HTH. Kim Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lolly Posted October 5, 2008 Share Posted October 5, 2008 Truthfully, I would just go out and get a new crate. I would like to ask her for whatever the crate was worth (taking into consideration it is a used crate). But knowing that I am not good at that type of thing and would most likely bungle it, I would just cut my losses and move on. I don't lend things that I cannot afford to lose. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted October 5, 2008 Share Posted October 5, 2008 Try to think the best of your neighbor. If you need the crate back, then perhaps a call with a notice - like, could you please return the crate this week as we are in need, would have been a little more reasonable. Asking for it immediately may put her in a corner. I imagine she would intend to replace it, but not giving her the chance takes away an opportunity to extend grace to her. Perhaps she intended to give you the new one they bought after their dog was a little older? HTH.Kim I don't see how it would put her in a corner. She should have bought one to replace the one she broke before buying herself a new one. At the least, she should have bought the replacement when she bought herself a new one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wagnfun Posted October 5, 2008 Share Posted October 5, 2008 My ds's girlfriends mom...also our neighbor borrowed a crate from me about 3months ago.I noticed the other day, when their dog got out and I was asked if I saw her to put her in her kennel..that they had purchasd one for her and not using the one I loaned her. We are needing the crate back. I told ds to mention it to his gf and he told me that the dog had chewed it up, that is why they had gotten a new one. I called her--left a message-- this morning to let her know that I needed it back today, since we have a new puppy...I did not let on that I knew what had happened to it. I want to see what she does. I have a feeling that she is going to return the chewed up crate to me and not thinking anything of it. I do not feel this is right...How would you approach her when or if this happens. BTW: .... Our crate was not new, but still in good working condition, just faded. The fact that this is ds's gfs family makes a difference to me. I'm guessing the ds is the 18 yr old. You may be involved with this family for a LONNNNGGG time. I'd mention, as you did that you need it back. If she does't replace it, you have to drop it. You don't want the mother of your grandbabies in 5+ years to not see you over a dog crate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted October 5, 2008 Share Posted October 5, 2008 I would call back and say "we made arrangements for the pup for a few days, I will come over on Friday to pick up the kennel. If you have a chance, could you please clean it with bleach so the other dogs smells don't bother the puppy." This may encourage her to actually look at the kennel, and maybe by cleaning it, she will remember the damage and replace it. If you get to her house and she offers you the old kennel back, I would simply say, "oh well, looks like the puppy damaged it to the point that it won't be usable any longer, I guess I will just give you this one and I will go buy a new one. I wish you would have told me, so I could have shopped around for a used one, instead I will now have to buy a new one, as I need it today" On that note, I would turn and leave. If she offers you compensation, take it, if not let it go. One of the reasons I would go to her house, is that this way YOU don't have to get rid of it. She is then stuck with disposing of it. I figure a puppy chewing up a kennel could be expected wear and tear. I know it is irritating because you kept it nice, buy when you loan things out, you take that risk! If they ran it over with a car, or a human did something to it...Then I would feel different. But the puppy did it. If you knew you were loaning it to a puppy, then you should have said something in the beginning about expected condition of return. I have made this mistake myself and now when I loan something, I say "this is the condition I am loaning this in, I expect it to look the same when I get it back." I usually loan books and sometimes they come back with a bent corner or creased pages, but that to me is normal wear and tear on a book. The one lady who water damaged some books, replaced them, mostly because we had the conversation first. I know you will be forever irritated about the situation, but try to realize that she didn't do it on purpose and while she should offer to replace it, part of that blame is on you for not setting some guidelines in the beginning. I hope she replaces it :0) ~~Tap Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nestof3 Posted October 5, 2008 Share Posted October 5, 2008 I have had some bad experiences with this sort of thing. Example: Months ago we lent a Narnia Stratego game to church friends. A few months later, my son mentioned that he'd like the game back, and we were only then notified that they lost a piece. I asked them to just return the game without the piece when we met again for house church. In the meantime, our son borrowed a LOTR audio tape set, but our tape player ate two of the tapes, so I immediately ordered the same exact thing in CD form. My eldest mentioned to the dad that we had ruined the tape and were buying another, and while the dad said, "We still need to get you a new game" they have never made any effort to do so, and I'm sure they never will. I have just come to the point where I have realized people are going to be as responsible as they want to be, and I have given up on expecting any more than that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted October 5, 2008 Share Posted October 5, 2008 Since you know these people well, you probably know a bit more about how she's going to respond. Is she someone who will put on your front step, broken and unclean at 10:30 pm for you to find in the morning? Is she someone who will suggest, that she thought you were actually giving it to her? (In this case, try to review in you mind, what conversation you had when you lent it) Is the family on a tight budget (who isn't), but I mean really tight and she really can't replace it and is embarassed to tell you? I think you should be honestly clear. You were lending it to her with the expectation you would have it back. In the mean time, I'd get on freecycle and look for a free one. If you score a reasonable replacement quickly, I'd let it drop and I'd never lend to them again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Confuzzled Posted October 5, 2008 Share Posted October 5, 2008 Exactly. I don't lend things out unless I don't care if I get them back. I have been burned too many times. Hopefully she will do the right thing and at least offer you something. Yeah, me too. When I lend something it's always with the idea in my mind that I'm choosing to give it away. If I get it back, great, if not, great. Kris Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hornblower Posted October 5, 2008 Share Posted October 5, 2008 Yeah, me too. When I lend something it's always with the idea in my mind that I'm choosing to give it away. If I get it back, great, if not, great. Kris :iagree: I do just give things away. My parents have always done that, been very generous with things, wouldn't hesitate to lend our car etc to people and you know what, most often it all works out OK. And if not, well, it's just stuff. It kind of weirds dh out though, as he was raised to be really obsessive about his stuff. The first real test of our relationship was when I asked to use his car for a few months while he was out on a job. He thought that was an awfully BIG step. I thought it was nothing.... The next test was when I got rear-ended in it a couple weeks later - totally NOT my fault. I thought he'd just keel over from the shock :lol: But he lived. Too bad you're not closer to me. I have tons of crates lying around. We have a city clean up day once a year & I drive around picking up all the crates people put out, clean them up & then we share them among foster homes for the rescues.... The only ones I've paid for are the giant ones - those are hard to score for free. I wanna see the new pup! Pix pls! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gamom3 Posted October 5, 2008 Author Share Posted October 5, 2008 She came over with a brand new crate! She told me what her dog did and apologized about it. I always think the worst and then feel bad when it turns out right! Thanks for all the advice! I wanted to be prepared...I am not good on the spot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holly IN Posted October 5, 2008 Share Posted October 5, 2008 Never mind!! I didn't read all the post so I posted after the situation is resolved. Hooray!!! She bought a new one. Holly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A.J. at J.A. Posted October 5, 2008 Share Posted October 5, 2008 She came over with a brand new crate!She told me what her dog did and apologized about it. I always think the worst and then feel bad when it turns out right! Thanks for all the advice! I wanted to be prepared...I am not good on the spot. Yeah! That is wonderful! :hurray: Blessings! Angela Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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