Diana in OR Posted September 30, 2008 Share Posted September 30, 2008 A couple weeks ago I posted about my bil getting married. He is 42, never had a job and still lives at home leeching off his parents (who want him there). He is due to get marrried on Saturday to his 56yo live in fiancee,no job (did I mention this is a 'Republican only, conservative Christian' family?). I had a potential conflict with a conference I want to attend but couldn't get a straight answer from them about the final date. I know this is long, but if you want to read the original post, here it is. FF to now. I registered for the conference, but will miss one workshop session to attend the wedding. Last week, he calls me up and asks if I can make their cake. I told him no, because I would be busy the 2 days before the wedding as well as the morning of the wedding and immediately after. Mind you, this is for 100 people. NO WAY could I do a wedding cake in less than 2 weeks notice. His fiancee was insistent that I make the cake, but again I said no. Then they asked (knowing I am busy the morning of), if I could pick up mil and fil and bring them to the wedding. Logistically, it won't work. I need to leave right from my meeting to get there on time, as it is a 45 min. drive. I told them I couldn't do it. Bridezilla goes off the deep end and insists that family should chip in to help out and I need to do this. I'm not going to. They knew before they asked me that it wouldn't work. Did I mention they are master manipulators? I have serious issues with this wedding anyway and don't even want to go. I'm only going b/c dh recluctantly agreed to be the best man. The other sibling's spouse, my bil is not going, b/c he has serious issues with it as well. (More about him in a minute.) Meanwhile, a longtime family friend who lives 3 hours away, declined to be in the wedding for financial reasons, and also b/c he has serious issues with this. Then, on Saturday morning, our family friend called to say that his brother, who lives in our city, died of a heroin overdose. They asked dh to officiate a cremation ceremony on Sunday, the day after the wedding. We spent the weekend shaking our heads and saying we didn't know how this week could get any stranger. 4:30 a.m. this morning, sil called to say her dh was taken to the hospital with a massive heart attack. At the moment he's stable, but the next 24 hours are critical. All 3 families (bil and his parents; sil and her dh, and our family friend's) are very disfunctional and out of control. And they all know each other pretty well. So far, I'm holding up and holding my tongue. I resisted strongly the urge to buy them a set of "Freeloader Forks" that I saw at Borders--they telescope up to 2 ft. so you can take food from other people's plates! But if Bridezilla makes one more remark it's going to be difficult. If you think about it, please send prayers, pleasant thoughts, etc. my way. I'm also dealing with a health issue that I won't be able to get in for for at least a week or so, and am fairly anxious about that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aggie Posted September 30, 2008 Share Posted September 30, 2008 Yeow. I'll be praying for you and your dh! Dh's family is along the same lines, truly. Dysfunctional, toxic manipulators and free-loaders. It's amazing dh turned out as wonderful as he is. Aggie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa at Home Posted September 30, 2008 Share Posted September 30, 2008 Even if I only got them out occassionally as a reminder of my own stability. They sound hilarious! Plus, you'll probably never find them again, and you might need them for Christmas some year.:D You'll be in my prayers, :grouphug: ~Lisa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hen Posted September 30, 2008 Share Posted September 30, 2008 I have a step-family that is dysfunctional and sometimes I think flat-out crazy. Then again, it just might be the booze and drugs, they are hard to get along with for sure. I used to get tense during the holidays, then I realized I should just go, keep my mouth shut and enjoy the show. praying for you. The best you can do is just keep your mouth shut. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted September 30, 2008 Share Posted September 30, 2008 Wear a teflon hat, and take naps. I get tired just reading this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
readwithem Posted September 30, 2008 Share Posted September 30, 2008 Oh my goodness. I'm sorry but I LOL'd. I know that doesn't help your situation AT ALL. Ick. Praying you survive the weekend and can take care of your own health issues soon. Post an update on Monday - we'll all be here with the leech forks :) So does fiance live with your inlaws as well? Of course that's just one of 50 strange things in your post. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yslek Posted September 30, 2008 Share Posted September 30, 2008 Oh wow. Good for you for having firm boundaries. :thumbup1: Sounds like you need it with these folks. :eek: Kelsy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diana in OR Posted September 30, 2008 Author Share Posted September 30, 2008 . Post an update on Monday - we'll all be here with the leech forks :) So does fiance live with your inlaws as well? Of course that's just one of 50 strange things in your post. Yep, she moved in with them a few months ago. Did I mention they are conservative Christians? Did I also mention (here's #51) that bil and fiancee spend literally all their free time, which is a lot b/c they don't work, going to church services, healing meeting, revival meetings, etc.? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted September 30, 2008 Share Posted September 30, 2008 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diana in OR Posted October 5, 2008 Author Share Posted October 5, 2008 I can't believe the week this has been. It's like a bad soap opera. My sil's dh passed away last night. He was 58. We spent most of the week sitting with her at the hospital. We are very sad, but we are confident her dh is in a better place and at peace. Bil and Bridezilla got married yesterday afternoon. We didn't go to the wedding, opting to stay with sil instead. Dh's friends cancelled the ceremony for their brother who died from the heroin od. They will do it later on. We got the news about sil's dh on Friday that he would not make it. Bil and Bridezilla showed up at the hospital with a "prophet" who wanted to pray to raise him from the dead. (Our nephew diplomatically did not let that happen.) We found out they also tried to do that with our friend's brother 3 days after he died. They said they wanted to pray for him to be raised from the dead like Lazarus. This is frightening to me to say the least. Meanwhile, we have a dear friend who is a funeral director who is helping us with the arrangements. When we spoke with him yesterday, we learned that he was also the director that responded when they found our friend's brother. In the end, we bought bil and Bridezilla a Costco membership as a wedding present. If you think a bit, you'll figure out why we chose that. Thanks for letting me share. This has been an extremely difficult week. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chiguirre Posted October 6, 2008 Share Posted October 6, 2008 That was truly a horrible week. The only positive note is that it's probably one of the worst weeks you'll ever have and you made it through. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted October 6, 2008 Share Posted October 6, 2008 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sharon H in IL Posted October 6, 2008 Share Posted October 6, 2008 May things look up from here, Diana. You made a wise decision, imo. Sitting with the bereaved is a great good deed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missplacedalaskan Posted October 6, 2008 Share Posted October 6, 2008 I'm so sorry :grouphug:. I can't imagine how difficult it has been. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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